Falling for my fake boyfriend

10 - Look the part

“Is this a prank? It has to be a prank, right? Am I going to be on the telly? Come one, just tell me, Lily. Where are the hidden cameras? Uh, uh, how do I look?” Jessie hounds me as soon as we meet outside the Vauxhall building, way too early in the morning, if you ask me.

“It is definitely not a prank, and trust me when I say this, there are no cameras and not a chance of you being on the telly, sorry.” I shake my head at Jessie’s crazy ideas, while adjusting the strap of my heavy bag.

Before I could say anything else, I had to leap out of the way to avoid being run over by an old, and most likely blind as a freakin bat, woman on an electric mobility scooter.

“But since we’re talking about looking your best, I have to say that you do look great. Especially for eight thirty in the morning, and we both know you’re not a morning person.” I say, grinning at my friend.

To her credit, Jessie doesn’t quite blush at my comment, but it is a close thing. I’m fairly certain the powder she dusted on her cheeks before coming to work was not as intense as it became after my compliment.

“Yeah, I went and had one of those facials done yesterday after work. I had that voucher I got for Christmas from mum. And I did a chemical peel or something. The beautician said it’s supposed to make my skin baby fresh and all glowy. And you know, I put on some make-up, no big deal.” She adds hastily, under her breath.

I could make her sweat and keep pushing and asking Jessie why she went the extra mile to look nice on an average Tuesday morning, but I already know the answer: Brandon’s team is coming in today for their meeting with the marketing department.

Brandon works for Pixelist, the company that designs the ads for the new flagship sedan Vauxhall is launching. And since Jessie works in the marketing department at Vauxhall, they have to collaborate often.

I hide my smile as I imagine Jessie finally answering with something other than a hard no if Brandon suggests they grab a drink after work. I’m genuinely glad that Jessie is finally allowing herself to consider Brandon romantically.

For the most part, it’s nice to know that the humiliation I put myself through with Davies on the night of the Christmas party is actually paying off. That, together with Alistair Craster’s very promising email about his interest in my engineering and design project, makes me start thinking that things might finally be looking up. And it’s about damn time they did.

“OK.” Jessie chews on her lower lip, looking deep in concentration. “So if this isn’t a prank, it can only mean that there is another explanation. I just have to find it. I can do this, I’m an intelligent woman.” She raises a perfect eyebrow at me. Great, so we’re back to the Adam topic again. Fantastic.

A slight shiver runs through me as I think of Davies as Adam. It’s so familiar yet so ilicit, I’m tingling in all the right, or rather wrong, places.

“There is no explanation to be found, Jess. We just…”

“Oh my God, are you trying to get citizenship? Are they going to deport you back to… where are you from again? Oh my God, is this because we’ve been streaming our shows without actually paying a subscription?” I try to stop her, I really do, but when Jessi’s on a roll, she’s like a tornado.

“Oh dear, are you like an illegal immigrant now? Christ, I’ll call dad and he can get you a lawyer or someone to help.My uncle is a solicitor, he deals with house purchases, but I’m sure he has contacts.” I find myself in need of a nice deep breath. Like most Brits, my friend is extremely confused about what Brexit truly is.

“Jess…” I growl. Mostly to urge my friend to calm down. We’re at the entrance to the Vauxhall building and already drawing unwanted attention due to the severe state of distress that Jessie is showing.

“Actually, no wait. You’re right. We might not even need a lawyer, I’ll marry you. You will get your British citizenship and it will all be OK.” She declares, looking mighty proud of herself.

I smack my hand on my face and groan.

“Jessie, I was born here, I’m not going to be deported anywhere. I already am a British citizen, what are you even on about?” I have to take her hand and squeeze it tight to get her to actually listen to me. “ I just went on a date with Davies.” I say, biting my lip.

Determined, Jessie scrunches her face and proceeds to drag me to one of the visitors’ chairs in the large reception area of the building.

I reluctantly allow myself to be seated down, though internally I’m counting down the minutes until this conversation means thatI will arrive at my desk late. But in all fairness, I’m telling myself that if the roles were reversed, and I would have stumbled upon Jessie kissing Adam Davies, I would have most likely had the same reaction.

OK, fine, I would be busy booking a full blown psychiatric evaluation for Jessie and roping her parents in for an intervention.

“Listen…” Jessie starts looking all serious. “Do you remember last summer, when I held your hair back while you spilled your guts after eating at that Chinese buffet down by the boardwalk in Brighton?”

Grinning, and not at the fond memory of spilling my guts until I was sure I vomited a piece of my liver too, I nod. “I wish I could say I don’t, but I do. Though you ate more than me and never got sick.” I accuse.

“That’s because I have an iron stomach, but that’s not important now, never mind. What I’m trying to say is that I am here for you, Lily. I’ll always be in your corner, no matter what. No matter how many pounds of sweet and sour chicken you projectile vomit, you can trust me. We’re a team, you and I. And Carrie too, when he’s not busy screwing her way through the whole London male population.” I can't help the laughter that bubbles out of me. I’m touched by Jessie’s unorthodox way of showing that she would have my back no matter what.

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Anytime. So if Davies is secretly an extraterrestrial being that’s planning to take over the Earth and that will ultimately result in all of humanity being enslaved by his reptilian looking kind, and the only way to stop him is by dating him, you can totally tell me. I promise not to freak out.” Says the woman freaking out and making me roll my eyes to the point it hurts.

“OK, Resident Alien, calm down. And by the way, I’m cutting you off from watching that show. Clearly it messes with your perception of the real world.”

