Second chance at Love

Chapter four

Damien leans down and kisses me, taking my face into his hands; pulling away, he smiles, “Thank you” he moves his hands down to my waist, pulling me to stand in front of him. We both quietly stare out at the view. This could be the beginning of something beautiful or a total disaster. I push my fears out of my head and try to focus on the now, but a small part of me is scared that I'm going to get hurt again.

Damien must sense my concern and hold me closer to him, kissing my cheek, “Ros, I'm not letting you go this time”, he whispers, and I lean back onto his chest. “We should go back”, I say, knowing I must return to my children.

Damien sighs, “Can't we have another night?” I shake my head. “The kids need me, but I'm sure we will have more nights.”

I get into the car and wait for Damien to get in, and then we head back into town to get my car. We say our goodbyes, and I go to my dad's to pick my kids up.

When I walk through the door, my boys run up and wrap their arms around me. I leave them kisses and go down to my dad, who is watching a movie; he sees me and smiles.

“How was your night?”

I grin. “It was good; we had dinner and watched a movie, then went to bed; today we went to the lookout, and he asked me to be his girlfriend, not in so many words, but we are seeing where things go.”

My dad nods his head and lets out a breath, “I don't want to see you get hurt again.”

I sit back and think about how everything could go wrong if I let Damien into my children's lives. I don't want to have men in and out constantly, and if things go wrong, not only will it break my heart but my children's hearts also; I look at my children and smile, and regardless of what happens, I will always have a love of my kids behind me, and that's what makes my heart happy.

I glance at my dad, who is watching me intently,

“Regardless of what happens, Dad, I have to give this a go; life is too short to live in fear.”

My Dad grins at me and nods “Well, when do I get to terrorise him and see if he is good enough for my daughter?”

I laugh and shake my head. “All in good time, Dad. I said I wanted to take things slow, but I'm sure you will get to see him soon enough.”

Dad grins at me, then looks back at the TV, leaving me to gather my kid's things together so we can go home,

The next few days are a blur. I don't see Damien, but he has been sending me daily messages and nightly phone calls; my children have been crying at night, trying to find out why their dad has left them; anger builds inside thinking of how heartless he has been, thinking only of himself, I pick up my phone and open messenger in my apps then scroll down and find his name and click on it.

I look at the last message he sent me, and my heart hurts remembering that I was merely a source of income for him. He didn’t love me and used me to gain financially!

My fingers hover over the keyboard, thinking of what to say.

“Do you even have a heart? Do you know how much your actions have hurt the children? I hope you're happy with your new whore.”

I considered deleting the message, but then I hit send. I put my phone down and soak in a bath in the hopes it will clear my mind; watching my children cry makes me hate my ex even more, knowing they never meant a thing to him.

After my bath, I check my phone and see that Damien has sent me a message; I open it up and read it.

“I want to come over.”

I bite my bottom lip and reply

“Ok”

I put my phone back on the table and check on my children. I lean on the doorframe and watch them sleep before closing the door.

I make my way back to the living room to clean up before Damien arrives,

I hear a knock at the door, so I answer it; my breath is shaky as I see Damien standing there with his hands shoved in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels. I open the door to let him inside, not knowing what to do with myself. Do I jump on him and kiss him like I want to do, or do I wait for him to make the first move? Damien steps in the door and wastes no time pulling me into him and kissing me; I can smell beer on him, and I pull away and scrunch up my nose. “You have been drinking,” I say as I step away.

He grinned and shrugged his shoulders. “I had a few beers after work. Is that a crime?”

I shake my head. “No, but is this something you habitually do?”

Damien walks past me and looks around my house, and for some reason, my guard is up! Because my husband used to drink and get nasty towards me, is Damien going to be the same? Doubts are begging to swirl through my mind, but I shake them out of my head as soon as they enter. Damien is not my ex-husband.

I stand and watch Damien walk through my house, and then I take his hand to the living room, “so, do you want a drink or anything?”

