Second to the Luna

Chapter 4 - Mistakes Mates Makes

ETHAN

The sun had already set by the time I made it back to the pack house. The rogue attack, dealing with the prisoners, and then making sure the borders were secured took longer than I had anticipated.

I was sure Juniper was upset with me after our conversation earlier. I had planned to talk to her sooner, so she didn’t feel like I had brushed her off. I just hoped she’d understand.

No, I knew she’d understand. She was amazing that way. She knew I had to prioritize keeping the pack safe, and she always tried to support me, even when she was frustrated with me. Like today. She could have thrown a fit when I told her no, but she held back, allowing me to rush to the aid of the Moon Warriors.

Even when she held back from saying what she wanted to, I still felt her frustration through our bond. I knew she was resentful when we parted ways this morning, and I hated that I hadn't been able to talk to her sooner to clear the air. My wolf was always uneasy when he knew our mate was upset, especially when it was my fault.

I started heading towards the stairs, hoping I’d find Juniper in her room.

“I wouldn’t go up there empty-handed,” Kalli said, emerging from the kitchen.

I was halfway up the stairs when her voice made me pause. I looked down at my luna, who was in the middle of chewing on a granola bar.

“And why is that?” I asked, taking a few steps back down to face her.

“You were a jerk today,” Kalli said, already knowing exactly who I was looking for.

“She told you?” If Juniper was talking to Kalli about it, there was a chance I messed up worse than I thought.

“I had to pry it out of her, but it wasn’t that hard. You treated her like a helpless child,” Kalli said. She leaned against the back of the couch set up in the living room. Many pack members, especially teenagers, hung out in the living room during the day.

“She is a child in the terms of a warrior,” I said. While I knew Juniper was upset, I still stood by my decision to not let her come help with the rogue attack, especially seeing how aggressive the rogues were. If veteran warriors were injured in the fight, I didn’t want to think about what could have happened to my mate.

“She’s made a lot of progress,” Kalli said. “Incredible progress, actually. It took me years to pull off some of the moves Juniper can do. She’s still clumsy with them, and the training hasn’t turned into muscle memory yet, but her raw power is amazing.”

“I know it is.” I already knew everything Kalli was saying. I was proud of my mate for improving so quickly.

“Does she know that you know that?” Kalli raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

“I praised her yesterday.”

“And today you told her she was years behind and treated her like someone who couldn’t fight,” Kalli pointed out.

“She wasn’t ready to handle a rogue attack, even with the progress she’s made.” My chest tightened, knowing whether or not that was true didn’t change how my mate felt.

“I agree, but you have to give her some leeway. I know you want to protect her after everything you and her have been through, but you can’t keep her locked away forever. You’ll end up suffocating her that way.” Kalli popped the last piece of the granola bar into her mouth.

I knew my luna was correct. It was something I had to come to terms with. Juniper was working hard every day to get stronger because she wanted to be able to protect herself and those she cared about. It was my job as her mate to support her—not hold her back because of my insecurities.

“Thanks for the advice, Kalli,” I said, leaning on the railing as I thought about how I could make it up to Juniper.

“That’s what I’m here for.” She stood up and smiled. “There is a reason Juniper is improving unnaturally fast. It’s not actually all that unnatural for alphas to improve faster than other werewolves, and Juniper does have alpha blood.”

“I’ve thought about that,” I said. Even though the former Alpha Williams was Juniper’s biological father, he wasn’t the man she considered to be her father. Elijah had never been a part of her life growing up. They mended their relationship, so there wasn’t any hate from Juniper, but the former alpha still wasn’t her father in her eyes. However, there was no denying that her raw strength came from his bloodline.

“She could always talk about it with Winston if she has any questions,” Kalli said. This wasn’t the first time Kalli had made a comment along those lines.

“Stop trying to force a relationship to develop between those two,” I said. Kalli liked to play puppet master when she thought it would benefit those around her. Her intentions were always good, but sometimes she pushed too hard.

“Someone has to. Have you seen the two of them in a room alone? It’s uncomfortable. They’ve had enough time to try to figure it out on their own, and neither of them is even trying.” Kalli pouted. “How wonderful would it be if they developed their sibling bond. Then Juniper could have a family. Winston could have a family member who hasn’t betrayed his trust on some deep level.”

“It’ll happen with time. They just have to find something to bond over,” I said. I knew Juniper struggled with coming to terms that her mother cheated on the man she thought was her father and then lied to her about the truth for her entire life. Winston only seemed to remind her of the lies of her past, and I didn’t want to push her to build a bond with her half-brother if she didn’t want to.

“That’s it! You’re a genius.” Kalli started walking away.

I frowned, knowing Kalli was going to stick her nose where it didn’t belong. “You can’t force it!” I shouted after my luna.

“Bring Juniper food,” Kalli said in return, completely ignoring my comment. “Your mate hasn’t eaten dinner, so I’m sure she’s a little extra cranky. Plus, I kind of abandoned her, leaving her with extra work. So, good luck.”

