Bittersweet Love

Chapter Two: A Mother's Gift

“Babe, are you sure this is something you want to do?” Evan asked with an annoyed remark as I poured the coffee in his to go mug while he straightened his tie. It’s been a week since I found out about him cheating with this Talia b***h and he’s been with her almost every other day this week. He thinks I know nothing but it’s hard to pretend I don’t know especially when the signs are there. The perfume smell on his clothes, the late nights that still go on, the secret calls and texts from his friend ‘Pat’ that just so happen to have s****l innuendos.

Yes, I went snooping. Sue me.

I try hard to pretend that I know nothing of his infidelity and he’s clueless.

And hearing him call me babe makes me cringe but I can’t let him know I know about it…not yet. I have things in the works and I need to make sure Aless and I will be all set when I confront him. I need to make sure we will be okay and June also said it would be best if I catch him in the act cheating, that way he can’t sweet talk or weasel his way out of the problem with an excuse.

Thinking about doing that and seeing it in front of me hurts but she said it would be harder for him to talk me out of leaving if I do.

I guess she has a point.

“Yeah. I think it would be good for me.” I fake smiled at him as I handed him his coffee and his suitcase, “Are you working late tonight?” he doesn’t even notice that it’s fake. He used to…

He used to be able to tell me when he knew I was faking emotions and we would talk.

Now he’s just a stranger in front of me.

I mentally shake my head and continue smiling. It won’t be long now. I just need to talk to mom and then I’m heading in the right direction. Soon, I will be able to live the life I want with my daughter without having to deal with this kind of pain.

Speaking of pain, now I was starting to get a migraine.

“I don’t know.” He mumbled as he looked down with nothing but love in his eyes at Aless who was eating her honey nut cheerios, watching Frozen on her tablet, “Depends on the contracts that I have going on and how they end up. Why?”

“I was thinking maybe we could do something together, as a family.” I shrugged, “We haven’t done anything like that in a while.” And it’s true. As much as I detest him right now and want to cut his nuts off, I still stupidly love him, I think. Those feelings don’t just go away overnight, not after seven years. Granted, maybe I’m part blame for his infidelity. We haven’t tried to spend time together. We haven’t made the needed efforts and maybe, just maybe, that’s on me.

God, I don’t even know the last time we had s*x it’s been so long. Months...

Wait…

No.

Because I’ve tried and have been shot down because he’s too busy or tired.

And that is still no excuse for him cheating on me.

Man, what a way to make a woman feel attractive.

“We’ll see. I’ll try to get out early. Maybe we can take Aless to the park or something.” He bent down and kissed her on the top of her head, “You be good for mommy okay baby girl?” He said softly.

“Yes daddy.” She smiled, “Will you really be home this time? I miss you.”

“I will try my very best princess, promise.” He sighed out before looking back at me, “I’m asking again Evelynn, are you sure you want to go back to work?” he asked again as I walked him to the door. I told him the other day I wanted to go back to work. He wasn’t too thrilled about it, actually, he was pretty pissed off. He claimed that if I went back then who would take care of Aless. Who would take care of the house? Who would be here? “I really don’t like that idea…”

What he meant to say was who was going to take care of the crap he didn’t want to take care of himself.

Because, apparently, he’s allergic to cleaning and cooking.

At least I can see he’s a decent father when he wants to be.

“Yes. Mom needs help and to be honest, I’m bored. Plus, planning this wedding for June and Travis is making me miss it.”

He reached up and cupped my face and let out a heavy sigh, but I couldn’t help but take a step back from him, stretching his reach before he dropped his hand. He didn’t seemed phased by it at all, “I just…it takes up so much of your time I don’t want you to neglect Aless and I.” he mumbled, but that just infuriated me even more.

“Like your late nights and random overnight trips you’ve been taking?” I snapped and he just stood there, glaring, like I offended him and before he could respond, I continued, “You know, it’s fine. Aless is starting school soon anyways so I’ll be working when she’s there and plus, it’s with my mom. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“And it’s those late nights and overnight trips that pay for everything you want, Evelynn. It pays for this freaken’ house! The food we eat, the clothes you wear, everything! And the big deal is you’re supposed to be here taking care of our daughter!”

“And you’re supposed to be home taking care of us!” My eyes started to shine with unshed tears as I stood there looking at him with his hand on the door handle, begging him silently to show any kind of positive emotion towards me, that he still loves me, cares for me, something. But there was nothing and it was a lost cause, “Just…go to work. I’ll see you when you get home, if you come home.” And without a final word, he opened the door and left without so much as a goodbye.

