Starting Over

Chapter 17

Chapter 17Janet sat in her car in the parking lot of Sal's Bistro looking out at the failing blue sky. Tonight was dinner with Andy. She'd dressed conservatively. A gray cashmere pullover and black slacks. A topaz necklace dangled from her neck and a pair of studded silver earrings dotted her ears. She took a deep breath, got out of her car and headed for the front door of the mission style restaurant. As she walked under the soft yellow incandescent glow of the overhead lantern lights, she fixed her gaze straight ahead. The bistro was busy tonight. Through its divided, paned windows she saw people gabbing around candle lit tables.

It'd been a while since she'd been here, reserving visits for family birthdays and anniversaries. Why she'd suggested Andy meet her here for dinner when he'd called was beyond her. She pulled back the wood planked door and stepped into the warmth of the cozy, cream-colored stucco lobby. There, she found Andy sitting on a cushioned window seat. He got up and met her by the coatroom.

“Here, let me help you with that,” he said, stepping around behind her. He slipped her jacket off her shoulders and darted into the Coat Room beside them.

She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbing her elbows, fidgeted as she waited for him to return. “Been waiting long?” She called back to him.

“Just a few minutes,” he said. He came out and stood in front of her. “You look lovely tonight.”

She twitched, fighting the urge to look away as he drank her in with an adoring gaze. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome.” He escorted her to the receptionist. There they checked in and were led to their table. He glanced at the window beside them. It overlooked the pond on the treed lot. “This is nice.”

“It's one of my favorite restaurants,” she said as she watched his gaze sweep the room, taking in the ambiance of candlelight, European table settings and the blazing fire in the hearth.

At last, he said, “How was your holiday?”

“It started out not so good, but ended up wonderful,” she replied, remembering the look on Nate's face when he finished looking through the book she'd made for him. Even now, three weeks later, the memory tightened her throat and made her heart swell. She smiled, knowing Andy would understand how she felt. “I made a connection with Nate.”

He smiled. “How so?”

She took a sip of water. “A year before he re-enlisted, I'd started a genealogy search on his father. It was supposed to be a gift for him when he came home. But of course he never came home so I kept working on it. And…well…with everything going on between us, it just made sense to give it as a Christmas present. It worked!”

“That's fantastic. And what a great idea,” he said. He drank a sip of water, set his glass down and sat back in his chair. “I know how worried you were about him.”

“I still am, but he's less distant now.” She unfolded her napkin. “So, Nate told me he has a new job.”

“Yeah. He's my new webmaster; started this morning. It's really something watching him buzz around my site, pointing out things I could do using this other provider he's going to get me on. I don't understand all the html stuff, but I get the gist of it. You have a very bright son.”

She beamed as Andy pulled a pair of wire-rimmed glasses from his pocket and took up the wine menu. As she watched him peruse it, the last of her jitters subsided. Furtively, she studied the solidly built man with a square jaw and full lips. Tiny creases formed in the corners of his eyes when he smiled. Dimples dotted his ruddy, windburnt face. When was the last time she looked at a man like this? She couldn't remember. At last she said, “Thank you for that.”

The waiter approached their table. “Good evening, I'm Sean, and I'll be serving you tonight. Would you care for anything from the bar, perhaps a glass of wine?”

Andy looked up. “Could we have a minute?” When the waiter left them, he lowered his wine menu. “Would you be interested in a bottle?”

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“I was thinking a Cab might be nice. They have a Montelena Cabernet here.”

She blinked. That's a pricey bottle. “Yes, that'd be fine.”

He gave her a friendly wink, set the menu on the table and pushed it aside. She could tell he was nervous. Fact was, she was, too. She reminded herself it wasn't a date. Just two people having dinner. Nothing more, nothing less. But still…

“So, anything else going on in your life?”

“Well, I organized an award ceremony here in town,” she said.

“Oh, really? For what?”

“The Alzheimer's Association. I got shanghaied into volunteering a couple years ago.”

He chuckled. “I know what that's like.”

“The VA,” she said, as the waiter arrived with their bottle. The man uncorked it and poured a splash in Andy's glass. After Andy accepted it, the waiter gave them the rundown on the specials, then retreated.

