Lusting After Layla

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Present Day

It was the end of September, the air was starting to cool, and pretty soon the leaf peepers would be filling the bar stools of Calhoun’s. Declan never imagined he would see another September in this town after he officially opened the doors, but somehow it was his fifth, and his favorite time of year.

He loved the crispness that fall ushered in. It was the perfect weather to cruise the backroads on his bike and appreciate the changing landscape and colorful leaves, signifying another year he survived. The past that had been so deeply ingrained in his soul faded a little more with each passing season. It would always be a part of who he was, but he was no longer defined by it.

Now he was Declan Dwyer, pub owner, bartender, and a resident of Red Maple Falls. He knew every single person in this town, and they all accepted him as one of their own. Five years ago, he would have thought that to be a nightmare scenario. He wanted to stay for no more than a year—just enough time to establish his business and find a trustworthy manager, but now he couldn’t envision his life any other way. Somehow, he got sucked into the small-town life, and though he managed to keep one foot in and one foot out, never getting too close to anyone, he couldn’t bring himself to walk away.

The day he decided not to run was the day he accepted whatever fate the universe had in store for him. It was the best decision he’d ever made. While he kept to himself for the most part and avoided any social events, he was content and happy with this new life he’d carved out for himself, and that was more than he could have ever hoped for.

He wiped down the bar, taking pride in the cleanliness of Calhoun’s, when the door opened, and Mason Hayes, master brewer and friend, walked in with a keg. Declan tossed the rag down and hurried to help him.

“Is this what I think it is?” Declan asked.

“If you think it’s the pumpkin imperial stout, then you’re correct.”

“I’ve been dying to try this.” Declan grabbed one of the handles and helped Mason carry it behind the bar. They put the keg down, and Mason leaned against the bar.

“You know you can come by the brewery whenever you want.”

It had always been an open invitation, but while Declan had made the decision to stay in Red Maple Falls, he couldn’t bring himself to fully immerse in town life. He needed to set some boundaries in order to keep the people he had come to care for safe, just in case the universe decided to change his fate. He would never be able to forgive himself if something happened to any one of the town’s people because of him.

“Why don’t you come by for trivia night tonight? We’re down a few players since Brooke left for London, and we could really use you.”

“You know I can’t.”

“Because you have to work.” Mason looked at him with a s**t-eating grin as if to call him on his lame excuse. “You do know you have employees, right? You’re allowed to leave the bar every now and again.”

That was true for a long time. However, if he went to trivia, next thing he knew he’d be getting invited to other town events, and where did he draw the line? It was better for everyone if he kept his distance, so he blamed work.

Now with his best waitress gone, and his new waitress unable to balance a tray to save her life, his lame-a*s excuse for once wasn’t an excuse. He really couldn’t take the night off, even if half the town was going to be at Five Leaf Brewery. Calhoun’s sat just on the outskirts of town, which brought in people from outside the town border. Many out-of-towners stopped in to grab a beer and a burger, especially in the busy fall season, and he needed to make sure his uncoordinated new waitress didn’t break every glass and dish he owned.

“It’s easier to make sure everything is running smoothly if I’m here, and without Brooke it’s been a little rough.”

“Trivia night’s been pretty quiet without her. We miss her.”

“We miss her here, too.”

“How’s Layla holding up?” Mason asked.

“I haven’t seen her. She’s been working a lot more than usual.” It was Wednesday though, and Layla always stopped in on a Wednesday to have lunch with Brooke, so he was hopeful that Layla would still drop in for her cup of coffee.

He’d managed to resist her for the five years he’d been here, but he always looked forward to seeing her. She was not only his first customer, but somewhere along the way, she’d become his friend. He couldn’t deny his attraction to her. He felt it the moment he first saw her, but he never acted on it, knowing she would be put in harm’s way if his past reared its ugly head. Instead he developed a friendship that he valued, and he respected her too much to throw it away on a fantasy that could never be, so he swallowed his feelings and reminded himself that she deserved better. She deserved someone who didn’t put her in danger just from proximity.

“I thought she’d finally slow down with Brooke out of the house and Chase moving in with Bex.”

“I don’t think she knows how.”

“Someone should teach her.” Mason glanced at Declan, eyebrows raised, and Declan knew exactly what he was insinuating.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“I’m just saying you’re single, she’s single—”

“Don’t say it.”

“Why not mingle?”

Declan shook his head. “And you said it.”

“Someone had to. You’ve been in town for what? Five years? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you date anyone.”

“There’s a reason for that.” Declan once thought he had a bright red target on his back, making him overly cautious and keeping him on his toes. The more time that passed, the more he believed his past was finally behind him, but he was still afraid of what might come. A relationship was not in the cards for Declan, a fact that he had to remind himself of when the nights were lonely and his bed was cold.

“Sounds like another excuse to me.”

“Don’t you have a fiancée you can bother?”

“Yes, but I promised my grandma I’d stop by to clean out her gutters. She doesn’t want my grandfather standing on a ladder.”

Declan laughed. “Like that’ll stop him.” Harold Hayes was a true example of age being just a number. The man was older than dirt, yet he looked and acted much younger than his eighty-something years.

“Which is why I need to get there. Let me know when you tap the keg,” Mason said. “I’ll tell my customers to stop by for a pint and a burger. Especially with the Fall Festival approaching. I’m bound to be sending a lot of clientele your way.”

“I’ll be ready for them.” Declan said. The annual Fall Festival hosted by Mason’s parents drew in people from all over, looking for a chance to pick pumpkins, get lost in New Hampshire’s largest corn maze, sample the state’s best pies, and take in the foliage. From now until the first week in November, Declan could make enough profit to tide him over for the entire year which was a godsend when the winter snows kept people indoors.

