Soul Wanderer

Chapter 2

2

That was strange. Had I imagined Mr. Intensity standing by the forest’s edge? Had I imagined him in the main square earlier, too? Was he now a part of my hallucinations? But I hadn’t fully entered an episode when I had seen him. Unless I was now hallucinating and seeing things without the crippling pain and dizziness that came beforehand.

It was a possibility. After all, my episodes were supposed to get worse and worse. Maybe seeing things that weren’t there was the next symptom.

“Mirella,” Ramon called, bringing me back from my dark thoughts. “What is it?”

“Nothing, really.” I pulled my jacket tighter against myself. “What brings you here?”

“First answer me. Why the hell are you out here in the cold?”

I smiled at that. “The cold sobers me up.” And it kept me sane longer. Or at least, it seemed to.

“You’re crazy,” he muttered. If only he knew how true that statement was. “I came to see how you’re doing.”

Suspicion snaked its claws through my chest. Did he know about something? “Why?”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re my phen, Mirella, and you’re going through some trying times. Can’t I ask you how you are?”

A loud sigh of relief escaped my lips. So, he was talking about that. Okay, I could handle that. “I’m okay.” It was an automatic response. I wasn’t really okay. I didn’t think I would ever be okay again. “I’ll be okay. Don’t worry too much.”

“Easier said than done,” he mumbled.

Ramon was still a mystery to me. A couple of months ago, he was closed and quiet and grumpy. I had this idea that he hated everyone and everything, and he was always in a bad mood. Turns out, Ramon was closed and quiet, but not grumpy. I had perceived him that way because, in the few situations in which we had interacted, he seemed to have a problem with the entire world.

But after he found out he was my half-brother, Ramon started opening up. Or at least, trying to reach out more. And after he turned into a werewolf and became isolated from the tziganes, who were afraid of him, he had told me he now understood what it meant to be different. In my case, I was the heart maiden—something good. In his case, he was a werewolf, a natural enemy of the tziganes.

Thankfully, the elder council had understood the situation, and after talking to and testing Ramon, they concluded he was mostly in control of his shifting and could stay in the enclave. That decision hadn’t agreed with everyone, and he now spent more time alone than before.

Hence, why he stopped by to check on me often.

I gestured to the front door. “Want to come in and have some hot tea?”

Ramon shook his head. “No, I came to invite you for a training session.”

I frowned, thinking of my schedule. We all had the day off today because of Sloan’s ceremony. The only thing I had planned was my night shift at the infirmary—my last punishment session.

Without anything else to fill my time, I nodded. “All right. I’m up for it.”

“Great. Then meet me in fifteen minutes at the training center.”

He spun and marched away to change, and I did the same, but I froze on the porch when I remembered Mr. Intensity. Holding my breath, I glanced around, searching for him. But he was nowhere to be seen. There was only Leander and Lash.

Certain Mr. Intensity was a hallucination, I shook my head and entered my cabin.

* * *

“Here.” I handed a small thermos to Leander when I exited my cabin. I pitied the warriors for having to stand in the cold to tag along with me. Though the warrior’s uniform was weather resistant, it wasn’t enough for the bitter cold of a January in Connecticut.

Leander looked at the thermos. “What’s this?”

“Tea.” I gave Lash a second thermos bottle. “It’s very hot.”

Lash’s brows furrowed. “For …?”

“Because it’s damn cold out here, and I wish you two were inside where it’s warm?” I could simply invite them to come inside with me, but the cabin was too small and I would feel uncomfortable with them so close. Besides, their orders were to not only guard my back, but also to check the surroundings every few minutes and make sure no suspicious tzigane, gadjo, or creature got too close. “You know what? Never mind. If you don’t want it, just leave it there.” I gestured to one of the rocking chairs on the porch.

Lash clutched the thermos closer. “No, it’s fine. Thank you.”

“Yeah.” Leander looked everywhere but at me. I didn’t blame him. Tomas and Sloan were his best friends—one had been badly hurt and the other died because of me. Unfortunately, the enclave didn’t have many skilled warriors, otherwise I would have asked him to be excused from guard duty. Like Tomas had been. “Thank you.”

Ducking under my heavy coat, I climbed down the porch steps. Silent even on the slippery stone path, the warriors followed me as I made my way onto the enclave’s streets. Because of the cold, there weren’t many tziganes out, which I was thankful for.

However, the training center was quite full, probably because there wasn’t much to be done outside other than shovel snow, or throw salt on the stone paths so it didn’t ice over. Apparently, the warriors got bored easily, because many of them had come to train.

