Chapter 3- Decisions
928 Words
Holy hell,what the hell have you done?" Sydney shrieked staring open mouthed at the mess on the floor of my room.
"I...uh," I could just stare at her.
What possible excuse could I give anyway?
"And you have been crying!" She exclaimed again.
"I...I just fell asleep," I muttered.
"Stop lying okay, sleeping doesn't gives you red trimmed or swollen eyes," She admonished.
I pursed my lips, choosing not to argue. It was pointless lying to her anyway.
"Okay,here's a deal, I clean this mess up while you get a quick shower and then over a cup of coffee I need all the truth okay?" She asked,raising a brow.
God she was so persistent!
"Okay," I agreed,and gingerly headed towards the bathroom. A hot shower won't hurt I presumed.
"What the f*****g hell are you saying? Did he said that to you?" Sid shouted, glaring at me. I nodded.
"What the hell were you thinking Ella? Why did you agreed to meet him?" She inquired. "I mean you know how he feels yet!"
"I...I...just thought," I stuttered,feeling tears trickle at the back of my eyes.
The memory was so painful. Why do we need to have this conversation Sid?
"You thought?You thought what El? You thought that after kissing that b***h of a woman last night,he called you today to tell that he loves you? Was it what you were thinking?" She grimaced.
I blinked at her. She has a point!
"Oh for God's sake Ella miller get some brains,will you? Stop obsessing about Jacob,he's absolutely not the guy for you!" She said coldly.
Her words were like daggers piercing through my heart. Truth always hurts doesn't it. Although she was right,I guess she was a bit violent in her manners, and it was infuriating.
"What would you know?" I shouted,catching her off guard."What would you know? Have you ever loved anyone? Do you know how it feels to be rejected? Do you know how I have spent nights after nights crying. To talk to him...to feel him. How would you know this when you have never fallen in love!" I finished,wiping the tears streaming down my cheeks.
Why do I cry so much?
Sydney stared at me open mouthed. Okay,I have crossed my line I guess.
"I am sorry honey," She muttered,looking seriously very upset.
"I...I just didn't mean to say it like that," She walked towards me and placed her arms around me. Her warm embrace was so satisfying yet so overwhelming. I began to sob in her arms incoherently.
"El,please don't cry,I am sorry," She repeated.
"I-am.....not -angry-at you," I said in between sobs.
"Ella,you need to get a grip,you can't keep crying for your whole life just for that person who doesn't gives a damn about you.You have to let it go,sweetheart,"
"I don't know what to do Sid," I whispered, clutching her T-shirt for some sort of security maybe. Everything around feelt so suffocating that I have no idea,where was the safe ground.
"I hate him Sid,I just hate him. Why did he do this,why?"
"'Cause some people aren't meant to be in your life Ella,and Jacob is just one of them. Your choice was to love him. His was to love Alexis. You can't force feelings on him,"She answered. "Look,here's what you need to do, just get a short break from everything. A little time away from everything, and then see you will be fine,"
"A break?" I whispered.
"Yes honey,"
I stared at the still water of the pool. The fresh summer breeze was refreshing, though I could hardly feel that. I could feel nothing to be honest.
"There,everything's cleared up. All clean,let's go to bed,shall we?" Sydney said climbing under the sheets.
I stared outside,not replying her.
"Ella? What's wrong?" She called a few minutes later.
"I have made a decision," I said firmly turning at her.
"Decision?" She asked
"Yes,"I nodded
"What decision?" She demanded.
"I am taking a break Sid,a break from everything. A long break," I answered.
"Really? That's great. Where are you planning to go?" She asked "And when do you plan to return?"
"London," I replied.
"London?" She repeated surprised.
"Yes,London," I nodded.
"So when you're heading to London?" She inquired looking excited.
"Soon," I replied.
"Okay and when will your break be over? I mean when will you return?" She asked.
I sighed. So time for that big revelation.
"Never," I whispered.
I watched her whole stance change from excitement to surprise to utter horror.
"What?" She whispered.
"Yes,"
"Wh....why?"
"Because I want to get away from everything Sid, from this town, from Jacob,from all the heartbreak, pain everything,"I said. "Do something about my life,"
"But... That means you will go away from me too Ella.What will I do without you?" She whispered.
"You will never be away from me Sid,you're always with me. Do you want me to go on with this suffering?" I whispered.
I stared at her...she stared at me. I could see tears glistening in her eyes. I turned away and stared at the pool again. I don't want to cry again. I stared with bated breath for what she has to say.
"Okay," She whispered after a while."If that's what is good for you,then you should go. I won't stop you Ella. Go get a life,I will be with you in all your decisions,"
I quickly turned to her. Although her eyes were watering, she was smiling. A bright angelic best friend smile.
"Really?" I asked.
"Yes," She nodded.
"Oh Sid, what would I had done without you?" I cried. I rushed to her and embraced her in a tight hug.
"I love you El," She whispered. "And I will always be there for you,"
"I love you million Sid" I replied. "And I know,right!"
"So when do you leave?" Sydney asked. We both were staring aimlessly at the dark ceiling of the room.
"Soon," I answered.
As soon as I could....
- Writer
