Metamorphosis

Chapter 3: Colorful dreams and the smell of Coffee beans

Colors swirled all around me; it reminded me of rainbow fog. I swatted the air, the mist of colors mingled with each other, and it took me a second to realize I was still sleeping. I'm in a dream. The pungent smell of Lavender invaded my senses; a pale hand reached out to me from the fog. Their fingers were dainty and well kept. Something compelled me to grab it; as I placed my hand on their palm, an electric shock shot up my arm, and my mind was riddled with images. 

It was like I was looking down from the top of a cliff. I could see seafoam and crimson red blood that surrounded it. The water started to bubble, and something began to rise out of it. My heart quickened,  something surged through me like a 6th sense, whatever was climbing out of that water was not good...

As I leaned in, I lost my balance and fell forward off the cliff, and I screamed as I hit the water. It felt like a brick had hit me with a brick in the stomach. I opened my eyes, and  I could see the blood and the deep blue of the ocean; in the middle of it was a woman with long flowing blonde hair. She waded under the surface; her arms were slender as they sliced through the water like a knife through soft butter. My lungs ached for air; I ignored their plea as I watched the woman slowly turn towards me. My eyes widened as I saw her bloated extended belly; I lost the rest of my breath as it escaped through bubbles to the surface; I rushed upward then felt a hard pull on my leg. As I looked down, the same woman had a grip on me, and her face went from soft to a monstrous being with fangs. Her eyes had the slits of a snake.

She pulled me deeper into the depths; the water infiltrated my lungs and nose, a burning sensation replaced the life-giving air in my lungs. But then, my mind went blank, my heart began to give up its fight for life, and soon my vision blurred, and all I could see was darkness.

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I shot up and gasped, filling my lungs with air; the blood pounded in my ears. I had never had a dream so vivid and so... absolute. I touched my chest, embracing every breath I took. I looked around, trying to ground myself; I placed my feet on the cold wood floor that sent tingles up my legs.

I sighed in relief 'there is nothing like land,' I said to myself; I could kiss the ground if it weren't so dirty.

My phone buzzed in my pocket; I answered it without looking.

"Hello?" 

"Dove? Baby, is that you? Where are you? I'm so worried about you!" Brad's voice was laced with worry.

I sighed heavily, "I'm fine, just leave me-"

"I miss you. Please let's talk about this; I can meet you at Haven's coffee shop near your mom's."

I looked at the phone suspiciously. He tracked my phone; he knew exactly where I was.

I bite my lip. Why was it so hard for me to break away from him? Maybe it was because of that tiny space inside my heart that I still wanted to be with him.

"I'll even take you to that place you like by the park."

My heart ached. Was this a genuine apology? How would I know if I didn't go and see him...

"Okay, fine," I said.

"I'll meet you at the cafe around the corner, and hey-" 

"Hm?"

"You know I love you, right?"

I bit my lip again; the feelings I tried so hard to push down were flooding in again. He knew how to open them and cause havoc. He knew how to pull at my strings.

"Yeah..." I said before quickly hanging up. 

As I got up, I could hear the little skit of slippers coming around the corner; my mom popped in, walking into the kitchen, I smiled at her, but she showed no emotion.

"Mom?"

She sighed heavily as she leaned on the sink, "What?" Her tone was snippy; I trod water.

"Are you alright?" I asked with caution. 

She looked at me like I was stupid, "Am I okay? What's that supposed to mean?" She asked as she crossed her arms. My stomach tightened; whenever she got like this, Patrick always had something to do with It. He would whisper in her ear; he would make her believe things that weren't even true so that he could have her distance from them. 

"You are just incredible; you know that?" She said sarcastically. "You think you're better than all of us because you have a part-time job as a caretaker. You think you can run around here acting as if you own this place but guess what?!" My mother got in my face, and I stood there in silence.

"You came to me in a little wooden box, and I can put you back in it!" She yelled.

Her anger prodded at me like a hot poker. 

'She doesn't mean It; she's just sick...' I said to remind myself not to take anything she said to heart, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt like hell. Patrick rounded the corner, and I leered at him.

