Chapter Fourteen
1004 Words
Brodie was shifting nervously on his feet. I didn't think he even expected it to change anything, and he still couldn't look at me. Part of him was sure it was too late to change anything, and I wasn't convinced he was wrong. I wanted it to change something, but so much had happened and it wasn't just me I had to think about. I had to do what was right for the babies and I had to think about Jackson, too.
"What about Milly?"
"What about her?"
"You never bothered to tell me about her. She looks just like you."
"I know she does, but the truth is I've never had much to do with her. I wouldn't know where to start and I've hardly got an open heart. The truth is, it never occurred to me to mention her." It felt like a stab in the heart, but I struggled to put my finger on exactly why. If he couldn't open himself up to the little girl baring his mother's name, what hope did the triplets have?
"How am I meant to trust you at all when you behave like that?"
"I'm not asking you to trust me."
"So, what do you want?"
"I don't know. For you to be safe and happy. To actually be able to see you and know you're alright."
"Why do you even care when you treat your own child with such contempt?" For the first time, his eyes met mine. I wasn't ready to see them, to see the pain and suffering in them. More than anything, he looked confused.
"What are you talking about? I've barely had a chance to do anything of the kind."
"Milly, you just ignore her existence. Who is her mother, anyway?" His eyes changed completely. The light of amusement was dancing in his eyes and that annoying slight grin had appeared. It annoyed the hell out of me. "What's so f*****g funny?"
"Nothing, sorry. Milly is my sister. My dad was a sick son of a b***h and gave her my mother's name. Her mother lives in the camp. Her name is Evelyn. She stays under the radar for the most part. The pair are close to Jackson, but I've never had the time or the inclination to get involved. It's hard enough seeing the resemblance of my father's face in the mirror without seeing it on her as well." I had no idea what I was meant to say. The whole idea was so farfetched I was tempted to call him a liar, but it would be easy to check with Jackson. It had never occurred to me to ask him before because I was so convinced she was Brodie's.
I needed to say something, but I was completely blank. "Right. OK." It was ridiculous, but it was all I could come up with. I was in the wrong for jumping to conclusions, but it was hardly surprising with him keeping so much from me. "Maybe if you were honest with me more often, I wouldn't jump to conclusions."
"Other than hiding my identity from you for safety reasons, what have I not been honest with you about?"
"Cassie, for starters." Suddenly, his dishonesty seemed to be something entirely fabricated in my own mind. The truth was that I understood why he had hidden himself from me when we first met. I even understood why he had enlisted Cassie to be by my side, but it didn't stop me from being hurt by his actions. Especially when considering her feelings for him. He had tried to protect me from the start, and I knew that. We never discussed what happened with Rachelle, but we didn't need to for me to know he killed her to protect me. "I feel like a prisoner in the camp."
"I get that. Things would have calmed down. I was worried about you. You don't need to hide out here to get around that. Stay with your parents, get your own place, whatever. I'm not going to lie, I would like you and the triplets to be close by. Whatever you decide, you will have my full support. You have never been my prisoner, quite the reverse."
"So you want me to come back?"
"Was that ever in doubt? I'm not going to force you to do anything. I don't want you to be unhappy, no matter what it means for me." The tears came so quickly that I didn't even have enough time to hide them from him. It wasn't even about him. It was my stupid hormones. He started to move towards me, but thought better of it. Yet more awkwardness between us.
"I need time to think." I wasn't even sure if it was true, but I needed him out of the way. Crying in front of him was the last thing on my to-do list. "Can you ask Jackson to come up?"
"You two have gotten very close."
"And?"
"And nothing."
"If there is something on your mind, just come out with it."
"I'm jealous. What do you want from me? I heard your thoughts down there. The only person you wanted was him, not me. It should have been me."
"Yeah, it should have been. That's on you."
"You don't think I already know that?" It was the first time he had even slightly raised his voice. "Knowing it was my fault only made it hurt more. You were literally praying for him to walk through the door, despite me being there by your side. Despite me being the one that saved you more than once, but it meant nothing. Look, it doesn't matter. I only came to stop you from dying and, with that goal accomplished, I was successful in that regard, at least." He turned and headed out of the room, not even giving me a chance to respond. He left me reeling. Everything seemed so unfinished. I didn't even know what he planned to do next.
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