Wolfless

He charged at me, white teeth bared. He aimed to cause injury, I knew that much. His motion was fluid, his large muscled thighs tightened as he raced forward. I stood my ground, ready to deflect any blow that came my way. I had to be able to do this, I had trained so hard to get to this point. I wasn't like everyone else. I had to train differently in order to keep up with the strong and experienced people around me. And by people, I meant Wolves. The impact hurt, to say the least. His hands clashed into my shoulders, causing a jolt of nerve spasms to course through my arms like electricity. I had to fight through the pain and not let it deter me. I worked with the momentum of the attack, letting my body fall backward and folding my knees into my chest between our bodies. Once my legs were positioned, I pushed with all my might. He launched over my head and the sound of a loud oof indicated that he landed hard on his back. I scrambled to my feet and stood over the pack member, ragged breathing coming from both of us. "Good one," he groaned. "You're fast, and a quick thinker," he continued, "I'll give you that." "Well, thanks," I replied. Before I even knew what happened, I found myself in the dirty grass next to him. With a back that I was sure would have many bruises on it. "Didn't I tell you to always be on your guard?" he questioned. "Just because I'm your brother doesn't mean that you're guaranteed to be safe." I groaned, "Goddammit, Dane." I began to pull myself off the ground, mentally cursing the inevitable grass stains I'd have on my ass. "That hurt." Dane jumped up, appearing not to be in the least bit of pain. "Come on, get up," he encouraged me. Chuckles from nearby drew my attention. There was a group of pack members snickering at us. Well, at me, more like. "Leave her on the ground, that b***h shouldn't belong here," one tall wolf called out. His friends laughed around him, apparently amused by such a juvenile insult. A girl, who I assumed was his mate, rest her hand on his arm, sneering at me. "You couldn't even call her a b***h, she doesn't even fit the criteria." Dane's face sobered and he instead offered a hand out to me. I sighed, taking it and allowing him to help me up. I would never escape this treatment from the other pack members. Even if I was the daughter of the Alpha. Dad thought it would help toughen up my exterior and strengthen me against any hardships that dare come my way. Well, to say it didn't affect me negatively, would be a lie. I'd never show it, though. "f**k off, Tristan," Dane growled. I stood beside my brother, watching the group of wolves continue laughing and carrying on their merry way. "When I'm Alpha," Dane declared, "I will not tolerate that shit." I placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about it, Dane. It's not like I haven't heard all of that before," I sighed. "Doesn't mean it's right." I shrugged. "Not much I can do to change their minds about me." Dane's eyes softened. "I'll keep training you until you can knock me over with minimal effort. That way you can beat the s**t out of guys like him who would ever dare to ridicule you." He wrapped me in a hug. "In the meanwhile, I'll beat the s**t out of them." I heard the smile in his voice. I stepped back. "Yeah, I suppose you could." I glanced to the horizon, glimpsing the last orange rays of the setting sun. "Best head back home." The walk home wasn't far, and it's not like we could have gotten lost. Our home was the largest in the pack's compound. It was like a homing beacon calling out to us. It had been in our family for generations as each and every Alpha of Bloodmoon Pack had O'Connell blood in them. The Moon Mother had blessed the lineage with a strong eldest son in every generation. And, my brother was to be the next Alpha on his 25th birthday five months from now. Opening the front door, I inhaled deeply. The scent of roasted elk and veggies infiltrated my nose in the best way. The smell was amazing after a long afternoon of being beaten up – or what others more notably called training. Lexa, my brother's mate, peeked her head out of the kitchen doorway and looked up and down at us. "You two need to bathe. Like, now," she ordered. I looked at my hands and arms, they were covered in mud and grass stains. My clothes appeared in an even worse state. Kicking my shoes off, I saluted Lexa. "Sure thing, Future-Luna." Lexa rolled her eyes. "Seriously, the two of you behave like children." Dane sauntered over to her, a mischievous grin playing at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, my Lexie, why don't you give your man a big smooch." He reached out to her, puckering his lips in an almost cartoonish way. She squealed, "Ew! Get away from me, you nasty." Dane gathered his mate up in his arms and laughed while covering Lexa in dirt-smudged kisses. "You're too sweet to pass up," he chuckled. Her struggles finally proved fruitful and she succeeded in escaping Dane's grip. "Get your ass up and into a shower, right now." She sniffed, "you smell awful." I smiled at them. I wished that my eventual mate and I would be even half as in love as my brother and Lexa were. They were going to make great leaders of the pack. I sauntered down the hallway, past the kitchen where my mother was hand mashing some potatoes and Lexa was rejoining the supper preparations. My father wasn't anywhere to be seen, no doubt handling Alpha business elsewhere. I climbed up the stairs, my muscles protesting against it. They were so sore from being pummelled and smacked down into the dirt over and over. But yet, I kept going out there every day to continue the beneficial training that my brother was more than willing