One Night Stand With The Alpha

Friday 21st June 1991 - Marlene

I stayed in my bedroom all morning on Friday. I wanted to read through some of the books I had been set for my first term, and take notes about the things I thought I might struggle with, but it was mainly because I was trying to avoid Biata.

She still hadn’t calmed down, and I was exhausted by her constant reminders about the rules that she was enforcing on me and Elizabeth as if they had been set in stone because they were how she thought we should be living.

It was exhausting to do something as simple as cook a meal because the moment she heard somebody in the kitchen she would thunder downstairs and sit at the table to watch and comment every step of the way.

Elizabeth didn’t care, and while I admired her for the fact she was not going to let Biata dictate her behavior, it meant I had to listen to the pair of them arguing nearly constantly and I really hoped that they would realize it was best to simply avoid each other by the start of term.

I was finally about to emerge from my room to make lunch when they started to argue again because Elizabeth was watching the television in the living room with her lunch on her lap and Biata was angry about it because we were only supposed to eat at the table.

No matter how starving I was, I did not want to go downstairs and end up in the midst of their fight, and even though I didn’t have much money, I thought it would be better to go out for lunch.

At least that would give me another opportunity to explore the city, and I was sure I had seen some sweet looking little restaurants on my way home from the club…

The club. I had managed to avoid thinking about that night yesterday, but now I had remembered it and I immediately felt my cheeks burn because I was still embarrassed that I had ended up sleeping with a guy when the only interaction we had even had was him passing me the key I had dropped.

He could have been anyone - I knew nothing about him whatsoever other than the fact he wore expensive, fashionable clothing and was the kind of guy who was happy to spend a night with a complete stranger.

Biata had not let that drop, either.

It’s not like I could defend myself or tell her to calm down about it, because it was perfectly reasonable for her to be upset with me for inviting a complete stranger into the house.

I hated it that she now thought I was the kind of person who hooked up with people like that all the time, but I had done that and she had no way of knowing that the only other guy I had ever been with was Theo, or that we had been in a relationship since we were 14 and everyone expected us to get married before I found out I had actually been awarded this scholarship and I finally had the courage to tell him I didn’t want to stay in the same town I had been born and raised in for the rest of my life.

He had been utterly heartbroken, and I found it harder than I expected to walk away from him. I nearly told him that I just needed some space and a little time to get used to living in the city. But I had no intention of rekindling our relationship and ending up stuck back at home as soon as I graduated and I could just imagine him telling me I could work as a GP in town and we could just go back to the way things were supposed to be.

He didn’t understand that I didn’t want a life like that. He just couldn’t imagine why I would want to move away, and he didn’t respect the fact I had actual dreams that I wanted to pursue.

I knew he would never consider moving - if he had even mentioned the idea I might have been willing to stay with him for the sake of the comfort and familiarity. But he loved me, and I didn’t love him, and he needed somebody who wanted the same things as him - which is exactly what I deserved, too.

I hated it that I felt guilty about sleeping with Daniel. I knew that Theo would be really hurt by it if he ever found out, and I felt bad about the fact I didn’t think about him at all until afterwards. I had moved on, and he was still clinging to the hope I might realize he was my perfect man and change my mind.

The others were still bickering downstairs, and now I was hungry and irritated and feeling bad about my stupid, impulsive hook-up and so I decided that I really did need to get out of the house for a while.

I got ready to go out rather hastily, throwing on a little floral summer dress and tying my hair up scruffily because I just wanted to get away from the arguing and I didn’t have the patience to sit and do my hair and makeup properly.

I didn’t exactly expect to open the front door and find myself face to face with Daniel; I had never expected to see him again at all, and I panicked when I saw him because I just knew that Biata would have a massive embarrassing rant if she saw that he had come back to the house.

I slipped out and closed the door before grabbing his wrist and pulling him aside just in case Biata came to the window or opened the door to see if I had violated one of her rules on the way out.

“What are you doing here?” I hissed.

He smiled, but he looked a little confused by the fact I had just dragged him away from my own house and started whispering like this was a massive secret that I couldn’t risk anybody discovering.

“Do I really look bad enough that it embarrasses you to be seen with me?”

I looked around me again, and when I was sure that Biata wasn’t going to march out and lecture me, I relaxed.

“I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you, I just wasn’t expecting to see you again… what happened was stupid and I don’t really need to be reminded of it. And if you showed up because you think I am the kind of person who behaves like that all the time you are sorely mistaken; I am not like that, it was a one-time thing and I will not be doing anything as irresponsible again.”

He raised one of his eyebrows at my impassioned monologue, but didn’t seem to be phased by it. It made me worry that he might have shown up because he forgot something, even though he definitely hadn’t left anything behind when he left.

“Actually, I showed up unannounced because I didn’t get your phone number and I had no way of contacting you first. If you think it was out of line I apologize, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you yesterday and I was going to regret it if I didn’t at least ask if you wanted to get lunch or something… we may have done this the wrong way around, but I would like to get to know you.”

We had barely talked at all, and I had no idea why he would want to get to know me based on the very scant information he had about me.

I did find him intriguing, though, and I found it extremely frustrating that I was actually considering his offer.

