Yoonmin Oneshots

I Wish I Could Stop Loving You So Much

Silently, they sat under the most beautiful cherry blossom tree in the big Garden behind the old house of Mr. Lee, the friendly old man who lived alone in the small wooden house after his wife died two years ago. They were listening to the cricket’s chirping happily to each other and enjoyed each other's presence as the wind blew in their faces, messing up their hair in many directions. Their eyes were closed, hands nearly brushing as they stared up to the sun slowly going down, turning the small city they lived in dark and lighting up other countries at the end of the world with its beautiful colors. The smiles on their faces never disappeared, not even when the whole garden went dark, the bright moon came out and the only noise to be heard were the bugs singing their own songs. A barely audible sigh escaped the younger boy's mouth as he slowly opened his eyes. This moment wasn't meant to last, he knew. As soon as the sun went down and the warm atmosphere turned into an cold one, the feeling of going back settled in his chest. His attention turned to the older boy as another sigh made it's way out of his mouth. The blonde boy looked beautiful in the moonlight. The white light of the moon made his blonde hair and pale face shine perfectly. His pink lips matching his flawless features like it was supposed to be. His cat like eyes were closed, his chest rising up and down as he breathed in and out of his small nose. The younger boy thought he was asleep for a minute but his thoughts got answered when the older boy's eyes fluttered open and he looked at him with those beautiful brown eyes, the moonlight making them sparkle.

"I can hear you thinking too much"

The blonde broke the silence, his voice a little horse from not talking for hours but wasn't it always like this, he thought. The younger laughed and looked at his small, chubby hands, trying to avoid looking into those knowing eyes. That laugh people often used when they wanted to change the topic, obviously not wanting to talk about it. He was afraid the older boy would see the emotion and pain in them. Afraid, he would want to talk about it and ask him what's wrong. He didn't even know what was wrong with him himself. The younger was afraid he would be sad for him, pity him and would look at him differently if he found out. So, he stayed silent and laughed it away like he always did when the other boy got suspicious. Drowning his feelings and bearing the pain himself was better than not seeing the beautiful boy again. Because Jimin would do anything to see the beautiful smile on the older boy's face forever, would do anything to hear soft laughs making their way out of his mouth. 

But who was he to make him laugh when someone else already did it for him instead every single day. Saw his face everyday, went to bed with him everyday, touched and kissed him every single day. Woke up to his face in the morning and heard him say how much he loved him. He would never be the one, he would never be able to experience the feeling because the other already had someone in his life that made him happy. Someone that wasn't and would never be Jimin. 

Jimin stopped smiling, stopped hoping, loving whenever he heard the older talk about him. The blonde boys eye's smiled whenever he mentioned him and his pale cheeks turned pink, making Jimin wonder how it would feel like to make the elder blush with cheesy pick up lines and back hugs. 

Their relationship was perfect. Jimin always wondered if he could make the older boy happy as much as his boyfriend did. He couldn't stop himself from thinking how their relationship would be like if they dated. Every night the same thoughts were on his mind, making it impossible for him to close his eyes and sleep. He lost the count of how many times his hyung had mentioned his eyebags and red eyes at school but he just laughed it off like he always did. 

But everything that seems too perfect had a bad side. Behind every perfect  relationship is a shadow. No one had a flawless relationship. Every pair had fights, bad days and sleepless nights. Some stayed together until they happily got married, some broke up and lived with the heartbreak until they got over the person and some stayed. They stayed because they couldn't break the relationship. They were afraid of the thought of living without their loved one. They faked their smile to other's and pretend everything is ok until they broke down. Those were the worst one's..

"You know, things between us aren't going well.." The older sighed as he stared with emotion in his eyes into the darkness in front of them, trying to find something to look at. Jimin's head snatched to the side when the heard the other boy's words and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Jimin was confused. Never would've he thought that the older boy's happy relationship was having trouble. Many people envied their relationship and wished they had someone that loved them as much as the two loved each other. But it seems like behind every perfect relationship is trouble.

"He's coming home late lately using the words "too much work" as an excuse. We haven't slept in the same bed for weeks and I heard him talking to someone on the phone..I- I don't know it could've been a good friend of his maybe that's why they talked so..so close" The last word came as a weak whisper out of his mouth and it made him want to punch himself for being so weak next to the younger. Yoongi took a deep shaky breath and wiped the cold tears rolling down his pale cheeks.

