TO LOVE AGAIN

CHAPTER 3

THIS IS THE DAY. This is the day that we were really going back to the Philippines, and the day that was my brother waiting for. Actually, the day before and yesterday of the day before, he was so freaking excited. I don't know if he's excited to catch the wind again in the Philippines or he's excited to see one of my friends. Hmm. I know there's something fishy between them even if none one of them told me. From then on, my instinct was strong.

I zipped my suitcase after I put on the scarf I was wearing. It was good that I remembered that it was hot in the Philippines. Next, I retouched a bit and then I got out of the room, walks straight into the living room. As I coming downstairs, I saw Nicoli, very handsome in his suit. He's wearing a simple Pink V-neck shirt and white shorts but below the knee.

Seriously? I just raised my eyebrows when his gaze meet me as he saw me approaching him.

"Really, Nics?" I looked at him from head to toe at the same time as I crossed my arms. At any rate, Nicoli didn't really like expensive suits. He used to it even though I taught him how to make himself look genuinely in front of girls but he just only says, "I'm handsome sis, I didn't have to dress up expensive suits for them to like me." See, how his confidence reaches the maximum level.

Now, I can't imagine why my best friend likes my brother, aside from being handsome.

"What? It's comfortable. I can move freely." He said with a warm smile as he got what I was looking for in his entirety. I rolled my eyeballs again. When it comes to his fashion, I'm very judgemental.

"You guys ready?" Asks Mom, who's just come out from her room. He came to us with excitement.

"Yes, of course, mom," Nicoli says cheerfully.

"Yeah, you're too obvious, young man," I say, giving him a caustic smile.

"So, let's go? You two might be late on your flight!" Said mom and walk first towards the main door.

"Right, let's go!" Nicoli came to me."How about you? You're ready?" He worriedly asks.

"TSS. Of course. What a trash question. Come on let's go." I said with a force of a smile and wrap my hands around his arm and pulled him out of the house.

When we got out, we immediately get in the car followed mom immediately start the engine and drove away.

See you soon, Philippines. I hope I can make new memories again with you. Memories, where I can treasure and remember forever without getting, hurt.

I sigh out.

"Hey. You two, take there, okay? If there's an emergency, do not hesitate to call me. Do you understand? Take care of each other there, I'll see you soon. I love you both my babies." Mom hugged both of us when we got here outside the Airport. Time flies really fast, we are now out of the airport.

I heaved a sighed as mom let us go on her grip. I don't know but there is a part of my soul that seems like I want to get back in the car and go back home.

Gosh, Elisha. What's wrong with you. Yeah, what's wrong with me? I'm going crazy.

Again, I let out a deep sighed, and try to smile. "Yup. Well, see you soon, too." I say and give her a kiss on her cheeks. She rubbed my hair gently going on my cheek. After she did that, she faces Nicoli.

"So, see you soon my beautiful mom?" Nicoli said teasingly before she wraps mom with both arms.

"I will always be your beautiful mom, my son." Mom replies sweetly.

"Of course mom. I love you." Nicoli kissed her head.

"I love you too my son."

It automatically drew a smile to my lips as I watched them both comforting each other happily.

I realized, that I was wrong for hating my mom for so long just because she doesn't care for me and didn't have enough time to take care of me. I was wrong on that point, blaming her for all the shortcomings I thought she had made it intentionally. I was so much wrong for judging her because, to be honest, my mom was the best and amazing mom in the world. She raised me well by herself alone, she put all of her efforts in her work just to gave me a beautiful life as well as bright future, and not but not the least, she accepted and treated Nicoli as her real son even though it was dad's son with her friend. I knew it would be hard and painful for her but she made up her mind and chose to forget everything in order to move forward. Look, how amazing woman she is. I'm so lucky to have her. We're so lucky.

"Hey, Ish. Are you okay? You're crying."

I suddenly stop fantasizing as Nicoli suddenly asked me.

Damn. I didn't know that my tears were flowing. I immediately wiped it out. Damn. Why is it suddenly leaking without asking permission from me?

"Everything will be fine, baby. Okay? My daughter. My beautiful daughter." I feel mom's arms wrapped around me. It feels so good. I'm moved. I missed her, yet I really don't want this kind of drama's but I found myself hugging her back.

"I love you, mom," I whispered and taking a deep breath just to stop mu tears from dripping out again.

It's hard. When you have to take a deep breath because you knew that you're so close to crying.

"I love you too my baby." She caressed the back of my head. "Go ahead. Get inside, the plane might leave you."

"Yup, mom. See you soon again."

Nicoli and I hugged her once again before we go inside the airport.

Nicoli and I were in the middle section when we got inside the plane, and my seat is on the window side. This is really happening. See you a bit, the Philippines.

I took my earphones in my handbag pocket to put them on my ear. It took 16 hours for us to get to the Philippines, and with that 16 hours, I just wanted to sleep in. Yeah, I don't usually do eating inside the plane, just coffee. Because if I did, I know in a bit, I'm going to vomit. I have a light stomach.

"Ish, wanna have some chocolate?" Nicoli waved his hand holding Amedei Toscano chocolate in front of my face. He's freaking kidding me now. He probably knew that I don't eat inside the plane. I turned my head to him, raising my brows.

"Yeah, I know. Just kidding." He says and smiles teasingly at me.

He loves to joke around with me. Gosh, Nicoli. I wonder where did he get that clingy attitude.

"Don't disturb me. I'm going to sleep." I lazily say and close my eyes immediately. I haven't heard any comments from him since I put the earphones in my ear and hear the song coming out.

But then, I was about to sleep, totally, when the song played hits the bottom of the heart.

We had the right love at the wrong time.

Guess I always knew inside I wouldn't have you for a long time

My sense of urgency immediately seized on the first stanza of the song which wraps my ear. It reached my heart to cause it to shrink a bit. My eyes remained closed as my mind started reminiscing slowly the memories of two of us. With Nathan, at that time I did not know that he was my father.

Those dreams of yours are shining on distant shores And if they're calling you away I have no right to make you stay

This. This is right. It hits me. Really. I have no right to make him stay. I have no right to own him as my lover, because for the f*****g truth, he's my father, indeed.

But somewhere down the road Our roads are gonna cross again It doesn't really matter when

No. It will never happen. Our paths therein the earth will never meet again. Cause, he's dead, he will never ever come back.

But somewhere down the road

I know that heart of yours will come to see

That you belong with me

It wasn't us, who meant to be. We are not forever. We may be destined for each other to meet but destiny makes us struggles. And yeah, it hurts for me that in our love story, it's not me who is his leading lady. It's not me, who will end up with him. And even if he is still alive now, the faith will be still the same, it's not me, the girl, who will say I do to him.

Thus, he may not belong with me as my lover, but he will belong with me as my father.

I opened my eyes slightly, feeling my tears gradually build-up, not because I am hurt, but because I'm missing him so much. I missed him. I really do. Until one droplet of tears had flown down into my cheek. I just let it go until another droplet of tears streaming down on the other side of my cheek. Good thing, Nicoli got slept, taking his chocolate on his left hand so I moved closer to him and lowered my head to leaned on his neck. I feel comfortable as I place my head on his neck, cause I smell, dad's scent. He got dad's scent. He got dad's charm.

So even though Dad's gone, I feel like he's still here because of Nicoli.

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