The Shadows in the Hills: Triple Threat

Chapter Eighteen

I waited until Jackson had left for work before I made my move. He wasn't far, but it was enough distance for me to be sure I would be undisturbed. Taking a few deep breaths. I wasn't even sure what it was I wanted to say, but I knew it would be difficult. I had to say his name several times before he responded at all. It proved he wasn't listening all the time. He didn't say anything at all. His response was the warmth that spread over me, letting me know he was there. It was as though he didn't know what he was supposed to say to me anymore.

"How are you?" I wasn't just trying to make conversation. I was actually worried about him. After what Tyler had said, it made me reconsider everything I had thought about the interaction between him and Jackson. I had judged him without even considering it might not have been him causing the drama.

"Warmer than I have been for the last couple of months, at least. I stayed close by in case you wanted to talk." Talking to him like that, like we had in the beginning, it made me miss him all the more. It had been a long time since we had used the connection between us. I looked at the cup of liquid beside me on the table. Jackson had brought the brew up to me as usual, but I didn't drink it. I couldn't, not if I wanted to have a connection with Brodie. I felt like I was hiding it from Jackson, and it made me feel guilty.

"Well, that's why I'm tapping in now, so we can talk. What happened between you and Jackson?"

"Nothing to be concerned about. Jackson just wants to look out for you and was investigating my motives."

"And what conclusion did he come to?" I already knew the answer to that. Jackson knew he was fighting a losing battle. That was why he had been so grumpy about it all. He had already decided that I was going to return to the pack. It was all a matter of time as far as he was concerned. It all seemed to make sense. He was upset because he believed Brodie.

"I have no idea. I'm just glad he's trying to keep you safe."

"That used to be your job." It was a stupid thing to say, thoughtless. I was feeling nostalgic, and it just slipped out.

"It still is, but you can't be too protected. No matter what happens, I will always be your protector." So many feelings rushed through me. It was getting harder and harder to resist them. If he had been in the room with me, I would have stood no chance at all. I wasn't even sure why I was trying to keep my distance any longer. "Because you don't know if you can trust me. In the short term, you don't need to. I just want you close to the camp, where is down to you. It's hard to protect you so far from home."

"Don't do that."

"I can't help it, either I hear everything or nothing. I could always pretend I don't hear it, but it wouldn't be particularly honest." He seemed to go quiet, but I had no idea what I was supposed to say. After all, I couldn't complain about him not being honest, then moan at him for being honest as well. "Any thoughts on names for the triplets yet?"

"Not a clue. Any ideas?"

"I like Penny. It means new beginnings. Jacob would be nice too, after Jackson given everything he has done for them and you." I liked Penny, but I didn't think naming any of them anything remotely similar to Jackson was a good idea. I loved Jackson, and he had done so much for us, but the water was murky enough.

"I'll think about them." I heard the door close beneath me and panicked. It was stupid that I was even worried. "I had best go."

"I get it. Talk later. I love you." I wanted to say it back, but I couldn't. It would mean giving into him completely. Even if it was the truth.

I jumped as the door opened. There was no real reason for it. After all, the conversation was only audible to Brodie and me. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Can you pass me Penny while you're here?" After Tyler's shopping trip, all the babies were safely stowed in bedside cribs. I could have reached them, but it still hurt to do it. It was easier to take advantage of the help while I had it. It was still early and Jackson had clearly just returned to check in on us all.

"You named her?" I felt like I had gone bright red, but hoped he wouldn't notice.

"I'm just trying it out."

"Well, I like it. Any ideas for the boys yet?"

"Not yet. Coming up with one name that feels right is hard enough, nevermind three." I felt awful for lying and I didn't even know why it had become necessary. Jackson was acting so weird about Brodie being around and I just didn't want the stress of being in the middle of the pair of them. I needed to find time to speak to Jackson about everything. It was all driving me crazy, and I had enough on my mind without walking on eggshells.

"You haven't touched your drink." I laid Penny across my stomach. She fit perfectly. Picking the cup up from the bedside table. I looked down at it. I didn't even want to drink it, I didn't feel the need. It was all for Jackson's benefit, which felt so wrong.

"Jackson, I don't think... f**k!" I had thought it was her body heat making me feel warmer than before. I was wrong. The heat, the pain, it was increasing by the second. I went to lift her back up, but stopped short. Not sure I could even believe it for myself. "I'm sorry, Jackson."

"What for?"

I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his face when he realised what was happening, "Brodie. Brodie. Brodie." I waited for him to come to me. Getting straight to the point when I felt him, "Come to the house, we need to talk."