LoveClub

1 Lili-1

1

LiliWednesday, 17th of August

10:13 pm

The bar-pianist at the Juliet was playing a painfully mushy, joyous melody. This is the end! Lili felt vulnerable, but in a way, she didn’t really mind. Although she hated it, Lili secretly missed this feeling, the same way she missed the boy who had lured it out of her. Despite her self-respect constantly whispering that what she’s doing is absolutely crazy, she was unable to say no to herself. Had she skipped the last two glasses of red wine, she could have perhaps taken control of her desires, but being rather tipsy, it was out of the question. She was enjoying herself, greedily glancing at the boy who ruined her life eight months ago.

I need his c**k! Back at home, she wanted Bence’s d**k as a trophy. Now, here, she wanted it differently. What’s such a small amount of wine doing to me? I’m totally going to swing outside myself. She started to fantasize, and almost even felt his hand crawling up her thigh, pulling her legs apart. She imagined his body pushed up against hers, and while kissing, becoming one.

Come on Lili, put on your most rigid look! She was afraid that soon it would become obvious to Bence that she… well, wasn’t that indifferent about him. Stay mysterious!

“I’m really happy that you came,” Bence said to her. He seemed brainwashed with his timid, innocent smile.

He came across quite respectful, considering what a d**k – actually, what a complete asshole – he had been before. Lili was musingly staring at him. Her gaze kept being drawn to his meaty lips, though they didn’t give the impression of a hardcore kisser. His green eyes, long lashes, and perfectly arched eyebrows gave him a passionate, warm look. The summer sunshine lent his hair a bleached feel and a bronze like tan to his skin. Yet, behind that angelic look, there was a sextremist. He was one of those dominant types, and it was in his nature to rule over others. As a teenager, he constantly tried to escape from the expectations of his wealthy family. As a consequence, he became set against, but never really managed to shake, the upper-class bourgeois values which were instilled within him from the moment of his birth. He really did enjoy being able to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted. When Lili managed to put her pride aside for once and had to be honest with herself, she realized that she had fallen in love with the boy’s pompous style. At first his pride had angered her. Then she tried to resist it, but before she knew it, she had fallen victim to it.

The boy unexpectedly held Lili’s hand. His clammy touch made her realize that he was nervous too. But why would he be? He probably really wanted something from her, because he pretty much used all the tricks you could find in a ‘Dating for Dummies’ book: “Take the girl to a ridiculously expensive place… dress f*****g neat… be stupidly kind.” Yet, he still didn’t make his intentions clear. This just wasn’t like him at all. Maybe he’s ill? Maybe he’s got me infected with some sort of disease that I haven’t realized yet?

Lili finally forced a smile on her face, and carefully pulled her hand away. Even if she wanted to, she couldn’t have reacted more keenly in this sort of situation. She still couldn’t get her head around what was happening. What am I doing here? She had, nonetheless, been seeking a good excuse from the moment Bence suddenly appeared a week ago, and invited her out to dinner at one of the most expensive restaurants in the city. Her first reaction to his phone call was frustration; had he asked her face-to-face, he would have most certainly received a vicious slap across the face. However, Lili’s anger soon gave way to thoughts of revenge, and so she immediately began to plot her villainous scheme.

She wanted vengeance for being used, for him acting like a prick, and for opening up the old wounds he had left behind. While she schemed and carefully selected the various physical and psychological tortures that she would inflict upon him, a curiosity arose within her. She wanted to know what happened on New Year’s Eve, when the boy suddenly disappeared from her life without any notice. Why did Bence leave her all alone, haunted with doubt? If he wanted to end their relationship, then why didn’t he just tell her straightforward? Why couldn’t he just say to her “Lili, my dear, it’s over”? She wanted answers. On her way to the lavish restaurant, the courage to get the answers she so desired raged within her. This won’t be a date; this will be an execution. However, when she finally arrived to the Juliet, she caught glimpse of the boy standing and waiting in a suit, holding a bouquet of roses. In an instant, all her evil little plans for revenge vanished into thin air. Bence’s look alone had disarmed her. She felt like someone had poured a whole bucket of warm love all over her. By the time they sat down inside the restaurant, she already had seamlessly drifted away with the flood, and was looking forward to hitting land.

She waited.

And waited.

But nothing in the goddamned world happened. Not even a word passed their lips while they were dining. They were careful not to make the slightest mistake, as to avoid upsetting each other. The only thing they achieved with this, though, was that they just didn’t say anything to each other. The conversation was hardly blooming. The questions seemed foolish and the statements were insulting. They seemed apathetic toward one another, acting as though they had to listen to each other’s boring stories everyday for years. Lili was lucky, because there was a large detailed painting hanging on the wall behind the boy that she could look at. However, she could not imagine what Bence found so interesting about the old women sitting at the other table. She even thought it might be funny to ask Bence if he wanted the old women’s phone number, but decided to keep her mouth shut. She couldn’t trivialize the situation; seeing as she’s the one who has been insulted, the boy should be scraping hard to get some sort of good atmosphere flowing.

“You look fantastic tonight,” Bence’s discreet look started to dissolve, as he slowly gazed towards her décolletage.

