In Our Heads (bxb) Completed

Chapter 6

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Cassian let out a breath of air that he could see as soon as it left his mouth and smiled. It was getting colder, but he was excited about the oncoming winter. He was at school particularly early when the sky was not yet brightened up by the sun, mostly because he had had another sleepless night and felt like running around for a bit would set him at ease while making sure he was tired enough to fall asleep when he arrived home in the evening after school.

He made his way through the empty hallways, his footsteps the only thing making a sound until he reached the back of the school and dropped his sports bag beside the field. He was not yet dressed into his uniform as he knew he would have to take a shower and change after he ran around. He dropped the ball from his hands and kicked it further out onto the grass before he began stretching to warm up.

He liked soccer much more than tennis and would have preferred focusing solely on it, but his parents refused to let him join the team unless he took up polo or tennis. He figured he was less likely to get injured in tennis in a way that would affect his soccer, so he chose tennis. It was fun too, and he had met different people by joining more than one club which had helped when he was running for student council president.

Cassian spent the next forty-five minutes running around the field and kicking the ball around while the sky brightened above him until he was breathless and could hear the school beginning to buzz with voices and cars from the front. He leaned his arms onto his knees to catch his breath when he heard someone call out.

“Cassian?” He turned to see Kian and immediately kicked the ball over to him. Kian chuckled stopping it under his foot, “What are you doing? We don’t have practice today.” He said kicking the ball back to Cassian as he walked closer to him.

“Just kicking the ball around.” He returned it to Kian.

“How long have you been here?”

“Not long.” For some reason, saying that he basically came to school an hour early sounded like a weird thing to admit.

“‘Not long’?” Kian smirked, “You do way too much.” He had heard that a lot from Kian in the past, “Can’t say I don’t like this look on you though, always loved wet-haired Cassian, half the reason I joined the soccer team.” Cassian chuckled when Kian motioned to him

“Shut up. I need to clean up.” He picked up the ball to throw it at Kian who laughed as he caught it.

With that, he grabbed his gym bag and headed towards the locker room but just as he unlocked the door he noticed movement in the corner of his eye causing his head to turn to see what it was. He raised his brows seeing Theodore laying on the balcony. If a teacher saw that they would understandably lose their minds and the doors to the roof would definitely be locked forever. It looked incredibly dangerous, if he rolled slightly he would fall three stories, landing on the paving just outside of the back of the school. What was he doing? Theodore was not moving and appeared to just be staring at the sky. Cassian frowned about to head towards the school building instead of washing up but when the bell rang he saw Theodore sit up on the balcony before safely getting back on the roof and then disappearing further onto it. He had to be crazy, wasn’t he afraid of slipping?

Cassian shook his head heading into the locker room. He texted Kian asking him to tell their homeroom teacher that he was taking a shower before he started getting cleaned up.

When he headed back to class, everyone was in the midst of walking to first period so he began to head to his science class but stopped as he saw Theodore through the crowd.

“Theodore!” He called out, he was sure Theodore heard him, but the guy kept walking so he called louder, “Theo!” That made him stop, though it seemed like he did so hesitantly. Cassian walked through the crowd up to Theodore who immediately began moving again once Cassian was beside him.

“Yes?” He asked.

“Maybe don’t hang off the roof like that.” The glance Theodore gave him seemed somewhat surprised, “I was on the soccer field.”

“I was not hanging off the roof.” He replied.

“It’s dangerous.”

“It’s a one-and-a-half foot wall, I’m not going to fall, I’ve done that countless times before.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s dangerous.” Theodore let out a chuckle that both surprised Cassian and seemed to make his breath catch in his throat.

“It’s fun. You’re not in this class, ‘President’.” Theodore had turned into the art class before Cassian even noticed where they were and he stopped outside the door as he watched him head over to his seat near the front of the classroom. He seemed to prefer sitting in the front, lots of quiet people did.