“The salmon looks good,” Andy said. “And, yes, the VA, although it didn't take a lot of arm twisting on their part.”

“It didn't take much for me either.” She scanned down her entrée selections. “I can't decide if I want the Lobster Thermidor or the filet, although the Veal Piccata looks good.”

He grinned. “Maybe we should just order page one of the menu.”

She giggled. “So, I'm a piggy?”

“Not at all,” he said. “Gonna have to watch myself with you aren't I?”

She smiled as she enjoyed watching him scramble for a comeback. At last she said, “That would a good idea. Anyway, I'm going with the lobster.”

By the time the band started in the next room, Andy had her laughing so hard she could hardly contain herself. It was good to laugh. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this way. They talked on and off, sharing pieces of their lives as they listened to music by Billy Joel, Kenny Rogers, Air Supply, and Hall & Oats. By the time the second set started, it was like they were old friends.

He polished off the bottle of Cab and leaned forward. “Can I interest you in a dance?”

The question caught her off guard. “I don't know…I–”

But he got up and came around the table. He extended his hand. “Promise I won't step on your toes.”

She looked up and saw his beguiling smile and didn't have the heart to say no. She took his hand and they strode to the other room. As they hit the dance floor, the band launched into Billy Joel's Piano Man. He drew her to him and before she knew it, she was totally lost in the moment. She pulled her head back, looking at the man who continued to surprise her, felt the warmth of his body pressed against her. Suddenly she wondered if she could get used to it.

He winked and twirled her around. “See, I told you, you had nothing to worry about.”

“Worry about what?” She was confused.

“Me stepping on your toes,” he answered, and swung her around again.

“Oh, that. Never doubted it.” She moved her hand down his shoulder onto his back, felt the dampness of his sweater and his taut muscles beneath. “You've done this before, anything else I should know?”

He shrugged. “If I tell you everything now, how will I get you out again?”

“Oh, so your plan is to lure me along, huh?”

He tilted his head. Grinned and spun her around. “Is that a problem?”

“Might be,” she said as he pulled her back into his arms. “Depends.”

“On what,” he said as the song came to an end.

She let go of him and patted his shoulder. “I need to make a visit to the ladies room.” She left him scratching his head and drifted through the crowd to the far side of the restaurant. Things were moving just a little too quick, but it wasn't Andy who was responsible– not entirely anyway. It wasn't his fault her body was tugging at her for more. She needed space to collect her thoughts as she entered the powder room.

The wine was definitely a factor, but she couldn't deny the feelings that were running rampant through her body. She took a deep breath and stared into the long mirror across the vanity, glad they'd driven separately. The evening was supposed to be just dinner, but now everything was turned upside down. She thought about the impending 'goodnight parting' at her car door. Would he lean in for a kiss, and if he did, could she stop herself from wanting another? How in the world was she going to make a graceful exit? The idea this night could turn out the way it did baffled her. Yet here she was, contemplating what it would be like to see him again–and again.

She took a deep breath, gathered her wits and told herself to snap out of it. But the minute she left the room to head back to their table, her heart revved back up. When he saw her, he stood and waited for her to take her seat. “I was about to send the troops in after you.”

She slipped into her chair. “Afraid I got lost?”

“Something like that.” He paused and the smile left his face. “I can't tell you what a good time I've had tonight. I'd like to do this again, if you're interested.”

There it was! A second date, which would lead to a third and a fourth, until what? Yet, how could she say, no? He'd been a perfect gentleman. “I had a wonderful time, too. Can I think about it and give you an answer later?”

He nodded. “Sure, I'm in no hurry.”

“Okay then.” She glanced outside at the full moon. “It's getting late.”

“Tab's taken care of.” He got up and they wove their way around the empty tables to the coatroom. After helping her on with her jacket, he guided her out into the cold, crisp air. “Where you parked?”

“Over there.” She pointed to a parking lot lantern raining light on her car. When he put his elbow out for her take hold of, her breath grew short. Well, here goes. Her mouth went dry as he escorted her under the blackened sky. When they got to her car, he turned toward her and for a moment she couldn't breathe.