to give me. She-wolves in our pack weren't much for training. They were more than happy to be the traditional housewife and cook and clean for their mates. I had nothing against it. Women should be allowed to do what makes them happy. Which is why I continued having the crap beat out of me. I wanted to be strong. My room was a little drafty, no doubt from the window I had left open earlier in the day. I crossed the room to go close it, hearing the excited voices of wolves outside. I glanced down through the window, watching pack members frolic around, playing with each other. I envied it. I used to have friends growing up, right up until I turned 13. When the other wolves around me suspected that I hadn't developed in the same way as they did, I was suddenly a social outcast. They avoided me as if I were one of the ten plagues. I didn't know why it mattered. I could catch on to the scent of a deer and track said deer just like anyone. I could run just as fast, if not faster than all of the wolves in the pack. I had fast reflexes, strong muscles, anything a wolf would need in order to survive. Except for one thing. I had never claimed a wolf form. And I had absolutely no idea why. My brows furrowed and I slammed down the windowpane, causing the frame to shake a little. I stomped over to my attached washroom and turned on the shower faucet, allowing the water to warm up. I slipped out of my clothes, dropping the dirty materials into the laundry hamper. I quickly jumped into the steaming water, letting out a satisfied sigh. The warmth and sensation upon my aching muscles were just what the doctor ordered. It was a good thing that Wolves were fast healers because if we weren't, we'd all be permanently disabled. The amount of damage that another Wolf could do to a human body... well, let's just say that the end results wouldn't be good. The shower was quick and in no time, I had dressed in some baggy clothes that I was most comfortable in. The dining room had been set and Lexa and my mother were just about finished placing the gourmet cooking onto the table. And, like clockwork, my father walked through the front door at seven o'clock sharp. My mother grinned and exited the room in time to greet my father. I sat in my seat and pulled my phone out of my pocket and began flicking through my various social media apps. I even tapped on the icon of a werewolf dating app, Trackr. It was invented to help us wolves find our mates as there had been a drop in the werewolf population within the last couple of years. The creators of the app attributed it to mates not finding each other, which was a fate that I assumed I was destined to. I sighed, no new messages. "Farren, please," my mother called for my attention. "The rule is no phones at the dinner table." I nodded, "Sorry, mum." I stuffed my phone back into my pocket. She smiled and sat down in her seat. My brother and Lexa joined soon afterward and we waited for my father to seat himself at the head of the table with Mum to his right. "Smells amazing, ladies," my father grinned. "You've really outdone yourselves." Lexa and Mum smiled brightly. "Thank you, Alpha," Lexa replied. Mum began passing the dishes around the table for everyone to serve themselves. "How's everything, Dad?" Dane began. "How's pack business?" Dane had been shadowing my father for a while now, readying himself for taking over as Alpha. My father cleared his throat. "Things are good. Investments are stable but we're predicting an increase in profits soon. Our alliance with the Steelmane Pack is under question. But, otherwise, all's well." Dane nodded. Lexa smiled and directed her statement to Mum. "These mashed potatoes are amazing, Kimberly." Mum giggled, "It's not hard to whip them up. I'll have to teach you my secret recipe." The conversation continued as I picked at the food on my plate. Most dinners went like this. Dad and Dane talked about pack business, what stocks were falling and what the economy was predicted to be in the next month or so, how the pack is thriving, among other topics. Mum and Lexa spoke about gardening or cooking, two things they had a great passion for. And, then I would just kind of... sit there. Being an Alpha's daughter meant I had to walk in most people's shadows. I had popped a roasted carrot into my mouth when I realized my mother had asked me a question. "What do you think I should make for dinner tomorrow night?" My eyebrow raised, "Why not make whatever comes to your mind, like always?" Mum sighed, "I know I could do that, but it's a special dinner." "What's so special about it?" Lexa chuckled, "Farren, an Alpha from a pack in the next province over is coming by." This interested me. "Who?" "Alpha Declan Carter, from Pack Nightstar," my father grumbled. "That damned traitor." I nodded. My father only believed that Alpha Carter was a traitor only for the fact that he associated himself with vampires. A race of creatures that were supposed to be the enemies of wolves. I didn't voice my opinion on the topic as I hadn't had many encounters with them. Mum giggled nervously, "Well, he said that he was just passing through to the next province for some business when I talked with him over the phone this afternoon." She wiped at her mouth with a napkin. "We can still be civil." My father grunted. "We'll feed him. If he wants anything else, I ain't giving it to him." My mother furrowed her brows. "We'll at least be welcoming, don't you think, Daniel?" "Only out of respect for another Alpha, nothing more," my father grumbled again. Silence resumed around the dinner table as I pushed my food around with my fork. I sipped at my glass of water when Lexa spoke up, finally filling the prolonged silence. "We have an announcement to make," she grinned, looking over to my brother. "Right, Dane?" Dane swallowed his food. "Right now?" He placed his fork down. "I thought we were saving it until-" "We're pregnant!" Lexa burst. My mother dropped her utensils and leaped up from her chair. