The Bad Girl's Gentleman

= Code 19 =

The Bad Girl's Gentleman

= Code 19 =

I wait for a whole week again. It is hard to move when you don't really get in touch with your boyfriend often. Sa totoo lang, nakakawalang gana maging girlfriend ni Baz. But what I couldn't bear? Iyong may pinili siya over sa'kin.

It is so childish, I know. But I have to at least know who this woman is. Baka naman mamaya mas maganda pa ko. Psh.

I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. Paano ko ba iisahan si Basil? Ang naisip ko, huhulihin ko sila sa office. You know, maybe something fishy is going on there na hindi ko manlang alam. Doon ko lang naman sila makikita. Kapag nasa labas silang dalawa, scouting whatever, canvassing prices or whatnot of whatever they need at the stupid anniversary s**t, then I wouldn't know where they are.

Sana pala nagkaroon ako ng kaibigan na marunong mag-track ng phones. On second thought, maybe I did have a friend. A fling perhaps. An I.T.? Hmmm... but s**t. What would they do when they get their hands back on me?

Nope. Nuh-uh.

So, I have to solely relay on what I have. Stefan and Via.

"Hello? This is Veron Mikael, from Entourage Magazine. May we speak with Mr. Basil Noblerico, please?" sabi ni Stefan sa telepono. Nakatingin lang siya sa itaas na parang bored na bored habang nagsasalita ang kausap niya. Probably the polished blonde girl I met before.

"Uh-huh," pagsasalita ni Stefan. "When he comes back please tell him that I called. I'll reach him some other time. Thank you."

"Let me guess, he's outside with the biatch?" I ask.

"No, silly. He called in sick today. Might be time for the super girlfriend to give him some yakap-sule and... what's the other one called again?"

"Kiss-pirin," Via supplies.

I roll my eyes. "Duty calls, then. I'll see, you girls, later."

Wow, Gwen. Are you really going to take care of your sick boyfriend? Just wow, when did you ever do that kind of thing? Never, right?

Well, there's a first in everything.

I don't know what to get. Mayroon naman sigurong mga gamot si Baz doon, di ba?

Di ba?

Or maybe he's too sick to get his own meds?

I roll my eyes again, this time to myself. Fine, fine. I'll buy him meds. Ts.

I grab a taxi and make my way to Baz's apartment. Pumunta muna ako ng drugstore at naghanap ng mga kung anong gamot na hindi ko naman alam kung mapapainom ko ba kay Baz o ano.

Ano nga bang sakit no'n? Trangkaso? Lagnat? Ubo? Sipon?

The hell hindi ko alam.

But anyway, I got him medicine for everything. Wala namang humarang na guard sa'kin sa pagpasok ko ng lobby. As always, ang lamig-lamig sa loob pero wala masyadong tao dahil hapon pa lang.

I wait in the elevator and when it opens I step inside, smiling at the lady who stepped out. I press a floor number and wait a few seconds as the car takes me up.

I immediately see Baz when I open the door. He is a heap on his bed, not moving. Tahimik akong naglakad papunta sa kaniya at nilapag ang mga binili ko sa nightstand.

I sit beside him and push hair off his forehead. His skin burns under my palm. Bakit kahit may sakit siya at maputla ang pogi niya pa din? Tinuloy ko lang ang paghawak sa buhok niya, iniisip kung gigisingin ko ba siya o ano.

Tatayo na sana ako dahil naisipan kong maghanap ng makakain nang humawak si Baz sa kamay ko.

"I thought you left already."

"Huh?" tanong ko sa kaniya.

He cracks his eyes open. "Gwen," he groans and closes his eyes again. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard you're sick."

"I was hoping you wouldn't know."

What the f**k? What kind of answer is that?

"Right, 'cause I'm not really worrying about you," I say. I pull my hand away from him. I'm going to leave. Anong akala niya?

"Babe," he says and grabs my hand.

"No!"

But instead of letting me go, he pulls me with what strength he has that moment to sit back down his bed. He has an arm around my waist, hugging me and his head on my stomach. "Stay here."

"You don't want me to stay here."

"I do, babe. Please."

"No. Let me go."

His hold on me only tightens. "I've been grumpy since morning. Please don't leave."

I don't say anything.

"Stay here with me, baby."

"Fine," I huff. Nakukuha naman ako sa madaking usapan eh. "But let me go please. Umayos ka ng higa. And go back to sleep."

Sumunod naman siya sa'kin at pinatong nang muli ang ulo niya sa unan. "You're not going to leave, right?" he asks.

