So In Love

Caught Off Base-5

The next morning over bowls of cereal in cold milk, Ange asked, “So where you from, chico?” When Tyler shrugged and shoveled a spoonful of corn flakes into his mouth, Ange persisted. “You don’t know? Or don’t want to say?”

From where he sat across from Ange, Tyler stared into his bowl and refused to look up. Embarrassed about last night, Ange suspected, but he didn’t mention it. Anything he said would just bother Tyler further, and the kid was already skittish enough. He reminded Ange of a broken doll, the pieces glued together again but the damage still visible. Everything about the kid made Ange ache. He wanted to fix what he could and that surprised him, but more than that, he found himself wanting to make sure nothing ever hurt the boy again and that…that terrified him. Who was this guy to him? No one. No one at all.

So why didn’t he believe that?

Ange frowned into his cereal and tried not to take Tyler’s refusal to look or speak to him this morning to heart. Crying to sleep in a stranger’s arms had to be a difficult thing to admit to…for a guy who talked tough like Tyler did, it was probably downright humiliating. But just as Ange was about to say something, anything else, Tyler muttered under his breath, “Ohio.”

“¿Perdón?” Ange prompted.

“I’m from Ohio,” Tyler explained, his voice stronger, more sure this time.

Ange chose his words carefully. “What brings you here?”

Another shrug. “I took a bus.”

With a laugh, Ange wanted to know, “Why?” He sobered when Tyler’s mouth twisted into a grimace. “It’s okay, TC. You don’t have to say. I’m just being nosy. Your parents know you’re here?”

“My dad.” Tyler’s eyes filled with tears he blinked back and he pushed away from the table, angry all over again. “They don’t give a f**k about me.”

Ange sighed. “You don’t know that—”

“My dad’s on Town Council.” Tyler spoke quickly as if to get the words out and over with before they could cut too deep. “It’s an elected position he’s had my whole damn life. It’s a small town, everyone knows everyone else, that kind of place. I mean, the people I graduated with in high school were the same kids I knew in kindergarten, you know?”

Ange nodded in encouragement and Tyler’s voice turned bitter. “So my junior year, this new boy shows up in my class. Here I am just coming to terms with the fact that I like guys and suddenly there’s someone entirely different from everyone else I’ve ever known. And guess what? He’s into me. Thinks I’m hot s**t, waves to me in the halls and talks dirty to me in the boys’ room, watches me when we dress out for gym. How could I not be interested?”

For the first time all morning he looked at Ange, who grinned. “You talk like it was so long ago. How old are you anyway?”

“Old enough,” Tyler answered, defensive.

“What’s this boy’s name?”

Tyler shook his head as if shaking the memory away. “Doesn’t matter. Thing was one day? He invited me over to his place, said his parents were out of town. Took me up to his room and next thing you know, we’re having s*x. He was my first, in every way, and I couldn’t get enough of him, I swear. When he looked at me, I thought I was in love.”

Ange knew where this was headed. “But?”

Scowling into his cereal, Tyler told him, “His dad ran against mine for Council. He didn’t have a chance in hell of winning, new guy in a small town, and he knew it. Then my father gets this envelope in the mail. Anonymous, no return address.”

A chill ran through Ange. “Uh-oh.”

Tyler nodded. “Inside were a bunch of full-page color photos of me and this kid. Naked, of course. His d**k in my hands, my mouth, up my ass. Him sticking it to me in every possible position. Close-ups of him jerking off into my face. Sick s**t like you’d only see in a hard-core porno, things you do when you’re with someone who turns you on and you don’t think anyone’s watching. Great quality pictures, too. No doubt it was me.”

“Damn,” Ange whispered.

Tyler wiped a his eyes with a rough hand, his mouth pulled down into an exaggerated pout as he struggled to keep his emotions bottled up inside. Ange wanted to tell him it was okay but that would be lying. Yeah maybe this all had happened in the past, but the pain lingered like shards of broken glass, rattling around in Tyler, cutting him up inside.

Finally he took a deep breath to get through the story. “They made me go to a counselor at school, and a shrink, and the damn priest to boot. They told me I was bad just because I liked it. Told me it was wrong, I was going to hell, I was nothing better than the f*****g child molesters you hear about in the news, just because I thought I loved him. Because I thought he loved me. How could that be wrong? Tell me that, Ange. How…”

His voice dissolved into a soft sob. Reaching across the small card table, Ange took Tyler’s wrist in his hand and smoothed his thumb along the kid’s skin. “Hey,” he murmured, speaking low. “It’s okay.”

With effort, Tyler pulled himself together. “f**k him,” he spat out, pulling his arm away from Ange. “f**k them all, you know? I don’t need that s**t. I don’t need any of them, not anymore. The minute I graduated I hit the road and I’m not ever looking back.”

“Good for you.” Ange wanted to touch him again, take Tyler’s hand in his, take the kid in his arms again and hold him close. But Tyler had pulled away, and Ange wasn’t one to give chase. “So what are you going to do now?”

In a small voice, Tyler admitted, “I don’t know.”

He sighed and Ange stood, gathering their bowls just so he wouldn’t be tempted to do something stupid at that lonely sound. Tyler slouched in the folding chair and watched Ange’s hands with lethargic eyes. “Maybe Atlanta,” he said, almost absently, as if thinking out loud. “Hit the scene down there, see what damage I can do. This time yesterday I was at the Greyhound bus station downtown, looking over the prices and calculating in my head how much I’d need to get down that way. You know how much?”

Dumping the bowls into the sink, Ange shook his head. Here’s where he hits you up for some cash. “A hundred bucks?” If Tyler asked, would he give him that much money? Ange wasn’t sure yet himself.

But Tyler shrugged, disinterested. “Something like that, I don’t know. Atlanta’s so far away. I don’t even know if I want to go there anymore.” He fell quiet and Ange could almost feel that gaze boring into his back, gauging him, watching his bare arms as he rearranged the cups in the sink to make room for the bowls. Softly, so low that Ange almost didn’t hear, Tyler whispered, “Thanks for taking me in last night.”

“No hay problema,” Ange said. “Don’t mention it.”

He waited for Tyler to ask to stay. Nervous anticipation hung between them, sharp in the air like an unpleasant scent, neither wanting to be the one to ask. What would be expected of them then? Where would things go between them?

What happened next?

Finally Ange sighed. “You want to stay here.”

It wasn’t a question, but Tyler answered with one. “Can I? Just for a few days, Ange, really. Maybe I can get some work, you know? Make enough money to move on, or something. Pay you back.”

“You don’t need to—”

“I want to,” Tyler said. And then, simply, “Please?”

How could Ange possibly say no?