You're family, aren't you?

Of birthdays and Valentine Day's dates

The strict bedrest, by the orders of both Apollo and Hades, was slowly starting to get to the daughter of the Sea, and Hades sighed as Bianca burst into his office, red-faced and dragging Sephie in with her. This was the third time today, and it was barely past the noon. He was starting to regret offering Sephie to stay in the Underworld so he could monitor her condition.

"Uncle, I can do some light exercise!" Sephie complained before anyone had said anything. "Apollo said so!"

"You challenged Achilles to a sword match!" Bianca yelled, shadows going haywire around her in response to her anger. "Freaking Achilles! That's not light exercise Apollo was talking about!"

"It's the only type of exercise that'll keep me alive!" Sephie argued, crossing her to stare her younger cousin down. "Thalia, you, Nico and I – we can't lower our guards for a second, Bia! If the monsters don't try to get to us, Grandpa dearest and his minions will!"

"You're safe here, Sephie, at least temporarily!" Bianca mirrored the older girl's pose, onyx and stormy green eyes clashing. "Why can't you let Father, Nico, Lord Apollo and I take care of you?"

"Because I'm no damsel in distress, Bia," the words were spoken in an almost pleasant tone, but Sephie's blank face and hurricanes in her eyes revealed her true feelings. "Grandpa won't spare me just because I'm sick – in fact, he's the one who caused this. He wants me to give in and join him, and I'd rather jump down into Tartarus then do that! I need to be ready when he tries something worse!"

"You don't think…?" Bianca looked worried, and Hades pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Bianca, Sephie, enough," the Lord of the Underworld ordered, and the two girls fell silent. "Bianca is right Sephie: light exercise does not mean sparring with Achilles. Unfortunately, Sephie is also right: I doubt the simple maiming of the soul-body connection was Father's true goal. Maybe you two should spar?"

Sephie gave Bianca a dubious look. "Aren't you the bow and arrows girl?"

"And knives and daggers," Bianca bristled a bit at the indirect insult, "sword girl."

"Xiphos," Sephie corrected, "but essentially yes. Trident, too, but…" here she grimaced, and Hades' eyes widened. Children of Poseidon always did seem to be at ease with tridents in their hands, and Hades knew Poseidon had given Sephie her own trident. So, what happened?

"You lost it?" Bianca tilted her head, and Sephie shook her head in negative.

"He took it on Mount Tamalpais," she explained, and Bianca gasped.

"What?!"

"A good move, objectively speaking," Sephie shrugged, leaning on the doorpost. "One command, and I would be gone before you could say 'cheese'. The pendant was enchanted to transport me to Atlantis."

Hades nodded. Poseidon and he collaborated on the pendants they gave to their children, and the lord of the Dead personally enchanted them.

"It was just a bad luck it hid my trident as well."

Bianca sighed. "Okay. So, a spar?"

Sephie smirked, detaching herself from the wall. "I thought you'd never ask, Bia. Oh, and Uncle?" she directed the question to Hades. "Is everything ready for tomorrow?"

Bianca suddenly grinned, all teeth on the display. "Yes, Father, is everything ready?"

Hades rolled his eyes and nodded, eliciting a yelp from the demigoddesses and a high five.

"Brilliant! He won't know what hit him! Come on, Bia!" Sephie all but dragged her younger cousin through the door in an inverse of what happened several minutes before.

Hades shook his head, but could not find it in himself to stop the two schemers. He remembered his own time with his brothers and sisters before Zeus started whoring around, and harmless pranks on their birthdays was a staple. Nico will have to learn to deal with it, or retaliate on girls' birthdays.

Whichever the response, Hades knew the 24th of January would be very interesting this year.

~

"Happy birthday, Neeks/Nico/Niccolo!" was the general shout when Bianca pushed still sleepy Nico through the dining room doors. Hades and Persephone presided over the event, joined in by Thanatos, Charon, Poseidon, Apollo and Hermes from the immortal side and Thalia, Sephie and Annabeth from the demigod side.

Hades had to admit his son looked quite adorable all flustered; he kept looking around, muttering wildly to himself, obviously having hard time processing it all.

"C'mon, cuz, smile a little! 11th birthday is important!" Thalia was the first to come over, giving Nico a noogie and messing up Nico's already mussed-up bedhead. Nico yelped and ducked away, but he only ran straight into Annabeth's arms, who all but crushed him to death.

"Oh no Neeks, you're not going anywhere!" Daughter of Athena laughed, repeating Thalia's gesture and mussing up the son of Hades' hair. "We all need to give you some love!"

"Gah – Annabeth, lemme go!" Nico trashed in her grip, to no avail. "Dad! Bia, Sephie!"

"Oh no, son, you're on your own there," Hades chuckled, exchanging nostalgic looks with Poseidon. "We used to do the same thing to Zeus when we were younger and still celebrated our birthdays, remember?"

