Stay Forever

Try to keep in touch

Hannah's p.o.v

Happy 18th Birthday Holden. I love you so much. I know we aren't real siblings, but I will always love you like one. You are the older brother I always wanted. Thank you for taking care of me all of these years, for taking the beatings and helping me heal when I got beat. For saving me from him entering my bedroom night after night. I hope that, now that you are free, you make something amazing of yourself. I know you will. You are the smartest person I know. I promise to come find you next year when I turn 18. Try to keep in touch. Good luck on your job interview. You are finally free, Holden. I love you forever, Hannah.

I wish I had money to buy Holden a real gift, but this is the closest thing to a gift that he will get from me. Today my foster brother turns 18 and he has to move out. Lucky him. He is currently in his room packing so I go in there. "Holden, Happy Birthday, here, read it once you are far away from here." I tell him and he nods and puts it in his pocket. "I hate having to leave you here alone, Han, but I can't take you with me. It would be selfish. I have nothing to offer you. As soon as I get a job and money, a place to stay, I will come get you. I promise. Just lock your door at night and scream if you have to. Maybe the neighbors will hear and come help." He says, but who are we kidding. No-one ever comes. "Put your dresser in front of the door and use the window to get out if he tries to get in your room," he tells me, and I smile. I can see the worry on his face. He doesn't want to leave me here, alone, without his protection. I know they still beat me even with him here, but it was less, but now I am alone with these two monsters. He saved me the times that pig tried to sneak into my room. He took him off me many nights and now he won't be here to do so and I am terrified, but I won't tell him and I won't let it show. "Lets go boy," my pig of a foster father says as he walks in the room, pulling Holden up by his arm. Holden pushes him away. Lately, he has been standing up for himself even more and this pig hates it. "Bye Hans" he says and hugs me and kisses the top of my head. "see you around," he says "no you won't be seeing her ever again," the pig tells Holden and they walk out of the room. I watch out the window as they drive away. I go to my room and get on my bed and cry. A bad feeling sinking in, but I try to stay positive. Just one more year of this torture and I can get out. I cry, wishing the social workers would help, but no-one does. They never believe us. The Sanders put on a good show when they come over, maybe that is why. They think we are just troubled kids looking for attention and they are thankful that these monsters opened their doors for poor kids like us. The house is empty, so I go into the pig's office. I have been wanting to get my hands on my adoption file since I came here, but they have never left me alone in the house and the one time I was caught in here, I got beat and had bruises on my face and couldn't go to school for weeks. Now he's more careful where he hits me, but he still does it, so I have to be careful. I will make sure I put everything back where it goes so I don't get caught.

I walk around the house quickly to make sure no-one is here and I don't see my foster mother anywhere. She isn't back yet, good. I run to the office. I open the door and it must be my lucky day, his keys are laying on top of his desk. I quickly go through them all until the smallest key opens the small drawer at the bottom of his desk. I pull out the papers and I find mine and Holden's adoption files. I go through mine first. Hannah Marie Windsor. I was told that my name is Hannah Nicolette Bayer. They lied to me. I read the file. I find out my mother's name is Marie Windsor and my father's name is Hanson Mario Windsor. Wow, they kept the names within the H's and M's. Says here that my parents split up. Mom was a single mother and she passed away in a drowning accident, but it doesn't say anything about my father, but that he didn't claim me, so I went to foster care. Apparently, there was no other family that wanted me. I am all alone in the world. I keep reading and it says I was found in the ocean, on a big floating device. I look at the pictures and I am realizing that although I don't remember what happened to me, I have dreamed of drowning. I have hated water ever since I can remember. Me reaching into the water and screaming mommy. I shake my head, feeling the tears in my eyes just thinking about these dreams, no nightmares. I continue to read, but there isn't much here. My mom died many years ago. I find a picture of her and one of the both of us and I decide to take them. I just hope before my year is up that he doesn't find out I have these in my possession. I move on to Holden's file. Holden Michaels. He doesn't have a middle name. They didn't lie to him. His mother gave him up as a newborn. She was addicted to drugs and couldn't take care of him. No dad on file. I close and return the files when I hear a car pulling into the driveway. I quickly try to make sure everything is where it was before I walked in and put the keys back and get out quickly. I pull the door closed, but it gets caught on the small rug he has by the door. F*ck, I can't let them find me anywhere near here, so I just rush to my room. I have to hide my pictures. I have a backpack that contains 2 outfits, a pair of underwear, a pair of socks, a pair of shoes, a tooth brush, small toothpaste and a hairbrush, along with some change. Holden made me pack this emergency backpack in case I ever had to run. I stare at the photos for a moment. I look so much like my mother. She was so beautiful. I stuff the pictures in the backpack and shove it under my bed. I get up and I take a step towards the door when it flies open. "You little b*tch, you were in my husband's office. Wait until he returns from dropping off that worm at the bus station." my foster mother says, and I gulp. I am screwed.

