7. I refuse to accept that
1130 Words
SCARLETT POV
It’s been a tough two weeks. Michael went as far as parking outside of my house for hours, waiting for me to come out. Which is not only annoying, but also inconvenient. My flight to Manchester is tomorrow and I would like to go shopping in preparation. There is also a big part of me that is scared of seeing him. He was always so sweet and loving. Which means he is either really deceptive or didn’t think what he was doing was wrong. How could I have been so blind not to see what was happening in front of my eyes for an entire year? I don’t think I’ve really allowed myself to process the betrayal fully. Sadness and hurt keep trying to engulf me and I keep pushing them down to my feet. As far away from my heart as possible. I might end up needing a bigger shoe size. Phoebe was kind enough to join me today and get all of my shopping and packing done. We are in the parking lot of the shopping center with tons of bags in our hands heading for the car.
“Scar baby wait!” His voice sent chills down my spine. I hurried my steps, not daring to look back. I could hear his heavy footsteps getting closer. Phoebe gave me a concerned look and tried to keep up with me. At this point, we were speed walking to the damn car. When I felt his hands wrap around my wrist, it felt as if his touch scalded me. I turned and gave him a hard glare, quickly yanking my arm away. He had the nerve to flinch and look hurt. “Was it not clear when I blocked your calls and denied you entry into my home that I wanted nothing to do with you?” I snapped at him. He gave me a sad look laced with guilt. “Baby, I’m so sorry. Can we please go somewhere so that I can explain?” He pleaded. “How are you going to explain sleeping with my best friend for a year?” I scoffed. I could tell he was regretful, but was it because he regretted cheating on me, or being caught? Either way, there was no going back.
“Please just give me a chance to explain.” He put his hands together as if in prayer. I rolled my eyes and motioned for him to follow me to a bench that provided a little privacy. Phoebe took the bags and keys. I sat down and scooted as far away from him as possible when he tried to sit too close. I couldn’t look at him anymore. Gone was the adoration I felt in my heart, replaced with disgust. “Scar, I know nothing excuses what I did. I'm so sorry you have to find out, the way you did. Please understand that she came on to me and I gave in because I was very frustrated.” He was so full of crap. I snapped my head to look at him and scowled. “Frustrated? You didn’t express that to me.” I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just come to me if he felt that way. “I didn’t want to pressure you. I knew how much you wanted to wait for our wedding night.” Did he actually think this was going to make things better? “Thank you for thinking of me Michael. For sacrificing yourself by sleeping with my best friend. It must have been so hard for you to look me in the eye after you were with her. Not to mention how awkward it must have been for you when we were all together.” I sneered and got up and started to walk away.
I needed this conversation to be over. If he was trying to make me feel better somehow, he was failing miserably. For whatever reason, he started to follow me to my car. “That’s not what I meant, Scar. I’m sorry. I can’t live without you baby, please let me try and earn your forgiveness.” He trailed behind me the entire way to my car. When I got to the driver’s side, I turned and squared my shoulders. “There is no forgiveness for what you did Michael. You didn’t just cheat on me, no, it was much worse. You slept with my best friend for a year. All the while pretending to be a loving and devoted boyfriend. You made a fool of me. Go back to her, you deserve each other.” I spat and opened my door. He harshly pushed the car door closed, surprising me. Phoebe looked at me warily from the passenger seat. Pushing himself onto my back, he pressed me against the door. His lips pressed onto my ear, making me uncomfortable. “I refuse to accept that. We are perfect for each other and you can’t let one mistake ruin that. Kelly meant nothing to me. She was just a form of release. I won’t give up until you forgive me, Scar.” I had never heard him speak this way. His tone was cold and almost scary. That, combined with the way he was holding me captive, was too much.
This further solidified that I didn’t truly know him. I couldn’t let him intimidate me like that. I turned my body to face him, expecting him to take a few steps back. Which he did not. “You don’t have a choice.” I pushed him away with as much force as I could muster. He frowned and his jaw clenched. Never in the past had he ever looked at me in anger. I was not used to this side of him. Then again, he was very good at hiding his true colors. I quickly opened the car door and got in. He stood there watching me eerily. As I drove away, I searched my memories for any indications that he was anything like the man I'd discovered him to be. Was I that oblivious? I just didn’t see it. “Everything alright?” Phoebe asked softly. “Yes.” I sniffled and pushed back the tears. "It's okay to express your feelings, Scar, you don't always have to be the strong one." Giving her a small smile, I reached for her hand. I couldn't tell her that I feared what would happen if I allowed myself to break, even just a little. I can only imagine how bad it’s going to be when I’m no longer able to suppress my feelings. The only thing that might help is the memory of the conversation we just had. Remembering the person he really is.
- Writer
