Lead Demon

Tennie

He stood at the window in his room, looking out at the familiar geometry of the streetlamp and garage and backyard, the three-story house across the alley and the giant pine tree at its side. His hand trailed across the curtains. He couldn’t sleep. It was well past midnight, and his parents had been in bed for hours. A part of him didn’t want to be awake, didn’t want to be waiting with this sickness in his stomach. The other part of him wanted to take it all in, every single last second he had here. Tomorrow, he left for Silveron. Tomorrow, he left everything he’d ever known behind. Not that there was much to say goodbye to. Most of his friends had stopped talking to him the moment he’d mentioned his acceptance—whether from anger or jealousy, he wasn’t certain.

Even his dad had been against the decision. Thirteen is too young to leave home, Tenn had heard him telling Mom. She’d put up a fight. She always would.

Apparently, a few of his friends thought that magic was the devil’s work, and if so, what did that make him? He’d spent the last weeks of summer vacation here, in his room, alone, watching TV and waiting. It was supposed to be an exciting time—that’s what all the pamphlets said. Instead, he felt miserable. His summer hadn’t been filled with video games and pizza, no more talk of what the coming school year would bring. At least, no more days of that for him; his friends had kept up the tradition without him.

The photos they’d scattered on social media like intoxicating bread crumbs were proof enough of what he was missing.

Behind him, the room was cluttered with packed boxes and suitcases. He’d tried to pack light, but his mom wouldn’t have it. She’d thrown in extra blankets and sweaters and socks, and even filled a box with emergency supplies—cookies, granola bars, instant noodles—just in case the cafeteria food was gross. Tenn’s stomach turned. It was the little gestures like that that made leaving so hard—the idea that someone loved him so much, the idea that he was willingly leaving that behind. Most kids his age wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Then again, most kids probably didn’t think they needed to leave home to find themselves. His only consolation was that it was just for a few months.

Just a few months.

Even then, though, he knew he’d never come back. Not as the person he was. He’d come back and be able to use magic, and that would set him apart farther than anything else. He’d entertained the idea of showing off to his friends, making things fly or lighting candles or walking on water.

What was the point in even thinking that when he didn’t have friends to return to?

He took a deep breath and went back to his bed, sat down on the covers and stared at the open suitcase in the corner, filled with all his new uniform clothes. It wasn’t robes. He’d almost hoped it would be, fulfilling some childish wizarding fantasy. The uniforms didn’t even look British. Just generic gray collared shirts and black slacks they’d gotten from the same store he got all his clothes.

He wasn’t even able to convince himself to bring his stuffed owl. He had a feeling the other kids would think it was stupid. Magic was no longer for the geeky. Magic was a career move. Magic was humanity’s way forward.

He glanced up into the mirror above his dresser and yelped.

With a crash like a wave, reality came back. He wasn’t thirteen, he wasn’t leaving for Silveron in the morning and he definitely wasn’t meant to be here. His heart raced; if he was here, that meant... He pushed himself from the bed.

“Going somewhere?”

Tenn turned around and faced the man standing in the shadows.

“Get out,” he whispered. Matthias just laughed. That’s when he noticed that Matthias was holding something in his hand. A book.

No, not a book. His journal. His heart dropped, doubled over with the feeling of betrayal, of being laid bare. Matthias caught his glance and smiled. He stepped from the shadows and into the moonlight.

“You’re making this too easy,” Matthias said. “Going out into the field again? It’s almost like you want to be found.”

“Stay away from us,” Tenn said. The glint in Matthias’s eyes made him realize his mistake a second too late.

“Us? They’re forcing bodyguards on you now? How embarrassing.” He tossed the journal into the air and caught it. “Stupid, too, when one considers the rather mortal implications of being by your side.” He opened to a page. “It would seem that those close to you often meet rather untimely demises.”

“Shut up,” Tenn said. He didn’t move to attack; he knew there was no point. Not in a dream. Not without any weapon, magical or material.

“‘I’m worried about leaving,’” Matthias read in a mocking, childlike voice. “‘What if something happens to Mom and Dad when I’m away? I know I can’t protect them, anyway, but I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened. How do I know I’m not saying goodbye forever? I don’t want to go. I know I can’t stay here, not if I want to really live my life. But I don’t want to leave them behind. It feels like leaving them is the end. Like if I’m gone, something bad will happen. I don’t want to lose them. I already feel like I’ve lost everyone else.’”

Matthias closed the journal and looked up at him. Tenn felt hollowed out from having his words read back.

“How does it feel, Tenn?” he asked smoothly. “How does it feel to know that every one of your deepest fears came true? And that you were the cause of them?”

“I...”

“You will come to me,” Matthias said. “You are weak. You think you’re strong, that your training has made you hard, but deep inside, you’re still a lost little boy crying for his mother.”

“Shut up,” Tenn said. There were tears in his eyes. Why wasn’t the dream ending? Why couldn’t he wake up?