“Well, I guess this is good night.”

She smiled. “Drive safe.”

“I will.” He nodded, and with a slow, easy movement, leaned in and kissed her gently on the cheek.

A rush of air gushed out of her as he pulled back. Not what she had expected, but then, nothing about him was ordinary. She pulled her keys from her purse and opened the door. After she was in and safe, he turned and headed into the night.

Janet thought of Andy all the way home. It was supposed to have been a simple dinner. She shook her head as she turned onto Old Cypress Road. He's nice, okay better than nice, but this was a mistake. It can't happen again. Except, she couldn't get him out of her head. She sighed as she saw his smiling face in her mind's eye. It had felt good being in his arms. But where can it go, and how would it look to Nate? She turned into her driveway and followed the snow-covered pavement through the wooded lot to her home. Inside, she saw lights on in the Great Room. Megan's car was parked in the turn around. Why is she home?

She got out of her car and pulled her coat snug around her neck as she shuffled through the freshly fallen snow to her front door. When she opened it, Megan was waiting on the other side.

“Well, look what the dog dragged in and the cat turned down,” Megan said with a lilt in her voice. She glanced at her watch then looked back up at Janet with an impish grin.

Janet ignored her and tossed her purse on the pedestal table. She hung up her coat. “Thought you were spending the weekend with Ben.”

“Yeah, that was the plan,” Megan said, shutting the door behind them. “But his daughter Angela popped into town out of the blue. Seeing how she's never met me, we thought it'd be a good idea to keep things on the Q-T. So…how was the date?”

“It was dinner and it was good,” Janet said. She glanced at the TV as she headed to the kitchen. It was, at present, airing a car commercial. “So, anything interesting on?” she called back over her shoulder.

“Umm…Saturday Night Live.”

Janet opened the cupboard door. Took a mug down. “Oh, that's right.”

“Where'd he take you?”

“Sal's.” She put a kettle of water on to boil, opened a canister and tossed a bag of chamomile in the mug.

Megan pulled a stool out from under the island countertop and sat. “Sal's? He really pulled out all the stops.”

“I was the one who suggested it.”

Megan blinked. “Really?”

“Well, he asked me where I wanted to go and I sort of blurted it out.”

“Right,” Megan said, drawing the word out.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. It's just that Sal's is a couples place on Friday nights.”

Janet rolled her eyes, but knew Megan had nailed her. “It was just dinner.”

“Uh-huh. How was the band?”

“They were fine,” Janet answered, wanting to get out of this conversation. The teakettle whistled. Saved by the bell!

But Megan tilted her head and gave her the look she'd seen so many times before: the one that said, 'Go on, I'm waiting'.

Janet poured her tea and stirred in a dollop of honey. “Ok…we danced to a couple of songs.”

Megan c****d a brow.

“That's all!”

“You don't have to apologize to me, Jan. Dad's been gone two years now. But, Nate: he's a different story.”

Janet sighed. “Yes he is, which is exactly why nothing is going any further with Andy.”

“You keep telling yourself that,” Megan said. She grinned as she tapped her nails on the countertop.

“Will you stop? Look, even if it all worked out, how does it end? I mean, at some point he'd want to…”

“Screw your brains out?” Megan said, and snickered.

“That's not what I meant, and you know it,” Janet said. “You know, you're getting slutty in your old age.”

“And I think my dad has rubbed off on you a little too much. You overthink things.”

Janet frowned. “Really? Look, if I were to go out with him again, I'd be sending a message I don't want to send. Say nothing of what Nate might think.”

“True statement,” Megan said, getting up. “Personally, I think it's no one's business what you do or don't.” When Janet opened her mouth, Megan cut her short. “I'm not done yet.” She reached out and squeezed Janet's hand. “I saw how you loved dad. That's forever, but it doesn't mean you can't love someone new. You know you wouldn't be replacing him, just creating a little more space for someone else.”

Janet blinked. Those had been Neil's exact words to her years ago, regarding his deceased wife, Sharon. Suddenly, the memory of him saying them to her came roaring back. Could she do what her husband had done: find a place for him to live inside her while making room for another?