Cassian let out a breath of air realising for a moment that he suddenly wished very badly that he had taken Art as one of his classes, even though the best he could do was stick men and apple trees made from red splotches of paint against solid green. He knew he could be better if he practised, but the last he could remember of himself painting was in 7th grade, and that was the extent of his abilities at the time. He wondered what Theodore’s sketches and paintings were. Something about the guy just… caused Cassian to want to keep talking to him despite how many times Theodore walked away from him. Maybe Cassian just liked breaking through people’s walls, it was always fun to see who people were once he got through their normal façade.

“Cassian, do you need something?” His eyes tore from Theodore as Miss Vega spoke to him.

“No, Ma’am. Good morning.” He grinned at her and she smiled back.

“Good morning.” She replied. He gave her a nod before heading over to his classroom.

He was going to get Theodore to have a conversation with him that was more than a few minutes long eventually, it would be easy seeing as Theodore hung out where no one else did.

Theodore sat in the practically empty class sketching quietly as he listened to the noise coming from the front of the school. It was currently lunch and he had asked if he could stay inside considering that it was a double period split by the lunch break, he would be returning to the same classroom after lunch anyway. Mr Sir did not mind and was seated at his own desk running through something on his laptop while he chewed on one of the sandwiches from his lunch box.

There were two reasons Theodore had decided to stay inside, one was because Cassian would probably be heading to the roof – perhaps to make sure Theodore did not fall off the side of the building, but he was really not in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment and did not want to have to brush Cassian off again and two was because it just seemed like too much work to head out of the classroom. He was not looking forward to waking through a lot of people to head to the roof and do the same on his way back to the classroom, or running into any of the people that insisted that he acknowledge that he was less than them, and do so by ‘practising’ for his future of washing cars and running errands for rich assholes like them. He was fine just staying where he was and avoiding everyone for as long as possible, too bad that was not until the end of the school year when he could put everything behind him.

“Theodore, I had a few worksheets in the staffroom printed out for our class and they’ve finally finished printing. Could you pick those up, please?”

Seeing that the teacher was looking at him, his answer was a nod as he stood up instead of a ‘yes’ because he had not spoken in a while and was certain his voice would come out horse and embarrassing. Even the thought of speaking made him feel like he had to clear his throat. He left the classroom into a thankfully empty hallway and began to make his way towards the staff room, but when he reached the stairs someone was coming down.

“There you are.” Cassian grinned like he had been looking for Theodore.

“Here I am.” Theodore replied simply as he turned to head down the hall.

Cassian followed his steps almost naturally and they ended up beside each other as they walked.

“I thought you would be on the roof.”

“Mr Sir asked me to get some worksheets from the staffroom. Shouldn’t you be on the field?”

He had noticed that the students from the biggest sports clubs in school practised religiously. He understood why, the trophy case near the front of the school displayed all of that, though he never liked sports though and so did not understand why anyone would want to put themselves through all of that just for sports trophies. He had joined the chess club. Everyone in it was pretty laid back, it was quiet and they were not hell-bent on placing first in the country.

“No soccer, I have tennis later though. You still don’t want to join?” Cassian asked.

“Join which one?”

“Will the answer be different for either?” Cassian looked at him and Theodore smirked back at him, ‘No’ causing Cassian to roll his eyes. They walked for a while more in silence that did not feel very uncomfortable to Theodore, which was weird to him because they barely knew each other, until they reached the staffroom.

Theodore nodded at Cassian figuring this was where they split up before he went inside to collect the worksheets from one of the receptionists, but when he returned to the hall he found Cassian leaning against the wall waiting for him.

“Um, is there something you want?” Theodore asked trying not to sound rude, though he felt like that was how it came off.

“Nope.” Cassian’s one-word reply led them to delve into more silence as they once again fell into stride beside each other.

