The girl in the gilded cage *Completed*

Amber eyes

2 days later

*Malina*

I get ready to start training, wanting to get a bit done before my father gets there; he is always so demanding of me. Not only about my act but everything. I never really had close friends, and I have never been on a date. My show and the circus are my entire life.

When I walk into the ring, I hear someone scream and see one of the kids from the circus, Lucas he is called, fall from the low training rope. It might not be the high line, but it is still far enough to get hurt badly, especially if you are a kid or you do not know how to fall right. All the children are told not to play on the tightrope, but he probably wanted to show off to his friends.

"Lucas! Lucas!" I call his name as I kneel down next to him. He isn't opening his eyes or moving, but I can hear him breathing, and that calms me a bit. I slowly check his head and neck; I know what to look for.

I hear noise and look up, seeing that tall guy from yesterday, our new ringmaster, Josh was his name, come running in; apparently, he had heard the scream too. He comes over and falls to his knees. "Did he fall from the tightrope? Is he okay?"

*Josh*

I look at the kid on the ground, then at the figure next to him, realizing it is Malina in a trikot and ballet shoes. She is gently stroking the kid's head. "Yeah, he must have fallen. I wasn't in here. I think he is going to be okay. His eyes are fine, he has a bump, but his vision is clear. We could call the doctor, but I just think he needs some rest. His neck is fine too, nothing broken."

She has a soft and gentle voice, I notice, and she seems very caring about the boy. I look at him. "Why would you play on the tightrope? That was a stupid and dangerous thing to do. You could have broken your neck!"

"I don't know. Sorry," the kid says.

Malina smiles at him. "Just never do that again, okay, Lucas?" He nods and winces a bit.

"I think he has a small concussion," she says, looking at me. "Could you maybe carry him down to his family's trailer? He needs to stay in bed at least till tomorrow." She smiles. "This happened to me all the time in the beginning."

"Is that why you are brave and foolish enough to work without a safety net?" I ask her, only halfway joking. I pick up the kid. When she looks up at me, I realize she has the most peculiar eyes I have ever seen; they are almost yellow with a brown ring around them. They drill into mine like a bright light. It feels kind of overwhelming, and I want to look away, but I can't. She is enchanting.

"That is what my family does," she answers. She doesn't seem to be affected by my words. Her mother is dead because of this, and her father is in a wheelchair. It sounds like a really bad family tradition to me. "Come on, let me show you where he lives."

We walk through the area of the circus where the artists live. "Do you think we should get the doctor for him?" she asks. But the boy is alert and shakes his head.

I mimic his move and say, "I think he is okay."

When we reach the trailer, his mother comes running, and Malina explains what has happened. The mother opens the door, so I can carry Lucas inside and lay him on his bed. The mother looks at us. "Thank you so much for helping him and getting him here."

"No problem, just make sure he knows not to play on the tightrope again," I tell her with a smile. I leave the trailer, following Malina outside.

I must admit I am a bit shocked, thinking about what could have happened. "He shouldn't have done it, but the kids shouldn't have access to the tightrope and other dangerous things."

"I don't know who left it up. I always take it down when I am done practicing. A lot of people, especially kids, don't realize that even the practice rope is high enough that you can get hurt," she says. Her eyes are burning into mine. They are so intense. Standing there, I realize how small she actually is; she can't be much more than 5 ft., not much taller than a big kid, but she is a woman, and there is softness in her gaze as she looks up at me. There is something totally fearless about her, and that fascinates me.

"I am Josh, by the way. I am going to fill in for Joe," I say, extending my hand to her.

She takes my hand, and her small hand disappears totally in mine. "Malina, and well, you know what I do."

"Why do you do it? It is so dangerous. I saw you yesterday, and I got really scared for you up there," I say softly. She fascinates me. "I am sorry if I sounded harsh before; I just hate seeing someone do a thing like that."

"I used to feel nauseated," she admits. "But not anymore. I am never scared. That is why I am able to do it. It is the fear that makes you fall. If you are never scared, you don't fall."

It sounds too simple, too certain, and too optimistic, even for me. "And what if you do fall?"

"I don't," she says calmly. I can see that she is not lying; she feels no fear at all, at least not for walking on the high line. But it wasn't as simple; something had made both her parents fall, probably not fear, and they had both been trained tightrope walkers.

"But maybe you will someday. Isn't there some other way to give the audience that thrill?" I ask her plainly and simply.

"This is what they expect. This is the reason they come to see me," she says, and I know it is the truth. They love the danger and the risk. I had felt that yesterday, seeing how the audience reacted to her act.

I look at her curiously. "Is there anything you are scared of?"

"Horses. I am scared of horses, of riding them," she says with a small smile.

"I have a hard time believing that a woman who fearlessly walks on the high line without a safety net can be scared of being on a horse not even a couple of meters above the ground," I say.

"They are unpredictable. You never know what they are going to do. Up on the tightrope, I am only dependent on myself," she says, and of course, she is right.

"You can trust a horse to a great extent if it is trained properly. Maybe I can show you someday," I say, and she smiles, like she likes the idea.

Lucas pokes his head out of the trailer; he already has the color back in his cheeks. "Thanks for helping me, both of you."

"No problem," I say. Malina looks at him very seriously, her gaze saying she is serious, and I know she has an iron will. You can see it in her eyes. She might be tiny, but she has the will of a giant. She needs to be in control to do what she does. "Just never play on the tightrope again."

He nods and disappears again. Malina looks at me. "So are you going to live in the circus, or are you going to stay at hotels nearby?"

"I am staying here, in the circus. I am in trailer 33. You are welcome to come by any time for a cup of coffee or a talk," I say, hoping that didn't sound creepy.

"I might, someday," she says with a smile, and then she floats away, disappearing between the trailers, almost like she was never really here.

********

As I sit out in front of my own trailer in the afternoon, my home for the next couple of months, my thoughts slide to Malina again. Is her father forcing her to do what she does or does she like what she does? She looks like she likes it. To her, it seems to be a job like any other job. Actually, most people in the circus I have talked to so far seem to feel that way, like they have no idea how unusual their jobs seem to an outsider. But most of them grew up in the circus, some of them for generations.

I sigh and take a sip of the cold beer in my hand. She is so beautiful and seems so fragile, like she is made from the finest porcelain, but she is so strong and brave at the same time. And I find myself hoping she will come by to say hi. I kick myself mentally. She is only 22 years old, for God's sake; I am 36. I shouldn't be thinking about her in that way, but I can't deny the attraction. It is like my eyes are drawn to her. I walk inside, trying to push the thoughts away. The last thing I need is to have a crush on some way-too-young circus princess, and she would probably think me too old anyway.

But all my good intentions aside, she kept haunting my thoughts all day, and every day after that. I kept thinking about the look in her eyes when she talked about not being scared. And when she sat beside Lucas in the tent. There is something about her so fragile and strong at the same time. I try to forget everything about her, but I have had to realize that I can't.