Soccer Camp

Round Two

The tournament seemed to last for days, if not weeks. After the whole text incident where I was rejected beyond embarrassment, I avoided all eye contact with Jesse. If he spoke to me, I nodded, and if he asked a question, I answered with my head down.

I have no idea how anyone else would feel, but I was completely humiliated. I couldn’t look into his eyes, I couldn’t do it. Whenever I was around him, I wanted to disappear through the ground or crawl into a ball. So instead of sitting on the bench, I stood and remained active. I cheered the kids on like a crazy mother or an extremely involved father.

I became social closed over the days; returning to my normal ways. I didn’t want to see who Jesse gave his jersey to and every girl on the camp seemed to be wearing one. So I avoided all jersey numbers, not wanting to find number one. At lunch I would find a private area underneath a tree and read my book.

My books were safe. They provided the escape I desperately needed for the remainder of my time at this camp and it allowed me to pull back and think. I missed the silence in my life that reading brought me. This was the first time since I arrived that I was able to just step back and move in slow motion. When I was with Jesse, everything was so fast and blurry… but it was good… URGH!

I shook my head as we wrapped up our game. We were on a winning streak and I chose to believe that it was because of my supportive spirit.

“Congrats guys! I’m so proud of you!” I sang as they ran towards me. They were soaked in sweat and joy. After a long embrace as a group they ran off to their coach. Then I made a mistake, I looked up.

Nichole was there as always but she was wearing a jersey. I have never noticed before because of my vow to remain blind to the world. The jersey she wore did not look similar to the one Justin gave to Jesse a few days ago. But it had signatures written in black ink all over so that might explain the difference. What made matters worse was that it had number one on it.

Why was I not surprised? Of course he gave her his jersey. I exhaled and grabbed my sweater from the bench, taking my leave. It wasn’t like I expected to get it or anything… I walked to the cabin to grab my book and then to the lunch hall to grab a sandwich. When I arrived, it was packed with everyone who attended the game.

“Hey” Matt smiled when he saw me. I grabbed my sandwich and waved goodbye to him, heading to my regular spot under the tree. “Not today! Today we are headed to the diner a few miles down”

He held my hand and pulled me behind him. Jaylen followed behind us as we left the hall. I have never spoken two words to her. No matter how brief it was, my social life was over and I had no intent of starting it up again. Speaking to anyone other than Matt was out of the question. Having too many friendships to maintain gave me anxiety and I really didn’t want to be obligated to say hi to her every time we passed by each other.

She had long omber hair and thick pink lips. Yes, she was gorgeous. And I didn’t want to stand beside her. I was a mess standing by myself, no point adding competition. My hair was just slightly passed my shoulders, and sometimes it was curly, frizzy, or straight. I had removed the painful contacts Matt provided me with so I was back to my large glasses.

I even dug up the clothing Matt banished from the face of the earth. I needed things that brought me comfort and they did.

“How are we going to get out there?” I whined. My book was getting good, and even though I read it more than four times, it never gets old. Plus I needed to get through this one so I could start the others. There was a list and a limited amount of time before summer ended and University began. When that time comes, my books will be traded in for expensive, overpriced reading materials.

“Jesse’s fathers’ car.” Matt replied as I followed him unwillingly to the parking lot.

“And how the hell are we going to get that?” I panicked. Were we stealing it or something?

“Jesse is coming along” Jaylen spoke, her voice like a hot knife slicing through butter. I couldn’t stop comparing myself to her, I had no idea why. But it was hard to not notice your faults while standing beside perfection.

“He doesn’t want to come! He gave his jersey to Nicole.” I told Matt as evidence. I didn’t want to go anywhere, or even be in the same space as Jesse. The whole thing still stung and I wasn’t ready to lick my wounds.

“Then why did he accept? I have never spoken to Jesse Rosen!” Jaylen squealed. “And so what if he gave Nicole his jersey, they have been together for years now.”

I looked at Matt with my eyebrows raised. “And who is this girl?” I asked.

“Excuse me?” her head snapped towards me. Her tone was clipped and harsh. Did I offend her?

“Just saying you should stay out of conversations you weren’t invited into. I was speaking to Matt.” I explained as nicely as possible. I have no idea where she was getting the idea that we were friends. I was not obligated to speak to her… right? Wasn’t this how socialization occurred?