Theodore fought to keep his eyes head as he held the sheets pressed between his arm and his side. The guy said ‘nope’ and then still began to walk along instead of leaving. Theodore thought Cassian was very weird. How was he so popular being so weird? Did popularity really only depend on money in Richmore high school? Well, Cassian was nice too but this weirdness definitely overshadowed that for Theodore. It did not overshadow his looks though, Cassian was clearly very handsome and got quite a bit of reactions from everyone around him, he seemed to be used to the staring he got because Theodore had never seen him look uncomfortable in class when people got lost in their daydreams while keeping their eyes solidly stuck to Cassian for minutes on end. He did not even seem to notice the stares.

“Maybe I’ll find you on the roof tomorrow,” Cassian said when they finally reached their class, the bell blaring through the speakers around them just as he finished speaking.

“Won’t you have soccer tomorrow?”

“Oh yeah. Well, don’t lay on the balcony again, as president, it’s my duty to report suicidal students and you’re no exception.” Theodore gave an awkward laugh at the smile on Cassian’s face as the words struck him.

Theodore turned to head into their classroom with Cassian right behind him before the boy made his way to his seat in the back of the class, besides that window he seemed to stare out of every time they came to English. Whenever he dared look around while he was in the classroom, Cassian’s gaze was focused on the courtyard. Mr Sir did not seem to mind, because even when he called people out on their lack of focus, he did not address Cassian’s, which led Theodore to believe Cassian was doing exceptionally well in the class. Why else would he be allowed to get away with clearly not paying attention?

After handing the worksheets to Mr Sir, Theodore took his seat again and returned to his sketching while he waited for the class to fill up.

When the last bell rang Theodore set off towards the parking lot. Having gotten his books from his locker earlier in order to avoid having to walk all the way over there, he just threw his bag over his shoulder and made his way through the sea of people. He paused temporarily when he spotted Cassian walking towards the direction their lockers were in, in one of his hands he held a tennis racket and with the other he greeted almost every person that passed him as they shouted his name. Theodore had not been in the school for a week and he could guess who would win every dance popularity competition in the school, no wonder he was student council president.

It was admirable though, he decided as he walked away. Cassian seemed to always be doing something, he had to have amazing time management skills – skills overall because he seemed to be good at everything.

Theodore let out a breath of relief as he reached his car without incident or walking into any of Cassian’s friends, he climbed into it and immediately began to drive to the exit immediately in order to keep it that way.

He turned on the radio softly and began making his way towards the school further into the city. The car had the faint smell of cigarettes hidden behind the freshener Theodore constantly had to replace. If it was up to him, no one would smoke in the car but it was not his. No, he just made sure it was taken care of, ran smoothly and cleaned up because he knew he needed it to go certain places. He opened the windows hoping to get more of the smell out in the twenty-minute drive before he parked the car in front of the school. He climbed out as he always did instead of waiting for Zion to spot the car, but the 6-year-old saw it anyway and ran over.

“Hey, Man.” Theodore chuckled as he hugged him, “How was school?” He asked taking Zion’s bag.

“We were going over some maths and Miss Honey was surprised that I could multiply lots,” Zion replied as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car. Theodore smiled as he watched to make sure the kid buckled himself in before he put his bag in the back and climbed back into the driver’s seat.

“You multiply well though.” Zion picked up on concepts and numbers quite easily so Theodore had gone ahead and helped him learn some extra math. The kid looked like he was going to be much better than Theodore was at school because he liked learning much more than his older brother had growing up, and he learnt faster too.

“I do! She was proud.” He beamed as Theodore grinned at him.

“I’m proud too, I’ll get you ice-cream,” Theodore said as he started the car.

“Yeah!” Zion yelled out.

They drove for a few minutes before stopping at a drive-thru to get the ice-cream and then making their way home while Zion talked about what he did with his friends during lunch. Theodore’s focus on what his brother was saying wavered as he drove into the driveway of their small one-story house. The house was neat, painted well on the outside, the grass trimmed properly as he did so every other week but the front door was open and he could clearly hear yelling from inside. He bit his lip glancing at Zion as he wondered if he should tell his brother to stay in the car but decided against it. He did not want to leave him in the car in their neighbourhood, anything could happen. He considered for a moment just driving off and coming back to the house later but did not trust the people yelling.

