Fated Mistake

Chapter 4 – Painful memories

   “Evania Raymond, you have disgraced my name. What will I say to Jonathan? How will I face him?” Dad raged with anger and I tried to hide behind my brother Edwin.

“Dad, please calm down. Please give Eva a chance to explain herself.” Edwin tried to defend me.

“Edwin, don’t try to defend this unfaithful brat. She did know that her marriage is fixed; even then she had the courage to be in a relationship with someone else. How Jonathan will bear the news? His heart is so weak that he will die when he hears this.” Dad said and fell on the sofa behind him.

I had never seen him this broken. This is all because of me. Edwin ran towards dad and tried to console him. Mom came and sat by dad’s side and said.

“Ed, we can solve this problem without telling anyone.” She looked at me with burning eyes.

“No Marg, you have never done that in your career. I know it’s against your ethical values.” Dad opposed.

“I know Ed that it’s against my values but your words are more valuable for me. I will do it, Ed. I will get rid of this child.” Mom’s words broke me and I fell onto the ground. Erica, my little sister came running towards me and hugged me. Mom being the best gynecologist in the city has always stood against the process of abortion. She even runs an NGO with the aim to protect the unborn. She makes the moms deliver who wants an abortion and then give the child for adoption to barren couples. She has saved a lot of unborn lives so far. But today she is forced to go against her values just because of me.

“I am sorry mom but that’s not possible,” I said between my cries. Mom and dad looked at me unbelievingly.

“I have already tried to get rid of this pregnancy. It went wrong. Now if I did try an abortion again, I would become barren for the rest of my life.” I told them the truth. I did try to do it all myself and it all went wrong. Being just a student of gynecology I just had the printed knowledge about the process. I had never done or witnessed such a thing before. When the matter slipped from hand, I had to go to my mentor Dr. Teresa Moore and consult her. I told her my situation and she tried to help me but it was already late. She told me that the damage has been already done. If I tried to go further with the process, then it will make me barren.

“That means there is no other way to keep my word. Then there is no use of you in this house or in our lives. I abandon you, Evania Raymond. I take my name back from you. From now on you are not a Raymond.” Dad stood up and declared my future. Everyone looked at him in shock. After a few moments of silence, mom stood up with dad and said.

“I am with my husband and I support him in his decision. Today onwards we only have two children, Edwin and Erica.” Mom’s words tore my heart into pieces. I never thought that my mother who always supported me throughout my life will leave my hand when I needed it the most. I looked pleadingly at mom and dad but they didn’t budge from their decision. Then I looked with teary eyes towards my brother Edwin.

“Mom, Eva needs us at this time. We can’t just leave her to wander. She is your daughter. Please, mom and dad, forgive her. We can make Uncle Jonathan understand the situation. I am sure they will understand us.” Edwin again took my side.

“Edwin, why don’t you understand the seriousness of the situation? Jonathan is not in a condition to accept such a matter. Jacques is his only son and no father can bear to hear such news about his future daughter-in-law. I have made my decision and that’s final. Evania has to leave this house without the name of a Raymond.” Dad said as if making a death judgment.

“But dad where will she go? She doesn’t have anyone other than us.” Edwin again tried to convince dad.

“She can go to that bastard whose the child she’s bearing,” Dad said with hatred and this time his eyes showed the same emotion. Mom suddenly stood up and went inside her room. I couldn’t see her face. I am sure she would be hiding her tears.

“Edwin and Erica, if you want to accompany your sister you can but remember that you will have to cut all the relation with your parents if you have to do so. If you chose to stay by my side, then you have to cut all the connections with Ms. Evania.” Dad said and followed mom.

“I am sorry Eva. Please forgive me for my cowardice.” Erica said while hugging me and then she too went inside.

I sat on the floor without knowing what to do next. I have nowhere to go. I don’t even have a job. I have just completed my internship and no hospital is going to appoint me without any recommendation. I am all alone now.

“No my dear, you are not alone. I am there for you always.” Edwin said as if he read my mind.

“Thank you, Edwin. But no, I can’t allow you to suffer for my doings. I am happy that you stood for me. From here I have to sail my life alone. Don’t worry I will be safe. Please take care of dad and mom. I know they love me and it’s not easy for them to take such a decision. If you leave them now, they will get shattered. I will leave before anyone wakes up in the morning.” I said with a smile. I didn’t know from where that courage came.

“But Eva, where will you go?” Edwin asked and I had no answer.

“I don’t know Edwin,” I replied sincerely.

“Then let me help you to find a place,” Edwin said.

“No Edwin, I don’t want dad to know that you helped me. I will find a way out. Thank you so much.” I denied his help.

“Eva, at least tell me about the father of your child. I will inform him. You can go to him and I am sure that the man you love will be sincere to you.” Edwin’s words gave me new hope. I haven’t thought about it until now.

“Edwin, I haven’t told him about this pregnancy. You are right, he will never abandon me. I will go to him. Don’t worry about me.” I said but I myself didn’t know about his whereabouts. I didn’t want Edwin to get worried.

“Okay, but promise me whenever you need help, you will call me right away. I will always be there for you.” He said and hugged me. A tear fell from his eyes. I have never seen him cry before. He quickly went to his room as if to hide his tears from me.

I stood up and went to my room. I know that this will be my last night in this room. But I have no time to waste. I have to pack everything I need. I have to leave before anyone wakes up. I started to pack everything I had in three bags. I just packed my clothes, certificates, books and some photographs of my family. I didn’t have any cash or financial assets. That’s when I noticed piggy banks at the top of the shelf. From my childhood, I always had the habit of saving in the piggy banks and I never allowed anyone to break it. So there are around 12 piggy banks. I took it as I know I will need it when I leave this house.

I couldn’t sleep all the night and I am sure the same will be happening with my whole family. By 4 in the morning, I took a shower and got ready to leave. I wanted to say my farewell to all but didn’t have the courage to face them. I didn’t know when I will see them again. I left the house I was born and lived for the last 21 years. I didn’t turn around as I feared that it will break me down. I walked with the three bags to the nearest bus stop. There is no bus at this time but I didn’t want any neighbors to see me leaving. I have to leave this place before anyone sees me. I had no idea where I will go but some unknown power guarded me. I looked around but found nothing and then I realized it’s coming from inside me. I am not alone. I touched my stomach. I have my baby with me. Tears fell down my cheeks.

“Eva, Eva, where are you lost?” Bella shook me on my shoulders and brought me back from my painful memories.