But he didn’t know that was it. That was the very last straw. I held on to the little bit of hope but he destroyed it. What kind of man who claims to love you doesn’t bend, puts you down and restricts what you do?

A man who doesn’t love you…not anymore.

I’m trying to hold myself together but I can’t. This past week has been utter hell for me and it’s killing me to hold in the emotions. June has been coming here almost every night to spend time with me and plan her wedding, but she knows it’s so I’m not alone.

Because I hate being alone and in a house this big? It’s even more frightening.

It’s why I didn’t even want this house but Evan insisted.

I went back into the where Aless was still watching her movie and took her bowl so we could head out to Fairytales.

Mom opened Fairytales twenty eight years ago with me on her hip and dad was the one that helped her reach her dream. Throughout the years, they have expanded and turned her business into something huge with branches opening throughout the state. She has planned some of the biggest weddings and receptions for some top people, including the the daughter of some congressmen and the goalie of the Stars and his wife. She’s planned holiday parties, special events for huge businesses and everything from baby showers and sweet sixteen’s.

When I came to help her with the business, it grew even more, mainly because I had my own little side business within it. I still dabble. The sketches are locked away in a chest in my closet and once in a while, I’ll go back and draw some more just to get ideas down.

Because I love to help the newlyweds. I love making the bride feel sexy and giving the groom a present from said bride. It’s everything I wish I had and could wear, but alas, I don’t wear any of my sketches or designs even if June said I should just to make myself feel sexy.

The last event I helped plan was this opening weekend for Sanders sports Stadium in Crossdale five years ago. It was a beautiful event. The owner, Finn Sanders, was able to get some soldiers to come home for a leave and surprise the children and their families. We created this huge family fun fest out in the parking lot that went inside. Players from the Stars were there for pictures and autographs and we decorated the ice rink with lasers, mild strobe lights and music as we had this huge presentation set up.

I wish I could have seen how it all ended up. They sent me pictures and still asked about me planning more events for their family so I referred them to mom. But that day, I got a call from Evan the day before demanding I come home because it was irresponsible of me to neglect our baby girl to have fun at a party. I tried to explain to him I was working but he didn’t care. He didn’t understand but now, I realize, he didn’t want to understand. I let them know I was leaving and this was my last event. I could see the sadness in their eyes. They were truly great people and I could have seen myself working more with them but that wasn’t in the cards. The night I got home, we had a huge fight and that was the last event I was involved in and it broke my mom’s heart.

But she kept going and once in a while without Evan knowing, I helped with the lingerie for brides on their wedding night. I had to do something that made me happy and that was it.

“Come one sweetheart, we need to go see Nana.” I smiled at her as I picked her up off the chair.

“Really! Yay! I love nana.” She squealed and I couldn’t help but smile at her happiness.

It’s contagious.

She’s my guiding light, the goodness in the world. She’s the reason why I wake up every day and why I smile and I would do absolutely anything for this little girl no matter how much it hurts me.

“Let’s get your shoes on and we can head over.”

“Maybe I can spend the night with nana and papa?”

“I don’t see why not. We can ask to make sure it’s okay. So let’s go baby girl. I think she said something about cookies.”

“COOKIES!” and then she squirmed out of my arms and ran out to the car, bouncing up on down on her heels ready to go.

“Mom?” I called out when I walked into her shop. This place looked even better than I remember. The walls have this vintage white wood feel to them and the windows are adorn with sheer white and soft blue curtains. Displays of different dresses were in one of the display windows along with some flower arrangements and cakes in the second window. Spools of fabric lined one wall while another had a semi-circle of mirrors with a platform in front of it. She’s expanding again which is amazing or partnering up with other local shops in the area, “MOM?”

“NANA!” Aless yelled, running from my hand and into the back where mom’s office is. I quickly followed and opened the door to see mom and dad in the office.

“God! Mom! Dad!” I yelled, covering Aless’ eyes, “There’s a time and place for that and here is not it.”

“Evie, we were just kissing.” Mom rolled her eyes and fixed her shirt while dad stood up and smirked a bit. As gross as it was to walk in on them, they are couple goals. They love each other to no end and would do anything for each other. It was a relationship I craved, wanted, needed and I had it.

Or so I thought.

But it still didn’t mean I had to see my mom sitting on her desk with her shirt half off while dad was sucking on her neck and his hand kneading her boob. There are things a girl can’t unsee.

“But still, gross.” I cringed.

Dad laughed as he came over and kissed the top of my head, “It’s always good to see you sweetheart. You should come by more often. We miss you and Aless.” He bent down to Aless and pulled her into his arms, “My bug, I missed you.”

“I missed you too papa.” She hugged right back, “Can I sleep overs?”

“Aless, I said I would talk to them.”