I froze when I saw Theron in one of the rings in the main area, and Tomas and Artan walking around the weight-lifting equipment.

Shit.

Hoping they hadn’t seen me, I rushed down the hallway and into one of the studios in the back. It could be used for yoga or Pilates or stretching, but it would have to be enough for sparring this time. Although it didn’t have a door, the archway was wide, and it was still out of sight.

Knowing I needed some space, Leander and Lash stayed outside, hanging in the hallway. With the training center full of warriors, who would dare attack me? Unless the warriors themselves turned on me. After the Maine mission, that was a possibility.

Enough with the bad thoughts. I slipped off my coat, cleared my mind, and started stretching. I couldn’t help but think of dancing whenever I stretched, even if I would be sparring instead. I hadn’t danced in so long that I wondered if I still knew how.

I was sure my soul and heart hadn’t forgotten. Dancing was a part of me, and even if I never danced again, I would always love it.

“I thought you would be here.”

I glanced up and saw Ramon stepping into the studio. I raised my hand in greeting. “Hi.”

He pointed to the archway. “If I had known they would be here—”

I shook my head. “It’s all right. I can avoid them, but I can’t hide forever.”

“Are you sure? We can come back later.”

I gestured to my yoga pants and thermal top. “We’re already dressed and here. Might as well go with it.”

One corner of Ramon’s lips curled up. My heart squeezed. He looked so much like Theron when he did that. The sharp face angles, the dark eyes, the full lips. Ramon only needed to let his hair grow to his shoulders, and I could call them twins. With his easy half-grin, he took off his jacket and joined me in the middle of the room to stretch.

Five minutes later, Ramon shot up and faced me. “Ready?”

I pushed to my feet. “Ready to have my a*s handed to me, you mean?”

“You’re getting better.”

I snorted. “You don’t need to sugarcoat it.”

“It’s true.” He stanced himself—feet apart, hands up. “Ready?”

I rolled my eyes, but mirrored his stance. “Ready.”

As much as I hated hand combat, I knew it was a necessity. My magic had been taken from me multiple times in battle, and I hadn’t been able to do much. I needed to be able to defend myself.

But if I ever got good at it, I definitely wanted to learn how to wield a sword.

Ramon and I circled each other. He feigned to the left, but I didn’t fall for it. I feigned to the right, and he didn’t fall for it either. For a long time, we danced around the mat, our eyes locked on each other.

He flashed an image in my mind of him swiping my feet from under me and throwing me on the mat. I groaned. “Are you giving me a heads up?” Since finding out he was my brother, Ramon and I had been testing our mental connection. We couldn’t talk freely like Theron and I did, but we could conjure images in each other’s mind at certain range. I liked to think that it would come in handy in sticky situations.

“No. I’m trying to distract you.”

I rolled my eyes. He really expe—

My thoughts came to an abrupt halt when hands closed around me and something hard crashed against my legs. I lost my footing and fell on my butt. Pain spread up my spine.

“Not quite as I had pictured it,” Ramon said, a teasing tone as he scrutinized me.

“Ow.” I made a face, mad at him. “You’re using your werewolf agility and speed. Not fair.”

His brows pinched together. “You won’t fight normal people out there.” He offered me his hand.

I slapped it and got up on my own, my butt sore. s**t. “I hate it when you’re right.” I groaned as deja vu hit me hard. I had said, or at least thought, the same thing whenever Theron or Artan mentioned I had to know how to protect myself and had to quit whining, or whatever. Why did these men like to see me beat up? Was it that amusing?

“Ready?” Ramon bent his knees and brought his fists back up.

After rolling my shoulders, I got into position. “Ready.” Or at least, I pretended I was.

He came at me again, fast as lightning. I was able to sidestep him, but before I could react, he spun around and got an arm lock around my shoulders. I jerked, trying to free myself from his hold, but his arm was like a steel bar. I couldn’t do anything.

“Relax,” Ramon said, his voice calm. “We’ve practiced this. You know what to do. Just shut down the doubt and believe your body will remember what to do.” I groaned. Ramon let out a soft chuckle. “Come on, Mirella. Just do it. Relax.”

Closing my eyes, I exhaled and relaxed my muscles. I flooded my mind with images from our earlier classes, where he taught me these moves—and I kept freezing and messing up.

This time … this time, I would do it.

Snapping my eyes open, I dropped into a wide squat, fast and hard. Ramon’s hold was gone. With fluid movements, I brought my elbows up and hit him hard in his kidneys, then I stepped back and punched his solar plexus. Ramon had been ready and hardened his stomach, but air still forced out of his lungs. With an impish glint in his dark eyes, Ramon lunged at me again.

