Sun Seth Memories

Chapter 14

Let You Cry

I'm scared...

I'm alone...

Mom is gone...

I'm alone...

"Hey..."

It was the man with eye glasses. Big Brother with eye glasses offered his hand at him with a gentle smile. "Would you like me to keep you company?" Seth couldn't speak. He was blinded by the bright sunlight that reflects on Big Brother's hair, but, why is his smile brighter than anything else? His eyes shines, Seth was reminded of how his Mom would look at him.

The eye glasses Big Brother is warm. He's beautiful.

"It's not bad to be with people sometimes," Eye glasses Big Brother added.

He was feeling lonely. They placed him in an unknown place with unknown people and told him that he will be fine and he'll find his happiness one day in this new place. How did they know about that? They don't know anything about him and what truly makes him happy.

But, Seth can't leave. He's imprisoned. It's the worse. He doesn't want to be there. He wants to go back. To be with his Mom.

Seth is lonely. He kept himself company because... What is the point of being with other people.

He is cursed. The cause of his mother's death.

But, today, again. He talked to him again.

Every day, their interaction continued like that until, like how the sun's heat melts the frozen ice, slowly, Seth found himself used to his presence. When he realized it, he's craving his presence, his smile, his attention. His warmth.

Seth realized that he can be happy. That he wasn't at fault. He was the victim.

One day, when he woke up, he realized that his hatred of himself is gone. He can finally accept him. He is an omega. It was not his fault. What happened to him was a crime, a crime he didn't meant to happen. A crime he didn't cause. It was his father's choice. A big mistake of a choice but it wasn't Seth's fault. It was not his fault.

It took years for him to fully forgive himself but it was worth it. He's finally free of his past. It was a painful journey but it was worth it, especially because Big Brother Bernard was with all throughout his journey. Not once did they leave him. He was there, cheering him on.

He was always alone even in school. He doesn't want anyone else but his Big Brother Bernard. He then realized his respect turned to admiration, that of a romantic level. When he realized his own feelings. He decided to confess.

"I... I love you, Big Brother Bernard!" Eyes shut afraid to see his rejection, Seth shouted that in front of hid admired Big Brother.

But, his Big Brother only chuckles. Seth is relieved. He laughed! Meaning, he doesn't reject him. He must like him to!

Happy and relieved because of Big Brother Bernard's reaction, Seth opened his eyes with a overjoyed smile only to face with a cold and disgusted expression from his Big Brother Bernard.

Ah... His Big Brother's express is different. Vastly different. His gentle and warm aura is gone. He was... Seth shivered. His expression reminds him of his father!

Unconsciously, Seth step back, when his Big Brother caught sight of his action. He grinned. An evil one.

Right then and there, everything changed.

Seth shouldn't have trusted anyone. Seth shouldn't have hoped!

Weeks passed by without Bernard and Seth's path crossing until his phone rang. A phone call from Big Brother Bernard asking for help.

He loves him and that love he has for him drove him to run to where Bernard his. Blindly running, not stopping once. He was worried. He was scared. He can't lose Bernard! Regardless, whether he likes him or not, it doesn't matter. As long as Bernard's alive and well he's willing to do anything.

Who would have known.

Who would have known Bernard would be the cause of his almost death. And Bernard is not guilty, not in a slightest bit.

Bernard.

He hated him. He hated Seth. Seth disgusts him. It was the truth. The painful truth. One that he can't accept. Too difficult to accept.

Ah... I must be really cursed. Seth thought.

Seth softly opened his eyes to find his left arm stretch as if reaching something. He stared at the ceiling intently before everything finally sank in.

He touches his cheek and felt that it was wet with tears. He was crying.

Stupid. Dreaming over something so stupid. He scolded himself while softly hitting his head. Why? Why does he need to be reminded of his unwanted past? When he left everything behind to restart his life, he's fine. Not one did he dream of them, of him. So, why now? Are his dreams mocking him?

I was f****d. Well, I guess because that's what omegas are used for. He chuckled bitterly.

"i***t. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Seth chanted over and over again while hitting himself. "Stu--"

Someone grabbed his hands when he's about to hit himself again. "That's enough." Seth visibly flinched upon hearing that familiar voice. He gulped, slowly, he looked up in Sun's direction, the chuckles to himself. "Ah, right. I'm married to him," he mumbled to himself and slowly sat. Sun tried to assist him but he just raised his hand and refused his help. He cleared his throat. "S-So... What happened?"

How painful. It's painful. Sun's throat feels like it's being twisted. His heart's pounding so hard that he thinks Sun can hear his heartbeat.

Seth can feel Sun's eyes on him but he did not bother looking at him. No, it's not because he doesn't want to but because he can't. He's... he's... defiled.

He's ashamed of himself not only because he knew Sun found out that he was violated but because he can't shake off the possibility that Sun witnessed him being done so.

He stopped resisting. He knew he had stop resisting in the middle of it. He was tired. It was tiring. The constant voices in his head that reminds of what he is, of where he is, what his entirety has become. He stopped resisting because it was all too much. Was it right for him to let Jaxson do that to him? No, 'course not. He didn't want what happened to him, he tried resisting but... He failed.

That moment when he gave up and stopped resisting, Seth didn't feel the need to because everything was hopeless.

At certain point, Seth didn't find the reason for resisting. What was resisting for? He was raped before so it's nothing new to him.

But, he's married. He's now married.

Will Sun listen to him? Ah, why would he? He's not someone worth listening to.