Jimin hated not being able to hug the older, to cup his face with his hands, wipe his tears and tell him that everything's going to be ok. But Jimin couldn't because if he did he couldn't let go. The younger was angry at Yoongi's boyfriend for treating him like this. His hyung didn't deserve this. He was the most beautiful and kindest person he had ever seen in his life. He deserved every happiness in this world and seeing him like this made Jimin want to destroy everything around him. The youngerdidn't understand how someone could make the person they love sad and cry. Aren't they supposed to make them happy? Because that was what Jimin tried since the day he had met the older boy. He promised himself to make him smile and laugh whenever he could even if it meant getting hurt. 

"But I love him and he loves me, he'd never hurt me" 

Those words felt bitter on his tongue, felt wrong and it made him feel bad inside for not believing the words coming out of his mouth. But that's how love was like. Stupid. It made you into a dumb person, made you blind because you couldn't see the truth, couldn't let go of the person who hurts you the most. Yoongi always wondered why love was like this. Why does loving someone hurt so f*****g much. 

The silence made his head turn and look at the younger's face. His eyebrows were furrowed and his pink, thick lips formed a thin line. His brown eyes were full with words he was holding inside as he stared silently at Yoongi. He wished he could dissappear right there and not see the look on his face. Yoongi knew exactly what was going on in the younger's head but he refused to believe it. It just couldn't be it. The blond felt small under the other's gaze and turned his attention back to the darkness to avoid his friend.

And there it was again. The silence. Not the silence they both shared as they sat under the tree after a long day or the silence where they just enjoyed each other's presence in silence, not wanting to ruin that beautiful moment with words. No, it was the uncomfortable silence that made Yoongi want to run away and hide forever from everyone and everything. 

"Hyun-" Jimin started but got cut off by Yoongi's low voice who had his eyes on him now. Jimin read every emotion in the older's face, his eyes were pleading for him to stop talking. "No, Jimin, I know what you're going to say. Don't" Yoongi pleaded as he stood up from where he sat and started walking away but soon his steps stopped when someone grabbed his wrist from behind. The older turned around in annoyance and glared at the red head. "What" he hissed, making Jimin flinch by the tone of his voice and let go of his arm. Yoongi looked away with a scowl on his face but he was too angry to feel guilty or to apologize. A sigh escaped Jimin's lips after a few seconds passed by and no one said a word. 

"How long can you run away from your problems? How long can you pretend everything is ok when it's clearly not. Hyung, I'm not stupid I can see your not happy with him"

The younger put a comforting hand on his hyung's shoulder. "One person can't keep a relationship alive, hyung, maybe it's better if you.." Yoongi furrowed his eyebrows and pushed harshly his hand away. "What do you even know, huh? What do you even know about loving someone so f*****g much that you'd do everything to make the person stay next to you even if you know exactly that he doesn't love you? You're just a stupid kid who doesn't know s**t. Stop getting between me and him! I don't need you or your help" The older yelled at the younger's face and looked at him in hatred, his lips trembling from anger and head shaking from yelling.

Jimin eyes grew in disbelief. His heart ached from the words the elder spit at him. He had never seen Yoongi act this way nor heard his voice so deep and hateful. He felt unwanted and unloved but soon those feelings turned into anger. Tears were close to roll out of his eyes but he held them in. The younger didn't want Yoongi to see him like this before he completely dissappeared out of life. Jimin couldn't handle the pain anymore. Everything had to end and his love for the older had to stop, had to die today. He knew it would hurt not being able to see the person you love anymore but seeing the elder look at him with those hateful eyes was even more painful. 

"Ok, if you really want to. Go, hyung, go and watch him f**k someone else behind your back an-"

He got interrupted by Yoongi's hands slapping him hard across the face, making him stumble a few steps back. The slap echoed trough the darkness and suddenly everything went silent. Even the crickets who were once to be heard dissappeared and left the two boys alone.

Yoongi's eyes grew big when he realized what he had done and his mouth opened but no words came out. Jimin held his aching cheek as he felt tears building in his eyes and blurring his vision. The elder whispered Jimin's name and tried to hold him but Jimin took one step back and looked at him with sad eyes. 

"Please be happy" 

he whispered and gave the elder an broken smile with tears still rolling down his face and ran away before Yoongi could stop him. Yoongi dropped on his knees when he saw the younger's figure dissappear in the darkness. What have I done he whispered to himself over and over again. He only realized he is crying when cold tear drops dropped on his cheeks.