This time, I didn’t think. I just acted.

I blocked his incoming arm, pushing it to the side. I stepped into the open space I had created and brought my elbow to his ribs. Ramon tried to get me again by closing his arms around me, but I spun out of the way just in time. To finish it, I landed a side kick to his knee and another one on his shoulder.

He smiled at me. “Finally! You’re getting it!”

Out of breath, I waved him off. I had struggled with most of these movements in the first two months of training. They were so different from dancing ballet—the foot position, the way the leg had to turn in certain kicks … it all had felt unnatural for a ballerina. But the flexibility helped along with my tenacity.

“It must be the new instructor.” It was only half a joke, but my progress did coincide with the change.

“Keep going and soon you’ll be able to fight me for real.”

My jaw dropped. “That wasn’t for real?”

He chuckled. “I was holding my strength and agility a little.”

“A little?” I prodded him. Now, I wanted the truth.

“Just a little.”

Which meant he held a lot of it back.

“By Saint Sara-la-Kali, I’ll never be able to do this.”

“Oh, come on, you’re doing fine, Mirella. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

I turned on my heels and said, “I call for a water break.” I grabbed my water bottle from the inside pocket of my jacket and took a sip while Ramon watched me. I frowned, remembering something. “When is the next full moon?”

His eyes darkened and his jaw popped with the question. “In ten days.”

I nodded but didn’t push the subject. Ramon had been a werewolf for about six weeks, and even though he now could shift at will, there was still one time each month when he couldn’t: during the full moon.

So far, we had had only one full moon. Not sure what to expect from the new werewolf, the elder council had ordered Ramon to be locked away in the strongest cell in the prison building. Good thing too, because Ramon had lost all control. He became a real monster, and if it weren’t for the enchantments reinforcing the cell, he would have broken out and attacked us all.

I was sure he didn’t like spending a few days each month in the prison, but right now, it was better than having him running amok and causing panic.

“There must be a way for you to control the shift during the full moon,” I pondered. Why hadn’t we thought about this before? “We should research it.”

“I had been thinking about that, but I’m not sure it’ll work.”

“Why?”

“I became a ruv from whatever experiment the red alchemists performed on me. We have no idea what exactly they did. I bet there’s no way to control the beast within.”

“You won’t know until we try.” A sliver of excitement danced inside my chest. Researching a way for Ramon to control the shift during the full moon was something more for me to do, something to occupy my mind and time. “I don’t care what you say. I’m doing it.”

He snickered. “You’re stubborn.”

“Is that supposed to be something new?”

Ramon shook his head. “All right, all right. Enough. Let’s keep training.”

“Yes, sir.” I performed an Army salute, before joining him in the center of the room again.

“Ready?”

I spread my feet apart, the left one slight in front of the right one, and brought my fists up, protecting my chest and neck. “Ready.”

The next second, Ramon lunged at me.

I sidestepped him and landed a roundhouse kick to his stomach. Then, I dropped my leg behind him and hit the back of his neck with a knife chop. I was stepping out to punch him in the ribs when he twisted around and grabbed my wrists. Like he had taught me, I swung my arms inward and—

Pain exploded inside my head. Groaning, I dropped to my knees as my sight darkened.

“Mirella, what’s going on?”

Kill him.

Finish him.

He’s a monster.

Kill him.

He’ll betray you.

He’s evil.

Kill him.

The voices filled my head along with white-hot pain. The pain spread down my neck and chest, making it hard to breathe.

“Mirella.”

He lowered his guard.

Do it now.

What are you waiting for?

Kill him.

I pressed my hands to my eyes, willing the pain and the voices away, but they kept coming, whispering in my ear.

He’s the enemy.

He’s evil.

Kill him now.

Tremors overtook my body, and I fell to the ground, unable to hear or see anything other than dancing black stars and the whispers. The pain twisted my muscles, and I was sure I would pass out at any moment.

My limbs went numb as I gave in to the pain and the whispers. If they wanted to take me, then so be it. I was tired of hiding and fighting this disease.

Suddenly, a breath of fresh air filled my lungs. The whispers retreated, my vision cleared, and the pain faded.

“Are you okay?”

I blinked, trying to get my bearings. I was on the floor and strong arms held my back up.

“You scared me,” Ramon said, startling me. He was kneeling in front of me.

Then who was holding me?

Slowly, I turned my face to peek at the person whose arms were around my shoulders, and I found a man with fervent hazel eyes staring back at me.

Mr. Intensity.