Twice Loved by the War God

6 - Instinct

Hermes was too exhausted to go on, but I couldn't linger by his side when I could hear the screams of children nearby.

"It's fine," he wheezed, and he curled up against a smattering of small boulders with his trembling arms crossed over his chest. "Go, or else there was no point in me almost killing myself getting you here."

He was right. I hated to leave him all alone here, but he didn't look like he was in any danger more serious than total fatigue. Besides, judging by the irritated expression on his face as he glared at me out of the corner of his eye, he would feel better once I was gone.

I wondered about that, as Ares carried me on his back the rest of the short distance to the blazing village. Hermes had yet to say anything to me that was even remotely warmer than neutral, but then again, there was plenty between us that likely left his affections toward me chilled and stiff. I might have been able to free him from Zeus's god pact somehow, but I had failed with everyone else. Not to mention that he likely still blamed me for endangering Ares and the others in the first place, since I had been the catalyst for all the chaos that had exploded so violently in the end.

"Let me down," I murmured in Ares's ear, and I felt his hands tighten around the outside of my thighs as if he were about to refuse. His touch was nearly hot enough to scald me, and yet I found it nothing more than comforting and familiar. Still, he had to let go. "Let me down," I repeated, keeping my voice soft as I squeezed his shoulder. "I have to help."

"I'm coming with you."

Something instinctual inside me rebelled against his words. No, he shouldn't come, it said. That would be unwise.

Why, I asked inwardly as if I weren't arguing with myself, and I shook my head in exasperation. Hearing voices, was I? And talking to them, even arguing? What was next, hallucinations?

Except, I realized a second later as he helped me slide down and land softly on my feet, it was true. It had been so long since I walked among mortals that I'd forgotten how feared Ares was, what terror he struck in men. The things he symbolized in their hearts and minds were nothing like the dauntless, selfless, long-suffering man I had come to know. To mortals, he was nothing but war incarnate, bloodshed and suffering. Even I had been paralyzed with fear when I had first met him outside the township where he had found me hiding.

All of it felt so long ago. I knew him now to be different from the stories, or at least knew him to be a changed man now. But the people, they wouldn't understand. They would recognize him within seconds, and then the panic would be even greater than it was now in the midst of the blazing flames eating up thatched rooftops and wooden fences.

"I won't let you go alone," he said. He must have seen the hesitation on my face. "You can barely stand."

"That's not true. I feel better already. I think being outside is helping."

It was true. The thought occurred to me that it bordered on strange, even, that I suddenly felt rejuvenated after having been toted down the mountain on Ares's back while buffeted by the freezing winds of Hermes's speedy pace. My joints were a little sore from having bounced on a rock-hard back all the way down, but otherwise, I felt...stronger. Surer.

"I'm not letting you go alone."

"But they'll..." The words trailed away as I gave in to my reluctance to finish the sentence that would condemn him so coldly. I didn't want to say it aloud. The man they thought he was - that wasn't him. But I had to go, now. We couldn't waste time arguing about this. I glanced back at the village with a quickening heartbeat, and the gutted remains of a hut chose that moment to crumble in on itself in a roaring rush of blazing flames.

"They have more things to worry about than me," he said shortly, and I knew that he had heard the rest of what I had been about to say. "They need my help anyway."

Oh. That was true. Surely there were people who needed saving, and I couldn't lift fallen beams or leap into fire without hurting myself. I would end up being little more than a burden.

Why hadn't that occurred to me until now? For some reason, I only felt an overwhelming urge to be there, to get there - as if my presence alone was being called. Waking up from such a long sleep must have dulled my wits. Otherwise, I would have thought of that already instead of rushing in headlong on pure instinct.

"Then - let's go," I said, and I grabbed his wrist to tow him forward as if my paltry strength could do such a thing. But he obliged anyway without another word, and in fact, he twisted his hand in my grip so that he was the one holding onto me instead. After that, he strode forward, tugging me along as we half-trotted the rest of the short distance to the nearest structure.