I rolled my eyes as Kalli disappeared to work on her plan, leaving me the freedom to talk to Juniper and hopefully beg for her forgiveness.

***

JUNIPER

Nathan lifted me onto my desk. I leaned back, and my hand pressed against a pile of papers, nearly knocking it down in the process.

“Careful,” I muttered into his mouth. “I spent most of my day organizing that.”

Nathan chuckled against my mouth, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. “Only you would be worried about disturbing a stack of papers when your mate was between your legs.” He shifted closer to emphasize his point, and I felt his hardness press against my core.

My wolf purred in my head, and a moan slipped out of my mouth. It had been too long since Nathan and I had been together, and I craved his touch.

“We’re also in Kalli’s office,” I managed to mutter between kisses. Each time our mouths met again, it made me care a little bit less where we were.

“Are my brothers in your room?” he asked. His hand slid underneath my shirt and started sliding up slowly. He cupped my breast over my bra and started kneading gently.

“Uh-uh,” I said, barely taking a breath before diving back into the kiss.

Nathan hoisted me up, and my legs automatically wrapped around his waist. He carried me towards the door, not parting from my lips for a second. As he reached for the door, it opened on its own, and a familiar scent filled my nose.

I untangled my legs from Nathan, and he quickly lowered me to the floor. My body felt the weight of gravity again as the sight of Ethan brought me back to reality.

Ethan looked between the two of us with his eyebrows raised. “This is not at all what I was expecting to find when I walked in here.”

“Nathan got back from school early,” I quickly explained. I knew I had done nothing wrong. Ethan and Nathan were my mates, and we had even had a few rendezvouses together, but those were few and far apart. Even still, there was something slightly awkward about Ethan walking in on me latched to his younger brother.

“I can see that.” Ethan’s eyes sparkled as he watched us. He seemed more amused than anything that he had walked in on us like that. “Welcome back, Nathan. I trust your finals went well.”

“I passed all of my classes,” Nathan said.

“Excellent. I am eager to hear more about what’s been going on with you, especially your wolfball games. I see CUW is doing especially well this season, and I’m sure that’s thanks to you,” Ethan said. He sounded more like a father than a brother to Nathan, which wasn’t unusual. Ethan took care of Nathan when their own parents failed to.

Nathan beamed at the compliment. “You’ve been following the games?”

“I have to keep an eye on my little brother somehow,” Ethan said. “I am eager to hear more, but I do have some business to discuss with Juniper. I’ll send her your way when we’re done. I’m sure the two of you have some catching up to do.”

Nathan looked at me, and his cheeks were tinged pink. He leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. “See you soon.”

“It may be a half hour or an hour,” Ethan warned. “Feel free to shower and relax a bit.”

Nathan left us, and Ethan stepped into Kalli’s office, shutting the door behind him. I hadn’t seen him all day, and now that it was the two of us, I wasn’t sure if I was still mad at him or not. He hadn’t even checked in with me all day, and I wasn’t sure if it was because he was giving me space or if the rogue attack had just consumed that much of his time.

Thankfully, I had Kalli helping to distract me as we planned for the Luna Ball, but after a full day of not seeing any of my mates, my chest ached. Nathan had been a breath of fresh air, but I seemed to struggle to breathe now that Ethan was here.

“Are you hungry?” Ethan asked. He lifted up a little basket filled with food.

I looked at the food, suddenly realizing I had accidentally skipped dinner. “You’re making it really hard to stay mad at you.”

Ethan chuckled. “That’s kind of the point. Come on. Let’s find somewhere other than the luna’s office to eat this while we talk.”

He offered me his arm, and for a moment I thought about being stubborn and ignoring his gesture. However, Kalli helped me understand why Ethan said what he did this morning, and we had always been able to talk through issues. I didn’t want to start being childish now, even if part of me was still irked that he doubted my abilities.

I hooked my arm with his, and Ethan’s body relaxed with the returned gesture. He led me to his office, passing through the stuffy room and out to the balcony. He laid down a blanket before setting the basket down. He offered me a cracker with a cheese spread on it before making one for himself.

“You really should ask Kalli for your own office,” Ethan said. “It would give you more space and privacy.”

I shrugged at his suggestion. It wasn’t the first time one of the brothers had suggested the same thing. “I don’t have an official title in this pack—not like you at least. I’m basically a glorified assistant who is still learning how to do her job properly. I don’t feel like I’ve earned an office of my own yet.”

“You’re too critical of yourself. Just because werewolf packs don’t have an official name for your position doesn’t make it any less important. I’m sure Kalli would agree. She’d also say that you make her life and her job easier. I know she sees how incredible you are. She even scolded me right before I found you.” Ethan paused, as if realizing he had said too much.

