Make Her Mine in 50 Days

Prologue

How I wish to see her walking down the aisle, looking so beautiful while I’m waiting at the altar.

For almost six years, she was the only girl I’ve ever loved. I was willing to do anything for her; to take all the pain even if she loves someone else and to treat her child like mine and give my name wholeheartedly. I was really eager to sacrifice my whole life even just for a drop of her love.

That was how much I loved her. 

For me, there was no greater love that can be compared with my love that I had for her.

And finally... I saw her walking down the aisle. I watched her and kept my tears from falling. In all fairness, she didn’t need to wear a grand wedding dress or any makeup. With just casual clothes and almost bare faced, she’s still looking so beautiful as ever.

“Brendt...” Sandra’s father called for my attention when we were alone.

He said that he wanted to talk to me when I just got here in San Francisco to apologize. I became a jerk for being rude to Sandra when I didn’t even know the reason why she suddenly came here with Sean and Lyrae. I let my jealousy rule me.

I stared at his eyes with full of concern. Hindi man masyadong halata ngunit kita kong nanghihina na siya at pinipilit na lamang ang sarili na magmukhang malakas.

“I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to come earlier po...” paghingi ko ng paumanhin. “I really am praying for you full recovery, Tito.”

He timidly smiled at me. “Thank you for your prayers, but I don’t wish to recover. In fact, I already want to die soon.”

My forehead creased at his statement. “Tito, huwag naman po kayong magbiro ng ganyan,” I told him. “Sandra wouldn’t like it if she heard you talking like that.”

Natawa naman siya. “Ayaw niya nga...” sabi niya. “Pero napaintindi ko na sa kanya kung bakit iyon ang gusto kong mangyari; kung bakit hindi ko na ginusto pa ang lumaban. I know my daughter will understand me.”

“Pero bakit, Tito? I mean, I’m sure you can still be saved—”

“Brendt, there are things in life that one needs to give-up, “ pagputol niya sa akin. “As for me, I’m choosing to give up my life because I know that there will be a better one waiting for me in the afterlife—that is to be with my wife who died years ago.”

My admiration for Sandra’s father had strengthened, knowing how much love he has for his wife. Kahit gaano nang katagal namatay ang kanyang asawa ay hindi ito napalitan sa kanyang puso. And now, he wants to put an end to his life just to be with his wife.

“You’re a great guy, Brendt. I can see that,” he suddenly said. “I’m thankful that Sandra had you when she was lost. But now, I can see that my daughter’s finally finding the right path. The only thing that blocks her from taking the path is you.”

My lips parted as his words tried to sink in.

“I have nothing against you. In fact, I’m happy that you’re there for my daughter and granddaughter as well,” he said. “But if you ever feel like my daughter isn’t happy with you anymore, please set her free. Ikaw na ang mismong magdala sa kanya sa tamang daan na hinaharangan mo. Iyon lang ang tanging hinihiling ko sa’yo, Brendt. Help me make my daughter be happy when I’m already gone.”

His words that time weren’t accepted by my mind and heart. I still did some wicked ways to win Sandra in a very unfair way.

I overheard her and Ashley talking about her being a dual citizen. I knew its advantage. She can file a divorce. I was waiting for her to make a move, but she didn’t. Kaya ako na mismo ang gumawa. I slid the papers in Sean’s room before I left San Francisco to go home.

I thought I succeeded for a second or two, especially when I got her and Lyrae back. I thought I would be fully satisfied seeing Sean miserable by taking his family from him, but I wasn’t.

Sandra’s father’s words were haunting me down, whenever I saw Sandra faking her smile to look like she was okay with me.

“Hindi kami kasing close ni Sandra katulad ng pagiging close nila ni Ashley pero kilalang-kilala ko ang pinsan kong ‘yan,” David, Sandra’s cousin, suddenly said.

He asked me to have a drink with him. I accepted the invitation since he’s her cousin and I felt like he had a very important thing to say.

“Sabi nga ni Ashley, pagdating sa pagdedesisyon ay lagi siyang may kapalpakan na ginagawa,” sabi niya. “No offense, bro, but I guess leaving Sean before and agreeing to marry you are two of the worst decisions she’d ever made.”

I remained stoic, trying to hide my offended feelings.

