One Last Time

Chapter 5

Brooklyn

I was feeling a little light headed as I practically ran out of the bar, leaving Abe behind me. My lips were still tingling from his kiss, and my cheeks felt warm, though that could have been from all the mimosas I'd had.

On the street, I held a hand up to hail a cab, and lucky for me, it was just the right time for cabs to be flooding the area, bringing people out to have fun and taking back those that were already done. As soon as a taxi stopped In front of me, I jumped in, worried Abe might follow me, and I didn't know what I would do them.

Damn. Just...damn.

"Where to, miss?" the driver asked, making me realize we hadn't even left.

I gave him the address I was heading to, surprised at how shaky my voice sounded. I brought my fingertips up to my lips, and felt them trembling. Actually, I felt like my whole body was trembling. And all just because of a kiss from Abe.

Did I really think I could move on from this? I thought to myself with part sarcasm and despair. How the hell could that be possible when he can play my body so easily, like he was born to do it. I'm never going to find someone else like that.

The thought might have been a bit overdramatic. I wouldn't be the only woman in the world that didn't end up with her first love in the end, because that was what Abe was to me. He'd been all my firsts, and while I was still too young to be saying he would be my last, in that moment, I truly believed it, and I was scared.

"Miss? We're here."

I looked up. I hadn't even noticed the car came to a stop, but right outside was the apartment building Nora got me a place to stay at.

"Um, thanks," I mumbled, looking through my purse for some bills. I checked the meter then handed the cash over and got out of the car.

I hope Nora left, I thought as I walked inside the building, wrapping the jacket tight around me because of the cold weather. If there was one thing I hated about New York was how much colder it was compared to home. The sun was almost always out back in California, but there, even when the sun was out, I'd still feel like I was freezing because of the wind.

When I got to the apartment, I paused outside, listening. Nora should have left right after me, but she also had a spare key to the place. It was how she could get in and out while I overslept every day. After taking a few seconds and hearing nothing, I pulled out the keys and unlocked the door. I pushed it in, still listening. The place was dark, and I turned on the lights.

"Nora?"

I walked through the rooms, and only when I was sure she really wasn't there, did I close the door. I leaned back against it, my thoughts naturally going back to that kiss.

Why did he do that...why the f**k would Abe do that to me!

I could feel my whole face burning. Maybe it was the alcohol? Whatever reason, he thought I was about to get married, and he could still do something like that. Had Abe really changed so much since I last saw him?

Or... did he actually regret what happened before?

I shouldn't be thinking that way, but I couldn't help hoping for it. I still loved him, after all. Even if we still didn't end up together, it would make me feel better if he still felt the same way that I did. Thinking we'd both suffered the past six years made me feel just a little better.

At that moment, though, there wasn't only pain. My body felt painfully aroused, even with the distance I'd put between Abe and me in a hurry, just thinking back to that kiss was enough to get my body fired up.

Since I broke up with Abe, I hadn't dated anyone. The only person I'd ever had s*x with was Abe, and I had been celibate after that. I didn't even touch myself, not like I did before I knew what s*x with someone else felt like.

It was a bit embarrassing, even thinking of going back to those times, but I was desperate. It had been so long since I'd felt arousal, and I didn't just want the feeling to die.

I walked into the bedroom, turning off the lights in the rest of the apartment. I locked the bedroom door, then stripped bare and went to the bed. I tossed the covers aside then lay back with my head on the pillow. I looked up at the ceiling as I placed both hands on my stomach, stroking lightly, my hands moving up until I cupped my breasts. My hardened n*****s brushed against the palm of my hand, making me gasp and arch my back slightly. They felt so sensitive, and I squeezed my breasts in my palms, rubbing over the n*****s. Sparks of electricity ran through my body, and I was throbbing between my thighs.

Should I...watch something?

When I was still a curious virgin, I'd watched porn like a lot of teenagers. The first time I came across one, my body felt strange, and I kept watching. I would touch myself as I did, and then feel ashamed afterwards. It wasn't until way later that I figured out just how to touch myself to experience an orgasm. And then a couple years after that, I lost my virginity to Abe. I'd never had to masturbate by myself after that.

