A Luna's Revenge

small victory

I couldn’t sleep, and spent most the night rolling around. It was 3am when I had finally given up and decided to go for a run, perhaps sweating it out will keep my mind from wondering to the icy blue eyes I had looked into yesterday. Was this what a mate bond felt like? Surely he can’t be my mate, he had clearly stated that that he had a girlfriend, Annabella none the less, before storming off into the darkness. Still... my mind wonders to the black leather jacket that gave him a dangerous edge and the way his thick, curved eyebrows framed his eyes.

Get a grip on yourself Phoenix, I chided myself. It’s probably only his Alpha aura, I bet all the woman in and around the pack would fall at his feet. Yes, that must be it. I made the mistake of taking my run, shifted into my wolf, who only led me to the Pack House. As I stood in the line of trees surrounding the clearing, I watched numerous other wolves practicing their combat skills.

“Are you going to continue staring? Or are you joining us?” a strong male voice said to me over mind link. I searched the eyes around me and focused on a sandy brown wolf a few yards away, his golden eyes focused on me.

“I don’t know, I might hurt you,” I replied sarcastically. He laughed loudly in my ears only fuelling the frustration I had tearing me up inside.

“Alright... show me what you’ve got,” he challenged mockingly. My strong and athletic wolf stepped out from under the shadows and her bright red fur caught and harnessed the warm rays of the rising sun. Each paw placed gracefully on the mowed lawn surrounding the pack house as we circled the one who foolishly challenged us with a hunched back, ready to strike at any moment.

“Phoenix?” he asked as his eyes pieced together the puzzle of my identity.

“George,” I replied with a growl, “are we going to actually do this or are you chicken,” I would gladly seize the opportunity to take down my childhood bully. I’d been dreaming of doing just that since I was nine years old. Though this would not be a fight to the death, I’d take any small victory I could get. He responded by reading himself for the attack, his Beta wolf the same size as my red one. I was tired of wasting time and pounced, colliding with the tense hard muscle of his wolf. We rolled on the grass, growling and snarling as we fought for control and power. As soon as he thought he had the upper hand I would counter my attack and pin him under me again, not allowing him to place himself above me ever again. We continued until we were both out of breath when he finally tapped out, pinned beneath me, my wolf’s exposed teeth dripping in desire to rip at the flesh of his neck but restraining myself from advancing any further.

Be brave for me little Phoenix, I heard my mother’s soft and kind voice in my head, making me back off immediately. I won’t let her down. I would find her one day, and when I do, I will be a daughter she could be proud of. Not some monster ruled by revenge, which I felt myself becoming. As I backed away from him, slowly, George’s wolf sprung to his feet, shaking off his muddy coat. I looked around us and found all eyes on us, every wolf that was there to learn from George was staring at me in disbelief. All of them admiring my victory over the Beta, all except the inky black wolf staring at me from a distance, his eyes fixed with a different emotion entirely as they bore through me in disdain. I had embarrassed his Beta, and in effect I had embarrassed him too... one small advance toward the promise I had made to a nine year old version of myself to one day make them pay. The feelings that coursed through me after meeting his gaze was not the pleasure of a victory over my oppressors, it was the gut wrenching guilt of disappointing him. Damn his Alpha dominance, damn the power he had over me... I took off running into the forest as a tear rolled down my wolf’s red fur. I hadn’t cried in years, six years to be precise. Somehow Damian was the only one with the power to hurt me on the inside.

Barging through the door to Noah’s apartment, wearing the yoga pants and grey shirt I had left tied to a tree when I took off earlier, I was met with a pair of pale grey judging eyes.

“Had fun?” he asked knowing it to be far from what I had experienced. I walk past him, pulling a twig from my disheveled red hair.

“Tons,” I sighed loudly, waling straight to the kitchen to make myself some coffee... without it coursing through my veins I wouldn’t survive the morning. Coffee was my fuel when I couldn’t sleep, which was a frequent experience, but last night’s lack of sleep was brought on by a completely different nightmare... my feelings toward the Alpha.

“Can I pour you a cup?” I ask Noah as he leant against the counter, staring at the dried streaks of mud covering my skin with raised eyebrows.

“Extra tall,” he confirms his order, “so I take it that you met up with some old friends of yours?” he asked with a hint of amusement he would never admit to.

“yeah... it was... eye opening,” I handed him his mug of steaming black coffee as I stood next to him holding a mug filled with the same contents.

“Just promise me that you won’t cause any trouble,” he said looking straight at me, “I’m all for empowerment and proving a point, and so on... but we aren’t starting a war here, even if being here is only temporary.”

“Yes Sir,” I reply in short, again feeling torn between obeying him and my raging emotions that were at war with themselves as it were. After finishing my coffee and taking a shower, I pulled my damp red hair back into a high ponytail, threw on my trusted pale purple shirt to pair with my black jeans and brown mid calf combat boots. I looked up at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as I brushed my teeth. Everything about me screamed imperfection, a direct contrast to Annabella’s ethereal beauty. My nose was dusted lightly with pale red freckles and my too big catlike eyes not even matching in color, heterochromia being the fancy word for flawed in my case. My one eye was green and the other blue, like my conflicting emotions. Perhaps I was made to be conflicted, in opposition with myself.

Slamming the bedroom door behind me as I tighten the strap of my green apron I headed down the steps. Another day in paradise, I sighed as I greeted Rosetta with a plastered on smile.