“She’s only doing everything for Lyrae. She decided to marry you because of Lyrae. Her decisions only rely on Lyrae. Ni isa sa mga desisyong ginawa niya ay walang nanggaling mismo sa kanya dahil iyon ang gusto niyang gawin,” he explained. “Alam kong hindi ko dapat ‘to sinasabi, but I can’t help it. I can’t just stay behind and watch you two fail, sooner or later when I know I could do something. Pare-parehas lang kayong mahihirapan kapag pinagpatuloy niyo ‘to.”

I sighed and drank the whole shot of liquor. “I know...”

“Think of it, Brendt...” He trailed off and put down his beer before he turned to me. “Are you fine spending your life with someone who’s only forced to be with you? Are you ready to marry someone who loves someone else? Are you ready to tie yourself to someone who’s still uncertain of marrying you?”

David and Tito Fred’s words teamed up to make me decide the most selfless decision that I ever made since the start of my entire existence in this world.

Ipinangako ko sa sarili kong sa oras na makarating siya sa akin ay papakawalan ko na siya. I would finally set her free even though I really wanted to be tied to her… even though it hurt so much.

I didn’t know how I managed to still wear a smile when my heart was already breaking inside. Maybe because I knew that she would be happy after all. That decision was for her.

I laid out my flattened palm when she was already approaching me at the altar after her graceful walk at the aisle.

Nang mailapag niya ang kanyang kamay sa akin ay wala na akong inaksaya pang panahon. Agad ko siyang hinila papalapit sa akin at binigyan ng isang napakahigpit na yakap kasabay nang pagtulo ng aking luha.

“Do you know how happy I am seeing you walking down the aisle, while I wait for you here at the altar?” I softly asked her. “I’ve always dreamt of that ever since I met you.”

Huminga ako ng malalim at mas maayos siyang hinagkan. This is gonna be the last time I get to hold her like this. Kailangan ay sulitin ko na ang pagkakataong ito.

“Pinangako ko sa sarili ko na kahit mahirap, imposible at komplikado, ikaw ang babaeng papakasalan ko,” pagpapatuloy ko. “And now my dreams came true! Nagawa ko nang hintayin ka sa altar. Nagawa ko nang makita ang babaeng mahal kong naglalakad patungo sa akin kahit... kahit na hindi niya ako papakasalanan.”

She leaned her head on my chest, and it just ached more.

“But I’d rather break myself than break you, Sandra…”

How I wish that the pain could just stop even for a second because I didn’t think I could handle it anymore. I thought heartbreak was just another expression. I never thought that it could be literally felt.

“Like what your father told me, if I feel that you’re not happy with me, I should let you go.”

Naramdaman ko naman siyang napatigil bahagya sa aking pag-amin patungkol sa pag-uusap namin ng kanyang ama. 

“I love you so much... but I know you don’t feel the same way. And now, I’m letting you go...”

Those five years she gave me to spend a life with her were already enough. Masaya na akong nabigyan niya ako ng pagkakataong maipakita sa kanya kung gaano ko siya kamahal. I was already fine with that.

She slowly slipped away from my hold, and I saw tears streaming down her face when she looked up to me.

I wiped her tears away with my thumb and gave her a smile.

Lumingon naman ako sa bukana ng simbahan at nakita kong nandoon na si Sean. I also called him to come here. Gusto kong magkausap agad silang dalawa ni Sandra pagkatapos ko siyang pakawalan.

Kung ako ang naglayo sa kanya kay Sandra, ako rin ang magbabalik sa kanya. Kita kong lumingon din si Sandra doon at nagulat siya sa presensya ni Sean bago niya ako muling nilingon.

I just nodded at her before I let go of her hand.

“I’m sorry, Brendt...” she sincerely apologized before she tiptoed to kiss me on my forehead. “Thank you for everything,” she whispered before she ran to follow her husband.

Sinundan ko naman siya ng tingin habang tumatakbo palayo sa akin upang sundan ang lalaking mahal niya. I would never forget those memories spent with her. It was a great experience that I would forever hold in my heart.

Siguro nga ay dadating talaga sa punto ng buhay natin ang kailangan mong pakawalan ang isang bagay na nagbibigay sa’yo ng kasiyahan. But for me, it was not a thing, but a person. I sacrificed my love that I have, just for her to be happy. Pinakawalan ko siya dahil alam kong hinding-hindi ko siya mapapasaya. I could see how much they love each other. Tanging ako lang talaga ang pumipigil sa kanilang dalawa.

Finally, I realized why she’d done it before. It was really for the best.

Siguro rin ay may tao talagang dadating sa buhay natin. It was either that person  was a blessing or a lesson.

But for Sandra who came into my life, she was the best lesson that I had learned, but the best blessing I could never have.