The push and pull was maddening. Not just with Lila, but within myself. I wanted more of her. I wanted more with her, but that was an impossibility. Logically, we could never be anything more than coworkers. The problem was that logic and the will of my c**k were two entirely different forces.
Opposite ends playing tug of war while Lila sat next to me, completely oblivious of the battle she created in me. The blame for my mania rested solely on her.
Jesus. Every f*****g day was a struggle beyond any struggle I’d ever experienced. Instead of day by day getting better, I fell deeper and deeper into a storm, churning and violent, and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold on.
Lila wasn’t a victim of the storm—she was the storm.
And I hated her for it. I hated the emotions, the way my
