My Bullies, My Lovers

5: Tori

Bren smiles as he holds his hand out for me to take, not for a handshake, but as our first physically romantic interaction. I shyly place my palm in his, gripping the strings of my bag tightly in my other hand. It's not often I meet a decent man, so the trust is below ground level, even more so when the man appears like Bren—easy, nice, and sweet. It's almost always a facade, one that hurts too greatly when it cracks open to reveal true colors.

“What are we going to watch?” I ask, knowing we'd be going on a date, but not knowing what kind until he told Alicia just now.

“Spirited Away.” He grins widely at me over his shoulder as he starts us at a sprint.

“Wait, what?” I'm practically tripping over my converse as I try to keep up, feeling excitement rush over me. Haven't felt that in a while. Don't question him, Tori!

“There's a small theater that is doing a Studio Ghibli marathon today. I wanted to catch my favorite one with you. If that's okay?” He knows all too well that it's okay by the way he eyes my purse again.

“More than okay.” Now I'm smiling too, feeling the dead butterflies in my stomach spring back to life.

We run outside, with me laughing as Bren almost trips and I follow suit, each of us barely catching ourselves. A lovely pair of quirky, clumsy people. We make it to his dark green Jeep where he proceeds to open the door for me and help me up. Such a gentleman.

He's in the seat beside me, putting his phone to charge before reversing. Dammit, I left mine on the coffee table in the living room. It's fine. I won't need it…right?

His music begins to play so loud it startles me, jumping as the speakers boom to life. “Stellar” by Incubus serenades my ears part way through as he reaches for the volume button. I grab his hand, shaking my head no as I yell, “I love this song!” Because I really do.

The ride is spent with us howling out Incubus songs as their album plays until we reach our destination. I haven't felt this hopeful about a guy in quite a while, so I'm bracing myself for the downfall that's soon to come. It always comes.

Again, Bren opens the door for me and helps me hop off the Jeep, taking my hand with such ease it doesn't register in my mind at first. He leads the way around the corner to a small theater I'd never been to before. It's old, but has that vintage charm everyone seems to love nowadays. They've kept the original theater sign hanging on the front of the building with a frame of iridescent bulbs.

The workers wear small red hats, matching vests, and striped white and red button down shirts. There's a vibe and I'm definitely digging it as we approach the small rounded window to order our tickets. Bren says what we need and pays so fast I don't have time to even fumble in my purse.

Two small stubs print with a themed background, gracing the paper with Totoro himself. I smile so wide, I have to contain my squeal as he hands me my ticket. My inner nerd is screaming. Surely I look insane, the way my eyes are devouring the art, enjoying every little drawn Totoro, from him sleeping to him holding an umbrella.

“Pretty cool right?” He waves the stub in the air, clearly noticing me geek out. I nod, biting my lip to keep from smiling any bigger. I'm not a freak. I promise.

“Very.” I smile as normally as possible. What even is normal, anyway? I follow him past the red swinging door with a small, circular glass window at the top and into the lobby.

The aroma of movie theater popcorn immediately greets me, inhaling deeply so that every cubic inch of my lungs is filled with the scent. The lobby is fairly empty, with the exception of two workers and ten other patrons looking to snack while they watch. We join the line in silence as Bren fixes his gaze at the menu.

Meanwhile, I'm busy wondering what I can order without seeming like the fatass I am. Why is this a thought I have to have? f**k you society. I decide I'm going to order whatever the hell I want and pay for it myself because I want Twizzlers, a large popcorn bucket, sour worms, and a soda. I'm splurging. Nom nom.

My spirits are high, my stomach growling, and my mouth watering as we wait our turn, being next in line. I'm so focused on the counter, on the worker who'll be taking my order, and the beautiful display of candy on the shelves behind him that I don't care to notice the people around us, not sensing the danger I'm in.

His cologne is what snaps me out of my daze, triggering me with his scent alone. Ryder Hayes. I freeze just as the customer in front of us takes their things and leaves. Bren takes a step forward, as he should, leaving me rooted in place, too focused on his scent. He's close, but I am not sure how close. Feeling it may be questionable, I try not to look around.

Chill the f**k out, Tori. You're not the same girl you used to be.

