Aatma

Ashes

In a village there lived a  young woman named Ramma with a small daughter. She was a widow , she had a small cottage and a piece of land ,in which she grew vegetables which was sufficient for their survival. She also worked in the village temple sometimes and would get some money. In the night after finishing her daily chores she would dress up like a bride and sit  front of her deity  and talk to him as if she would talk to her lover, she would sing song in praise of him, she would wear a red saree ( a piece of clothing worn by Indian women )left  her hair and dance in front of the deity she would be so engrossed in this act she would neglect her child at that time, it was purely her time with her deity. In the end of the dance she would faint .This was the daily practice .The small girl would be very petrified, she would pretend to be asleep , as her mother looked very weird and scary.

When the child was 8 years old the local school where she used to go to study closed down so the village Head advised Ramma to admit her child to another school in a town where there was a facility of a hostel for underprivileged  students . The child was more than happy to be staying away from the mother ,though she loved her mother she was petrified of the rituals she used to do in the night. Now with the child in the hostel Ramma had more time to get involved with her weird activities.  She used to sing song while working in her piece of land she would sing song in the praise of rain ( oh rain fall down is such a way my soul get flown in the rain water ,oh beautiful dark clouds collide with each other let my heart get stuck with lightning so that i can be one with my lover let the thunder make so much noise that when i cry with joy seeing my lover no one can hear me oh the rains come and sweep me off my feet take me to the land of joy…) 

The people who happen to see her dancing and singing though she was away from her child and had lost her husband did not like it. They started spreading rumors about her ,some started calling her a witch.  They even spread rumors about her being a loose character; she entertains men as now she is free from her daughter.The villagers decided to complain to the head of the village. In India in some places people still look down upon women who are widows and are trying to live a normal life ,they are supposed to live a life abstaining from good food and clothes. Their head  is also shaved off they are not supposed to have hair and talk to men .The villagers go and meet the head of the village all the village people come and sit in front of the village head the head who is a respected and a rich person listens to all and then tells the villagers that as there is no proof that she has harmed anybody she has every right to stay in the village.

As year passed by Rmma ‘s activity was only inside her four walls she used to visit her daughter every  month spend few days with her and then come back .her child was good in studies so she got support from the school administration and always got recommendation for monetary help for further studies she got admission in good schools and seeing her interest in education she was encourages and sponsored  by the education department for underprivileged children.Many years went by Ramma had lost her youth and was living a very disinterested life but her love for her deity continued she had reduced her visit to her daughter as her daughter had become more busy and moving to different city for higher education so Ramma could not meet her. This also created a distance between the mother and daughter the daughter, the daughter who had become used to good life staying in a city getting educated had become ambitious and did not want to own her uneducated old mother. So the distance created by staying in a far off city also created distance in their heart. 

Though Ramma was yearning to have her daughter with her as she felt very lonely now she did not get the love from her daughter. Ramma lost hope completely when she came to know that her daughter got married to a rich business man in the city ,and did not bother to invite her.she knew this was her daughters way of telling her she has severed all ties with her...Ramma now started pinning for her daughter she used to sing song for her daughter .(You are my moon, you are my sun, you are the apple of my eyes. I lived my life just seeing you,playing around me and in the garden you are my only support in this long lonely life …….).

Years pass by, Ramma had grown old she would sometimes go out in the night and call out to her daughter ,people now started getting scared of the  night they could hear the howling of a old lady in the night crying out for her daughter they were scared to come out they did not know from where she came it happened only in the night at a particular time they could hear the screams of a old lady crying out for her child sometimes they could hear singing a lullaby near houses where there were small children all sorts of stories were now going around not in one village but in neighbouring villages also  no one knew who was the lady as Ramma never went out in the day she used to work in her land by day eat what she grew and roamed the street in the night singing song.