“She did now? What about?” I said, unable to hide my smile. I liked the idea of Kalli scolding Ethan. Most wolves were afraid to stand up to him because of his status and power. Kalli wasn’t afraid of anything, though.

“You know exactly why she scolded me,” Ethan challenged. “It seems like I may have messed up severely this morning, and she wanted to make sure I knew that.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘severely,’” I said, adding air quotes. I dropped the teasing, knowing I couldn’t dance around the topic forever. “It did hurt knowing you think I’m too weak to handle myself. You’re the one always encouraging me to push myself harder, so I thought you believed in me more than anyone else. This morning made me question that.”

Ethan grabbed my hand and pressed it against his chest. “I’m sorry I ever made you feel that way. I do believe in you, and I know you are going to be an incredible warrior one day. Kalli and I were just discussing how your progress is outstanding, especially for the amount of time you’ve been training.”

“Then why did you make a point to emphasize that I was years behind?” I asked. It was nice to hear Ethan’s assurance, but after his actions this morning, I wasn’t sure which to believe more: his words or his actions.

“I was scared. There have been an unusual amount of rogue attacks, and the thought of one of them getting to you and hurting you is unbearable.” Ethan kissed my palm and then started kissing down my wrist. “I can’t lose you. It has almost happened too many times, and the thought of you getting hurt is paralyzing.”

Ethan’s usual shields were gone. It was one of the rare moments where he showed me his raw emotions, and I was weak for his apology.

I tucked my knees underneath me and sat up so I could cup his face. I started into his shimmering deep blue eyes and said, “I’m not fragile. I’m not going to break easily, and I want to get stronger so that I never have to feel like a helpless maiden, unable to do anything when someone attacks her. But I need real experience. Improving my running speed and fighting dummies isn’t going to give me the practice I need to get to the point I want to. I need you to trust that I will be okay when I get that experience, too.”

Ethan took a slow breath, nuzzling into my hand. “I do trust you. I was selfish this morning, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like I don’t believe in you.”

“You were just trying to protect me,” I said, letting him know I understood where he was coming from. “I know that, and I love you for doing that, but I want you to let me learn the hard way, even if it means letting me fall and scrape my knees a few times.”

Ethan leaned forward and pressed his forehead against mine. “I will always want to protect you, but I also want to always support you. If you want me to take off the training wheels, I will, but you had better be prepared for me to pick you up if you fall.”

I smiled, the weight off my chest disappearing. “I think I can handle that compromise.”

“Good. Then I’ll have Asher take you on patrol, so you can start getting a better feel for what it’s like to be a warrior—a real one.” Ethan brushed his nose against mine before tilting his head just enough for our lips to me. His kiss was soft and loving, which was very different from the intensity of our kiss in the forest. He also kept the kiss brief.

“I love you,” I said. Everytime I said this, it never felt like enough.

“I love you, too.” Ethan ran his fingers through my hair, but he didn’t kiss me again. “It’s killing me not devouring you right now, but Nathan is waiting for you. The two of you should spend some quality time together while he’s here, as selfish as I want to be right now.”

“You are a great older brother, you know that?” I asked.

Ethan let out a laugh of disbelief. “I wish it was easy to believe that. Sometimes I feel like I’m failing.”

I knew exactly what made Ethan say that. There was only one of his brothers that seemed to make him question himself the most. “Issues with Axel today?”

Ethan sighed, pulling me into his lap. He twisted a piece of my brown hair between his fingers as he spoke. “He never showed up for the rogue attack or the interrogation, despite requesting his presence multiple times. He completely ignored direct orders. I can tell he’s unhappy in his position, but I don’t know what to do about it. I’m afraid to push him, because I don’t want him to pull away like before, but things can’t keep going this way.”

“Want me to talk to him about it?” I offered. I had known Axel felt antsy in his warrior position. He mentioned it a few times, but usually when I pushed for more information, he brushed off my concerns. It didn’t stop me from feeling his uneasiness through our bond.

“I can’t always have you talk to him when I don’t know how to,” Ethan said.

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. Besides, Axel is my mate. I want him to be happy, too, so if there’s anything I can do, I want to do it.”

Ethan pulled me into a kiss again. “How did I get so lucky with a mate like you?”

“I feel like the lucky one,” I said. “I have four mates who love and care about me.”

“You also have four mates to give you headaches.”

“True,” I laughed. The benefits of having four mates outweighed the struggles, but there were days I wanted to pull my hair out.

Ethan poked my side, making me giggle. “You weren’t supposed to agree that easily.”

“You’re the one who said it!” I tried to tickle Ethan back, but he got to my sides first, making me squeal in defeat. “Okay, okay, I surrender.”

Ethan’s deep chuckle reverberated through his chest. “Never surrender. You’re too strong to give in to others.”

“Even against you?” I asked.

“Even against me,” Ethan said. “You could rule the world if you wanted to.”

I smiled, feeling confident in Ethan’s faith in me. “Good thing I don’t want to rule the world.”