One Last Time

Chapter 3

Brooklyn

I sat on the bed, hugging a pillow as I watched Nora going through my case, in a daze.

What the hell am I doing?

It was Friday, the day Abe and I would meet up. The whole day, Nora had kept me company, and we didn't even talk about any wedding stuff for once. I had been panicking for most of the day, while she read me the riot act, but when I got the text from Abe, she was the first to jump up. I felt she was more anxious about this date than I was.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Nora asked, pausing to look at me over her shoulder.

Her question finally brought me out of myself, and I uncurled myself from the bed. Butterflies were fluttering in my stomach, and I really wondered if I could go through with this.

"I already said I would go," I muttered gloomily.

"That doesn't mean you have to go," she said explosively. "After what he did to you, what does he deserve from you? Nothing! Brooklyn, you shouldn't even still be thinking about him."

"But the problem is that I can't forget," I sighed.

Nora gave me a look for of sympathy, and I turned away.

It wasn't like I'd forgotten what Abe had done, I didn't think that was even possible. How could anyone possible forget the worst day of their life?

After we graduated, I knew Nora would have to go back, and I knew I would miss her. But Abe... I'd hoped he would stay with me in California. He'd told me he could find a way, and I believed him. When we graduated, I thought we had our whole lives ahead of us, and I thought he would propose. We would get married, move in together, and start a family...everything we'd talked about.

In the end, none of that happened. Instead of the proposal I'd expected, Abe told me he had to go home.

Abe hadn't told me much about his family before that point, and after I knew his background, I realized why. If I had known his background from the beginning, it would have been easy to think I approached him because of his family. Abe Sanchez came from old money, and his family were billionaires. With his tall build, hazel eyes, dark hair and good looks, I would have had a lot of competition over him in college, if he hadn't been so low profile, and been the one to come onto me in the first place.

After college, when I thought we could start a life together, Abe told me he needed to go back home to take over the family empire. For various reasons, he couldn't commit to me.

When he'd told me all that, the one thing I'd thought, was how badly I wished he'd come from an ordinary family, just like I did.

"Maybe this would be good for you," Nora said, trying to sound hopeful. She rose up and moved to the bed, sitting beside me and putting an arm around my shoulders. "You can finally have the closure you didn't get six years ago. And if the two of you are going to talk, try to get that bastard to apologize to you for what he did. If he'd known things were going to end up that anyway, he shouldn't have been leading you on."

I bit down on my lip as pain flooded my chest. That had been my biggest worry, over the years. When I fell for Abe, I gave myself over to him completely, and I didn't think I could ever do that with anyone else. But, what if Abe never felt that way about me to begin with? He was obviously meant for bigger, better things. Someone with his background could only end up with someone from the same world as him, and he should have known that.

So, what had those years we'd spent together been all about?

"Let's just see what happens," I mumbled. "Who knows... he might be the one to bring it up. Besides, as far as he knows, I'm getting married..."

Nora had turned my things into a mess, but I managed to find an appropriate outfit. We were going out to a bar. Since I was new in the city, Abe had offered to pick me up, but I didn't want him to know where I was staying, so I'd gotten him to give me the directions. As long as I got in a cab and gave them to the driver, I would make it.

This was New York, a city that was way colder than Cali, so I only had a few dresses, most everything else were jeans and tops, and I figured it would be good enough for this. I picked up the outfit, and started changing.

It was a red dress that clung to my curves, with ruffles down the front and long sleeves. I paired it up with a long black trench coat to keep out the chill. It was one of the few dresses I'd bought along, one that was fairly long and made of thick fabric, so I didn't have to worry about freezing to death in the evening weather. I turned to Nora with my arms held out, eyebrows arched.

She clapped enthusiastically then gave me two thumbs up. "You look absolutely amazing! He's going to see you and weep forever letting you go."

I smiled. "Thanks."

There was no way I could completely let go of the anxiety, but I was going to at least appear confident on the outside in front of Abe. I looked through my shoes and found a pair of black high heels, and I pulled them on. Then, I sat back on the bed with a small bag I pulled from my luggage. Inside, I had a mirror and some make up.

I pulled the stuff out, but as I held the mirror in one hand and a make-up brush in the other, I realized my hands were shaking. I looked helplessly at Nora, and she sighed.

"Let me do that for you. Just sit back and relax, okay? I've actually gotten way better at this since the last time we met."

"How did that happen?" I asked, mildly curious. Nora was already good at applying make-up, just a step away from professional level.

"Well, I have been planning a wedding, you know? And it's not like I intend to do my own make-up. I found an artist that I'll be working with on the day, and she gave me a few tips. You'll look amazing tonight, trust me."

I was tempted to bite down on my lip, but she poked my cheek until I stopped. She directed me to close my eyes, and I could feel the brush move gently over my skin. I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax.