“Wow.” Jaylen snorted in disbelief as if I said something wrong. How the hell does Matt keep her happy?

Matt chuckled as he continued to walked, not saying a word. We reached a shiny silver and black car that looked incredibly expensive. What if we got into an accident, wouldn’t we have to pay for damages…? Holy s**t, I couldn’t go. Before I could turn back to camp and try to escape from Matt’s grasp, Jesse had jogged over.

I noticed Jaylen combing through her hair and pushing up her breasts. But the only preparation I was doing was holding my head down and thinking of a way out of this.

“Ready?” Jesse asked as his feet came into my view. He was wearing cloth loafers and a white Capri. I had no idea of what he looked like above his knee, but I was sure it was along the line for gorgeous.

“Hi, Jesse” Jaylen sang. “I’m Jaylen, but you can call me Jay. It is so nice to meet you.”

“You too. We should get going.” Jesse suggested as he pressed a button and brought the car to life. Matt and Jaylen got into the back and closed the doors. That left me with shotgun and I was definitely not sitting right there beside him. I stood outside the door as I calculated how fast I could run and how soon I could get to the cabin and bolt the doors.

“You coming?” Jesse asked from the car. Before I could answer, Matt’s door opened and his head popped out.

“Get your ass in the car” he mouthed, his face serious. I sighed and got into the front.

“If you want to sit in the back then we can switch” Jaylen offered. That actually sounded pretty good. I reached for my seatbelt, but the car pulled out of the parking spot and Jesse’s fingers touched mine.

“She’s fine where she is.” He muttered as he quickly glanced over at me through the corner of his eye. That was the first time our eyes have met for days and it pained more than anything. I turned my head to the window as we drove out of the forest and into town.

This place was actually beautiful. There were a lot of lakes, man-made and natural.

When we got to the small diner, we took a booth in the back. There was a wall that separated the booth from the rest of the restaurant which I thought was really weird. Maybe they planned on removing it over time. We sat down and ordered our meals. I sat beside Jesse so I wouldn’t be forced to look at him from across the table.

“So, Jesse, your team is doing great so far” Jaylen gushed. I was happy she was talking to him; it took his eyes away from my face.

“They are. We are very proud.” Jesse nodded.

“Oh yes, I’ve noticed that you and Nicole have been training them.”

I rolled my eyes away from the table. This girl was really pissing me off and I couldn’t explain why.

“Actually I meant Amber and I are really proud. We’ve been working with the kids together all summer” Jesse corrected calmly. I flushed at how well he defended me and smiled a little to myself. He placed his hand on the back of my seat and I shot up.

“Huh?” Matt looked at me in shock and amusement.

“We should go check on our meals. It’s taking really long…” I said without thinking.

“It’s been three minutes” Matt mused, as he placed his finger to him lips and his elbow on the table. He stared at me in laughter, enjoying my discomfort.

“And so?” I snapped. “Poor service is poor service, no matter how long it takes.”

“Are you alright?” Jaylen questioned.

“Yes, and that is why you are coming with me.” Why the hell was I inviting her to witness my embarrassment? Oh God, just sit back down. No! It’s too late. Jesse will think you are even crazier than before.

“I am?” Jaylen questioned with no intensions of coming with me.

“It’s fine. I’ll go check on it if that makes you feel better.” Jesse offered, scooting down the seat.

“Me too!” Jaylen smiled, rising to her feet in milliseconds. I shook my head and rolled my eyes at her. Was this what Jesse was talking about when he said girls act differently around him because of who he was? Poor guy… wait no! She was gorgeous. Any guy would want her acting like this around him.

“It’s alright.” I placed my hand on Jesse’s shoulder as reassurance, which was a big mistake. The electricity shot threw my arm and down my spine. I removed my hand almost immediately and pushed Jaylen behind the wall.

I stopped when I was out of sight and breathed.

“Okay, I’m going to use the washroom. You can go do whatever you plan on doing by yourself.” She dismissed with a wave of her hand. I watched her walk away to the washroom. I would just wait here… and say I did it when she came back. I smiled at my plan that could save me from mortification.