It was only lunch, and I was going to lunch, anyway.

“I am really not looking for a relationship right now… I will go for lunch, but you should know that it is not going to lead anywhere. I don’t want you to be under any illusions about this blossoming into the world's least romantic love affair.”

He laughed. Apparently, I had misinterpreted his offer.

“Believe me, we are on the same page. I don’t have that long left in the city, and I am not looking for a relationship. I just found you interesting, and I was in the area. And you’re new to the city so… perhaps you would appreciate me showing you some of the nicer parts?”

I did appreciate that offer.

“Just… remember, I am a student. You don’t look like the kind of man who has to live on a budget, and gourmet restaurants are not the kind of places I need to know the locations of.”

“Nothing gourmet; I promise. Just lunch, together, somewhere pleasant and affordable.”

I nodded - affirming my decision to go to lunch with him.

I had nothing to lose, and he seemed like a genuine person. At least I wouldn’t be sitting alone like a total loser.

I walked alongside him as he led me through streets I had not yet explored and past seemingly countless places we could have stopped for food which looked perfectly fine to me until we reached somewhere I did kind of recognize - it was a little cafe near the main bus station and I think I must have passed the place on my first day without noticing it.

It was small, and unassuming, and it had this quaint old-fashioned feel that I didn’t expect to find in the middle of a bustling city.

I saw the appeal, and I appreciated why Daniel made me walk twenty minutes to get here rather than stopping off at some greasy fast food place.

It felt a little more romantic than I would have liked when we sat down at a table together. That wasn’t his fault - I don’t think he had intended for it to feel that way, and it wasn’t his fault I saw it that way. It was just that this was far more romantic than anything Theo had ever done and I was comparing him to Theo now even though I had just told him this was not going to become anything serious and he had just told me he wasn’t even going to be in the city for much longer.

We ordered our food, and I sat silently and awkwardly because now this felt like a date to me but I don’t think it felt that way to him and I had no idea how to make small talk with an actual sophisticated adult like him.

I started to worry that this was a stupid idea. He probably regretted it now that he was seeing the real me… the real me who had scruffy hair and no makeup and nothing interesting to say.

“You seem nervous…”

God, this was awkward. I seemed nervous because I was nervous, but I had no reason to be.

“I just had a stressful morning. You caught me as I was leaving to get away from an argument my house mates were having.”

Possibly over sharing, but at least it was a decent explanation for my awkward behavior.

“It seems like you aren’t very compatible.”

“That is a diplomatic way of describing the situation, yes. It’s a nightmare, and I am still being criticized for bringing you home, so…I do not want to make that situation worse, if you don’t mind.”

“I was not looking for casual s*x; it was just as out of character for me to follow you into that house, believe me. And I don’t regret it, but I can see that you do… I am not going to pressure you into sleeping with me, and I am sorry that your house mate is making you feel bad for it. You shouldn’t feel ashamed.”

That was easy for him to say.

I decided there was no point in disagreeing, though. This lunch was already awkward enough without it descending into a debate about the morality of sleeping with total strangers.

It was easier to just change the subject, and I was surprised that we actually got on rather well when I got past my awkwardness over the situation.

He was an interesting person - he liked Pre-Raphaelite art, and he was interested in philosophy and history. He was an intelligent person; he was funny, and charismatic, and he seemed to be in a place in life where he wasn’t really sure what he wanted.

I guessed that he came from a wealthy family because he was dressed in casual but expensive looking clothing again and he was free to come for lunch with me spontaneously on a Friday afternoon.

By the time we had finished our food, I found that I actually wanted to spend more time with him, and against my better judgment I asked if he would like to come back to the house again.

I only intended to carry on getting to know him, but he laughed at the suggestion and reminded me that Biata would be furious if I brought him back again.

I thought it was probably a polite rejection, and I felt a weight in my stomach that was my first real taste of how it felt to be turned down by someone I actually liked.

He surprised me by asking if I would consider going back to his place instead. He did feel the same as me; it wasn’t because we were desperate to sleep with each other again; we were just really getting on and I had never actually connected with somebody this way. I had never met anybody like him - somebody who was so clearly from a completely different world to me, but felt like an old friend despite our differences. We were different, but the same, and so I agreed to go back to his place and discovered that he really did live quite close to where I did, but that his apartment was completely unlike the modest building that I now called home.

It was only five minutes away, and yet this place… it was modern, and luxurious, and it was clear that I was right about his family being wealthy because everything in the apartment was exquisite.

He had shelves filled with books, and there were a couple on his coffee table, too.

I would never have guessed he was so… studious?

They were all cerebral books, not trashy pulp fictions. He was clearly even more fascinated by the things he had spoken to me about than I had realized, and it was reassuring to see he had not just said those things to impress me.

It made him even more appealing to me; Theo was nice, but he was not an especially intelligent man, and it was frustrating that he found intellectual subjects dull and difficult to follow.

I was actually relieved by this and I was glad that I had given him a chance because I felt a lot better about sleeping with him now I knew he wasn’t a vapid i***t.

I actually liked him, and I was starting to hope he would want to meet again after today.