The shouting sounded like equal parts of his mother and her boyfriend William’s voices. Both sounded drunk, or maybe they were high. Could be both or none. Either way, usually they began breaking things when they fought and he needed them to at least quieten down as he noticed some neighbours looking over at the house. They climbed out of the car and Theodore circled it to meet with his brother. He pulled his phone from his pocket and held it out to the 6-year-old.

“Zion, head to the room, okay?” His brother nodded pretty use to the yelling already as he grabbed his bag.

They went inside, Zion hurrying straight to the room they shared while Theodore headed towards the living room, ringing as he heard something smash. The room was quite a mess already when he stepped into it, little with empty beer bottles that were not there after he had cleaned the room the day before. The two people yelling could barely even stand straight, drunk off their asses as they shouted at each other, yet they were still throwing wild punches at each other. His mother clearly had the lower hand in the fight so Theodore grabbed William’s wrist when he lifted it to throw another punch and simply shoved him back, resulting in William tripping and falling back onto the wooden floor. He then turned to calm his mother but her rage had turned towards him for interrupting their fight and she basically ran at him, be it unsteadily.

“Stay out of this!” She screamed throwing a punch at him as she tripped over her own feet. He took the punch to the jaw as he caught her so she would not fall on her face before putting her onto the couch while she still tried to scratch at him. He felt a heard punch on his back as soon as he let her down and turned to dodge another of William’s blows.

“You disrespectful piece of s**t, you dare push me in my own f*****g house!” He repeated the move he had earlier, grabbing William’s wrists as he swung his fists wildly at him so he could shove the drunk man away and the older man once again tripped over his own feet, falling back onto the floor hard. Theodore let out a breath of disbelief when the man suddenly let out a sob and looked at his mother as she screamed at him about why he dared touch her boyfriend while William wailed about how his back hurt. The same boyfriend that gave her currently bleeding lip and soon-to-be black eye. He looked back at the man on the ground, crying as he wiped the bloody cheek his mother’s rings had managed to tear open. He clenched his teeth as his mother fell off the couch and crawled over to her boyfriend.

Crying was quieter than screaming. Crying was much less likely to get the neighbours to call the police again after he explained that they were just resolving their fight and crying through some issues together.

He turned to leave but William spoke.

“You don’t take the f*****g car – I –” Without giving him a chance to finish the sentence, Theodore tossed the keys barely caring when William failed to catch it and it ended up hitting his face.

Neighbours first.

He walked out of the front of the house and smiled at their next-door neighbour who was peering over the fence looking concerned. She had told him her name when they moved in, but he had forgotten it. Theodore was not the best with remembering names… or faces for that matter. She had also told him her husband worked out of town and was only home on the weekends, he had not met the man yet. It did not really matter anyway.

“Hello, sorry about the noise. My father spent a little too much at the bar with his friends last night. Mom’s not going to be able to get that dishwasher this month.” The neighbour laughed seemingly relieved. “Sorry about the constant arguing, he is the worst money manager.”

“I understand. It sounded like something broke through.”

“Yeah, my mother tipped one of the ornaments off the table. Sorry about disturbing you. You were gardening?” He noticed the gloves on the grass, near a patch of sand dug up behind her.

“Yes, trying to make it look as lively as it can until spring comes.” She pouted. He chuckled, he knew nothing about gardening so had no idea how to reply and did not really want to keep speaking to her.

“Well, I should get inside. Homework and stuff.”

“Oh yeah, you go to Richmore.” She said glancing over his uniform, “Tough school.”

“It is, lots of work. It was nice speaking to you, good luck with the gardening.” He gave her a nod and headed back into the house. He passed the living room, where the two drunken adults still lay on the floor crying softly before entering his room.

Zion had changed out of his school uniform already and was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt as he sat tapping against the screen of Theodore’s phone. Usually, when the two people in the living room fought, he would distract Zion with his phone or just leave the house. The boy seemed to be unfazed by what they had walked into. Theodore was glad, but at the same time, he was angry that that was something that Zion thought was normal. At least in their house.