Taking a deep breath, I lift my foot to take a step, finding myself unable to do so as Ryder has a hold of me. His hand has taken hold of my wrist, keeping me in his vicinity. His breath blows the hair around my ear, tickling me with unwanted warm air.

“Cheating on me, Vicky?” He whispers, his lips lightly tickling my earlobe for a brief second.

Goosebumps erupt down my arm, raising the hairs throughout my body, and pooling a strange warmth in my gut. An all-too-well-known fear takes hold of me and no matter how much I tell myself I've changed, at this very moment I can't seem to shake off high school me. Staring at the back of Bren's head with worry he'll reject me because of Ryder. It wouldn't be the first time.

Ryder, Blaze, and Thorne made sure to scare away any males that showed even an inkling of interest towards me. They kept me isolated, easy to find and pick on, making sure I had no support system to help me, to build me back up and grow strong.

Bren turns to his right to ask me what I'd like, finding I'm not there. His gaze meets mine as he pivots to the right, spotting me a step behind him. It doesn't look good. I know it doesn't. Ryder still has his hand around my wrist with a tight grip that's somehow gentle.

It feels like this is the movie, a tense scene in which I'm the main character, as I watch Bren, waiting for his reaction. There's nothing I can really say here that would help, that could explain this mess in a way he'd still find me appealing afterwards.

“Hey.” Bren tilts his chin up in a nod as he addresses Ryder, as if he's not some strange man clung to his date. “You have your hand on my date, and by the look on her face, she doesn't want it there.”

His words are cold hard steel, a vast contrast from the demeanor he's shown me so far. This isn't the charmer who showed up at my apartment. No, this is a man who fights, who doesn't take s**t.

My muscles ease at his words, feeling a relief I didn't think I'd be getting in this situation. I want to cry, feeling so stupid, like some sort of burden. Some first date. No one wants to have to physically fight for a girl on day one. That's just asking for too much. Isn't it?

“Aww, is that true, Vicky?” Ryder teases, letting my wrist go as he raises his hands in the air. “You don't want me to touch you?”

There's something hidden in his words. I know it. It causes a moment of hesitation as I answer. “No. I mean yes.” I fumble, trying to get my head on straight. “It's true. I don't want you to touch me.”

“Oh, Vicky. Don't you know that's all you had to say?”

Lies. There's something hidden behind those electric blue eyes, something that says this is only the beginning. I watch him carefully, seeing him sly himself back into his innocent act as he lifts his arms and takes a step back.

“Sorry, I interrupted your date.” He addresses Bren, his tone so genuine anyone aside from me would believe him. “Vicky, give me a call when it's my turn.”

He winks at me before turning casually as if that last sentence isn't some bomb he just set off on my first date. My mouth is slightly agape, catching Ryder's side eye as he smirks, knowing exactly what he's just done.

Bren is quiet with nothing else to say, nothing to ask aside from what I would like to eat. The great hunger I felt moments before disappeared into thin air like Casper the friendly ghost. I settle on a bag of sour worms, knowing I need to stick something in my stomach to keep it quiet. He pays again, but this time feels different from before.

I suddenly feel like I owe him so much more than the small amount of money he'd just spent on me. The atmosphere has changed drastically from the beginning of our date, twisting my stomach into such a tight knot it pains me to breathe.

We take our seats just as the movie starts, enjoying the animation style on the big screen. Every color is vibrant and warm, transporting me away from this nightmare and into a magical world. The movie has my undivided attention, eyes open wide to take in every small detail, feeling the comfort this cinema has always brought me from a young age.

The feel of Bren's hand against my own, pulls me from my escape, turning to look into those sparkling green eyes. He smiles at me and things feel normal again, as if the whole Ryder debacle never happened. We continue watching, eating snacks with our hands held between us for the rest of the movie.

When the credits roll, we stay in our seats until everyone has cleared the theater. Bren stands first, taking the empty bucket of popcorn and cup, like a good person, and dumping them in the trash as we leave. He pulls me along behind him, leading us back to his vehicle without a word.

I feel hopeful again, a stupid little smirk playing at my lips as I stare at the back of his chestnut hair. He has a fresh cut that makes me want to run my hand over it to feel all the small little hairs tickle my palm. I'm lost in thought when I'm pushed against the Jeep door, causing the step-up to dig into the back of my thighs.

This…this scene is too familiar. I know what's coming next.