Obsessed with his Past

Chapter 4 Cover up

Chapter 4 Cover upJORDAN'S POV I was dazed at Jora's question. Was she eavesdropping on my dad and I's conversation? How did she know that Dad isn't happy that I married her mum? I stared at her and forced a smile. Of course I wasn't going to tell her the truth, not because I wanted to lie to her but such a thing as dislike for her mother by her grandfather shouldn't be known to her. " How can you say that baby? Your grandfather loves your mum.." I was telling her when she threw my hands off her shoulders. She walked a few distance from me and crossed her arms around her chest " You are lying to me daddy. You don't love me anymore right? How can you treat me like a little baby?" Jora reprimanded me. I was lost. She knew I was lying and trying to cover up for her grandfather? But isn't she a little girl? How was I supposed to treat her? Before I could say anything in defence, I saw my daughter run off, cleaning the tears off her eyes. I was moved. I stood up gently and straightened myself. I hate to see her cry, to see tears in those beautiful eyes of hers. That's my weakness, I hate to see tears in Rachel's eyes, except when she has those exaggerated laughter she often does to amuse me. Same goes for Jora. I went after her and followed her into her bedroom. On the wall was Rachel's picture like it is in my room. A lot of kiddies' designs and drawings were in the room. The wall was painted pink, a feminine colour.

On her little bed lay Jora sobbing. She hugged herself and was sniffling when I approached her. " Jora my love" I called her. I walked over to stand in front of her and pulled the seat close to her bed and sat down. " Don't talk to me daddy. I hate it when I am being lied to by my father.." Jora declared. She turned her back to me and hugged herself still. I sighed softly. Telling her the truth that my dad detest her mother and never approved my marriage with her is like planting an unhealthy seed in the heart of a little girl. What good would that bring her or dad? Dad loves her and accepted her as his granddaughter, that's enough for her to know. But seeing her like this, I felt like I am responsible for her tears. Looks like I am between a rock and a hard place.

" Jora dear, you know that a daughter should make her daddy happy. And the only way you can make me happy is to believe whatever I say to you. I love you, grandma and grandpa loves you. Your mummy loves you right up there in heaven. This is your family and we all love you. I don't want you to fill your head with things that won't bring you any good. Don't think or be concerned about your grandpa's likes and dislikes for your mummy. What is important is that she's happy where she is and we are happy here and know someday, we will meet her again. Ok?" I sermonized her. I touched her hair, and asked her to turn and face me. She shrugged and I threatened her that I would leave that day if she kept sobbing. It worked like magic, it always worked whenever I came around and I wanted her to do something. I will use the same method, and it always worked. She turned and glanced at me. " I heard grandpa saying you disobeyed him and married my mummy.."

Jora was saying and I interrupted her.

" It's not good manners for a kid to eavesdrop when adults are talking. Why did you do it?" I frowned at her. That was the only way I could cover up that topic. She heard dad yelling at me and saying unpleasant things about her mother. I wouldn't be able to defend my dad nor say that dad was joking, lying or referring to someone else. The best thing to do was scold her in the only loophole I found. Jora nodded. She seemed to be frightened by my frown. Anyone would. When I frown, it makes people around me calm down. I don't know why but I can't explain it either. I stayed with her a few minutes longer and watched her doze off. I stood up, covered her with a quilt and kissed her temple before stepping out. As I shut the door, I glanced at her again and smiled faintly. If Rachel had been alive, we would have lived together with our daughter. She wouldn't have been living with my parents, nor hear what she heard that evening. It was as if I was just getting angry with what my father said. He had allowed his words to affect my daughter and I don't like it. It wasn't anything to me again to hear him fuming with displeasure with every decision that I make. He's never approved of my decisions and paths that I take. But making it so glaring and obvious that even Jora heard and knew how her grandfather felt about her mother is something that is unacceptable by me. I was now going to my room when I heard my mum call me.

She said she has been waiting to have a discussion with me but saw me going to Jora's room, she lingered till I came out. I squinted, waiting to have a discussion with me? Well, I have to listen to her, whatever makes her wait so long while I was with Jora must be something that bothers her. I let her come into my room and I sat by the edge of the bed and mum took the sofa. She looked worried and unhappy. I stared at her and wondered. Mum was lively and happy when I arrived earlier in the day. Why the sudden mood swing? " Jordan, how have you been doing lately?" Mum asked me, she looked at me with eyes that depict pity. She seemed to want to go teary. " I am fine mum. Everything is good" I replied and I saw her sighed audibly, holding her night wear close to herself as if she was catching a cold. I asked her if I should turn off the air conditioner in the room and she said no, she's fine. I waited, she was quiet for a while and didn't know how to begin her words. I was guessing, what she wants to say, does it have to do with my wife Rachel?