"Oh yes," Poseidon snorted, grinning like a loon. "Then he'd try to zap us, but I'd drench him and he'd end up electrocuting himself. Fun times!"

Everyone in attendance giggled and chuckled at the image, and Nico used the amusement to escape Annabeth –

"Ho, ho, Niccolo, where do you think you're going?" Sephie trapped him in a bear hug, lifting him up slightly for a good measure. "You're the birthday boy, so why are you running away?"

"Sephie!" Nico whined. "Why are you so mean to me?"

"Because it's your birthday, cousin," Apollo shook his head, a dim aura of the Sun surrounding him. "We get to royally embarrass you, shower you with gifts, and eat cake. That reminds me: why did we stop celebrating birthdays on Olympus? I mean, we don't need to say how old are we, but what about the gifts and sweets?"

"Fates, Apollo, do you want Olympus to explode?" Hermes snorted. "Remember what happened on the last birthday we celebrated?"

Apollo shook his head in befuddlement, and the demigods turned to the blushing Poseidon, smirking Hades, and confused Persephone and Thanatos.

"It was before you and I married, Persephone, so you wouldn't remember, but Zeus threw a party to celebrate his birthday," Hades recounted the story, more than eager to rib Poseidon a little for the mess he caused at the party. It was hilarious at the time, but the subsequent months brought on the Peloponnesian Wars, one of the most destructive battles Sparta and Athens had, and Hades was left with a colossal migraine, wrist cramp and bags underneath his eyes after the dust had settled. "Dionysius was more than a little drunk, and he left the wine jugs unwatched, so Aphrodite mixed in a potion she got from Hecate into a few and gave the gods to drink."

Hermes pinched the bridge of his nose at the reminder, and Thanatos groaned.

"I remember this story!" The winged god griped. "By the Creator, I wanted to strangle both Aphrodite and Hecate for the chaos they caused! The Peloponnesian Wars were a terror to manage!"

"What potion?" Bianca asked, looking a little pale.

"Aphrodisiac," Poseidon moaned, hiding his face behind his palms. "By the Fates, why did you have to bring that up, Hades?"

"Because I like holding it over your head," Hades crossed his arms with a wicked smirk. "Too bad she doesn't remember any of it."

"Dad?" Sephie asked, turning to her father, eyes wide. "Don't tell me it was…"

"Yes," Hades confirmed, enjoying the look of mortification his little brother sported. "Athena and Poseidon had quite a make-out session, until Zeus caught them, of course."

Hermes turned to his uncles, jaw slack. "So I wasn't seeing things? You two going at it like -"

"Stop it!" Both Sephie and Poseidon looked like someone drenched their faces in red paint, but Sephie was the only one who could speak. "TMI! I don't want to know!"

Others did not think so, and joined Hades in laughing at the poor Sea God and his daughter's mortification. Thalia was rolling around with Nico on the floor, Apollo and Hermes were clutching at each other to avoid the same fate, while Persephone, Bianca and Thanatos just laughed, being lucky enough to have wall to lean against.

"But the best part was Zeus chasing Poseidon around with his Bolt for touching his baby girl, but he was so drunk, he kept falling on his face!" Hades finished the story, eliciting a new round of laughter.

"Y-you're joking!" Thalia sputtered, still laughing like mad. "Y-you're m-making it up!"

"I am telling you nothing but truth, my dear," Hades grinned wickedly. "I dearly wish we had cameras back then… Dear Fates, the things we had done! All those millennia we spent moving around mellowed us out quite a bit, I assure you!"

"That it did," Poseidon commented, managing to bring his blush under control. "At least, you and I did. Zeus still has a pole stuck up his podex."

"And no amount of time that passes will change that," Hades groaned mock-tiredly, "if the current record is anything to go by."

"Okay, enough teasing others," Bianca clapped her hands. "It's Nico's birthday: we should be teasing him!"

"Why meee?" Nico wailed, much to the eruption of giggles and snorts from everyone present.

~

The birthday party was only a glimpse of what gods could really do when they started meddling with their children's lives, and Hades dearly hoped Sephie would not kill him or her father for what they had started. In their defense, they needed to get all those lovestruck idiots to back off, and it was the fastest solution. Sephie's patience was an acceptable collateral.

Not if you asked her, though.

"What in the name of Olympus possessed you to declare such a thing, Uncle?!" Sephie raged in her apartment, finally free from the bedrest orders. "Correction, what possessed you and Dad? Grandpa?!"

Hades flinched and sank deeper into the leather couch inside Sally and Sephie Jackson's apartment. The smell of sea and lavender was soaked into every square inch of the space, which would usually calm the Lord of the Dead down quickly, but right now, it only heightened his fear of Sephie's wrath. There was a good reason why he never ended up on the other end of a woman's wrath (Demeter being the sole exception, but Persephone was too irresistible) – he was way too smart for that.

