Colt Pov
‘He’s on a date with Colette’. Was repeating over and over again in my mind, beating in time with the blood rushing through my ears as I sped down the road, swerving around an SUV at a red light. I nearly got hit by a truck driving in the opposite lane, making me groan at myself. What was wrong with me? Why was I always so annoyed and angry at everything?
I pulled over at a little cafe and walked inside, ignoring the ogling women. I was so sick and tired of all these disgusting women thinking they could look at me like I was some piece of meat. I sat down at a table in front of the window and ordered a drink, looking out at the people walking past the cafe smiling and holding hands. Why was everyone else so happy when I felt like my heart was being ripped in two? ‘He’s on a date with Colette’. Popped into my head again, jade’s unconcerned voice as she said it so casually, as if she didn’t know how her words made me feel. Not that she would know, of course. I growled, banging my hands on the table.
“I don’t give a s**t!” I yelled, feeling the table splinter underneath my hands. The cafe grew silent and everyone looked at me, pissing me off even more. Shakily the waitress handed me my drink and I threw a few hundred dollars at her as I stomped out of the shop. Screw this, screw everything.
I sat at the table outside and drank my drink, pulling my phone out of my pocket as it vibrated. I groaned, it was from my mother. ‘Colt, don’t forget to come to the party today. It’s your fiancé’s birthday party, you must make an appearance.’ She said. I banged the phone loudly onto the table in disgust.
Fiancé? Some fiancé. I remember when I was about three and she shoved the back of my head into the mud, holding it down till I could barely breathe. Ever since then I couldn’t stand her. ‘It’s not just that, admit to it.’ A little voice floated into my head. I gripped my hands tightly. I’m not admitting to that, I’m never admitting to that.
Another text popped up on my phone and I flinched, wondering if it was Emmett. His text was the only one I actually ever was excited for. My face dropped as I saw my father texted me instead. ‘Get your butt home now. It’s the twins' eighteenth party, the future Alpha needs to be seen with the future Luna. Emmett already told us he’s out with Colette right now so they will probably be late, so you really need to get here so Jade isn’t alone.’ He said sternly.
I stood up fast, squeezing my cup and spilling the rest of my drink on the ground in the process. With a grumble I flung it into the trash can and headed to my bike, shoving my phone in my pocket. That’s the second person who said Emmett was with Colette, so it couldn’t have been one of Jade’s tricks after all. Not that Jade would even know to joke about that, she didn’t know, no one knew. How would anyone know something that I refused to accept myself?
It was disgusting, I was disgusting. I remember the first time I realized I wasn’t interested in girls. I never cared to look at other girls anyway, since I was already engaged. What was the point? But none of them seemed to get my attention anyway. As for Jade, I never saw her that way, but I thought maybe when she got older and stopped looking like a sister to me that I’d see her that way. I found out that it could never work when Jade and I were thirteen. Yes, I know, too young, gross. But we knew what everything meant and she felt the need to try and throw herself on me. I remember that night inexplicably.
It was around three in the morning and she came into my room wearing just a robe. I didn’t know what was going on but she stood there and told me she was scared I didn’t want her. I tried telling her we were too young to think this way but she insisted she knew she wanted me and she took off her robe, standing there naked in the moonlight spilling through my window. She was beautiful, I wouldn’t deny her that, but it did nothing for me. I was thirteen, a horny little teen as they say; but seeing this beautiful naked girl, her face flushed in lust and embarrassment as she stood there shyly in front of me, it did nothing for me. I remember sitting up, I was going to get up and grab her robe to wrap back around her, try to reason with her, but she would have none of it. She ran at me and put her hands on my shoulders, shoving me down and straddling me. She tried to kiss me and I put my hand over my mouth. She was getting scared and desperate and she went to touch my p***s, only to be shocked when it was soft. I remember the disappointment she held in her eyes as she got off of me, how she grabbed her robe and pulled it over her body. She was disgusted, but with herself. I tried to explain to her, but my mouth didn’t work because I didn’t understand myself why I wasn’t hard, why I didn’t want her. She folded inwards on herself, feeling ugly, and ran out the room.
I made her feel that, I made her doubt herself, and for a reason, I didn’t even know why at the time. After that, she had boyfriend after boyfriend. I wasn’t sure if it was because she wanted to make me jealous, or if it was to feel loved and wanted, because the one person who was supposed to make her feel that way shot her down when she was too young to handle the rejection.
I gripped the handlebars tighter as I raced home, swerving around a cop car that simply waved at me instead of pulling me over. It probably would have gotten me pulled over if there was someone around that I could have hit or something, but usually, they were pretty lax with the future Alpha. The cops were humans, but my father donated so much money to the departments in this town that they were practically eating out of our hands, even if they didn’t know we werewolves. They did know I was Tate’s son though, and that got me away with practically anything.
I grunted, the wind whipping through my helmet and pushing my hair from my forehead, remembering I found out pretty fast why I didn’t feel anything for Jade. A few days after that I went to Emmett’s room. I jumped down from my balcony to his as I usually always did.