"What did you say to her?" I asked through my teeth; he wrapped his arm around my mom's shoulder.

"Nothing, just that you think she should be put back on that stupid medication because you think she's ill and can't take care of herself." I started to feel heated, and I balled my fists.

"You ruined her the day you walked into her life, Patrick." I hissed through my teeth. My mother was far from perfect, but at least with me, she wasn't like this. 

"Don't blame him! “I was fine before you came back into my life; now look at me, I’m a mess now!” My mother glared at me as if I were the cause of all her problems. Angry tears started to flood her cheeks.

“I love you, mom, but I can’t fix you...” I said to myself more than to her; my voice started to crack as I watched her go into the kitchen; I watched the woman who raised me fall apart before my eyes. She threw her dishes across the kitchen, she screamed bloody murder, and suddenly the world went silent; the pieces of glass floated before me as she continued to rampage. Patrick did nothing to stop her; if anything, he was enjoying the madness.

I wanted a mother so bad; I took on the role of a caretaker, and It became who I was in this house, but not anymore, I cannot fix a broken ceramic doll, and I cannot fix my rampaging mother. I walked to the front door as glass shattered behind me. I walked out with my chest feeling like an anchor was placed on top of it.                                                                                                                                                                                           

As I walked down the sidewalk headed towards the cafe, I tried to keep my feelings in check, but I would give off this tuning fork effect that lets me "feel" the emotions of people around me. I was not too fond of being like this and loved it at the same time. That's probably the reason why I could never hate my mother, and it wasn't her fault that this illness took hold of her, but at the same time, it doesn't excuse her actions. So I avoided it altogether; it might be a foolish way to deal with something, but it was how I got by with her, but I couldn't do it anymore. 

I could smell the roasted coffee beans that gave me a little perk up, knowing that hot coffee with mostly hazelnut creamer was waiting for me. I took a deep inhale as I walked into the Cafe. A speckle of people sat round orange tables; some tapped away at their keyboard furiously as if to write everything down before they forget.  The chalkboard above the counter shows various smoothies and coffees. The clear glass display showed off tasty treats, in of which was my favorite, cinnamon roll.My mouth started to water, and I realized that I had not eaten since yesterday evening. I quickly got in line and paid for my coffee and cinnamon bun. I hastily sat down and started to scarf it down. As I waited for Brad, my foot began to tap in anticipation.

The Cafe's door jingled as someone came in; Brad was wearing his black leather coat and dark blue jeans. He scanned the place for me, and once he saw me, he smiled with flashing white teeth. I gave a small smile in return; he hastily came to me and put his arm around me.

"Thank you for seeing me, and I guess I have a lot to explain, huh?"

I leered at him and said nothing, a pink flash of light caught my attention behind him; as I looked over Brad's shoulder, I saw no one sitting next to us. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Dove?"

"Hm?"

Brad took my chin in his hand, facing me towards him, "Hey, I'm trying to talk to you. Don't shut me out, Dove."

I sighed, pulling my chin away from him, "What do you have to say?" I asked as I sipped my coffee.

He cleared his throat as if he were about to give a big speech, "First off, I know I was rude and mean, but-"

That's when I stopped listening; "but" just ended with an excuse for his actions. I stood up in the middle of his sentence and started to leave; Brad grabbed my hand.

"Wait, Dove, what's wrong?"

"But? You want to apologize, don't through that "but" in there because it's not a real apology if you do."

Brad got up, and he took both my hands; he looked me in the eyes, "Okay, I'm sorry I was wrong for what I did. "

My heart ached; he seemed to be /sorry...maybe he was. But then, brad opened his arms to me. At that moment, I was wrestling with what I had, and I didn't have much. Without Brad, I didn't have any place to go besides Annies, and I didn't want to bother her with this stuff. Annie was one of my closest friends, but she hated Brad and wanted nothing to do with him.

I tentatively walked into his arms and embraced his hug. 'This time will be different,' I thought to myself as I looked at the coral-colored wall of the Haven Cafe. The flash of Pink light caught my attention again, but it came from outside the Cafe window this time. I stared at it, and I swore...I could see an outline of somebody watching me.