“I’ll catch you later.” Mason headed for the door. He reached for it, but someone else pulled it open from the outside. Mason pressed his hand against the door, holding it as he stepped aside.

An involuntary smile curved Declan’s mouth at the sight of Layla in her usual scrubs, her hair pulled back, showcasing her big blue eyes and lush lips.

“Thanks Mason,” she said.

“Anytime. Just getting off work?” he asked.

“Yup, pulled another double.”

“You really should slow down a bit. I know someone who can show you how.” Mason’s gaze swung to Declan, and if he were closer Declan would have decked him one. “See you later.”

Layla walked toward the bar, eyebrows knitted together. She tossed her thumb over her shoulder. “What was that about?”

“Beats the hell out of me.”

She unwrapped her scarf—the same scarf she wore the first time they met—and placed in on the bar beside her. He didn’t even ask her what she wanted. He grabbed the mug she’d returned five years ago and filled it with coffee. The engraving of her name glistened on the side; something he’d done after a year of Wednesday pick-me-ups. He slid the mug across to her, and she wrapped both hands around it, pulling it close and looking like she would hug it if she could.

She blew on the dark liquid, then took a sip. Her eyes slipped shut, and she let out a sexy moan. “You make a good cup of coffee.”

“So I’ve been told.”

She smiled and took another sip, moaning again and making him acutely aware of her.

“Enjoying that coffee?”

She nodded.

“Have you had anything else today other than coffee?”

“I’m sure if you cut me open, I’d bleed coffee.” She dragged her finger along the delicate porcelain skin of her arm, and he swallowed down the desire to follow the path with his own finger just to see if she was as soft as he imagined. Five years and the only time he’d touched her was when they shook hands that first night.

“How are you doing with Brooke and Chase gone?” Declan asked.

After Layla’s mom died, she took on the responsibility of both her little brother and sister. She was only twenty at the time, and she became their guardian. They had a close-knit family; she’d do anything for her siblings, and Declan respected that. With both of them currently across the pond, Declan imagined Layla was having a hard time adjusting.

“The house is just too quiet.” She ran a finger across the top of the mug. “A few years ago, I couldn’t wait for Chase and Brooke to move out, and now that they’re not here, I don’t know what I was thinking. Do you have any idea how deafening silence is?”

He nodded. He’d experienced absolute silence more times than he could count. Hiding out in a dangerous situation, keeping as quiet and still as humanly possible so not to blow his cover. Those few minutes, any noise was a heart-racing nightmare he would never wish upon anyone. He could relate, but he was sure what Layla was experiencing wasn’t nearly as bad as the silence he’d known.

“You’ll get used to it,” he said. “Give it time. It’s only been a few days.”

“I guess you’re right. It’s weird is all.”

“It’s a big adjustment for you.”

“Who would have thought I’d miss yelling at Brooke to give Chase his phone back?”

Declan’s eyebrow c****d. “You do realize they’re both in their mid-twenties, right?”

“Oh trust me, I know. But those two fight just like they did when they were twelve and fourteen.”

Brooke was feisty, and Declan could see her purposely causing problems, but Chase was a respected fireman in the community. To imagine him fighting with his sister was comical.

“Chase will be back next week, won’t he?” Declan asked.

Layla nodded as she took a sip of her coffee. “Yup, but when Bex is done shooting her new film, they’ll move into their new place.”

Somehow Chase had managed to snag Bex Shepard, Hollywood’s It Girl, and she was having a house built in town complete with a wrought-iron fence to keep the paparazzi out.

“You should be proud.” Declan grabbed a pint glass and rested it under the tap of the Five Leaf brewery award winning maple bacon stout. He pulled the tap handle, filled the glass halfway, then took a sip. “Chase and Brooke turned out all right.” She’d always worried about them finding their place in the world, but Layla did right by them. So many people would have run from the responsibility of raising two kids even if it was their siblings, but not Layla. She stayed and fought to keep their family together. Chase and Brooke were where they were in life because of Layla and everything she sacrificed for them. He hoped they knew that.

“They did turn out all right, didn’t they?” A proud glint shone in her eyes as she took another sip of coffee.

Declan thought about what Mason had said. After everything Layla had done, the hours she put in at work, she deserved to slow down.

He might not be the one to show her, but he could suggest it. There was no harm in that. But what did women do to slow down? He would go home and go straight to his garage to tinker with his motorcycle. He doubted that would work for Layla. “You should… go home and take a bubble bath.”

Now all he could think about was Layla n***d, covered in bubbles. Out of all the things he could’ve suggested.

Her eyes dropped. Was that a blush creeping up her cheeks? If things were different…

But they weren’t. All he had was a false sense of security. Deep down, he knew there was no end to his past until he was carried away in a body bag.

Her eyes met his, and he was locked into her gaze. He could see a future in the blue depths if he’d just open himself up to the possibilities; late night bubble baths together and endless conversation that filled the silence they both contended with.

It would never be a possibility, only a fantasy.

He needed to redraw the line and make it deeper, darker, stronger.

He rubbed at his face, his fingers bumping over his scar, reminding him of the dangerous life he was hiding from. He would never subject Layla to his past. After the life she lived, she deserved someone who could provide her not only love but security—two things he would never be able to give her.

It didn’t matter how much he wanted to take things to the next level, he simply couldn’t. Their easy banter was crossing the lines into flirting and as much as it pained him, he needed to put a stop to it.

He tugged at his beard, and with every ounce of strength he had, he stepped back, putting more than just the bar between them. “I can’t do this,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

He moved away, watching the confused knit of her eyebrows and the questions in her eyes. Before he could change his mind, he looked away and walked to the other side of the bar without as much as a glance back.