Unfortunately, he forgot just how atypical his niece was in that regard.

"Do not even joke like that, my dear," Hades sighed. "To be honest, your father and I simply wanted some peace and quiet – the sheer number of letters and people knocking on our doors to ask for permission to spend Valentine's Day with you was becoming ridiculous."

"So you thought telling everyone if they want to be with me, they have to impress me? Nice work, Uncle!" Sephie huffed, crossing her arms. "I swear, if I get another guy flashing in my kitchen or knocking on my door with a Valentine gift for me, I will throw him out of the window!"

"Only boys?" Hades raised his eyebrow. He was merely teasing his little niece, but he had to check, just in case. It wouldn't do to leave things unconfirmed.

"Only boys," Sephie confirmed. "I don't bat for the home team."

"Good to know," Hades smirked. "One thing less for your father and I to worry about when it comes to dating."

"Uncle!" Sephie protested vehemently, crossing her arms. "I can find a boyfriend on my own, thank you very much!"

"Oh, we know you can," Hades shook his head, "but you underestimate what kind of power lust has over the Olympians. We sire children because we do not wish to fade, yes, but we only need a dozen or so children to exist at the same time, yet Apollo and Hermes Cabin are overflowing with demigods. Hermes is not as much at fault as is Apollo, but the basic concept holds the same. Pretty women have always been a weakness of immortals, and you, my dear, have long since passed the line of being 'just pretty'."

Sephie snorted and leaned back on the counter. "Are you joking, Uncle? I've seen goddesses, nymphs and naiads – how special can I look next to Aphrodite, Hera or even my stepmother?"

"And that's exactly why we go to the mortal world," Hades smiled and leaned forward. "The beauty of mortality is the fact you never know when The Fates will declare your time over, so you try to do as many things as you can cram in it. Immortality quickly becomes monotonous, and if there's one thing gods cannot stand, it's boredom."

"Don't I know that," Sephie sighed with a put-upon air before her face changed to a more serious expression. "But one would think they wouldn't sleep around as much when they realize how many of their children die before even reaching the camp, not to mention how many don't survive their teens."

Hades sighed, well aware of the fact – demigods were one of the only people nowadays that paid him in drachmas, and in return Hades always allowed them to skip the line and arrive at the Judgement Hall almost as soon as their souls left their bodies. The tallies of the dead Olympian children he compiled every year before the Winter Solstice never failed to bring about a small depression spell.

"Like I said, pretty women have been our weakness for a long time. Your father, Zeus and I learned to control ourselves a long time ago; forty years without a child or even a quiet side affair is quite commendable. The younger gods… they'll learn one day. They'll have enough of seeing their children die and stop siring more than a few children every century."

Sephie blinked at the dark turn their conversation took and tilted her head.

"Is this about Nico and Bianca's mum again?"

Hades shook his head, feeling Pluto rumble sorrowfully at the back of his mind. Hazel Levesque, while not technically Hades' child, remained one of his biggest regrets. He could not fault his daughter for giving her level best to save her mother from a harsh punishment, but it did not lessen the sting of betrayal and guilt he felt whenever he thought of Marie and Hazel Levesque.

"Do not fret, my dear niece, I've had several millennia to get used to the pain of losing your children and lovers."

Sephie pushed herself away from the counter and walked to her uncle, plopping down next to him and huddling at his side. Hades flinched at first from the unexpectedness of the gesture, but he eventually put his arm around her shoulder, holding her close to him and smoothing down her hair.

"Don't get used to it, Uncle," Sephie mumbled into Hades' shirt. "Don't make the same mistake I made. Never get used to pain."

Hades blinked and looked down at the human ball at his side. "Is there something you want to tell me, Persephone Jackson?"

Sephie flinched at the usage of her full name.

"Nothing important, Uncle."

"It didn't sound like nothing, Sephie." He placed a finger under her chin and gently forced her to lift it to look her into the eyes. "What are you not telling me?"

Sephie tried to avert her eyes, but Hades wouldn't allow it. "Love problems," Sephie mumbled at last, flush on her cheeks revealing just how uncomfortable she was admitting it.

Hades raised his eyebrows. "I was not aware you had a boyfriend, Sephie."

Sephie's blush worsened, and she closed her eyes to avoid looking into the hypnotizing onyxes Hades shared with his predecessor in the Underworld, Iapetus. "I don't."

"Then how -?"

"Please don't ask, Uncle," Sephie sighed, huddling even closer to Hades. "I don't want to think about it. Can we just wait for my mum and Paul to return without talking?"

Hades considered the request before agreeing to it, and before they knew it, Sephie was sleeping, her head in her Uncle's lap and drooling, and Hades threw his head back, mind lost in Morpheus' realm, one hand resting on Sephie's forehead.