Mixed Fates

Chapter 20.

Zander Pov.

“Zander! You are not ready to just go out into the world to hunt down some girl!” my mom yells at me.

“Ariel.” Mommy says in a calm voice.

Mom pushes her hands through her hair angry and starts to pace around. We are all standing together in the kitchen. I have just told them that for the past three weeks I have not been able to take the chat with papa out of my head. I have to find Mia, she is going through the same as me and I need to talk to her to make sure that what happened happened. Looking at my body I have no reminder that something happened. Mommy took that away from me when she healed me.

“What? You want me to just send him off with a smile? He just got home! He was kidnapped, tortured and goddess knows! He is not ready to leave the safety of home!” she growls.

“Mom! I am twenty years old! I can’t just sit around here and sulk! I need to find my own way and I need to figure out how to live with what happened and to find out what happened!”

Signing angry does not give it the intensity I want but I know they got the point.

Papa Jaxon just stands there quiet watching us argue. Mom is very against it but Mommy is more about letting me go but wants to come with me.

“Yes you are a grown up man but you just came home from a traumatic experience, everyone would need more time to deal with it. You looked seconds away from death when I found you” Mommy Ísa says in a very calm and authoritative voice.

“Well that's it isn’t it? I am not at death's door anymore! I have nothing but the demons inside me to deal with”

Her face scrunches up.

“If I could take them away as well then I would”

I just look at her, I don't know how to answer this. She would just take everything away? I am touched, she would want to take my pain away but trying to take every evidence away sounds very much to me like she wants to brush this under the rug.

“Yes but I am not up for memory wash so I feel like going away on my own and find her, I can begin to heal and maybe help her heal”

“You have no money! You have no experience traveling! You don't know where she is! You don't even know if she is in this continent”

Papa pulls mom into his arms and she visibly relaxed.

“Of course your mom is just nervous and we will give you the money and if you want us to call around to ask if someone knows anything about your friend then just let us know.”

“That would be a big help. If you could help me navigate a little where I should be looking”

“I will start calling around right away” papa says while moving from behind mom.

A loud growl stops him in his tracks.

“I have not given my blessing for this! He can not just walk into other wolves' territories asking about a witch!” mom growls.

“Well I am not leaving today so we can talk about this a little later”

I walk out of the kitchen and right into one of the omegas that makes lunch almost every single day so I see her quit a lot.

“Sorry!” she screams and lowers her gaze to her shoes.

I just give her a polite smile and keep walking outside. There are not so many people outside right now but some. I walk around the house to Mommy’s little small house, it has moss all over it with some flowers and herbs all around it. It kind of reminds me of the gingerbread house from Hansel and Gretel, just made from earth. I push my magic into my hand, feeling the tiny little world wind in my palm makes me want to throw it to the ground and make it bigger.

I don't feel anger towards my family or towards the people that kidnapped me. I feel hatred but I don't have this need for revenge or to know they are dead and buried. I feel sadness, I feel depression and I feel like life is just not worth living.

I stop the magic, shake my head and keep walking into the house. The house has a low ceiling so I am careful but not bending. There are some pictures of Mommy’s family that I have only met one time before. Pictures of our life here with this pack. Pictures of people I don't know but know they are mommy’s old friends. There are vines and plants everywhere. Charms hanging from the ceiling and covering almost every inch of the windows.

This is a witch's house.

I walk into the kitchen, the window is open with the herbs poking in from the window sill. I walk to the knife's hanging on the steel bar on the wall. They are all mismatched and that is because for some potions you can't cut the plants with a silver knife or a steel one. I pick up the glass one from the wall. The blade is made from glass but the handle is made from timber. Without thinking about it I grab the blade with my arm and squeeze it as hard as I can.

Blood starts spilling all over my hand and I let go.

Looking at the wound I am scared.

I can’t feel it.

The cut is very deep, the blood starts to pool on the floor.

My magic is begging me to heal it. I have to keep it away from getting to my hand as I just stare at it turning white from loss of blood.

Why can’t I feel the pain? Did they hurt me so much that they have numbed me from pain unless it is lethal or bone crushing?

“AAAHHH”

I spin around to see Asher staring at me with a terrified look on his face. He is just staring at the blood from my hand and on the ground. I lose my grip on my magic and it jumps at the opportunity to heal the cut.

“Asher, I just…”

I can not lie to him, he is my little brother.

“I cut myself and I am sorry you had to see it”

I lean over and pick up a rag to drop on top of the blood pool. I move over to him and pull him away from the blood so his back is too it.

“Asher, its okey. I am okey. Look at me”

His eyes find mine and I can feel my magic connect my mind to his. He is scared for me, he is scared of me and his feelings are so mixed for me.

“Zander, I don’t want to lose you again”

I push some reassurance into his head.

“Ash, you never lost me to begin with. I just was away for a little while and I am just going away for a little while again”

He breaks eye contact and crosses his arms on his chest.

“When you find your mate, people leave to live in their pack”

I move my weight over to one leg and cross my arms as well over my chest.

“I am not looking for my mate, I am not a wolf so I don't even think I have a mate but don't worry man. We will grow old together and never be apart” I say teasingly.

I bump my shoulder to his shoulder putting up a fake forced smile. He looks up at me now smiling too.

“Mom bought a permanent house in crazy town since you left”

I wrap my arm around his head and push him into my armpit, messing up his hair. Trying to ask as brotherly as I can but it just feels forced and foreign.

“Well then she is not far from you in losertown, now get out of here and I will see you later”

I push him towards the door. He takes a few steps but then he stops and I can see his shoulders drop.

“I know you were kidding but I really hope we do grow old together as brothers. I do love you as my brother and having you gone was the most horrible time of my life”

He does not look back at me but just walks away out of the house. My eyes land right away on the blood still there on the ground. I walk over to it and clean it up. Then I just stand there in the house I grew up in thinking if life is really worth living.

Maybe Mia or this travel can help me to find something to life for.