Kahit gustong-gusto ko siyang iwanan? No, I won't. "Have you taken your meds?"

"I just took them."

I nod at him. "Go to sleep."

"Don't leave."

"I won't, Baz. Gee."

He nods and pulls at my hand. "Lie down."

Sumunod naman ako sa gusto niya. Pumikit na din siya, mukhang nakuntento na na hawak niya ang kamay ko. Psh, nako Baz ha, hindi ako natutuwa dito sa mga pinaggagawa mo. Kung wala ka lang sakit malamang nag-aaway na naman na tayo niyan.

Don't leave, my a*s. Wag ako. Alam kong naglolokohan lang tayo pero wag mong paandarin 'yang pagpapa-cute mo sa'kin. Hindi kasi effective.

Hindi talaga.

I don't know what he expects me to do. Ano, papanoorin ko lang ba siyang matulog? Pumunta ako dito para alagaan siya tapos sasabihin niya sa'king ayaw niya na malaman ko na may sakit siya? Tapos ngayon nakatunganga lang ako? Ts.

Iwanan ko kaya talaga siya?

Kaya mo bang iwanan ang may sakit mong boyfriend? Can you be really that cruel, Gwen?

Oh, yes. You know I can do worse.

But you won't really leave him.

Baz can take care of himself. He's old for Christ's sake. Kaya naman niya sigurong alagaan ang sarili niya? Gaano na ba siya katagal naninirahang mag-isa?

Hindi mo alam.

Hindi naman niya kasi sinasabi.

Hindi ka kasi nagtatanong.

Hindi ko kailangang tanungin 'yung mga ganoong bagay.

Bago pa matuloy ang pakikipagtalo ko sa aking sarili, biglang gumalaw ang mga labi ni Baz. Then he says, "Ma..."

Wala akong naintindihan sa sinabi niya. Maigsi lang iyon. I pull myself upwards and put my ear near his lips.

"What's that?"

Then he says it again. It is a mixture of unknown syllables. I don't understand what he said. I think it's in Spanish. Or maybe it's Greek? Latin, perhaps?

What the hell naman kasi...

Baka naman Arabic pala.

Ano bang alam na lengguahe nito ni Baz? Siguro Spanish? Tía tawag niya sa tita niya. Spanish 'yun, di ba? Yeah, maybe Spanish nga.

Sana pala kumuha na ko ng Spanish class this sem. Sana manlang naintindihan ko kung ano 'yung sinabi niya.

I lie back down. Ano kayang sinabi niya?

Maybe he's dreaming or something. I remember that I used to sleep talk a lot. They say that I used to call Kuya Archie telling him to come and play with me.

I close my eyes but I don't remember sleeping. But when I open my eyes, Baz is already staring at me and it is dark outside his apartment. "Hey," I say to him as I slightly stretch.

"You know you're not supposed to sleep when you're watching over someone who is sick," he smiles.

I roll my eyes at him. "You don't look that sick."

"In the end it is me who's watching over you," he grins and flips to his back. He stares at the moon outside. There is silence before he says, "I miss my mom."

"Call her. Tell her you need her here."

Baz chuckles and laces his fingers through mine. "I would."

"But...? You're too old to need her?"

"Oh, babe," he chuckles once more then flips to his side to face me. He touches my cheek and his smile falters a little before he says, "She's gone."

I hold on his hand with my other. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that she's no longer with us."

A punch through my chest. "Wha—oh my God, I'm sorry."

He smiles again, sadly. "I'm sorry too, babe."

"H-how did it happen?"

"A car accident. Took my dad too."

"What?! Oh my God, I'm so sorry." Hindi ko na napigilan at bumangon ako para yakapin siya. I squeeze him like I never squeezed him before. I have both of my parents and I honestly cannot imagine losing either of them. I'd probably cry a river, an ocean for both of them.

Baz chuckles once more on my ear and pats my shoulders, his other hand hugging me back tightly. "It's okay, baby. That was years ago."

"Years? How many years?"

"I was eight when they died."

"You were so young!"

"It's fine," he says and pulls me by my shoulder so I'd raise myself a little and see his face. He caresses my cheek. His face is a little cheerful but of course you an see the sadness in his eyes. "Don't be sad."

"But it's sad. It must have been so lonely."

"Yeah, I was lonely. But I had Tía and my cousins. We had each other."

Hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa din alam kung anong sasabihin. I know broken families but I have never met anyone who has lost both parents at such a young age.

"Cheer up, baby," he smiles.

I shake my head at him. "Is it okay if you talk about them?"

