Sycamore, Stars and the Air Between

PART II

I push myself into Ace, nipping at his lips, and run a hot tongue across his bottom lip. His hands resume their roaming, one on my ass the other digging into my hair. I knot my own in his, thick and soft I tug at it. Jesus, he's intense. It makes me hot. He opens his mouth and I take full advantage. He tastes fresh, a hint of beer on his tongue. Closer. I need to be closer. I pull my head back. Shock crosses his features.

"Come with me." I whisper, his hands loosen a hair and he lets me squirm out of them. His hand in mine I lead him down a winding hall, trying each door handle as I pass. Finally, one moves and I push it open, dragging Ace in behind me. Dark save for a glimmer of moonlight I take off my top off. He freezes. Eyes wide.

My turn to chuckle. I let the fabric fall on the floor and fall back on the bed. Scooting up on the foreign fabric, I prop myself up on my elbows. He's still rooted to the spot, his hands straining at his sides. Maybe he just needs encouragement. Maybe he hasn't had as much to drink as me.

Maybe he's had too much. Whiskey d**k was always unflattering. I pat on the bed next to me. No response. I try for the more direct route. "I want you. Let me show you." I make a slow circle on the sheet next to me, my voice a purr.

"Not like this." I can barely hear him across the room. Voice low and wavering.

"Not like what? You want me on my knees?" I push myself up to sit, fluttering my lashes at him.

He groans, "f**k. I can't do this." I swallow, boldness gone and pull my legs into my chest.

"You don't want me?" I need to hear him say it, need to hear the cold truth. Stupid. I'm so stupid. Thinking someone as hot as him could want me.

"If you knew how badly I wanted you, you'd be running out the door." He mutters, a hand races through his hair, tugging at the ends.

Confused I say, "You want me? Take me." He steps forward and I feel my stomach overturn, want flushing my skin.

The feelings extinguish when he bends down, grabs my shirt and throws it at me. I catch it dumbfounded.

"Not. Like. This." He repeats, accentuating every word. I slip the shirt on.

Dressed, I hiss. "Get out." Arms still around my legs I close my eyes. The door opens and closes.

I fall back on the bed. Sadness a thick, suffocating blanket over me. He saw it - Ace. He saw the desperation in my eyes, in my words.

And it disgusted him.

I roll deeper into the bed, tears gracing my cheeks. So stupid. A knock at the door reminds me that this is not in fact my bed. It isn't even my house. "Just a second." I call out into the darkness. Quickly I right myself, tuck my shirt back into my skirt and brush a hand over my cheeks. Tears - what tears?

I click open the door and find Caleb.

"Ashley?" His eyes search the space behind me and then return to look over me. "I thought someone was having s*x in here."

The laugh catches in my throat. "Nope. Just me." I answer. "Sorry, is this your room or where you looking for a hook up spot?"

A smile, boyish and friendly. "It's my room." He flips the light switch on the wall. "I was pumping the keg when I remembered I didn't lock it. You think after four years I'd learn my lesson." He rubs a hand over the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry. I just - " I grope for an explanation. "I just needed space." I lie. I know he sees it then, the bleary bloodshot eyes.

He pulls the door closed behind him. "Don't be sorry. Having you in here gives the room an immediate upgrade." He reaches out, wrapping a thick hand around my own. "Forget the party. Want to watch a movie?" He nods at the small TV mounted on the wall. My eyes flicker to the door, the music pulsing just on the other side.

Christian on the other side.

Ace.

"I'd really like that," I say.

^^

As much fun as welcome week is, there's no one who can say it's easy. Especially as an upperclassman. Skipping was okay as a freshman and passable sophomore year but now?

Now It's 7 AM and I'm sitting in a lecture hall praying that I can make it another 30 minutes without blowing chow. Last night. Jesus. Last night I had been so stupid.

I tap my hand on my jeans. Anxious too. Stupid and anxious. This is the new me. Junior year Ashley. What an upgrade indeed. My phone buzzes, I don't bother being discreet as I check it.

Nate: We still on for dinner tonight?

The feelings, those wretched feelings of being unwanted, being less than. They vanish.

Me: I can't wait, I'll see you at The Grill

Once my classes finish, I drop my books and laptop at my apartment and rush across campus. The Grill is one of the few nice while budget friendly restaurants on campus. Always crowded, always fun. I spot him before I even get through the doors, his freckles a giveaway. Twins to mine. I ram through the doors and go straight to him.

"Nate." I sob. "I missed you." He pulls me into a hug only brothers seem able to give, tucking me into his now adult body.

"I missed you too." He whispers into the top of my head. My body trembles. Three years was too long not to see family. We stay close, holding onto each other wondering if this is real for a long moment. His shirt absorbs the tears and muffles my sobs. Before university, Nate was my best friend, my closest confidant, the person I looked to first in everything.

He was actually the one who told me to go away to university, to accept the scholarship and travel across the country. And in the best possible turn of events, he followed me out here.

I squeeze him tighter and pull back. A sniffle. "You're so tall."

Nate grins and rests his arm on my head. "You're still short." I swat at him. "Come on, I have a table. Let's eat." He starts off back to the outdoor seating.

I tug on his arm to stop him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't come back." Another hug.

"You had your reasons. We're together now and that's all that matters." I smile up at him. Despite his appearance, he hasn't changed. Warm hearted, sensible and sweet.

I brush a runaway tear off my cheek. "Let's eat."

I pause at a table for two, water glasses sitting alone. Nate shakes his head and pulls me further into the restaurant. and I groan. A four top, two men are already seated, their backs to us. "Did you invite friends?" I ask, a whine laced in the words.

He shakes his head at me. "You know them. They wanted to see you."

We round the table together and then - my heart stops.

Ace. The sunlight tinting his eyes, skewing them more green than brown, he locks onto me, mouth parting. My stomach flips, out of surprise? Out of embarrassment? Out of want? It flips again. Want then. I smother the feeling and regain my senses as Nate speaks.

"You remember Kellan Lodge and Daniel Rankin?"

"Kellan?" I breathe. Ace perks his head up, face serious, shock still dominating his features.

"Some call me Ace." He says offhandedly.