“What the f**k are you doing?” I heard Jesse’s voice behind the wall. I listen closer to the conversation, not knowing how they could have gotten into a fight so soon.

“What?” Matt asked calmly.

“You bring her along while you also invite someone else? You’re f*****g unbelievable.”

“That’s why I invited you.”

“Have you not seen her moods lately? Ever since you started dating that girl she’s been like that. Stop this bullshit and stop messing with her. I mean it Matthew.”

I have never heard Jesse this angry, except when I was drunk that one night. URGH! I was getting a headache just thinking about it.

“You think she’s been like this because she’s pining over me?” Matt’s voice sounded confused.

“She has feelings for you, I know she does. I see it every time you two are around each other.”

“Man, those are feelings for you! Yes, I love her, but she’s like a baby sister to me. I’m not good for her. Besides, even if I was into her like that, I could never compete with you.”

“She doesn’t care about what I have.” Jesse muttered, his voice travelling off. “She wants you, and no matter how bad it hurts, I am willing to let you have her. She’s happy with you.”

“I have no idea where you got your observation from but you’ve got it backwards. She’s been like this ever since you broke up with her… like a p***y!” Matt’s voice was light as it always was, teasing.

I heard a small laugh from Jesse. “I’ve never met someone like her; someone who didn’t know who I was and didn’t care when she found out. Not to mention those sexy ass dimples… f**k man!” Jesse exclaimed. I touched my cheeks in search of dimples but couldn’t find them. Where they talking about someone else? They did grow up together; they probably had the same exact friends. “I’m just not use to a girl liking any other than me.” Jesse finished.

“I’m a good looking guy, man.” Matt laughed.

“Yes, and everyone, all s*x and genders, seem to want you.” Jesse joined in. “at least tell me your secret with her”

I felt bad for listening in on their conversation but I couldn’t turn away; but the thought of Jesse liking someone that much pained deep in the pit of my stomach. I stared down at my fingers and I held back tears. I was never good enough so why was it so painful now?

“There is no secret, and even if there was, you already have it.” Matt paused for a moment before he continued. “I sent you the text about that jersey, but I so sure you were going to allow her to wear it.”

Jesse sighed and I imagined him running his fingers through his curly hair. Oh, how I missed the feel of it… No! Focus Amber. If you are going to ease drop on a conversation that was clearly none of your business, might as well pay close attention.

“Seeing her in that jersey would have driven me mad. Especially seeing her in it alone, with nothing else on… just all legs.” Jesse wondered off. I turned my head away; the way he talked about someone else did not sit right with me. Yes, I was jealous, and I didn’t even have the right to be.

“You really have it bad for her don’t you? But yes, I agree. That would have been a very attractive sight.” Matt too?!?! You have got to be kidding me! I was ready I go in and end this conversation. “But why did you give it to Nicole?” I froze and listen carefully again.

“You have no idea how much I care about her. What are you talking about?”

“Nicole is wearing your jersey.”

“Yes, last year’s winning jersey. All the team members signed it and she asked if she could keep it. It wasn’t a big deal so I agreed to it. My jersey is still in its plastic under my closet.” At least this conversation wasn’t about Nicole, I sighed in small contentment.

“Oh” Matt muttered, humour present in his tone.

“So what’s going on between you two?” Jesse asked.

“Did you go?” Jaylen’s voice came from behind me and frightened me. I turned around guiltily. I was caught red handed eavesdropping.

“Yes! I did!” I lied quickly, my voice a little too high.

“You are really weird” Jaylen acknowledged. She pushed passed me and joined the others. I waited until my heart beat calmed and then slapped on a poker face. I couldn’t believe Jesse felt this way about someone and here I was embarrassing myself beyond measures. If I wasn’t embarrassed before, I was mortified now. I held my head down as I took my seat, never looking up.

The lunch took long to be over as I sat there at the booth, trying to pretend everything was fine, when it wasn’t! Where was a gun when you needed one? I ate in silence as the rest of them talked, Jaylen mainly, as she asked question after question to Jesse.

Maybe they were talking about Jaylen! Of course! Just look at her!

I grunted quietly to myself and regretted not sticking to my plan and making a run for it to the cabin. At least then I would be in bed with a book that couldn’t rip my heart out time after time.