The One I Dare Not Love

18 • Mary •

All my life, I never thought I had slept so peacefully as I had done in Malva's bed. I didn't even wake up at night to visit the restroom. Instead, I slept all the way.

The sun, however, finally decided to wake me up that morning, and I steered a little. I flutter my eyes open to see I am alone in bed but not alone in the room. I turned slightly to see Malva sitting down quietly on the couch, his eyes on me, unblinking and his expression unreadable.

I slowly wake up while I rub my eyes carefully, the memories of the night before enveloping me like a warm caress. He hadn't made love to me, but he had made me feel love.

" Good morning," I greeted him gently, but he didn't respond. Instead, he asked.

" Tea or coffee? "

At the tone he had used, I raised an eyebrow in somewhat confusion. He seemed annoyed this morning, a bit different and distant. What happened to the Malva of last night?

" Uhm... Tea will do, " I replied softly, and he got up from the couch in no time. Malva walked up to me and reached out to take my hand. Then he eased me up with that one movement and pulled me towards the exit.

The moment we are nearer to the exit I suddenly stop walking.

" The Lion, Your Pet " I mutter, but he shakes his head in the negative.

" I locked up his room already and for the record it's harmless "

" But I nearly died last night "

In response to my words, he tilted his head and regarded me with wide, open, blue sea eyes.

" Talking about death in the morning, huh? So Mary "

After muttering, he walked out, and I quickly followed through while smiling secretly at how he had mentioned my name. It's a beautiful day in Malva's living room and now I could better see everywhere bathing in the beautiful sunlight.

I look around briefly towards the Frame picture to see nothing. It seems to only illuminate at night, or maybe Malva had turned it all off. Away from my eyes so I wouldn't make any comment about it.

I turned immediately just in time to see Malva already making his way into the kitchen. Swiftly, I rush in after him to see his new world. A very large white-painted room he used as his kitchen. He got all stacked full of different types of Italian ingredients, including the ones I didn't know about.

" Wow. Why did you have your kitchen when you joined the godfather and others to eat every time? " I curiously asked.

" Poison," He replied, making me skip a heartbeat.

" What? "

" I was poisoned once. It's deadly " He explained as he began to make my tea. I was stunned at his confession but more awestruck at how he had appeared so cool with everything.

" Were you always like this? Calm even at the sight or talk of danger? " I asked a bit angrily while I felt the emotions of vulnerability overwhelming me. The thought of him dying never for once settled well with me and I think I know the reason now.

" As a Mafia man, a leader you'd undergo the most intense training. The First one is never to let your emotions be visible "

" And the second? "

" Never let anyone know your next move "

" But I know your first movement," I told him with a gentle innocent smile. " I know you'd pass me the cup of tea now "

I expected him to laugh at my joke but he didn't. Instead, he smirks. A wicked sinister one that makes my heart clenched. Somehow I know he will stun me.

" That's not my next move, Mary. My next action is to tell you good news "

" Why do I have the feeling I won't like this good news? "

" Relax," He urged softly, and then he turned, his jaw set. It is so surprising his emotions and expression can change in a split second. " Your brother, Ivan is in Italy as we speak "

Right there, I flinched just as I smiled very dryly.

" Probably for his concert. What else? He is a famous popstar "

" No. He is here actually for you "

Cold sweat suddenly broke out from my forehead. I began to panic, but I held on, taking all my strength not to lose composure.

" Well, I am sold to the Italian Mafia Organization. It's already sealed, right? "

" I plan on breaking it, " Malva responded gently, and right at that moment, my health dropped.

" What are you talking about? "

" My Dad wanted me to persuade your brother to go back, and I am going to use you, but that won't be the exact case, Mary. You didn't belong in this fort. You belong out there, with the sisters, in your Parish so I will be letting you go with your brother and ... "

" No! " I exclaimed all of a sudden. " I can't go back anymore, and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't certainly bail on you. If I didn't come back to the fort you will have to pay the consequences "

" I am ready for any punishment, Mary. It's the Decision I have made already. It's sealed. No argument. Drink your tea now and come out. We will leave in thirty minutes "

Malva's words hit me like a ton of bricks, leaving me aghast as he walked past me and out of the kitchen. Adrenaline pumped like into my legs at that moment, and I rushed after him.

" Malva I do not want to go back home. There is nothing to go back to. I can't possibly face my dad, who sold me to the Italian Mafia Organization, and I can't be a nun anymore. Can I? "

He stopped at my question and then whirled around to gaze at me. His eyes were Steady, and his jaw was set.

" You can't be a nun anymore? Why? Are there any criteria one has to meet before taking a vow? As far as I know, a Virgin can be forgiven and welcome into the Parish to become a sister, right? "

His response came through that moment and it slammed the reality right into me. My jaw nearly fell when I got the answers.

" Was that why you didn't take me last night? " I asked, seeking answers, but instead of a response, he turned away, disappearing and leaving me standing alone in The Jaws.

He couldn't bear to face the disappointment etched on my face, nor would he acknowledge the emotions he harbored for me. My knees buckled under the weight of his silence, and I crumpled to the ground, stunned by the cruel twist of fate. How could Malva make such a decision on his own? And why did he have to hurt me so?