"There's someone in there," I gasped, and I pointed at what must have been someone's house farther down the dirt path that was now painted with soot and ash. "Did you see that? I think he just fell -"

"A man," Ares agreed. "He didn't fall. He's digging for something. He must be trying to save his possessions."

"We have to help -"

"He shouldn't have gone back in. There are others who are trapped and need more help."

He sounded so dispassionate. Did he really mean that? I looked up at him with pleading eyes. "Ares..."

He stared at me for several seconds, then turned away. "Stay back," he said. "It'll fall at any second. Wait here for me until I bring him out"

Before I could agree, he was off, and I waited like a useless fence post hammered into the ground as I wrung my hands and craned my neck, trying to look further into the small village. We were only on the outskirts, though - I could hardly see anything past the trees and scattered huts that obscured my vision. And all the while, I thought I could feel the burning urge to keep moving, to keep going, to keep searching...

And then something else whispered to me on the wind. A hint of an angry shout, a shrieked curse. Someone was - fighting. Strange how I thought I could feel it rushing through me and under my skin rather than hearing it with my ears. I couldn't even pinpoint whether it was the voice of a man, woman, or even child. All I knew was that it was coming from somewhere deeper in the village, away from here.

It drew me, pulled at me with increasing insistence even though I knew I had to stay here. Ares had only just reached the house now and was picking up fallen wooden pieces and hurling them aside with ease. Had the wood-and-straw thatched hut fallen down on the man inside? I hadn't even noticed the noise. In fact, everything was becoming quieter suddenly. Not more peaceful, just...muffled.

The scream again, but so quiet and distant that I could barely make it out even though the rest of the world slowed down and fell quiet around me. Angry, furious. Full of scorn and terrible things.

My heart throbbed. I had to go. I had to go to it.

Drawn by a force that I did not know, my sandaled feet stepped forward. I hesitated, trying to pull away from the compulsion, from this strange power I couldn't recognize, but this was far more hypnotic than any current I had ever tried to swim against. Soon, my feet began to hit the dirt at an ever-quickening pace, carrying me further into the village. There were other huts on fire, even some crude wooden buildings that seemingly no one was trying to extinguish even though I could see precious possessions burning up and crumbling in the flames.

I didn't stop either. I had to keep going. I had to follow -

There. A flash of blue, far away. Wait, had I really seen that? I didn't even know how far away the glimmer of color had been; it was as if I'd sensed it rather than seen it. What had it been? Something flared inside me, fanning open like some kind of warning banner, but even so, the urge to chase the thing never faded. If anything, it became more urgent, more frantic, as if something was trying to tell me that if I didn't pursue it, terrible things would follow.

Was this a trick, some spell or curse meant to put me in danger? Something controlling my movements so that I reeled myself into an n insidious trap? But it wasn't. I could still - move freely, I could still turn around and leave. I almost did, too. The fear of the inexplicable compulsion driving me forward made me suspect something foul at play.

And yet I couldn't deny it in the end. Something is going to happen, a voice whispered inside me. I had to go and put a stop to it.

So I went. I turned back around and headed for what must have been the center of the village, feet scurrying forward full-tilt as if I hadn't been struggling to walk just a little while ago. There was a strength flowing through me born from fear, the fear that something terrible would happen if I didn't intervene even though I had not the slightest clue what to do. To make things worse, the growing sounds of tumult were becoming unmistakable: the sounds of murderous shouting and fighting, of people screaming in pain. What was happening? What could possibly be the source of this? Maybe some marauding band had attacked, raiders who had pillaged the belongings and were now razing the men themselves -

When I emerged into the clearing, I stumbled in horror and gasped.

Not raiders. Not raiders at all. My eyes tore across the scene that unfolded before me in the square plaza, taking in the plain clothes that everyone in the violent mob wore. Simple cotton clothes, no armor. But I did see weapons. Just a few - a hammer or two, a pitchfork, a wooden pestle - but they were being wielded by none other than simple villagers in plain tunics, most of them barefoot, even.