Dad looked up at me and winked, “Of course bug, anytime you want you are more than welcome. Say, how about you and I have a bug and papa day? We can…go get ice cream…” She had the biggest smile on her face, “And then go to the local fair and play some games…” A bigger smile, “And then we can go home and bake the best cookies while we dance around to Disney songs!”

“YAY!!!!” she jumped.

“Come on. Let your mom and nana talk and we will call your mom before you go to bed after the biggest bubble bath in the entire world!” he picked her up and took her out of the office, laughing with the biggest smile on her face, “I even think we have some of that bath paint stuff left. Maybe we’ll make art of the walls!” and she yelled yay again as he spun her while in his arms. I couldn’t help but smile at the scene. Dad wasn’t around a lot growing up for Connor and I but when he was, there was nothing but happy memories. I guess that’s the life of being a military brat and his being the assistant coach down at the university.

But looking at Aless and their bond is everything. She’s all happiness all the time and it’s what I love the most about her.

“You guys spoil her way too much.” I sighed and shook my head but still held the smile. I knew I tried to make plans with Evan today with Aless but I would bet money that he wasn’t coming home until well after her bed time.

If he did, not only would it be a miracle but it would maybe give us the opportunity to talk.

“We have a great practice run with you and Connor and now, since Connor refuses to settle down and give me a grandbaby, I have to spoil the one you gave me.” She came over and pulled me into a warm hug. God, I love my mom.

Mom is literally my best friend. She has been there for me through some of the toughest times of my life, including what happened during my freshmen year of college. I still have nightmares from that night. She doesn't know the whole story but she didn't pressure me to tell her. All that mattered was, she was there for me when I needed her.

“Thanks mom.” I whispered in her ear before pulling away from her.

“For what?”

“Everything.”

“Oh stop it.” She said jokingly as she quickly wiped a tear from her eye, “Let’s go sit in the lobby and talk about why you want to come back to the business and so I can explain to you the changes I’ve made over the past five years.”

After we got settled on the couch in the lobby, holding a cup of tea, she sat next to me as I tucked my legs under me sitting in silence. She gave me that look like she knew I had something on my mind. She knew me too damn well to the point it’s scary.

“Do I need to cut him?” She came right out and asked as I took a sip of my tea, choking on the hot liquid that burned the back of my throat, “Tell me what mama needs to do and I’ll do it. Dad has training and he can get a hold of his buddy’s. They love you like their own and they can help hide the body and be our alibi’s.”

“MOM!” I seethed, “Why do you always have to resort to violence?”

Although…

No…don’t think about it, not that way.

“Oh shush you, it’s only violence if we actually do something. Until that happens, it’s just harmless threats.” She shrugged, “But in all seriousness, what happened?”

“What makes you think something happened?” I asked quietly.

“Well, you left five years ago because your ass of a husband demanded you quit the business we built together. You help me with the lingerie on the side without him knowing, hiding it from him. A couple years ago when you brought up helping me with the governor’s daughter sweet sixteen, you two got in the huge fight and I ended up telling you to stay home and now, out of the blue, you call me a few days ago wanting to come back? Now, I know we don’t talk as much as we used to but I still know you. Talk to me Evie.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes up, wishing them to not spill the tears that started to well in the corners. Everything that has been happening over the past year has come rushing forward. The things I’ve kept hidden from my mom threatened to spill out. My lips started trembling as emotion flooded me, thinking about everything, every little detail memorized coming forward, even those I’ve kept locked in the deepest parts of my mind.

“Mom…” I whispered out as one single tear rolled down my cheek. She instantly pulled me to her, knowing what I was going to say. She always knew. She never liked Evan but she wouldn’t say I told you so.

The signs were all there. This wasn’t the first time he’s done it but I’ve been in denial. It has been going on and off since college and now I’m finally realizing the mistake I made all those years ago but I also feel like something was missing, something that could have prevented all of this.

“I’ll skin him alive.” She whispered as she held me while I cried.

“What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing baby girl, absolutely nothing.” She cupped my face with her hands, pulling me to look at her. Tears were streaming down her face as well as she looked at me, eyes shaking, her hands trembling with anger, “You did nothing wrong. You gave him your whole heart and did everything he wanted. You loved him with everything in you all these years and he’s the one that ruined it.”

“I don’t know mom…” I whispered closing me eyes, realizing something extremely important, “I don’t think I ever loved him…”

“What are you talking about my dear?”