"Sure. I'd love to talk about them." This time when he smiles, his dimple shows up. I almost forget its existence.

"What was she like?"

"My mom? Well, for one, she wasn't able to get a wink of sleep when I'm sick."

"Ah okay," I roll my eyes at him. "Nakuha mo pang magbiro ha."

He laughs. "I'm kidding. But it's true. When I'm sick she stays up all night in my room until I'm not sick anymore. Who would want their handsome kid in pain, right?"

"Handsome, pft. You're good looking, Baz. But you're not that good looking."

"Oh? Is that so?" he asks with his forehead creased. Sinasakyan niya lang naman ang mga biro ko. "That's the first time I heard that."

I slap his chest. "Hoy, lumalaki na 'yang ulo mo ha?"

"It's not called boasting when it's the truth."

I laugh. "Yabang! Isusumbong kita sa Etiquette professor mo." I slide my thumb on his cheekbone where his eyelashes shadows. God, he's beautiful. "Okay, I gotta admit, you're one of the most handsome guys I've seen in my seventeen years."

He snorts. "Gwen, you don't have to be shy to admit that I am the most handsome of all the guys you've met and will ever meet in your life."

Pinisil ko ang dalawa niyang pisngi pero hindi ganoon kadiin para masaktan siya. "Ang cute mo talaga, no?"

"I know, babe."

"So, what else? What else does your mom do?"

"Well, when I'm sick she makes sure that I've already ate."

Kanina pa nagpaparinig ko, kukutusan ko na 'to eh. "Are you hungry?"

"Nope. Not really but I have to drink medicine."

Pumunta kaming dalawa sa kusina at iniit ni Baz ang kung anong nasa kalan. He serves me a bowl of soup and he starts spooning his in front of me.

"This is really good. Did you cook this?" I ask.

"No."

"Was Cynthia here?"

He shakes his head.

"Then who cooked this?"

"My friend."

"A friend?" I drop my spoon. Busog na pala ko. I thought you left already. Ah, so 'yun pala 'yung sinabi niya kanina. What the f**k? Was she touching Baz? My Baz? Wow. "And who this friend might be?"

"The one I was telling you about last time."

Naramdaman kong kusang napataas ang kilay ko. "I didn't know you were that close that you'd invite her in your home."

"Babe," he sighs tiredly. "I told you that's an old friend."

"Old like literally old, or..."

"Both. She's older than me and she lived in front of the ranch back in Westville. We were playmates."

"A playmate?!"

"Babe, please, not tonight," he says and brings his empty bowl to the sink.

"What the hell are you doing with your old playmate now?" I ask, following him to as he makes his way to the bathroom. At oo susundan ko talaga siya hanggang do'n. Just what the hell does he think he's playing at?

"She's a colleague. It's business stuff."

"Business stuff?" sumandal ako sa may pintuan at pinanood siya sa salamin habang nagsesepilyo. "Akala ko ba tinutulungan ka niyang magplano for the anniversary."

"Yeah, she is," he says through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"And you couldn't have chosen any other person to help you with that? I don't know how serious we are Baz but you have to at least consider your girlfriend in the decisions you make. What I know is that work and your personal life are two different things. But it seems like you, yourself, brought these two things together."

He finishes himself first and walks past me on the doorframe before answering. "I know. She was the chosen one—"

"The chosen one?! What the f**k are you talking about, Basil?! Like s**t, one more half-a*s answer out of your mouth I swear I'll end thi—"

"Will you just let me finish first?"

I don't answer.

"The sponsor chose her to help me arrange this celebration, okay? I didn't choose this."

"I thought she's the sponsor?"

"It's complicated," he says and pops some pills in his mouth before drinking some water.

I put my hands up. "Okay, I give up. I don't want to talk about this."

"What?"

I grab my bag on the nightstand. "I'm leaving."

"Gwen, don't do that."

"Hell yes, I am."

"Stay."

"I'm not a dog, Baz."

"It's late, Gwen."

"Who cares?" I make my way towards the door.

"We're not even done talking!"

"Yes, we are. Feel better. And maybe we'll talk."

I step out his door and walk to the elevator. I hear the door click shut behind me. If he comes after me, then maybe we'll talk. If he doesn't... screw him.

Pumasok na ko sa loob ng elevator.

He's not coming.

That's it.

To: Stefan

You busy? Can u grab a bottle of vodka for me? Whiskey? Or some brandy? Whatever. It doesn't matter as long as it'll give me the strength I need.

To: Stefan

I'm breaking up with Baz.