The King's Return

16. ADMITTING THAT YOU'RE SCARED DOESN'T MAKE YOU WEAK

LOGAN'S POV

"What? Is there something wrong with you upstairs? Or maybe in this case down there?

"Shut up."

"No, no, no, I want to know. How is it that you spent hours in the woods with your mate, naked  by the way and still you didn't do anything."

"We did kiss though."

"Are you kidding me right now? Logan, do I need to take you to see a doctor? No, tell me, what is wrong with you?"

"Ok fine, I must've messed up a little."

"You messed up big time. Morningstar, are you getting cold feet?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Logan, you should be grateful that I'm your friend otherwise I'd be laughing at you right now. You love your mate, she loves you so I don't understand why you wouldn't have sex."

"It's not like that, I just feel like we need to get used to being together first before anything. I know once we start, I won't be able to go back.

"I told you before, she wanted to leave the very second she met me and I have no idea if she's going to sneak out again, you know what that means.

"Even as a human, I don't think I would've managed without her and now that I'm a werewolf, things are even harder.

"Making love to her or having s*x with her as you put it is not a problem, the problem is with what happens after.

"Leo is very possessive and so am I, I know I won't be able to hold back. If I sleep with her then I'll surely mark her and we'll be mated for life.

"There's no going back from that and you know it. I love Amira but I can't help but wonder if she's going to run from me again."

I don't know how I should explain this to Connor. I knew from the start that he wouldn't understand and yet I told him.

He has no idea how hard it was for me not to do what my body wanted yesterday, what I wanted but I tried to control myself and finally, it worked.

I know Amira probably think I don't want to sleep with her which is not true and I have no idea how to fix that.

"You're scared. I've never seen you so scared before." I didn't even notice he was watching me closely.

"I'm not scared."

"Admitting it won't make you weak. I'm just surprised, ever since I've known you, I've never seen that look on your face.

"Look, I know you're worried about your relationship with your mate but you don't have to. I have seen her and I saw how much she loves you and I know that because she wears the same look my wife always have when she looks at me.

"She's not going anywhere and you need to believe that. You should know that there is no relationship without trust and I fear you don't trust your mate."

"I trust her."

"No you don't, you just want to trust her but you don't. If you trusted her then you should've trusted her word when she said she was staying back.

"She wouldn't have said that if she didn't mean it and I'm sure she wanted you to trust her."

It's not like I don't trust her word, I just don't know how to react to all of this. I guess Connor is right, I am scared and maybe worried.

I've spent just a few days with her and already I don't think I'll ever be able to live without her. She's my everything and I'm afraid I'm going to ruin it.

I already messed up and I don't even know what I should do to fix it.

"I know it must be hard for you, you know adjusting to all this but you have to believe in yourself. you'll be great, I know it."

"I messed up everything Connor."

"I know, that's not important though. What is important at this time is that you fix it and try not to mess up again."

I guess he is right, just like he always is. If he wasn't an Alpha I would've asked him to be my advisor, he would really help me. He is the guy who always knows what to say.

"I heard Mama Morningstar is here, I haven't seen her for a while." My mother? How the hell did I miss that? I thought he was in Spain.

"I had no idea that she is here, she didn't say."

"s**t! I've definitely spoiled her surprise." I've never known my mother to be someone who likes surprise visits.

It's Alex's fifth birthday this weekend and now that I think about it, I think she is here for the birthday party.

'Alpha, someone wants to talk to you.' I heard Jake's voice in my head. I'm used to it by now even though it feels weird sometimes.

'Who?'

'Sebastían.'

'Now why would that motherfucker think that I'm willing to talk to him? He's lucky he is alive and you tell him that.'

'Yes, Your Highness.'

I feel like killing that motherfucker. I was this close to killing him yesterday, if Amira didn't stop me, he would be history right now.

I was angry when she did, I felt betrayed. I don't think the pain that I felt is something I've felt before. It was like he was choosing him over me and I hated that.

I know they are friends but it still annoys me that she wants to protect him even after what he did. He made passes at her but to her, it's nothing serious.

He knew he was playing with fire and he deserved to be burnt but my very forgiving mate decided he deserved a second chance or in this case a third chance.