I shook my head and rubbed my eyes with the back of my hands, gathering my thoughts, “Thinking back to everything since our senior year, I was comfortable. We were comfortable. We didn’t become official for months after seeing each other and that only came out when Zander asked me out and Evan went crazy. And then everything is fuzzy because of the accident and the next thing I know, we’re getting married. We were happy and then I found out about Aless and things started to change a bit but we were already together. And then when she was born, things were better but then got not so great again but we were…comfortable. I didn’t see the signs before because I didn’t think anything of it. But mom…actually seeing it…actually seeing him and her together…”

“It messes you up. You might not have been in love with him, which I knew all along, but you loved him for giving you Aless. You both found comfort in each other even when those deep feelings of forever weren’t there. Tell me love, how did you feel when you found out?” she asked softly.

“I was pissed but at the same time, a part of me didn’t care.”

“Why were you mad?”

I sat there and thought about it. Why was I mad? If I knew for a while things weren’t working out, was my anger justified?

Yes.

“I think I was mad because he didn’t have to resort to infidelity. If he didn’t want this, didn’t want me, then why not just tell me. Tell me and we could have figured something out with Aless but don’t hurt me in this sense. But then the question remains is if he didn’t want me, then why stay? Why get married in the first place?”

“I think he married you because a part of him cared…”

“Care? Thinking about it now, I don’t think he ever cared. After he proposed he was very cocky, especially with guys from his old football team from school. He said he loved me but I don’t think he ever did. It’s just…I remember his parents and well, everyone, and their reactions to the pregnancy, the marriage, the accident…it’s just…it was all too weird.”

“I agree Evie, it was weird but that’s how some people can be, especially those that are well off. His family is extremely wealthy so it’s no wonder why his mother and father treated you the way they did, but that is on them. They have different morals and rules they need to follow.”

“But we weren’t like that…”

“You’re right, we weren’t but your father and I also grew up differently. While his family was born into the money, we made our own, that right there is a huge difference.”

“I guess so…” But thinking about it all over again, something didn’t seem right but I may never know the true answer no matter how much I wanted it.

“What are you going to do?” she looked at me tenderly. God, I love my mom, “You can always move home for a bit. Dad remodeled the basement to his mancave after Connor left but I can change it up a bit and make it into an apartment for you and Aless. It’s easy and we would love for you two or…”

“No thanks.” I smiled at her, cleaning off the final tears that snuck through, “I have a place lined up thanks to June and I want to work here with you to get things figured out financially.”

She looked at me and smiled before she got off the couch and went to her office only to come back a few moments later with an envelope in her hands. She let out a soft sigh as she placed her hand softly on it with a smile, a sad smile, “Tell June to not worry about that place. This is for you. I promised your grandmother I would give it to you when the time was right and I think that time is now.”

“What is it?” I asked her. My grandmother, Alessandra, was someone I always looked up to. She taught me to follow my heart and my dreams. She encouraged me to be strong in the face of obstacles that came my way. She showed me how to love, care and fight for what I believe in. I embodied everything she taught me and the day Aless was born, she cried tears of joy at her namesake, holding her. I have one picture of Aless and Grandma together before she succumbed to a long battle of cancer.

I see her every day in my daughter, in my mother. I just wish I saw her when I looked at me.

“This is what happens when you cut me off before you let me finish speaking my impatient daughter. This is part of your grandmother’s will.” She sighed, “She always knew when something wasn’t right. She had that feeling with my exes before your father came around. She knew when your grandfather was hurt in the accident before we found out. She knew about everything you went through even before Zander confirmed it…”

“Wait…hold on…Zander?” I asked. Why would she bring him up. I know this isn’t the first time. I’ve known Zander for years, since we were kids, and come to find out, his mom used to be good friends with mine when college but things changed when we were eight. We were inseperatable. Best friends until the very end until he moved away when we were eight. It wasn’t until college when we kind of reunited freshmen year and became even closer but things happen and people grow apart, but what does he have to do with my past and telling my mom and grandma?

My head started to hurt thinking about him. Damn, I need to aspirin or something.

“Never mind. Regardless, she had a feeling that you would need this. She left you her home…”

“The one that grandpa built?” I asked as I suddenly forgot all about what we were talking about before. The tears started to build up, but I blinked them away. Grandpa hand built their house with the help of their friends and they lived there for sixty years before he passed. I loved going there.

She nodded, “Yes and she left you a little something and now is the right time. Babygirl, you’re all set. Whenever you’re ready to move, the house is ready for you even though my offer still stand with you and Aless living with dad and I, I understand why you don’t want to.” she handed me the folder as I flipped through the papers, reading everything and at the back, there was a letter addressed to me with instructions to read it when I needed a bit of guidance. I furrowed my brow, wanting to open it now, “Not now. Trust me. You’ll know when you need a bit of guidance and welcome back to the business my love. I am so happy you’re back.”