He’s Not Yours

The Emotional War

After many tears and desperate planning, I plaster on my game face as I check my appearance in the mirror. The dress I’m wearing is stunning and really draws attention to the hourglass figure of my body. I’m not so big headed that I think I’m stunning, but I can appreciate when clothing, makeup and hairstyles look good on me. This is exactly why Simon chose me. I’m all for show. His pretty little orphan girl that he took under his wing, gave a job and married her. What a gentle, caring soul he is. I roll my eyes at the thought of how far from the truth that is.

Simon appears behind me in the mirror and I see his appreciative gaze travel the length of my body. Before today I would have been so happy to see him look at me that way, now I only feel creeped out.

“I’m glad you came to your senses baby girl, now let’s go take everyone’s money for the poor orphans.” He says and holds out his arm for me to take. I ignore how handsome he looks in his black suit and take his arm with a sigh.

We arrive at Smalls Hall and I’m nothing but smiles as we walk the red carpet arm in arm, pausing briefly for photos before the event begins.

I sit at the bar alone knocking back drinks as I listen to Simons' big speech on how passionate he is about raising money for disadvantaged children because he never wants a child to suffer the way his poor fiancé did and blah blah blah. How did I not see he was just using me for this all this time? The night passes by in a blur and as the guests start to leave, I notice Simon getting very friendly with a female guest. I can’t watch anymore and decide to go outside for some air. My head feels fuzzy from the alcohol and the cold chill soon sets in. I glance back through the window and see Simon still busy with the blond. I turn away in disgust and set off with determination to walk home, it’s not far, maybe 15 minutes. 25 in these heels. I’m about half way home when an engine comes roaring up behind me. I glance at the car and increase my pace as it pulls up beside me.

“Get in the car Derry,” Simon demands from the car window.

“No thanks, have fun with the blond,” I quip back.

“Oh, I intend to, but first I need to take you home,”

“Leave me alone,” I shout in pure frustration.

“Is this man bothering you miss?” An unfamiliar voice interrupts before Simon can respond.

“Yes he is,” I respond turning to face the stranger. My eyes travel up and up to see the huge man before me. He’s got to be well over 6 feet and built from pure muscle. He steps up to Simon's car, putting himself between us.

“You heard the little lady, she said leave her alone, now move along,” he demands.

“She is my fiancé, and she is drunk, so mind your damn business”, Simon responds.

The stranger turns and gives me an assessing look before facing Simon again.

“She looks fine to me, and I don’t see no ring on her finger” he snarls. I can’t see Simon around the hulk standing in front of me, but by some miracle Simon drives away without another word.

“Thank you,” I say with a sigh of relief.

“A fine man you got yourself there,” he snorts. “Can I give you a ride somewhere? I’d recommend letting him cool off for the night if I was you,”

“Erm… thanks, but I don’t have anywhere else to go,” I wrap my arms around myself and rub them to try and generate some heat.

“Then to pass some time let me buy you a drink, the names Hawk by the way,” he says with a kind smile and a hand held out to shake.

“Thanks Hawk, I’m Derry” I shake his hand and he leads me into a small cocktail bar a few doors away.

He ushers me into a small booth and we give our drinks order to the waitress.

“So what brings you into our little town Hawk?” I ask to try and distract from my embarrassing situation.

“How do you know I’m from out of town?” He responds with a smile that just instantly fills me with warmth and makes me want to be closer to him, to touch him and never stop. I shake my head a little to break the spell, damn maybe I am more drunk than I thought.

“You don’t talk like someone from around here,” I shrug and try to avoid making eye contact with those big blue eyes.

“Neither do you, so what’s your story? How did you end up here and agree to marry such a massive prick?”

“That’s a long story,” I laugh as the waitress arrives with our drinks.

“I have time,” he says with a grin and lifts his glass to me in a little toast before taking a drink and sitting back to listen. I contemplate what to say for a minute before deciding to give him my story. A story I’ve never really felt comfortable telling anyone before, but something about this man makes me want to tell him. I tell him everything, from being abandoned as a baby, my journey through foster care and how I was working as a waitress before seeing a job advertisement for a new events hall opening up. How I applied for the job and how Simon had interviewed me, how he’d asked about my family and seemed extremely interested when I told him I didn’t have any. He even offered for me to stay in his guest house until I could find a place to live. I told him how hard I’d worked to make Simons' business successful and my suspicions that he’d used me all along as a way to give him a good image and how my life had all come crumbling down in the last 12 hours. That Simon has financially trapped me and that I had a plan to leave but that it will take time. Hawk listens intently, ordering more drinks as I talk and when I’m finally done he lets out a slow whistle.

“You’ve not had an easy life huh. I wish I could help you, but I’m only in town for one night,”

“You’ve already helped me enough and I’m sorry I’ve taken so much of your time. Thank you for stepping in and for listening, I guess I should head home now,” I give him a genuine smile and stand to leave, ready to go and face my fate.

“Wait,” he stops me, grabbing my hand, “Maybe I can help you some more,” he says with a devilish smirk, the deep blue of his eyes sparkling in the dim light.

“How?” I ask dubiously.

“Spend the night with me,” he blurts.

“What?” I gasp out, shocked and slightly offended he thinks I’m that kind of girl.

He stands then, pulling me close and bringing his mouth to my ear, the feel of his breath sending tingles racing down my body.

“I know this is very forward of me, but give me one night. I will make you forget that prick for a few hours and you will get some revenge, a revenge f**k, just two consenting adults having a one-night stand, that’s it,” he whispers in a way that almost makes me moan and agree.

“I..I can’t, I’m not…”

“Shhh, you can, unless you don’t find me attractive? Did I mistake the lust in your eyes every time our eyes met? Tell me I’m wrong. Because I’ve been hard since the moment I caught sight of you. I’m going to go to the bathroom. If you are still here when I return, I’m taking you back to my hotel with me. If you’re not, then I’ll find someone else to spend the night buried inside of whilst I imagine it’s you. The choice is yours Derry.” He says before stepping away from me. I suck in a shaky breath and try to process what the hell just happened. I glance around the bar to see if anyone had just witnessed that and catch a few envious glares from women. I bet they’d all jump at the chance for a night with Hawk. Maybe he will take one of them home tonight. That thought fills me with a jealous rage that takes me by surprise.

“Good choice, let's go,” Hawk takes my hand and leads me out of the bar. I follow in silence, my emotions at war with what I should do until he lifts me, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he pushes me up against the wall and crashes his lips into mine. His tongue takes advantage of my shocked little gasp as he slips it between my lips, and then we have clear winners in the battle of emotions … lust, desire, hunger. I kiss him back with as much passion, and all the guilt, shame and immortality fade away.