Introduction
Year 2014, Past
"Look at yourself, Lili! Look at you!" I can't stand to see her like this any longer. I brushed away the tears that fell from my eyes. I walked closer to her. "Please! Save yourself! That ash*le only wants you for s*x!" I said, almost begging.
I know how much she loves him, but this is not right any longer! She's a mess! I always saw how she cries for a mere stupid guy who never sees her worth. I saw her beg, offer her body, and do some f*cking sh*tness just to keep that f*cking despicable scuzzball guy who never knows how to consider others. And now here she is lying on the hospital bed trying to kill herself.
We really can't force someone to stay with us long, even regardless of how long we want them to stay. Loving someone who doesn't love us is a pure torture. Just like Lili said, I really don't believe in love. I never fall. I have never dated someone before. I never open my heart. That's not because I don't want to be hurt because of love, but because falling in love is not really in my vocabulary.
"Stop saying things as if you actually know what I feel! Vanessa, I love him. I really do! I will die if I can't have him. I'll die." She starts sobbing. Damn it!
I close my eyes as tears keep falling into my eyes. I really couldn't stand to see her like that. Every time that damn ash*le messes up with her, she's always the one who is left miserable. I keep telling her that he is not good for her, but f*ck that stupid love for making my sister out of her mind. I know letting go of the one you love the most is so hard, but isn't it harder to keep someone even though you already know that it's not healthy anymore?
"Look at my wrist, this is nothing, I can do more..." I gasped when she showed me her wrist.
"How long have you been hurting yourself? Lili, Maxwell is an ash*le. Just let him go." I kneeled down in front of her, but she kept saying that she would die if she couldn't have him back. "Okay, leave everything to me. I'll do everything for you." I hugged her as I let her cry in my arms.
No matter how much I try to convince her, she never listens. Sometimes, what we think is best for us, will really be the one that will destroy us. The happiness we found with them, turns out to be a flood of tears and pain. This is why I hate the concept of love. I don't believe in love relationships between a man and woman. That's trash. I don't want to be miserable, just like Lili.
F*ck that love! I pull my hair as I keep thinking about the things that could make her feel better, until... a stupid thought crosses my mind.
I drove my way to that ash*le's place. My eyes darkened when I saw him with another girl as he was happily linking his arm around her waist. I didn't think twice. I walked towards him.
"Leave. I have someone to deal with," he said to the girl beside him as he throw me a despicable stare. They kissed torridly in front of me before the girl left. Dirty shits!
Maxwell is a playboy and I still don't know why some girls are head over heels to him. There's no damn good about him. He's a trash!
"You asshole!" I slapped him hard on his face. He only sneered. "My sister is at the hospital, because of you! And yet you're here having a blast day with some stupid b***h you have a fun night with? What did you do to my sister?" I keep punching him, hurting him, but he never stop me — he let's me do what I want. "
"You're done?" I glared at him. He is now staring at me as if I'm only a trash to his eyes.
"No! I'm not!" I was about to slap him again when he stopped me by grabbing my hand, and in just a snap of a finger I'm now so close to him. "Get your f*****g dirty hands off of me, Asshole!" I emphasize every words I utter.
He smirk. "Why? What are you going to do if..." I gasps when he lean closer to me. His face is only an inch away from me right now. "Vanessa, you can't do anything, because just like your sister, you're only a piece of s**t to me." His index finger touch my lips. "You're here for your sister, right? Do you want me to f**k you too? I think you're also good —" He wasn't able to finish his sentence when I head bang him. He let go of me.
"You f*****g dirt bag!" I gritted my teeth in anger.
He stopped the security that was about to step in. I glared at him. He touch his forehead with a playful smirk on his face.
"What do I need to do for you to get back with my sister? I'll do everything. What?" I asked that immediately makes him chuckle.
"You're unbelievable, Woman!" He chuckled sarcastically however I was caught off guard when he suddenly stare at me as if he will do something I don't like.
A devilish smile formed into his lips.
"You'll do everything?" He immediately pull me towards him. His arms are around my waist. This is too intimate. "Let me f**k you then," he whispered into my ears that made me shiver.
A guy like him will never change, and he never will. I want to kill him but killing him wouldn't be enough to get back at him. I want him to taste what pain is — I want him to suffer. However I know that's not the solution to save my sister, for now.
My nerves started to react he sniffs the side of my neck.
"I'll get back to your sister, in return I'll f**k you. Would that be a win-win situation? You will taste me. You should be happy —"
"Okay," I cut him off. He smirked.
I know this won't going to be easy, and this is hilarious stunt that I will do, but I can't think of anything anymore. If saving my sister will cost my virginity, I will do everything — just to save her.
Maxwell brought me to his face. My whole nerves are shaking, I'm nervous. I can't think of anything. Is this really the right to do? I took a deep breath as I keep trying to calm myself.
"Get naked and bent over the counter," he said in a cold deep tone. "But wait, are you a virgin?"
I bit my lower lip.
He chuckled. "You are. Then... let me savor you first. Lay down and spread your legs wider."
I never dream this kind of s**t! I never wish to experience this kind of dirty shits! However here I am letting someone f**k me just so I could save my sister.
I let Maxwell use me. I let him do what he wants to my body even though the pain I feel is already unbearable. Lili, this is all for you.
"You're tight, Vanessa. You're really a virgin!" He sounds so happy doing what he supposed to do.
I cover my face as tears started to stream down to my face. It seems like he is ripping me whole life. It's so painful. I can't do it anymore.
