The Bad Boy's Oath

No one ever tells you that growing up in a world where you are the backup isn't living.  They don't tell you that all the training, pushing and learning you go through. Put yourself through, hoping to be the best you can is only because you have to be a replacement in case something happens to the original first choice.  You get loved differently. Looked at with a nose in the air. Talked about as if your hard work isn't enough because you weren't the original first choice. And all you really want is to meet the expectations of the people you love in your life.  No one chooses you first. Not even the one made for you.  Someone created by the Moon is supposed to love, cherish and adore you for eternity And even when they don't choose you first, but as a fall back plan. Ha. That just means no one chooses people like me first.  I've wanted to run away for years. I've tried everything within my moral compass to get banished. Or to be set free. What's the point of me being here?  What's the point of waiting around to replace someone I love when there is only one him? I'm just the backup. I'm not him. I couldn't be him if I wanted to.  The first born son. The rightful Alpha by birth. Thankfully even though I hate that my whole life has been built around me being a second him. He's never treated me differently. Never thought of me as less than who and what I am.  But even so, if anything ever happens to him, I'll be the replacement Alpha. Alpha Ludovic Dubois.  That was something I worked for my whole life. Something I trained for. Something I always thought would be mine if I worked hard enough for it.  Until a few years ago when I found out that it was never going to be mine. That title, that responsibility, that life would never be mine. That I sacrificed my years training to be the runner up. That it didn't matter. It would always be my brother. Alpha Louis Dubois.  His name literally means brave warrior. And my name means famous warrior. I'd rather be the brave one, than the known one.  But I'm definitely the known one now.  Trying to surround myself with the negative since none of the positive ever did me any good.  Nothing in this life is just for me. Just mine…  Nothing.