He turned to tug his tie loose and unbuttoned his shirt before throwing on a long-sleeved black shirt and then swapping his pants for track pants.

“Can we go to the park?” Zion’s softer than usual, anxious voice was the only thing that showed how shaken he had been by the screaming and the smashing.

“Yes, but you need a jersey, no shorts.”

“But –”

“Those are the conditions, Zion.” Theodore could not help but smile when Zion huffed handing the phone to Theodore before he staggered across the room to change into more autumn-appropriate clothing.

They walked out of the room once they both had their shoes on but stopped when their mother stepped out of the living room. She still looked like a mess, but was trying her best to stand up straight.

“Theo… Sweetie.” The voice told him she was just going to ask him for money so he reached into his pocket and handed it to her before placing his hands on Zion’s shoulders so he could lead the boy out of the house.

He knew she was going to use the money for more alcohol or some type of drug, but he did not care. He was not in the mood to deal with a screaming fit that would result in him giving the money anyway.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asked Zion, one of his hands still on the boy’s shoulder to make sure he stayed next to him as the other held his phone inside his pocket.

“Um… burgers. But I’m not hungry yet.”

Theodore worked part-time at a store not far from his house. He had gotten the job last week, before they moved he had a job at a bookstore not far from their old house. He had gotten the first job initially to save up so that he could move out, but the house always needed more money. William had a ‘job’ that he did barely sober, and that money went to pay the rent – if he was unintoxicated enough to remember to do so – and what was left was used for their addictions which resulted in Theodore having to make sure there was food, a clean house and clean clothing for Zion.

Theodore tried to keep things as normal as possible, that’s why he kept the yard clean and the house painted no matter which house they moved to. He did not want neighbours looking into it, he was afraid of anyone thinking the pair were not suitable to be taking care of Zion. The possibility of anyone realising his parents shot and dealt drugs, left all that laying around in the house and basically ignored the two boys had been his biggest fear since Zion was born, he did not want to lose his brother so he had to make sure everything looked okay until he could take over from them. He was almost there, it was almost over. There were a few months before he turned eighteen. When he finished school, he would get a real job and make better money than he could at the part-time jobs he had been getting. He would be able to leave and hopefully be able to convince them to let Zion live with him. He was sure he could get them to agree to that if he gave them a few hundred for drugs or alcohol every month.

“Did Dad faint?” Zion asked sounding absent-minded. William was Zion’s father, and he had been on-and-off with their mother since Theodore was ten, about five months after Theodore’s father overdosed and passed away. They had all been friends.

“No, he’s fine.” He wanted to add, ‘don’t worry about him’ but knew Zion would not stop. No matter how hopeless the two people at the house were, Zion was a child and he relied on and worried about them.

They walked the rest of the way to the park and began playing around on the swings. With Zion, Theodore pretended not to care about people around him. He did not want to make Zion feel as uncomfortable as he always had. He wanted Zion to be confident and carefree and not worry about whether people could tell that they were not okay.

It was fun. Theodore rarely had fun but being in the windy park as the sun began to go down listening to his brother laugh as they played and the place became emptier was calming to him and allowed him moments of relaxation that he almost never got.

They were wrestling on the grass when he heard Zion’s stomach rumble and they began laughing when Zion announced that he was now hungry.

“Still want a burger?” Theodore asked as he sat up to brush the grass off of his clothing.

“Yes.” Zion replied following his older brother’s lead and trying to clear himself of grass shavings.

Theodore looked around. The part of the neighbourhood they were currently in was not too bad but he would rather take a taxi than risk anything happening with his brother close by. They would walk to a convince store so he could take his phone out inside the store instead of the middle of the park. When they thought they were clean enough, they began to make their way toward the street. They reached the pavement and were waiting for a car to pass when it came to a sudden stop in front of them before the back window wound down.

“Theo!”

Theodore’s jaw dropped slightly. How… did he keep running into this guy?

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