I sighed. I don't even have any toys. Not that I need any, but this is different.

Back then, I'd been too scared to use more than a finger because it would hurt. And, in my misguided youth, because there was no way I would be ordering from, or walking into an adult toy store, I found somewhat safe items to use.

It should be fine. I can just use more fingers.

Thinking that, I raised my knees and set my feet on the bed, spreading my legs open. Before sliding my hands lower, I paused.

There was a better way to do this. It meant putting it off, but I got up and went to the bathroom. I'd need to clean up afterwards anyway, so I turned on the taps and started filling the tub. I made sure the water was on the hot side, then stepped into the tub. I fondled my breasts, occasionally sliding my hands down to tease at my pubic hairs, but I didn't touch myself where I wanted to the most. Instead, I let the anticipation build until I was feeling achy and empty.

I was impatient. While the water was still filling up, I sat in the tub. It was just the perfect shape for me to sit down with my back against the other end of it, with my feet beneath the tap. It curved a little under my ass so I didn't have to worry about slipping. There was a handheld showerhead mounted against the wall, and I was at just the right position to pick it up. I looked over it a bit, then turned it on. I yelped at first because the water that came out was cold, but I readjusted the temperature, then the water pressure until it was just where I wanted it. Biting down on my lower lip, I parted my thighs, lifting my knees, and brought the showerhead between my thighs.

"f**k," I moaned, tilting my head and arching my back. My other hand played with my n*****s as I circled the showerhead around my s*x. The water pressure was high, and as water poured over my clit, it made my body shiver with pleasure. I pressed the showerhead as close as I dared and let out a loud cry as my hips trembled, wanting more pleasure.

Quickly setting the showerhead aside, I used my toes to turn off the flowing water from the tap. The water wasn't as high as I would have wanted yet, but too much of it would just be in the way for this part. I licked the fingers of my right hand and brought them between my thighs, spreading my lips to rub my clit. I moaned and trembled some more, pressing down harder as I rubbed in circles. It felt good, but it wouldn't be enough to come, not even when I pinched my n*****s at the same time.

I need more.

I licked the fingers of my other hand and brought it down between my thighs, under my other hand. I teased the fingers at my entrance, then slid a finger inside my body. I was biting hard on my lip as I slid it slowly in and out, circling a little around the entrance. Then, I added a second finger. I had tried this before, and it had hurt so much I never did it again. It was different now, the two fingers slid in easily, and they weren't enough. So, I added a third finger, and thrust them in and out of me.

My breathing was coming out in pants, and in my mind, I imagined Abe was there. I still remembered the proportions of his body, and when he'd held me close earlier, it didn't feel like his body had changed much. If anything, he'd become even more muscular. Then, I imagined Abe watching me with the same hot gaze he'd showed me at the bar. I let out a low whine as I moved my hands faster, one hand thrusting fingers in and out of me, and the other rubbing furiously around my clit.

Still not enough, I thought in frustration.

I pulled my fingers out and licked them until they were soaked in my spit, then continued. My hips shivered as I curled my fingers with every thrust inside me, moving my fingers faster and faster. My body squirmed and I let out a few moans and cries, my toes curling as my legs pressed to the sides of the tub. I could feel the pleasure start to grow, originating from where I touched myself, and then my spine went taut, my walls convulsing around my fingers and wave after wave of pleasure flooded my body as I continued rubbing furiously on my clit, clinging onto the orgasm for as long as I could. My n*****s stood out, two hardened nubs, and goose bumps spread on my skin as a chill swept through my chest.

When my body stopped convulsing, I gentled my hands, then eventually stopped. My legs were weak as I repositioned them, my whole body trembling and feeling weak from the force of that orgasm. I lay back and closed my eyes, soaking in the tub a bit. After a few minutes, once the aftershocks died down, but with my body still feeling heavy, I turned on the tap so more water could flow.