"I gotta go and check on my mother, I'll see you later," I told him before making my way to her room. Even though she is rarely here, she has a room assigned to her that she uses every time that she is here.

I can't believe she came here without informing me, she always tells me before boarding. Every time.

AMIRA'S POV

"You set me up! How do you want me to forgive that Maya? I trusted you!"

"I had no idea. I thought I was just helping him talk to you, he didn't say anything about the two of you having an argument. I wouldn't have helped him if I knew what was happening.

"You should've told me everything. You are the one who kept telling me that I should forgive him and I took your advice, I didn't know he was a wolf in a sheep's clothing.

"Ok that doesn't make sense since he is a real wolf but you know what I'm saying. He just told me that you weren't picking his calls and I decided to help. I'm sorry."

Ok maybe I'm just overreacting, I shouldn't blame her for Sebastían's mistakes.

"I'm sorry, I'm just angry at myself. I should've listened to you when you told me that Sebastían is just like any other guy."

"He's been our best friend for years and we always want to see the goodness in him. It's hard to think of him as a bad guy.

"I know I was angry at him for the wrong reasons but I feel like he deserved it. Julían is his brother after all and he had no right to give me false hope."

"What do you mean?"

"When Julían rejected me I was a mess. You know how much I loved him and I always asked the Moon Goddess to bless me with him as my mate.

"I never wanted anyone else and I even saw a future with him. I was going to be fine after a while but Sebastían made it even worse.

"He kept telling me that Julían was devastated and that he couldn't move on. He couldn't even bear to look at other women.

"I believed him and every day I would wake up with the hope that I would see him waiting for me at my doorstep and I didn't give up.

"I was so naïve Mira, I should've trusted my gut and tried to move on from him the second he rejected me and I know I would've succeeded if Sebastían didn't interfere."

Oh my God! I didn't know any of this. I've been focused on my own problems and expecting my friends to always be there for me that I even missed the signs.

I always thought Maya was having a hard time moving on because she had loved Julían since she was a child.

I used to think she was just having a childhood crush but as we grew older, I realised she really loved him.

Our parents always thought they were going to be mates and they were right, what they didn't know though was that he was going to reject her the moment he learned they were mated.

"I'm just glad I never even thought of dating him before I even found out we were mates otherwise the heartbreak would've been more painful than it already was.

"I loved that bastard so much, I think I still do even after all this madness. How pathetic is that? I don't even want a second chance mate because all I see is him and even my wolf still wants him.

"She doesn't want to accept that we got rejected because she thinks his wolf didn't want to reject us."

I don't know what I should do, talking about him always bring tears into her eyes.

I love Logan but I don't think I would still hold on to him if he decides to reject me. I guess maybe in her case it is different, I mean she loved him before the mate bond.

Logan is perfect and I don't want to ever part from him but I know if he rejects me that I would try my best to forget him.

Thinking about him makes me think about yesterday. I thought I was going to lose my virginity last night and I know it would've been nice but I don't know what is wrong with him.

I don't know if he thinks he's going to break me somehow. I'm not fragile and he is my mate, I know he would never hurt me on purpose.

I would've been cautious at first but that was then, I didn't know what to make of him at that time but now I know he is a good person.

I want him to make love to me and I'm going to try my best to show him that I'm not fragile.

"Why don't we go out? Maybe do some shopping? There's a mall nearby and Logan said I could go anytime I want and get whatever I want."

"Really?"

"Of course, anything to make you happy. Besides, I have to buy a few things for my brother-in-law's birthday party."

"Your brother-in-law?"

"Yeah, Alex's birthday is this weekend and his mother asked me to help her organise it. I believe we could use this opportunity."

"We can get anything?"

"I have Logan's credit card so yeah, we can get anything we want, he said so himself."

I don't really need to use his card but since he insisted, I will use it. I can even get a gift for Alex even though I don't know his favourite things.

I've never had a baby at home and my cousins don't really allow me to visit their homes. My brother's kid is still young and I've never met him so he doesn't count.

"Let me go and change and then we can go. I need some fresh air and going to the mall will help me forget about Julían for a while."

She smiled at me and went to her room while I went to mine, or more like Logan's. He insisted that I move in with him and since I enjoy sleeping and waking up in his arms and chest...

You know I wouldn't turn down such a tempting offer. I agreed without thinking twice.