( wherever you are wherever you will be my shadow will always be with you i will be near you to wipe your tears i will be near you when you’re alone and you think of me and cry i will be there to wipe your tears i will not be seen but i will always be near you……) This song used to send shivers in the people’s life they used to dread the night all windows and doors used to be closed by 8 pm no one used to be seen on the streets they did not know when the song could be heard near their house

Days went by and years .Ramma ‘s daughter had a beautiful life. She had a grown up son aged 24. He was interested in knowing his mothers background as he was a writer and was always in search of stories he wrote about women success.stories their struggles ,this time he wanted to know about his mother’s childhood struggle and when he heard the story about his granny he was more interested to know about her. He wanted to visit his native place his mother had long forgotten that place her mother she had not bothered to see whether she was alive or dead ,but the son was more interested as he will get two stories one of his grandmother and his mother’s he was very excited he somehow convinced his mother to give him  her address he promised to be back in twenty days ,his mother ultimately not before  warning him about the weird ways of her mother. 

He packs his bag and takes few gifts for his granny and with lots of joy  and excitement of a new story and meeting his granny he takes his car as he does not want to miss the village side scenery very happily he drives for two days he stops only to sleep in the night and some times to have meal otherwise he driver nonstop . At last he reaches the place he keeps asking his mother  for land mark though she has only few faded memory of that place she had left it when she was 8 years old the place had changed somehow he reaches the place when he asks for Ramma nobody knows about her,he finds the house by himself it is an old cottage the gate was still strong but the windows needed repair the land around the cottage looked full of flowers and green vegetables growing the Jamun tree was full of ripe fruits (Jamun is a local fruit found abundantly all over the country. it is a purples pium type fruit sweet when you eat the mouth also becomes purple) Ramma’s grandson, Anil was so shocked to see such a well kept garden he was not expecting such a beautiful  sight he immediately took his camera and started recording the place.

 He could not contact his mother as the cottage was in the interior and had no network facility .’Anil opens the gate of the yard his heart is pounding with lot of immotion how his granny will react he was getting cold feet as well as the excitement to see his own blood his granny .he knocks at the door .he asks if there is anybody inside he does not get a response ,he goes around the cottage and is floored to see the well kept vegetable garden he marvels at his granny’s strength at this age. he tries to peek inside the window, when he tries to open the window which looks little ajar he his hand is held tightly from inside he screams he is petrified and tries to loosen the grip , then he hears a roaring laughter of a old lady with grey hair a torn saree toothless and very deep sunken  hollow eyes lots of wrinkles on her body looking directly at his eyes.

She asks him who he is and how dare he enter her cottage , did he come with the intention of killing her and taking away her land. He tells her that if only she let go his  hand  he can talk to her and explain ,she agrees .she tells him to come in the front side of the house where there is a small block of stone he goes and sits there she comes out of her house with  stick she has lots of burn marks on her hand and scars too on the feet he realizes staying alone and taking care of the daily needs has taken toll on her.his camera is again capturing everything he does not want to miss the entry of his granny the first look the first word everything he wants to capture.when she comes and sits next to him he can smell the burnt flesh type smell coming from her body , he tries to move away from her.

She notices him doing that and chuckles and looks at him she says this smell protects her from people who come with the intention of hurting her.He feels very sad for his granny and feels his mother was responsible for whatever the old lady is going through he wants to compensate for all that his mother did not do for the She tells him if he has had enough of the rotten smell he can tell her who he is and why did he dare to come in as she does not entertain people. 

He puts his hand in his wallet and takes a photo of his mother when she was small and holds it in front of her eyes she sees it for long hen looks at him again she see it and gives out a deadly laugh Anil is so scared he gets up in fright ,she hold his hand and pulls him down next to him and whispers in his ears from where did you get this devil’s photo she says this small girl was a devil she sucked my blood and threw me out of her life.Anil is now little worried whether to tell her about his identity but then she pulls him very near to her he cannot bear the smell coming from her she inspects him and then asks him are you that bitches son. Anil is struggling to answer as by now he is too scared of her and it is becoming dark he just wants to run and sit in his car she looks at him and then pets his face lovingly and tells him he need not be scared of her as she always knew one day her grandchild will come and take her with him she has all these years waited for this moment when her own blood her grand child comes and takes her from this hell. 

