Chapter Thirty Seven
1023 Words
They hadn't been gone more than five minutes when Gerald walked back in with Theo. I went straight to him and started snuggling him. I felt so bad for pretending he was a pet. It was the right thing to do for all of us, including him, but it didn't stop me from feeling awful. "What did they want?"
"They were poking around for information about Rochelle and unfortunately they got too much. I'm guessing that was Turner's intention. They think Brodie and I were together before she disappeared. I had no choice but to agree with them about the triplets' conception date. It wasn't like I could tell them it was only a few months ago."
"You did the right thing. Protecting against exposure is the most important thing. I'll speak to Brodie when he gets back."
"They said they are coming back tomorrow to speak to him. At least you both know what it is they are fishing for." Gerald wasn't the only one that would need to speak to Brodie, but I guessed my conversation was going to be a hell of a lot harder. Before I even got to that, I had to speak to Marcus and that wasn't going to be easy either. The day was set to be a nightmare from start to finish and it made me long for the sweet little farm house and the tranquility it brought. Considering whether Brodie and I should run off and put the drama behind us.
Of course, I didn't mean it, but the thought was nice to toy with. Better than facing all the problems that had been piling up since we returned.
When Marcus walked through the door, I was actually relieved. At least it was one problem I could deal with and put to one side. "Hey kiddo, what's up?" It hurt to hear a term of endearment, especially from him. John had never really been like that with me. He had been more of a fan of tough love. There had always been a distance between us and once I knew the truth, it was hard to wonder if that was the reason why. Even if he protected me as his child, on some level I was still the embodiment of everything he despised.
Any form of kindness from Marcus only made that thought more central in my mind. It made me wonder what life would have been like if my mother had chosen a different path.
I tried to find the words, but it was a struggle. Deciding it was best just to spit it out. "Mary has left. Before she did, she told me something."
"I'm surprised she admitted it. I've known for weeks." It didn't make sense. He had never said a word, never even hinted that he knew anything. He even seemed surprised in the woods. I wondered if maybe we were talking about different issues.
"I don't understand."
"I knew, that day in the clearing. I don't know how, there was just something in your eyes as you landed me on my ass. It was one of the reasons you managed to take me down so easily. I was distracted by it completely. I tried to ignore it to begin with. Brushed it off as wishful thinking. Then you disappeared and I had to put it to one side. I agreed to help Brodie so I would have the chance to know for sure. When I sensed you again, I paid more attention than I had before. Focusing on how strong your beacon was. The closer the relationship, the stronger it is. You were too strong to be anything other than my daughter."
The revaluation made the conversation easier, but much more confusing. It took me a moment to think through everything he had said. He had known who I was for weeks and never said a word. There were a few odd remarks that suddenly seemed to make sense, but that was it. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was too late for it to change anything. You have a dad already, one who loves you. I had turned myself into a monster and no girl wants a monster as a dad. I was happy to settle for your forgiveness if I ever managed to earn it." It wasn't as though he was wrong. If he had told me back then, I never would have accepted him. I wouldn't have even believed him.
"I would really appreciate it if you kept it from John. There is so much more for me to think about before I tell him the truth. I can't say I have forgiven you, but I have realised you were just another consequence of my mother's web of lies. Can I ask you something?"
"Anything."
"What would you have said if she had told you the truth?" I had no idea what I wanted his answer to be, but I knew I had to ask the question.
"Back then, I couldn't have ever imagined loving someone more than your mother. I've clung on to that love ever since. Hoping that I would be able to find a way back to that time. Even after she left with John, I never hated her, not even the tiniest bit. It was him I hated. In my own way, I was trying to turn back time. Trying to erase him and you, to do it. She came to me the day you locked me in that cage and I asked her if you were mine. She lied to me, made out that I had lost my mind. The day you had the triplets, it dawned on me that she had kept you from me and then outright lied to me."
"I lost all my love for her that day. I wish I could tell you how I would have felt if she had told me before you were born, but she stole that moment from me. That version of me doesn't even exist anymore. What I know is that I want to know you now, to love you now."
- Writer