A couple of hours later, I hear doors slamming and I try to brace myself for what is coming my way. "Hannah" I hear my name being called and I know better than to keep them waiting. "Dinner is served," my foster mother says, and I sit in my assigned chair. I watch as the pig looks at my b00bs and licks his lips. I look down at the food and I am not sure if I should trust it. It is my favorite food, but what if she poisoned it? "Now that it is just us 3 at home, we can be a real family." the old dirty pig says. I look up at him, feeling shocked. What is he talking about? A real family. We will never be a real family. "I asked your mother to make your favorite meal, sweetheart" the pig tells me. Again, his eyes travel down to my b00bs and my skin crawls. My mother? I watch as she glares at me. I can see how pissed off she is. I want to yell and tell them that she is not my mother, but I just give them a small, fake smile and nod. "Eat" the pig orders and I grab the fork and move the food around, trying to see if anything is off with the food. I once mentioned that this is my favorite meal and it was never made again. They normally had me cook and she told me I couldn't make this meal, ever. Something just feels wrong. I watch them eat, but I just move the food around my plate some more, thinking I am being set up. I wonder if she told him already. "So your mother says that you were in my office. Did you find anything interesting in there?" he asks me and I freeze. "No, I was in my room." I say "So who was in there? Why was my office door open sweetheart?" he asks nicely. I shrug. "I..I don't know, it wasn't me..." I stutter. He slams his fists down on the table, making things fly off this flimsy table. I wonder why they have such a cheap table. They have so much money, but maybe it's because all of the tables he has broken. They don't want to keep buying expensive ones, so now they settle on these cheap ones. "Stop lying" he yells as he slams his fists once again. I just stay quiet. He stands up and pulls me by my hair and begins dragging me through the house. "Stop, it hurts, nooo" I yell, tears running down my face. I hope he doesn't pull my hair out. I don't want to have a bald spot. "Shut the f*ck up he says as he throws me in my room and begins kicking me. I try to roll up in a ball so my face and the front of my body won't take the hits, but even with him kicking my back and butt, I still feel every single kick. He grabs my arm and pulls me up. "What did I tell you last time? I told you to stay the f*ck out of my office. There's nothing in there that you need to see. Then you lie to me. You dare lie to me" he yells even louder, and slaps me with the back of his hand. I shake my head and put my hands in front of my face. I take a step back. "I'm sorry It wasn't me" I cry. "Still lying." he screams and punches me and I begin to see black. F*ck. He punches me again and I fall to the floor. I can't see, but I feel something sliding down my face. It's wet and sticky.

I wake up on the floor of my bedroom. I open my eyes, but it hurts to do so. My right eye hurts so much. I stand up and groan in pain. Sh*t, he really beat me this time. I feel it all over my body. I stretch and luckily my legs don't hurt. I walk over to my desk and grab a small portable mirror I have in my basket. I open it and I drop it. Oh my god, I look like a monster. My eyes are swollen and bruising. I begin to cry, but my whole face hurts so much with ever move I make. He hasn't hit my face in so long, but this time he didn't care. This means I won't be able to go to school. I hear him shouting at his wife and I freak out. I hear yelling and things breaking. They are arguing. I put my ear to the door "If you touch her, forget about me." his wife says. "This will make our marriage stronger babe." he responds. "She's a child." she replies "She's a wh0re. Look at the clothes you buy her. She walks around here half naked all the time. I am a man and have needs. You couldn't give me a child. Maybe we can use her to have our one baby." he tells her and fear like I have never felt before, consumes me. They are disgusting. I push my dresser in front of the door. He is probably going to come in here and either take it out on me and beat me some more or r@pe me.

My suspicions are proven correct, when he tries to open my door, but it is locked. He begins kicking the door and starts slamming his body into the door. I jump off the bed and grab my backpack under it. I slip on my tennis shoes and do what Holden prepared me to do many times before. F*ck this. He will k*ll me if he hits me again and I refuse to let this b@stard rape me. I quickly jump out the window and I am ready to run. I get next to the tree a couple of feet away when I hear him yell. I look up at my window as he looks out. "Hannah, come back and I won't hurt you." he says, and I do something I never thought I would do, at least not before I turned 18 and could leave this awful place. I flip him off. "F*ck you," I shout, and take off, running away. I need to find a place to hide, because I know he will come looking for me. I can barely see out of one eye, and my whole body hurts, so this will be hard to do, but I refuse to continue getting abused.

I get to the bus station and I look around, earlier that witch made a comment about the pig bringing Holden here, but I don't see him. F*ck, he probably got on a bus and is far, far away from here. I hope so. I am so lucky that I am wearing a hoodie, so I pull it over my head and open my bag and I am surprised that the front pocket has sun glasses, a headband, a flash light and a fruit bar and a small water bottle. Did Holden add this to my backpack? I don't remember doing it. I put on the sunglasses and take a small sip of water. I go see how much the bus tickets are, but I can't afford it. I am stuck in this f*cking town, sh*t. I begin to panic. I can't go back there. They will surely k*ll me. I sit in here, trying to figure out what to do. Maybe I can take the city bus, those only cost a quarter. I walk across the street and sit at the bus stop. I see the bus coming at the same time that I see many police cars pull up to the bus station across the street. I get on the bus and sit close to the back. I look out the window and see my foster father's car pull up. All I see as we pull away are he and his wife getting out of the car. I breathe out, knowing I am getting far away from them. The further the bus drives, the more relieved I feel.

"This is the end of the line," I hear and my head pops up. f*ck, I need to get out here, otherwise the bus goes back the way we came and I refuse to go that way. "Thank you" I say and hop out the back door. I walk and walk, I have no idea where I am going, but as long as I am getting far away from the monsters, that's all that matters to me. I walk and walk and walk. My body aches painfully and I want to cry, but I just continue walking. I hear sirens and I get so scared, I quickly rush into a church. Maybe God can help me.