Anil feels pity he relaxes a bit and touches her feet which are unkempt. He wants to hug her but decides not to hold his hand tightly and gestures to him to follow in as it is going to be night and she sleeps early she needs to cook something for him. He goes in with the camera on and shaking she sees the camera and again chuckles her toothless  face shines. She tells him to take a wash and change till she gives him hot porridge .He goes to the washroom takes water from a bucket and our the whole bucket on his head then he wipes and changes and comes out he can not see the interior of the house in that oil lamp which his granny had lit she brings the bowl of hot porridge and he eats it fast as he is very hungry she laughs and says he resembles a dog who has got food after many days he smiles at her and thanks her she signals her to sleep on a cot he slides on it as he is very tired and right now only one thought was in his mind that was  sleep.

In the morning he woke up to the sound of water boiling and granny muttering .suddenly he realised where he is and got up with a jolt his granny brought a mug of tea towards him he thanked her and asked her also to drink she said she does not have the habit of drinking in the morning she has meals and drinks only once a day. Anil shows her all the gifts he had bought for her and all the photos of his childhood she feels very happy they start talking he asks her many questions he records her he also gives her bath and makes her wear the new saree now the granny smells and looks presentable to him he is happy to see granny is enjoying his company she shows him how she saves the seeds of vegetables and fruits how she dries them and again use them for growing fresh vegetables and why she does not go and mix with people outside ass all those who knew are dead or have gone with their children to cities there is only a temple priest whom she knew from her young age is still staying in the temple but she has not gone to the temple as she feels very tired after all the housework.

 Anil asks her how and why she never thought of going and staying with her daughter she says her daughter ever wanted her in her life so Anil says what if now his mother is ok if she comes and stays with them .She says she always knew her grandson will come but now she is so happy to see him and getting to spend so much time with him she has forgiven her daughter she would like him to go and bring his mother and then take her from here as this house is so dear to her and his mother she needs to come and sees the house and say a final goodbye the they can give this house to the priest grandchild and she will go with them Anil is very thrilled to hear his granny agreeing to shift with him .

Next day Anil packs off his bags gives a big hug kisses her and tells her it will take him a week to go and again come back with his mother to pick her up,so she can wind up her things slowly and when he comes with his mother he will take her first to the temple and give the cottage papers to the priest grandson and then leave she hugs him tightly and tears flow down her cheeks she looks at him lovingly and bids him goodbye .he walks toward his car wanting to speed away fast and bring back his mother .He sits in the car reverses it and gives one look at his grandma she waves out to him and sends a flying kiss ,he smiles at her and drives off.After two days Anil reaches his house he through his bags rushes to the washroom freshen up and his mother is all the time waiting for him to talk about his visit and what was his experience with her mother .He tells her everything from start .

He tells her granny has forgiven her and wants to come and stay with them but before that she wants her to go and see the house one last time and then give away the cottage with the piece of land to the priest grandson and then bring her home.The mother cries for all the  while neglecting her mother she wants to repent she wants her son to take her there as early as possible.Anil tells her to relax he will take her as he has promised granny to be ready in a week they will go ,but now he wanted to see all the photos he had clicked and the videos he wanted to post in his instagram.when he starts to see there is only his cars photo .there is no photo of the beautiful cottage with the garden he is shocked how can this be he had clicked so many selfies with granny but in every photo it;s only him and there is no one next to him he goes mad his mother shouts at him for not checking the camera he is sad that all those precious moments he clicked with his granny is lost now how will he create her first laugh her smile.

He curses himself for not checking his camera but he is also confused how his pics are there and only the cottage and his granny’s photos are blurred. He is seen everywhere but the surrounding cottage and not a single photo of his granny. He throws a glass infrustration how can it happen he tells his mother next day they will visit the place and bring granny without losing any more days Next day early morning he and his mother again travel to that village it takes them two days but when he reaches the place there  is no cottage no garden he jumps out of the car and bangs the door in disbelief.