"S-Stop please... Maxwell stop..." I keep begging him as tears flooded my eyes, but he never stops. He continued thrusting deeper and wilder.
"I'm not done yet, not until we explode." He owns my lips. He is kissing me as if he is a hungry beast. "Moan my name, Baby. Scream! Oh f**k! Heaven!" he hissed happily when he finally reach his climax.
I couldn't think of anything anymore. It seems like my mind filled nothing. Tears still streaming down from my face. Maxwell stood up from the bed.
"Stop crying. You should be thankful instead. I didn't know that you're too loyal for your sister, Vanessa."
I closed my eyes for a couple of seconds. "Just make sure you fulfill your promise." I tried to get up enduring the pain I feel. Our eyes met. "Go to the hospital right now and make her feel better. Don't f*****g tell her what happened to us. I'm warning you!"
Enduring the pain I took my clothes, and without casting him a glance I walk towards his bathroom. As soon as I lock the door, I sob. I feel so dirty. I f*****g feel so small.
After that day, I saw how happy my sister again. Maxwell really did get back at my sister. Thankfully my virginity didn't waste for nothing.
However I thought it will continue... that they already found their happiness with each other, but everything only a temporary. Lili came to me again — crying. Maxwell broke up with her, again.
"That guy will forever be out of your league, Lili. He is different from us, so better wake up from your goddamn illusion! Stop being delusional!" I hissed angrily as I emphasized every word I utter.
I'm disappointed not only to her but also to myself. I'm also having a hard time dealing with the trauma I had experienced by losing my virginity however here I am comforting her again.
"How dare you tell me shits, that you of all people who doesn't know how to love has the damn right to belittle the love I have for him?" She walks closer to me. Her eyes are swearing. "Do you think I'm doing this for money? No!" I closed my eyes when she slapped me.
I closed my fists. This insane! I want to slap her to wake her up from her insanity, but then I know that it won't help her to get her senses back. She already lost her mind for that asshole who never appreciate her.
"Where are you going?" I asked as I tried to stop her, but she just push me. "Then f*****g go! Make yourself more miserable! Go beg! Go offer your body!"
I wasn’t able to stop my tears anymore as I watch her walk away from me. I really can't longer save her. I already did my best. I close my eyes as I let myself to cry.
My eyes pasted on my phone when I received a message from unknown number, however without asking, I already know who it is, it's Maxwell. I fix myself. I'm going to deal with him tonight. I make sure that he will regret everything seconds of his life.
There's a decision that it so hard to make, decisions that will only ruin us — just like what happened to me.
As soon as I reach his place I didn't think twice to slap him hard.
"You said that you will f*****g won't going to hurt her again! But what have you done? I let you f**k me. Use me! And you f*****g dare to hurt my sister? You're indeed an asshole, Maxwell! This is the reason why I despise your whole existence! I will f*****g kill you... " I wasn’t able to finish my sentence when I heard a broken glass.
My heart immediately pound as I slowly move my head.
"Lili?" Tears started to stream down to my face when I saw my sister.
"You f****d him? Vanessa! Answer me! You f****d him?"
I wasn't able to move my feet and couldn't able to stop her when she slap me.
"I will explain —"
"Explain for what? I heard you loud and clear! You f****d him! You're a b***h!" She slapped me again. I can't do anything to protect myself, because I know I'm also at fault. "You're a dirty b***h!"
I want to tell her that I did that for her, but I couldn't put myself together.
"I hate you Lili! I don't want to see you again!"
I want to protect myself. I want to defend myself. This is so unfair. I cast a glance at Maxwell who only raised a brow at me. I f*****g hate him. I want to hurt him.
I just watch Lili walk away leaving me with the despicable asshole.
I brush away my tears when our eyes met again. "Are you happy now? Is this what you really want to happen from the start? f**k you Maxwell! If you're getting back at me for what I did to you, do you think this is kind of unfair? This is too much! You just prove to me that you're indeed a worthless asshole who only good at being an asshole!"
I have had enough of him. He is heartless.
If I could go back to that day when I let him use me, I will f*****g won't it happen. I'm so stupid for letting myself get fooled by someone like him. I should have just turn my back at them and act fool. I shouldn’t have step in.
When I get back to my place, Lili immediately throw my things at me. She is mad, I know. I want to explain what actually happened but I don't think she will understand and listen.
"Get out! Leave! Don't ever show yourself at me again —"
"Lili, I'm pregnant," I cut her off. She should at least know what I'm going through right now. "I'm not saying this for you to pity. I know you're mad, and I won't apologize for what I have done." I wipe my tears. "I will leave, and won't come back here again —"
"Get rid of that baby." That caught me off guard. "I won't allow you to carry his child! Not you," she said angrily.
I stared at her in disbelief. I can't believe what she's saying right now.
"Do you want me to kill my baby? No!"
"If you really care for me, you will. Vanessa, there's still a chance between me and Maxwell. If he found out about you carrying his child... I will lost him forever." She started to cry again. Oh f**k! "I will forget that you f**k him. I will! Just please..." She kneeled down, begging me helplessly.
I cover my mouth to stop myself from sobbing. I can't. I can't kill an innocent baby.
I shrugged my head. "I won't tell him about my child. I will leave. I will hide my baby forever." I let go of her hands.
Sometimes there are things that will happen unexpectedly. Things that will change everything. When that night happened, I didn't know that something big will going to change in my life. With that mistake, I didn't know that I will be going to bear his child.
"I'm sorry, Lili. This time I can't save you. I will leave, so be happy."
---