The only difference was I didn’t usually use it around two in the morning. I usually went to bed pretty early, training all day with dad and school usually wore me out, but I had a nightmare that night. I can’t even remember what it was, just that I wanted to lay next to Emmett like I use to do when I had nightmares when I was a kid. It had been a few years, but I figured he’d still let me. I also thought he’d still be awake since he was always up late studying or reading. I was right, he was awake, the only thing was, he wasn’t studying or reading.
The lights were all off except for his bedside lamp. I saw his book was open and laying down on the bed, keeping his place in the book. At first, I thought he was asleep, he was usually very cynical about having books lay like that, saying it hurt the spine of the book. I cracked open the screen door silently and paused as I heard the unmistakable shuffle of bedsheets moving, along with a moan muffled by blankets pressed against his mouth. At first, I thought it was him having s*x with Colette and I nearly lost it, not even knowing why I would have cared. Did I have feelings for Colette? No, I vetoed that idea fast, it felt wrong.
I tiptoed closer to him, just enough to see the top of his head, and my breath caught in my throat. I saw his wavy light red hair moving around softly, the blanket gripped tightly in his left hand and pressed hard against his mouth. I couldn’t see his face, but I saw he held a picture in his hand. I couldn’t see what was on the picture since it was faced away from me. He let out a muffled moan again and I blushed, heat flooding through my body as I felt my heart beating faster and faster. My eyes traveled involuntarily to the middle of his bed, almost mesmerized by the tented blanket, and the motion of a hand going up and down rapidly inside it.
I should have felt repulsed. I should have felt indifferent. I should have jumped out of nowhere and yelled boo and made fun of him. Those were all normal cousin things, right? Instead, I stood there and watched, my hands gripped tightly at my sides as my body heated up. The more I listened, the more I watched, the harder I had to clench my hands. I took a hesitant step towards him, my breathing ragged as I slapped a hand over my mouth in horror. What was wrong with me? I looked down and saw my own tented pants, my hard member begging for release. Why was I hard? What was going on?
I turned around fast, keeping enough of a clear head to be silent as I walked back to the sliding door. Right as I went to close it I heard his release, his moan of happiness, and I shuddered, closing the door as I jumped back up to my own balcony.
That was the night I knew why I wasn’t interested in Jade or any girl for that matter. Because I was interested in Emmett.
I slammed the motorcycle into a stop against the sidewalk, making the warrior who waited there run backward fast in fear. I left it running and slung the helmet at him, glaring at him. He gripped it and bowed to me, his body shaking as I walked past. ‘IM NOT INTERESTED IN EMMETT!’ I screamed in my head. I growled at another warrior who opened the door for me, mistaking my anger at him as he cowered against the door.
I stomped my way up the stairs in anger, my body shaking as I slammed my door behind me. “I’m not disgusting,” I muttered, pressing my back against the door. I refused to acknowledge any sort of feelings for Emmett. Not just because he was a boy, but because he was my cousin. How disgusting could I be? To have these forbidden thoughts for my own flesh and blood? I shuddered, standing up and pacing my room before my phone vibrated again. It was another message from Jade, asking if I was at the party.
I sighed, gripping my hands tightly as I nodded. I had responsibilities, I didn’t have time to dwell on this. I couldn’t leave Jade all alone like that. No matter how annoying she was, I couldn’t just leave her alone. She was my fiancé after all. Quickly I got dressed and fixed my hair, trying to gel back the stubborn strands that hung in my right eye. Some of it stayed, only one or two strands falling down into my eye and I shrugged, accepting it.
I ended up choosing a black suit, a white dress shirt underneath, and a dark blue tie. Once I finished dressing I left my room, going down the stairs. I nearly ran into Emmett, my heart pounding in my chest as he looked at me. ‘I don’t like him, I like Jade’. Was pounding through my head, over and over again as he looked at me with an adorable flustered look, making all my thoughts evaporate.
His hair was wavy and floating around his head, and he brushed it out of his honey eyes with a small smile. “Sorry, cousin. I was trying to hurry. Looks like both of us are late.” He said sheepishly. I smirked at him, grabbing his tie and straightening it for him. He looked adorable in a black suit, meticulously ironed, and a dark red shirt underneath. He had on a black tie, but he always had trouble tying them.
I was happy to see he was alone, and instead of wanting to wait for Colette, he was wanting to go with me. Not that that mattered, of course, because I wasn’t interested in him, I refused to accept it. “Let go then, my princess is throwing a fit waiting,” I said, feeling my phone vibrate again in my pocket.
Emmett pursed his lips together, his eyes flashing sadness for a moment before he took a deep breath, smiling at me. “Yes, cousin. Can’t keep your princess waiting.” He said. My heart gripped painfully as I watched him walk ahead of me. For the millionth time today, I brushed my hair out of my eyes, not caring anymore that the gel didn’t stay. It didn’t matter, none of it did. He turned around to look at me and smiled softly. “Come on, Colt. Let’s go.” He said. I nodded, following after him.