The One I Dare Not Love

16 • Mary •

Life is so unpredictable, and last week at this time, I wouldn't have dreamed or even thought about a night like this where I'd be trapped between a rock and a hard place.

Where I will be awestruck while staring helplessly, hungrily at a man's chest. A man so dominant and so dangerous. Shamelessly, I allowed my eyes to roam around his exposed chest, and I took mental note immediately.

The first night I spent in the Fort he had pulled off his T-shirt for me. Then, I wasn't in my right senses enough, so I failed to feed my eyes on his body, but now I can, and I do.

Malva's bare chest was covered all in tattoos. Down to the back of his palm and fingers. Images of roses lay there, sending an undeniable message of his love for that particular flower.

I looked up to see two Lanyard Deluxe silver chains around his neck, which instantly elevated his presence to one of power and refinement. He got two earrings on as usual and His fingers, already impressive, were further adorned by rings on his pinky, forefinger, and middle finger, creating a bold and eye-catching display of style.

Then I finally settled my face on his face. That captured attractive features that had made me forget the discipline and morals I have practiced for years.

" Done? " He finally mutters and I jerked back to reality by his words. For some moments there, I couldn't speak, but I saw him waiting for my response.

" Uh ... Yes. I'm... I'm sorry about the Backlit Frame pictures " I apologize immediately after I regain my lost voice. " I was only... Only curious "

Malva didn't speak for a while. Instead, he stares at me. His silence, however, was so unnerving that I almost voiced out. He seems to possess a wicked ability to know how I am feeling.

" That's my sister " He finally confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. His face as well not giving anything out. " And my mother "

" What! " I took no time before exclaiming. " Chiara didn't tell me you have a sister. She only mentioned your mother and she said it's forbidden if I talk about her with you "

" Not everyone knows Roberta. She went missing right after my mother died. She must have hated me so much that she didn't bother to say goodbye when she ran away "

I suddenly turn pale at his explanation. Now I know he must be hurting, but still, he could manage to shrug and act as though It's not a big deal.

" I'm... I'm sorry, " I whispered to him, but he smiled instead. That sad smile almost makes me burst into tears.

" Your roommate is right. I'm not comfortable sharing my mother's memories with anyone so I'd appreciate it if we didn't bring her up again. " He concluded, and at once, my heart thudded. Before I could give a response, he turned away and disappeared into the bedroom ahead.

What comes next is the lights in the living room going off. Scared at the darkness I quickly make my way into the room to see him sitting on the one couch in the spacious bedroom, about to light up a cigarette.

" Why do you seem horrified? " He asked me the moment I burst into his bedroom, interrupting him, and I smiled shakily.

" The lights "

" They react to my presence. I set them that way, " He explained carefully and then he made to continue with his cigarette, but this time I stopped him.

It takes so much effort from me. So much nerves and strength I never thought I could muster.

" Malva? " I called, and he stopped. " Can ... Can you please ... Do not smoke tonight? "

In his bedroom, I noticed there were no framed pictures but expensive and luxurious furniture.

A moment passed in silence as my request hung up in the air. I believe he wouldn't comply, but to my awe, he did. He set the cigarette in an ashtray beside him and leaned back to gaze at me.

" What should I do then? " He asked, making my heart skip a beat.

" How could you be so attractive without even trying? You should be jailed for that " I unconsciously blurted out.

Right after the words came out from my lips I swiftly slammed my palm right against my lips, horrified at my carelessness. Did I just say those words aloud?

Embarrassed, I look away now, fidgeting on my feet, but my panic moment didn't last long. Malva has an order with an expression on his face that tells the running is over.

" Come here "

This time around, I couldn't run, nor could I hide. I turned gently towards him, and I saw him holding out his palm for me. An offer I would be so foolish not to take.

Slowly I match forward, compelled by the moment and the scent swirling around from him. I took his palm and he brought me down on his lap with one movement.

My breath suddenly came out in a sharp sigh the moment our eyes locked. He is stalling and I know when he wrapped a palm around my decanter waist and brought further to himself.

" Sit Comfortably," He whispered to me, and I obeyed without protest.

I felt different. A foreign feeling I now understand as lust washing over me like never before. Before I could make a move, I realized I had already gone wet. This fact makes me stunned. Scared that he'd know about my eagerness, I look up to Malva only to see his lips curved at the corner for a smile.

" This must be your first time sitting on a man's lap, " He whispered hoarsely to me, and I gulped down. Flooded with emotions, I couldn't seem to think of an answer.

" It is, " I whispered at last, just as I let out a moan and then move forward to him, grinding my wet p***y against his already hard d**k.

" Ever kiss anyone? " He asked again as he steadied me well enough on his lap while his lips were so close to mine that I could feel his breath.

" Not yet "

I was hoping he'd lean over to be my first but I was disappointed. Malva pulled back and sighed. His eyes are unreadable as usual, but his intentions seem suddenly clear to me. I realize it in a split second.

" You won't be making love to me tonight "

He stared back at me in silence, his quietness speaking volumes and confirming my deepest suspicions. Suddenly, I felt a wave of patheticness wash over me. Am I truly that unattractive to him, to Malva? Why doesn't he want me? The questions swirled in my mind, each one a piercing arrow to my self-esteem.