Damien looks me up and down, then licks his lips

“Do you have beer?” I frown and shake my head. “I'll make you a coffee.

I leave him standing in my living room, go to the kitchen, and begin to make his coffee.

I let out a small yelp when he came up behind me and turned me around, “What's wrong, sweetheart?”

I sigh. “It's the drinking; I don't like it because usually, beer leads to me getting into trouble for everything.”

Damien picks me up and sits me on the counter.

He smiles at me and shakes his head. “I'm not him, and I will try to cut back for you; I don't want you to have more trauma than you have already been through; I like to have a been to wind down after work.”

He leans in to kiss me, but I push him away. “The bathroom is the first door to the left. Brush your teeth, then I'll kiss you. There is a new toothbrush in the top drawer.”

Damien drops his head and walks to the bathroom, and I slide off the counter and continue to make his coffee. When he comes back, I go to him and kiss him, feeling wrong for pushing him away. “Sorry,” I say quietly.

Damien smiles, then takes my hands in his “It's okay; I'm the one who should be sorry; it was inconsiderate of me to come to your home after I had a few beers.

He sits on the couch, ensuring I sit beside him and drink his coffee.

“Ros?” Damien ask.

“Hmm,” I say

“I want to live with you?”

I glance over at him in shock.

“Huh, you haven't even met my kids?”

Damien smiles.

“I don't care, Ros; I already love them. I hate waking up without you.”

I look at him in shock and process what he has asked: do I want him to live with me? Is it too soon?

I'm taken from my thoughts when my phone pings.

I pick it up to see a message from my ex-husband “I miss the kids, don't go getting pissed at me because you are the one who wrecked our relationship.” my anger begins to bubble to the surface, and I hit reply. “I didn't ruin the relationship that was you; you chose her, you decided to leave the country, and most of all, you made it clear we are nothing but the scum from beneath your toes! So don't go placing the blame on me. I found the messages between you and her, and you had been planning to leave when I was sitting at my mother's deathbed.”

I hit send, then looked back at Damien, watching me type the message. I put my phone back down and leaned into him, kissing his neck, “I want to wake up to you too, but first, I want you to meet all my children.”

Damien moves so he can look me in the eye.

“Don’t say that because you are mad, and I want you to say it because you want me here.”

I look at him and nod my head. “I want you here. I know it is going to be hard, but I want to try”

I lean in and kiss Damien, trying to end the conversation, trying to avoid the fact that I don’t know what I want. Do I have so much trauma in my life that I make decisions based on anger or fear?

Damien doesn’t question it, and he deepens the kiss, pulling me in closer to him.

When we break apart, Damien smiles, “Tomorrow, we are taking the kids on a shopping trip; they have been through a lot over the past few weeks.

I sit back and look at him. “You want to spend money on my children?”

Damien grins. “I may not have a lot of money, but I want to show you that you don’t always have to be the one to support everyone; I know you don’t need the help, and I know you can afford to buy things yourself but let me provide let me show you that it’s not always your responsibility.”

My Jaw drops, not knowing what to say.

“You don’t have to” I mumble

Damien kisses me and pulls me into him, and we sit silently, enjoying each other's company.

I begin to get sleepy, but I don’t want Damien to leave, so I look up at him. “Come to bed”, I say, gauging his response.

He looks at me, “Are you sure?”

I smile. “Yeah, I'm sure,” I say as I stand up, taking his hand and leading him to my bedroom; he closes the door behind us and watches me get my night gown on. I look at him over my shoulder, “You can sleep on that side of the bed.”

Damien walks to the side of the bed I point at, and he takes off his shirt and pants. I look at him standing in his underwear, and I pull back the covers and climb into bed. Damien follows my lead, instantly pulling me closer to him. I reach over and turn off the lamp, leaving us in darkness; I move closer to him, enjoying the warmth coming from his body.