Here we go! Lili scowled and naively took a deep sigh – so deep that the cocktail dress she had borrowed almost tore apart at the bust. Clothes such as this normally made her feel uncomfortable, but Bence’s choice of restaurant demanded this kind of elegance. Seeing as her wardrobe was missing all basic elements of formal wear, she had to settle for her roommate Carmen’s size smaller, and in any case already tiny, red dress. She felt like a tied ham, not to mention the killer nine inch stilettos that were crushing her toes terribly. She felt like one of those floozy bimbos hanging around the bar, waiting for some rich, married businessmen hiding their wedding rings in the bottom of their jacket pockets. Or just like one of those characters out of s*x and the City who’s not that shy about getting laid on the first date with a fresh escort – who of course, isn’t as perfect as he first seemed at the murky bar. Maybe it’s the same gloominess making Bence appear so attractive?

The time was passing by in awkward silence. The discreet playing of the pianist somewhat raised the ambience of the place, but the recently opened and super hyped Juliet turned out to be fairly boring. Normal, everyday people seem to think that the rich are always enjoying life, living the dream, and are constantly throwing money away. The latter is true enough, but the marble-floored lounge looked more like a luxury crypt than a pleasant restaurant. This was probably because most of the guests there were suit and dress wearing business people, who hardly had anything on their minds other than new investments or stock exchange rates. Lili felt uncomfortable with the sterile environment and Bence was visibly uneasy with it, too. Although his family was part of the upper class, the boy never actually felt like he belonged to the luxurious lifestyle. He still maintained the look of a little puppy surrounded by the top dogs (which, as a matter of fact, he still was.)

Lili was hoping that Bence hadn’t intended on impressing her with the Juliet, because not only had he then failed, but had once again proved how much he actually misjudged her. She would have been much happier visiting one of the local bars and just talking about the latest buzz and gossip. Eat a burger, have a couple of beers. Barely audible, Lili started drumming with her fingers on top of mahogany table.

A waiter came over to them and collected their empty plates. Bence had pasta, while Lili was satisfied with a simple salad. Her stomach had knotted up because of all the excitement anyway, and it wouldn’t have been such a great idea to have an abundant feast wearing that tight cocktail dress. Not to mention that all the female guests were pretty much just pecking at their food like chickens, so it would have been unseemly to order anything more than a half portion of nothing.

Just as usual with Bence nearby, Lili’s thoughts automatically started wandering to s*x. What is happening to me? Her body was revolting against her common sense. It wasn’t really much of a surprise as it had been a long time since she last had any physical contact with a man. She had only been with two guys since Bence disappeared, but neither of them had the spark she needed. There is a difference between an orgasm and an orgasm. She would rather wait for that spark, unlike all the other girls in her world, who would easily get laid with any nice stranger. However, in her abstinence, Lili had become a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. The only consolation she had was a plastic, vibrating friend. Should she feel ashamed about this? She’s passed nineteen! It’s totally normal for her to get excited from even the thought of s*x, and it is the most natural thing for her to get fired up when she's around someone who’s pushing the limits of handsomeness. Yet, her craving for Bence surely could not be natural. Not after the way he used her and treated her like a worn out blowup doll. Nonetheless, lots had changed since then, and now it was Lili’s turn to take advantage of the boy’s body.

Only s*x.

She smiled. This was her first honest smile of the whole evening.

“So, still journalism…“ Bence wanted to start this off as a question, but thanks to two annoying beeps, his sentence turned into a statement.

A couple of people wearing suits turned their heads around with an unpleasant glare, as though some sort of Marilyn Manson gig was kicking off at the table. Lili didn’t give a damn though. She didn’t care about what those pricks thought and that she might have violated some of their basic principles. A text from Carmen lit the screen of her phone, and at that moment, she felt like her roommate was her savior. Lili never felt bored around her. Their views on life were entirely different, but somehow, they completed one another. Carmen with her vivid pink hair, colorful clothes, strong make up and extravagant style just adored life. All the wild parties seemed to find her, and her artistic soul demanded passion. Carmen was in love with freedom, so when the summer holidays arrived, she became even more intense. Sometimes there were occasions that she went to, let’s just say “too hardcore” parties, but she never really said much about those to Lili. She preferred to stay mysterious and enigmatic.

“I’m going to go and paint the town red. Nicole’s gone to bed, her head hurt. Look after yourself, Princess! Ps: Tell Mr. Softcock that the room is mine. LOVE”

Almost everyone had a nickname in their group of friends. These were the names they called each other, and these were the ones – well, some of them – used for chatting over the internet. Those who are not really immersed in the world of cyber living cannot really imagine how many people out there take part in risqué and naughty little conversations on the multitude of different chat sites. Lili only found out about this sort of thing when Carmen showed her a couple of gems from her own “lets-get-to-know-each-other” emails. The web is being slowly taken over by youngsters who are often considered to be eccentric in real life. They take advantage of all the opportunities the internet provides, and even the word “sexuality” has now got a whole new meaning to it. The borders seem to disappear; even the most harmless kitten can evolve into a bloodthirsty saber-tooth tiger with the help of cyberspace. Online relationships encourage self-expression, there is no one in control, and all of this can be deleted in a flash with the help of a single click.