It's just a few drinks... you'll survive. I hoped I would, at least.

"You've gotta know this is a bad idea, though, right?" Nora asked quietly.

I sighed, and nearly opened my eyes, only I felt something touch my eyelids, so I kept them closed.

"Nora, I know you're worried. Believe me, I'm not sure if I can do this myself, but I can still try, right? So I can get closure?"

"What I'm really worried about," she said, her voice full of frustration. "Is that instead of any sort of closure, you'll just end up getting hurt again. I wasn't the only one that saw the way he was looking at you at the bridal store."

I hunched in on myself a little. "He was probably just surprised to see me."

"Yeah. He was surprised twice, and the second time was because he noticed the dress. You're not...please tell me you're not doing this because you think there's a chance he might still love you?"

Was I? I asked myself this question, not sure if there was even an answer for it. Did I even want Abe to still be in love with me? After so much time spent apart...could I dare to try and rekindle things between us? I would have liked to say that wasn't possible, but then, why would I go out with him knowing it would only hurt later?

For a long moment, I said nothing, thinking over my answer. Nora took the chance to speak up more to try and get me not to go.

"I'm sure I don't have to remind you why this is a bad idea, right? Not only are you a grown up, I doubt you could have forgotten just because half a dozen years had passed."

I bit down on my lip, only to feel Nora poke my cheek with the opposite end of the brush, and I released it.

"Brooklyn," she said, her voice gentling. "I was there for you after he broke up with you. Because I knew you weren't okay, I spent the summer after graduation with you in Cali until my parents made me come back to New York City."

"You were enjoying the beach your entire time there, it's not like it was a chore," I retorted in a mumble, trying not to move my lips too much as she was still working.

"None of it was a chore," she said firmly. "You're my best friend, of course I would be there for you. I mean, the beaches were nice, but my priority was always you. You know yourself how heartbroken you were after Abe left you. What if he does the same thing again? Are you just trying to punish yourself, or what? And even if you are, there are better ways to go about it besides ripping your own heart out of your chest."

Every word out of her mouth hit the mark, and I was having second thoughts about whether I really needed to do this. It would be better if I just stood Abe up and told him I wanted nothing more to do with him. It was the least he deserved, after all. But, even as that thought rose up in my mind, I could feel threads of reluctance. Because I could lie to myself, but I knew I wanted to go.

"I think it'll be better if I just go," I said slowly.

Nora made a sound of frustration. "Brooklyn - "

I cut her off. "Think of it this way. I only have a few days left to stick around here. It doesn't matter if I see him this time, because once I go back home, there won't be any more chances. I just...want to have this last time, then I'll leave, and I'll completely cut off all contact with him. I don't think we could meet again, even by coincidence, right?"

Nora held her words back for a bit, and I waited nervously for her answer. I trusted a lot in what Nora said, and if she really insisted on me not going to see Abe, then I wouldn't go. My mind wasn't in the right place, and I knew I couldn't think objectively about this. Nora, though, had been with me the whole way as I struggled to get past him and failed thus far.

When I could finally open my eyes, I looked at my best friend's frowning face and held my breath. After a moment, she sighed.

"You might as well go, then," she said, sounding defeated. "If anything, you'll at least get some revenge on Abe. He should feel a bit more regret for what he did. Clearly, he doesn't feel enough if he thinks asking you out for drinks is the right thing to do after everything. And you will be leaving, anyway, so if you can leave him guessing, then good."

I smiled at her assessment, and got up to see my look in the mirror. I was pleasantly surprised. The make-up didn't look too thick, you could barely tell I'd used any. It was a subtleness Nora hadn't had before, and I believed her when she said she'd improved. Suddenly, my confidence was kicked up a notch higher.

"All right," I said, picking up my purse and checking the time on my cell. "It's almost time for me to head out. I will go, I will be out of reach. And I will end things with Abe once and for all."

I said the words, feeling full of determination, and faced my own expression as I tried to brand these words in my mind. I wasn't going to let Abe see even the lightest weakness. He was going to believe I would soon be a happily married woman. If it didn't affect him at all...then whatever. But if it did, then good.

"Do you want me to go with you, at least to get you to the bar?"

"Thanks, Nora, but it's okay. I need to do this by myself. And after... I'll go back to California and find love. Real love. For now, as long as Abe believes I've moved on, it'll be enough."

I ran my hands down the front of my coat, a nervous gesture that I couldn't help. I turned to Nora, and she gave me a pat on the shoulder.

"Yeah," she added. "Even if it's a lie, it'll be fine as long as he believes it's the truth, so you need to act like you've never acted before."

I nodded firmly, then turned to the bedroom door, ready to leave and have the closure that I'd been hoping for...for too many years.