Room 143

Chapter 9

Nash

“See ya tomorrow," my other brother, Jameson, says as he clocks out for the day. “You sure you don't want me to help you close? Austin helped you open."

“He didn't help me do anything, both you and I know that."

A sardonic grin tugs at the corners of his mouth. “True, he's more trouble than he's worth."

The two of us have been playing this game since we were little; we'd been fine as brothers, didn't need another, but here Austin had come. Baby of the family with the good looks, and all my mom's adoration. We'd been jealous when we were younger, and while we aren't really now, we still like to give him sh*t.

“Don't stay super late." Jameson gives me a look. “Go out and do something fun."

“Yeah." I wave him off, not paying attention when he turns, walking over to his truck.

Looking out over the parking lot, I see Caroline's car is still there. Realization strikes that we're here by ourselves. Sh*t. Glancing over to the bay window, I see her hard at work on something. My steps are slow, dragging, as I go across the concrete floor. I would give anything not to go speak to her, especially with us being the only two here. I knock on the doorframe.

“Hey, it's quittin' time."

She's wearing a pair of glasses, one's I've never seen her wear before. Not that I've actually seen her wear much, but that's beside the point. They give her a smart look, makes me want to mess her up and knock them off her face.

“I figured I'd leave when you do. Ya know, make a good impression." She takes the glasses off, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “There's a lot of information that hasn't been inputted, that needs to be. Your mom really was doing just the basics."

“Yeah." I grimace. “I know, but the truth is she's not really cut out to work the office. She's at her best being a mom, getting into all our business."

“She seems like a nice lady." Caroline reaches over and takes a sip of the drink sitting to her left.

It's funny what you notice in certain situations. Her glass is sweating, a puddle forming on the wooden top of the desk. There's a straw sticking out of what looks to be water, or maybe Sprite. Her lips wrap around the top of it, reminding me of how she wrapped those lips around the tip of my d**k. I know I shouldn't be imagining this right here, right now, but I am. Think about Mom, I tell myself, think about Mom.

The absolute worst thing I could do here is pop a f*cking boner.

“She is," I squeak out before clearing my throat. “My mom, she's a super nice woman, but she's sh*t at office work. She does what she can and that's really all I asked of her."

We're quiet as the two of us look at one another. It's not as awkward as I had imagined it would be. Maybe we can be adults about what happened. Maybe there won't be a day when I look at her and see her without her clothes on.

“C'mon, I'm closing up."

She looks like she wants to argue, and honestly right now, I'm not in the mood. It's been a hot day, and I've been tense, knowing she's around. I'm thankful when she nods then begins shutting down the computer. My eyes follow her as she picks up her drink, throwing it in the trash. I don't mean to walk her out, I really don't, but it works out that we do. Bailey waits with her as I go through, checking to make sure everything is turned off. She's speaking to Bailey in soft tones. My girl, she's not shaking her nub, but she's sat down, and is paying attention to what Caroline's saying.

As I walk up to them, I hear Caroline say something about a treat.

“Don't promise my girl things you can't come through with," I joke before I set the alarm and close the door, making sure to lock it. “She takes her treats very seriously."

“Does she?" Caroline's eyes are bright, almost dancing.

“Hell yeah, she knows what treat means, and now I'm gonna have to swing by the butcher's on the way to work tomorrow."

Worry crosses her face. “I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to make more work for you."

“Nah, it's been a while."

Both of us stop, remembering those words from our weekend together. We'd both said something of the sort. Her cheeks blush bright red, and even though her eyes flitter down to her feet, I know she's thinking the same thing I am.

“Let me do it," she offers, putting her hand on my shoulder. “What is it she likes?"

Nobody has ever picked up Bailey's treats, not even Katie. It's always been me. I'm torn between letting her do it and gracefully bowing out of whatever this is. Something stops me from bowing out, and I find myself telling her what to pick up. “Just tell him you want something for Bailey. He saves them for her." I reach down, petting her on the head when she sniffs my palm.

This time her face beams. “I'll have it tomorrow." She leans down to Bailey. “I promise." She holds her hand out, giggling when Bailey shakes. “Oh my God! I didn't know she could do that."

“She's a dainty girl." I throw back, deadpan. “I mean just because she wears a black collar with pink skulls doesn't mean she's a heathen," I joke.

“Of course not." Caroline straightens, pushing her hair back out of her face.

The wind is blowing and wisps of it have gotten got in between her lips. I wish like f*ck I didn't notice that. I've got to get out of here, and fast. “We'll catch you tomorrow, Caroline."

“See ya." She waves as she walks to her car.

I watch, longer than I should, and if anyone were to ask me, I'd say it's because I'm a gentleman. The truth is I can't pull my eyes away from her, and damn if that's not a major f*ckin' problem.

*****

At home tonight, I'm more aware than ever of the emptiness. The space echoes. There's nothing to capture the loud sounds as my steps reverberate against the hardwood. Bailey's nails tippy tap too, the only other sound besides me. For a long time, I would keep the TV on every hour I was home, just so I could have some background noise. I've moved on from that, and usually the silence isn't that big of a deal.

Tonight it is.

Because I'm thinking about sh*t I shouldn't be thinking about. Remembering how it felt to be with Caroline. I try to push it out of my head, but I can't. It's there live and in color. My d**k rises against the fabric of my boxer briefs and even that is f*cking torture. I've jacked it a handful of times since Katie died, every time it was too our one hot, out of control encounter we ever had, but I can't feel her lips anymore, can't remember the way she gasped when I hit a spot she liked.

Tonight, as I put my forearm over my eyes and slide the palm of my hand down my stomach and under the waistband, I'm thinking of someone else. As my fingers wrap around my length, I'm hearing and seeing Caroline. For two seconds, I think this will be enough, but when my fingers tighten, it throbs, growing harder and longer in my hand.

“F*ck." The word is ripped out of my throat. “It feels so good."

I don't know who I'm telling. Bailey's in the backyard, running out her energy before I let her in for the night, and as far as I can figure, I'm in the only one in my home. But it does, it feels f*cking amazing. Pushing the waistband below my balls, I run my hand up and down the length, gathering fluid at the tip, and working it all the way down. The groan works itself from deep inside my throat as I jack harder, setting a rhythm to get me off.

In my mind, the weekend before plays, flashes of time where this was the only thing I was thinking about. Caroline is smiling at me, encouraging me to keep going, begging to see me erupt against my stomach.

Reaching down, I cup my balls in the palm of my hand, squeezing them as I continue the up and down motion, gathering not only speed but confidence that I can finish this. My breath is coming out in accelerated gasps. Sweat drips down my stomach, gathering along with everything else. Thrusting my hips, I mimic a f*cking motion, knowing I have to end this. “Sh*t." I'm not sure I can; I need more.

Turning over onto my stomach, I get up on my knees, f*cking my fist, hanging on to the headboard as I swing my hips back and forth, mimicking the motion. This is it. Every single part of my body tightens, and as I explode, I roar. Surprisingly, I cry too. The tears fall before I can stop them, and it feels just as good as the physical release did. This is a step, one I'd been scared to take. One I honestly hadn't ever thought I would, but tonight, after what could have been one of the most uncomfortable days of my life, I'm moving forward.

It's not easy to be proud of myself, but I am. Super proud I didn't take one step forward and five steps back.