TAMING KADEN

8. Feelings

CHAPTER EIGHT

“That is what I’m saying,” I said before adding,” Leaving you like that with no text, no notice and cutting off communication with you has been haunting me for years and so when I finally saw an opportunity to make everything right, I took it,”

She regarded me for several seconds and slowly anger took over the sea green in her eyes, her jaw slowly ticking. That was not a good look on her and I knew in an instant hell was about to rain down on me. Well, whatever was to come I kind of deserved it. I should never have left like that but back then I had convinced myself that it was for the best.

“An opportunity? I was finally doing okay and you just chose to burst into my life without a warning and for what? Because this pleasure island is certainly not a way of making up for how you turned my life upside down Kaden.  After you, I could not trust men again or my ability to be with another man. I thought all my choices would automatically subject me to hurt. What exactly were you even hoping to achieve with all these pleasure games or whatever they are?” she shook her head, her voice sounding more of hurt than angry.

“I thought making you have an amazing, unforgetful night would somewhat get us off on a good start. Many times I’ve tried to get the courage to approach you but I always grow afraid of your reaction. Please don’t make this any hard for me,” I pleaded. I did not want her to hate me because I knew that would push me right into depression.

“Hard for you? For eight years you’ve had me questioning myself, wondering was it my fault you left at a time when I needed my best friend the most. I wondered if I’m the reason our friendship came to an end. But you know what was the worst part? I wondered if I had become another easy conquest under your belt like all those girls you used to flatter around,” her voice had grown small and shaky with hurt, her lashes trembling.

“s**t! I’m sorry. You were never one of my conquests. You, Jazz,” I paused, sandwiching her face between my palms,” was always that one person that I treasured the most. What happened between us was special to me and I wish I could go back in time and tell you that,”

“So what? That is supposed to make me feel better?” she pushed my hands away as she added,” I need a drink,”

“Look, I’d understand if you want me gone right now,” That was a total lie. Maybe I would understand that she was mad about me leaving but I would not be okay with her not wanting me around. I was here to make everything right and have her as mine.

“You are not leaving just yet Kaden. I need answers and probably a strong drink,” she led the way out, my eyes briefly drawn to the way her ass cheeks bounced lightly when she walked out towards the pole room.

“Wait here,” she instructed before going in.

JASMINE’S POV

The moment I was inside and the door locked behind me, I let out a shaky breath, feeling as though someone had awoken that hurt inside of me. Those nights I’d spent crying myself to sleep and feeling stupid over my naivety had plummeted right into core of my heart and mind. Deep down, I knew maybe it was time for closure so I can finally move on, probably open my heart eventually for love. I stepped back into my clothes, grabbed my purse, wore my shoes then released a deep breath before walking out and making sure my face wore a neutral expression.

He led me to another spacious lavish room complete with a bar section and about ten other well-known playboy celebrities who all had beautiful women patched up on their arms. Soft, party music played in the background, club lights flashing all around us. After nodding off to three of them, we took a spot at the far end of the counter, one of the three bartenders rushing already towards us. Damn! This was really premium service and I was here for it. Maybe Lucy was right. I could have fun here and after tonight, I’d probably be finally moving on from this asshole. After the first round of drinks, I was feeling a tipsy enough to finally talk.

“Why?” I questioned softly, before raising my gaze to meet his,” Why did you hurt me on purpose Kaden?”

“f**k! It was not on purpose, Jazz. I have to admit that maybe I was f*****g stupid back then walking away like that but I was f*****g sacred,” he answered.

“Scared? So what? Someone blackmailed you?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Of course not,” he ran a hand through his hair,” Look, you and I had known each other for so long. I watched you grow from the scrawny looking kid into this beautiful teenager trying to hide behind her nerdish nature. I did not know when I started falling for you but the one thing I’m sure is that it all started with your smile. You were so insecure about it but watching you smile, always made my days feel less f****d up. Each day, something about you would make me happy. You were something else and I knew that, so I kept all these strange feelings to myself. You believed in me way before anyone did and if it wasn’t for you, I would never have sent that demo to that record label in Atlanta. A few days before that party night, I had come to realize that what I felt for you was deep and so when I got a contract from the recording label, I knew I had to leave because I was not ready to accept I had feelings for my best friend. That night at that party, I was going to tell you but we were both tipsy and you gave me a f*****g lap dance. I wanted to blame it on the alcohol but I think I knew what I was doing when I f*****g kissed you. I should have stopped it at that but I was a slave to my feelings for you and so I f****d you. When I woke up the following morning, that’s when it all hit me what I’d done. I could not forgive myself for taking your virginity and so like the coward I was, I left without a word while you were sleeping,”

“Feelings?” I whispered.

“Yes, Jazz. I have feelings for you. I always have,” he said.

Standing up, I took my full glass, emptying it on him,” That’s not what you do to someone you’ve got feelings for. Stop being a f*****g liar for once Kaden!”

I blindly rushed out, making my way to the elevator. He wanted me to believe that he hurt me because he had feeling for me? Well, f**k him. I found myself down at the main bar of the club and I would have walked straight to the bar counter but I saw Adonis. When he noticed me, he began making his way towards me and in a moment of a desperation, I turned to the first man sitting on the right side of the bar counter near me, planting my lips against his.