Jessie pouts, and glares at me as I’m resisting not to laugh at her ridiculous theory.

“For f**k’’s sake, Jess. It was just a date!” I whispered yell, exasperated at my friend.

“But I don’t get it, Lily.” Jessie looks incredulous.. “I just don’t understand.”

Neither do I, because it doesn’t make sense. But I refrain from saying it out loud.

“I get it, it’s unexpected, but we went on a date.” I shrug like it’s not a big deal. Cause it is, it's a huge deal no matter how I spin it.

“At the staff Christmas party?” She glares at me even more. “Why Lily? I mean, you’re beautiful, smart and funny and have excellent taste in TV series. So why would you go out with a known arse like Adam Davies?”

I glance around us for a quick second, half expecting the man in question to pop out of nowhere like he’s been summoned, but he doesn’t.

“Because he is… “ I start, but the word just lodges itself in my throat like a fish bone. I swallow hard, knowing I have to say it. And honestly, there is a little bit, OK a lot, of truth in it. “Because he is actually nice.”

“Nice?” Jessie’s eyebrows raise so high up that they are easily confused with her hairline. “Dr Adam ‘The crusher of engineering careers’ Davies?”

“Well, yeah. Wait, you know about that?”

“Of course I do. You told me!” She hisses.

In all honesty, bitching about Davies and how impossibly strict he is is kind of like talking about the grey London weather, down by the water fountain.

“Right. Well, he is… he has a nice way of crushing someone’s engineering career.” I immediately cringe as the words leave my mouth. Jessie’s expression changes to one of straight up disbelief. She looks at me like I’ve gone mental, which probably is not far from the truth. Because how else would I explain the mess I got myself in?

“Okay, so you went from dating someone as cool as Gavin to going out with Adam Davies.” Wonderfull, this is exactly what I was hoping to avoid. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Jessie has no idea why Gavin and I broke up. And thankfully the weasel had the decency not to try and contact her after I made it clear he should never step within 1 mile of me.

To say that I’ve been disgusted and downright thrown off by the sight of my boyfriend pleasuring himself while watching a slideshow made of pictures of my best friend would be an understatement. And regular social media pictures, too. Bile rises in my throat at the mere thought of that unfortunate memory.

“I did. And happily, because I never cared that much about Gavin.” As I say that, I realise I’m not entirely wrong. I have been disgusted, pissed off and felt betrayed and taken for a fool, but in retrospect, that had nothing to do with me having deep feelings for the guy, but rather with his pining over my blissfully clueless best friend while sleeping with me.

But while I’m happy with the unexpected revelation, Jessie doesn’t seem convinced.

“I’m serious, Jess. It wasn’t that hard to move on.” Which reminds me of our pact. “So Jessie, I think it’s time you accepted to go out with Brandon. I know you want to, it's in the way you always mention him.”

This time Jessie outright blushes. She looks down at her hands, picks at her well manicured fingernails, and then she begins to fiddle with the hem of her skirt. I take it, and deliver the final pitch.

“He deserves it, and above all, you deserve it. You’ve said it yourself, he’s a great guy, different from the type you usually go for, but in a good way. You should totally ask him to come with you to that new Thai place you wanted to go to. Honestly, I would love the chance to skip trying out new places, since you just reminded me of our Chinese buffet adventure.

“There’s hardly any comparison between that joint by the beach and this upscale restaurant in central London, is there?” She narrows her eyes into slits, but I can already see she’s not opposed to the idea. And I don't mind not spending money I don't have, only to save me from the humiliation of my best friend always paying for my meal. Because she would do that, Jessie would pay for my meal at that ridiculously overpriced restaurant.

Jessie’s phone rings before she can tell me if she’s going to consider my suggestion or not.

“s**t, I’m late for prepping our stuff for the meeting with Brandon’s company.” She mutters seeing the number that’s calling her insistently, yet not answering the call. Instead, with the phone still in her hand, Jessie stands up and grabs her bag.

“Should we grab lunch later?” She asks over the ringing of her phone.

“I can’t. I have a test I need to supervise, and considering someone forced me to skip the last session, I can’t miss it now or Pradeep will have my arse.” Seizing the opportunity, I casually add: “I bet Brandon’s free, though. You can ask him about that restaurant.” Jessie takes her eyes out of her still ringing phone, only to roll them at me, but the corners of her mouth are slowly tipping up. It makes me more than a little happy. The feeling is similar to solving a tough engineering issue.

I was still smiling, waiting for the elevator doors to open, when Jessie's breath tickled my ear.

“Is he blackmailing you?”

“What?” I jump, scaring the other two people waiting patiently next to us.

“Davies. Is he blackmailing you? Did he find out that you leave the teabag in when you pour the milk?”

The skinny man with a suit two sizes too big that is on my right looks appalled. I throw a glance at him that translates to asking him to mind his own business.

“First of all, keep it down.” I glare at Jessie. I really don’t need anyone else finding out about me and Davies. I already feel like everything the carpet has been pulled from under my feet and I'm falling, close to my arse hitting the hard floor. “And second, I think you need a new hobby. No one in their right mind would go to such ridiculous lengths to get a date. Especially not to get me as their date.”

“I beg to differ.” She sashayes into the elevator with me following suit before the doors close and I miss the lift. “Any guy would, Lily. Because you’re awesome. Well, except for the teabag thing. That’s just nasty.” Jessie grimaces and the guy with the borrowed suit nods, earning himself another glare from yours truly. He can join Jessie in finding a new hobby. Maybe they can start a club here at Vauxhall.