The villagers - they were attacking each other. For what reason, I had no idea, but I could see them punching, kicking, clawing at each other as if their homes weren't burning all around them with no one to watch, no one to put out the fires.

"Stop!" I shouted, even though I knew it was futile. I ran forward, stumbling in panic. "Stop! I said, stop!"

And yet - it wasn't futile. Something changed, and a strange rippling sensation flowed out of me. I didn't recognize it, but I had no time to question it either. As I watched with wide eyes, the men, women, and children closest to me suddenly stopped, all of them mid-swing in one way or another. There was even a dog somewhere in there, who perked its head then turned to look at me.

Whatever the reason, my powerless, helpless shouting wasn't so powerless and helpless after all. I tried again, desperately reaching for any measure that might help since I knew I had no other option. I didn't have Ares's strength to pry apart men with a single shove. I didn't have Hermes's speed to zip around and push people away from each other. But whatever this was, whatever nonsense was making it so that these mindless, crazed villagers stopped at the sound of my voice, I was going to exploit it to the fullest.

"STOP!" I shouted, pouring every ounce of my strength into the single word, and again, the rippling sensation was born again - but this time, instead of flowing like a faint stream, it poured out of me in a raging cascade that reminded me of the moment I had torn Charybdis apart back when I had been inside her. Power. Strength. Momentum, like I had coiled down and leaped into the sky with single mighty leap. I even saw it come out of me, translucent waves that radiated outward in every direction like heated metal shimmering under the sun.

And to my amazement, the villagers obeyed. I could see it, the way the rippling flow of power washed over the mob and quieted them one by one, swift and sure. Blinking, bleeding, some unable to even stand as they looked around with confused expressions - I realized then that this was not the work of mere humans.

Look, the voice whispered. Look up.

Just as I obeyed and lifted my head, someone called out to me with a jeering laugh. This voice was not in my head; this one was loud and jarring, in the physical world. I looked up at the large bronze statue that I hadn't noticed until now, a beautiful image of a woman with her joined hands reaching for the sky sitting right in the middle of the crowded plaza. There, I saw it. The flash of blue I thought I had seen earlier in the distance.

There, sitting in the cup formed by the statue's hands, was a young woman with bright blue, choppy locks framing her face in a crazy nest, cut short to her ears. They stuck out every which way as if she had rubbed them with a balloon, static-ridden and chaotic. Her eyes were strange, too, breathtakingly so. Her irises were a pure white while the sclera was a bright, flaming red, and I could see her dark, cat's eyes pupils from all the way where I stood.

She laughed again, and I sucked in a gasp at the sharp tang that breezed through the air to reach me.

"You," she called to me, legs dangling playfully off the statue's hands and feet kicking against the bronze face. "You look like fun."

"Who are you?" I demanded, unwilling to show any apprehension to her. Somehow, I was sure that she was behind all of this. "Tell me your name."

She was still mid-laugh when her entire body jerked, and I thought for an instant that she was going to slip off of her perch and plummet to the ground. I took a step forward as if I could possibly get to her in time to catch her, but she managed to right herself by clinging to the statue's fingers just in time.

I saw her narrow her eyes at me, and her cherry red lips parted with sneer.

"What was that? Some trick? What did you just to me?"

I frowned. She was the one who had done something. I didn't understand what, but all these people, all this chaos, this surely had to do with her. "Come down from there," I told her. If this was something she had caused, then I intended to make her accountable for it.

"No! I thought you were an enchantress or something, but you aren't, are you?" She got to her feet and stood on the statue's palms, one foot on each hand. "Tell me who you are."

My frown deepened. "I'm Astra," I snapped. "Your turn. Who are you, and why did you do all this?"

Again, she cringed as if my words had struck her, but this time, her mouth twitched open with straining effort as if she were trying to keep it closed. What in the world?

"My name..." she gnashed out as she glared at me, her sinister red and white eyes flashing at me in bitter fury, "...is Eris."