He’s Not Yours

The Morning After The Night Before.

I awaken to the sound of running water. Stretching out I feel aches in pretty much every part of my body. s**t! What have I done? I frantically scramble from the bed to retrieve my clothes. I slip my dress on and search for my underwear. The water stops suddenly and I freeze. I can't face him, I just cant. If I don't see him, then it never happened, right? I snatch up my shoes and handbag and sneak as quietly as possible to the door. I hesitate briefly, glancing back towards the bathroom where I know Hawk is. I bet that's not even his real name. Why did I tell him mine? I'm such an i***t. We agreed to one night, that happened and it's done. With a determined breath I slip out of the room, closing the door on my mistake and moving on with my life. Once I'm at a safe distance from his room, I stop and slip on my shoes. Then I begin my walk of shame back home, keeping my head down, as no doubt I have mascara smeared all over my face. I arrive home to see Simon's car is not here and rush to get in the house before he gets home. I bet he spent the night with the blond. The hurt and anger begin to all come back, but then I think of what I did last night and smirk. Hawk was right. That was just what I needed to get me through what I have to do next, pretend to forgive Simon.

Once I’m showered and dressed in less formal clothes I head downstairs for food and painkillers. I assess the kitchen as I wait for my toast to pop. Everything is as I left it and no dishes in the sink. Simon definitely didn’t come home last night because there’s no way he would have washed a single pot. I try not to think about where he spent the night and focus on myself and my plans. With my stomach fully lined with tea and toast, I head to the medicine cupboard and dig out some much needed paracetamol when I hear the front door slam.

“Rough night?” Simon asks, and I take a calming breath before forcing myself to smile and face him.

“Yes, I definitely drank too much but these will fix that,” I respond and gesture to the paracetamol before popping them in my mouth and drinking them down with some water. “How was your night?”

Simon gives me an assessing look before responding.

“It was fine” he says hesitantly.

“Good, I’ll make us some coffee,” I say with a smile and brush past him. As I’m preparing the coffee machine he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waste and kisses the side of my neck. It takes everything in me not to bristle at his touch.

“I’m glad to see you’re in a better mood today,” he comments before going to sit at the breakfast bar.

“Yeah, well I had all night to think things over,” I lie. “Can we just forget yesterday ever happened? I don’t want to break up over something so silly. I think our relationship is strong enough to move past this.”

“Are you being serious?” He asks. I turn to face him and place his coffee in front of him then take a sip of mine, ignoring his disheveled look.

“Yes, I mean we aren’t married yet, so technically you didn’t break any vows. Lets write this off as some pre-wedding fun before we fully commit to each other,” I shrug. Simon eyes me suspiciously, not quite believing my lies. He picks up his coffee and sniffs it, watching my reaction.

“For Christ's sake Simon I didn’t poison your coffee,” I laugh and take his mug from his hand, making a show of gulping some down before handing it back.

“So everything is fine? Just like that you’ll forget yesterday, never speak of it again?” He asks.

“Yes, we never speak of it again. We move forward. Continue as we were,”

“Okay then,” he smiles and rises up to kiss me. I step back and laugh.

“Go shower, you stink. I’ll make you some breakfast.” I tease.

****

As afternoon approaches Simon leaves to go play golf with his friends as he does most Saturdays. I wait until I see his car disappear from our street and jump into action. With my coffee and laptop in hand I shut myself into the guest bedroom. I’ve decided this room will be my new operations headquarters and safe sanctuary. I have no bad memories in here and Simon never uses this room.

In 2 short hours I have launched my new online business as a wedding planner under an alias. I have multiple social media pages and even some fake reviews from profiles I made. Phase 2 of my master plan will begin tomorrow at our weekly lunch with Simon's parents. I spend the rest of my day sorting through our wardrobes, picking out the most valuable items and hiding some of Simon's less worn designer stuff in the hopes he won’t notice it’s missing. One way or another, I’m determined I will get the money owed to me and leave this pathetic excuse for a man.

Simon usually has dinner and drinks at the golf club after his games and doesn’t get home until later in the evening, so I set myself up on the couch and watch TV. I plan to be asleep before he returns or fake sleep so he will head to bed alone and I can avoid sharing a bed with him for the night. After the events of the last 2 days I’m exhausted and fall asleep quickly. My dreams are consumed by Hawks' deep blue eyes.

I wake up early the next morning and creep upstairs to find Simon sleeping peacefully. In an effort to keep up appearances that everything is fine, I crawl into bed beside him and then make a fuss about getting up. Making sure he wakes up enough to notice me getting out of bed, he will assume I joined him in the night and slept beside him. He quickly dozes back to sleep, leaving me free to enjoy my breakfast and cup of tea in peace.