Seth kept his mouth shut and stayed silent, so is Sun. They're both quiet, the thing is, Seth is not planning on saying anything.

He wants to but he couldn't stop himself. "What happened to Jaxson? Well, you see, things happen so we end up in bed—"

"— stop."

He didn't. He continued. "He was handsome and I was mesmerized — "

"— Seth, stop."

"I was attracted to his — " He's interrupted when Sun grab his chin softly and wiped something off his face.

Tears.

He was crying. He didn't notice be was crying!

He looked away from Sun's soft gaze while stifling, trying to stop himself from bawling his eyes out.

Is it the reason why he's throat's painful? Because he was trying not to cry in front of him?

"I've taken care of him. You won't be able to see Jaxson de Capille ever again." Sun softly whispered then he pulled him closer to him. Seth found himself leaning on his chest listening to his heartbeat.

Fast. His heartbeat's fast. Seth thought while listening.

Seth nibbled on his lower lip while looking for the proper words to say.

He just found himself saying, "I'm sorry,"

Sun stilled. Seth is not looking at Sun so he doesn't know if Sun is looking at him or elsewhere. Regardless of that, Seth feels better this way. If he can, he'd rather talk to Sun while he's hidden.

"What for?"

"I'm..." Used. Dirty. Raped. "I didn't fought enough. If I was a little stronger be wouldn't have been able to lay his hands on me." Seth gulped to gather his courage. "I'm sorry. The truth is I choose give up because I didn't find the reason to keep on fighting. When you crossed my mind, I asked myself if you would come to save me, I found myself thinking that you won't. I... I'm sorry I doubted you, I'm sorry if I didn't trust you enough..." His voice lowered, "I'm sorry I was... touched by him even though I'm married to you," and then his tears started falling again. Seth cupped his chest wjere his aching heart is. "T-thank you... Thank you for coming — hic — t-to save me. Thank you, Sun...! I... I was so scared. He... hits her, he's c-cruel — thank you... Because you came... I'm sorry... rry...! Ahhhh...!" Seth burst into tears. He wasn't only crying, he's sobbing and bawling his eyes out.

He cried while his face is buried on Sun's chest and clenching his chest. He cried his anxiety and fears away, he cried his gratitude. He cried everything on him, and not once did Sun complained. Instead, he's caressing his head lovingly while hushing.

Sun was warm. Warmer than anyone else. His scent smells sweet, not intoxicatingly sweet but a comforting one. Sun, Seth thought, he smells like home. So welcoming.

"Done...?" Sun asked while gently wiping his tears off. This time, they're facing each other. Seth is looking at Sun's face while the latter do the same. He has a small gentle smile on his lips while wiping his tears off. "Thank you for leaning on me. For showing me this side of you. You're still cute despite crying."

Seth's eyes widen then his cheeks heated up. He looked away but Sun made him face him again while chuckling lowly.

Now facing each other again, Sun sighs. "It wasn't your fault. I knew you did your best."

"How do you know—"

"— because I know you're not that type of person. You're too... suspicious and fierce to let him do what he wants. I'm sorry I was too late, Seth. I shouldn't have let him have his way."

He shakes his head. "No! It's not your fault. It was mine."

"No, it was my fault." Sun insisted.

He shakes his head, "No! Mine."

"It was mine."

Seth glared him, "Mine."

Sun smirked, "Yeah, I'm yours."

"Yea. Wait — what?" He blinked.

He watch as Sun lowly chuckles again. He huff a breath and looked away. Damn, Sun is indeed handsome. Jaxson's face was not even half of his husband's.

Sun, gently cupped his face and turned his face to him.

"Let's stop this. We're both sorry. It was not your fault or mine. It was the bastard's." Seth gulped. His face clearly darkened when he said the word 'bastard'. It was scary, yet, it's hot at the same time. Is he in heat or something? Seth can't seem to focus anymore!

"I'm glad just your safe and I have you back now."

Seth's heart felt warm. He didn't notice his smile. "Thank you," he grab Sun's hand holding his and unconsciously closer his eyes to feel the warmth of his skin. "Sun..." Seth opened his eyes and stared directly at Sun's eyes. "Please... Take the traces of his body off of me..." He whispered, begging

Sun was visibly surprised by the look on his face, but seeing as to how serious, no, how desperate he is. Sun stared at him intently before he softly nodded his head.

Slowly, Sun leaned down, their lips touched. Taking their time, softly and gently, Sun's lips moved while guiding Seth's lips to follow his. Sun's hands that were placed on Seth's neck slowly travelled downwards. When Sun pulled away, they're both gasping. Now, Sun is sitting on top of him who didn't notice that he's been laid back on the bed.

Seth gulped as his eyes meets Sun's. The latter is breathing heavily. Sun is eyeing him like a hungry wolf eyeing his prey but instead of feeling fear, Seth's body heated up. Tingles travelled from his lips to his chest where Sun's hands are. Sun caressed his chest over his chest and the friction of the cloth and his n*****s being teased aroused Seth even more.

"Seth..." Sun whispered, breathing heavily. "Are you sure?" He asked.

Seth gulped. Is he sure? Isn't this just because he’s thankful.

Seth smiled. What was he thinking. "I am." He nodded his head.

He's sure. He's never been sure of anything aside from writing career, this would be the next.

It doesn't matter what happens tomorrow, or the future. For now, Seth will focus on what happens 'now'. His present. Their present.

To be continued...