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed. "That's amazing news!" She looked toward her husband. "We're going to be grandparents!" Dane tried to act like it wasn't that big of a deal, but with the grin hiding at the side of his mouth, I suspected the contrary. I smiled slightly, "Congrats, you guys. You'll raise great pups." Dad smiled, getting up from his seat and going over to clap Dane on his back. "You'll do this family some good with raising strong wolves." He glanced over to me, "Now, what a good example your brother presents for you." I frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?" Dad continued, "Only that Dane is a well-developed wolf with a lovely mate by his side. It's something to aspire to." My mother's smile slowly drifted from her face while Lexa settled down and cleared her throat. "Maybe we should have saved this until-" "No," my father cut her off, "Farren needs to remember her duties as a she-wolf." He advanced toward me. "We all know what this is about," I stood to face him. Challenging an Alpha in this way was never advised. "So why don't you just come out with it." "You haven't even tried to claim your wolf form!" he boomed. "It's an embarrassment. The Alpha's daughter has no wolf." I stepped toward him until I was just mere inches from his face. "So that's what I am to you, hm?" My mother grasped my arm and tried to pull me back, perhaps subconsciously warning me that I really didn't want the answer that I would receive. "Yes," the Alpha's tone was full of authority. "You're the laughing stock of this pack." There were audible gasps from around the room. My mother's grip loosened as she stepped back. "Daniel," she barely got out. Dane went to my side, wanting to get me out of this situation. He was my protector, and he always had been. Whenever kids would pick on me growing up, he'd throw the stones to chase them away. Our routine had followed us into adulthood and I was beginning to think that that was the problem. I always had a brother to fight my battles for me rather than allowing me to receive any scars. "You're right," I finally said among the awkward silence. "I'm a complete disaster." "Farren," Mum said in a whisper. I rounded on her. "Dad's right. It's dishonorable not to have claimed a wolf at my age. It's probably why I haven't met my mate yet. Perhaps I don't even have one." Tears threatened to fall. "I'm no wolf." I left the dining room and ran up the stairs, aiming for my bedroom closet. I couldn't stay and continue being the burden of the Alpha family. I had to leave. I had to erase myself from the pack, along with all the embarrassment my family had endured on my behalf. I tore open my closet door, grabbing the first duffle bag that I saw. Clothing hangers began flying as I stuffed my clothing as much as I could into the bag. I felt a presence enter the room behind me, but I didn't care to find out who it was. All I could feel was shame. "Farren," my brother's voice was full of worry. He usually didn't let that slip out, but we had talked about my leaving in the past. "You can't just leave us." I didn't bother facing him. "You can't stop me this time, Dane. I can't handle this anymore." His hand took hold of my arm as he spun me around. He steadied me with both hands on my shoulders. "Do you understand how this would affect Mum?" I pushed his hands away. "She doesn't need me. You'll be Alpha soon enough, she'll have you and Lexa." "So, what now?" was his question. I ran a hand through my dark hair. "Go rogue, I guess." Dane ripped the duffle bag right out of my hand. "Like hell you are!" He tossed it onto my bed across the room. "Give me until the end of the week to sort this out," He pleaded. "I'll get our father to see his wrongdoings." I narrowed my eyes at Dane, actually considering what he was saying. On one hand, I shouldn't have to accept the judgment from my own pack. They should be welcoming without condition. On the other hand, life as a rogue isn't easy. They lack protection, thus allowing for any pack to pick them off and kill them for sport if they so wished. Not to mention that any Alpha would sign a death warrant on them if spotted. I lied, "Fine." Dane embraced me, letting out a deep breath he'd been holding. "It's the right decision, Farren." I just prayed to Moon Mother that he would forgive me. *** I sat on the swing, feeling the afternoon breeze tickle the back of my neck, blowing small tendrils of hair around. The back-porch swing was a place I'd come to catch up on some reading. And to spend some time alone from the pack. It left me secluded and allowed me space to think. After last nights incident, breakfast had been very silent. My father was already up and gone by the time I had reached the kitchen. He was usually one to spend the morning meal with his family, so with his absence, it was quite apparent that he was still pissed at me. He had been holding the no-wolf thing over my head since I turned thirteen. I just didn't understand why he was so hard on me. If I could force myself to claim a wolf form, didn't he think that I would? Did he think that I was avoiding my birthright for shits and giggles? I flipped a page in my book, getting caught up in the suspense of my murder mystery novel. A ping sounded in my pocket and alerted me to a notification. I knew right away it was the Trackr app. I pulled my phone out and tapped on the app icon. Soon enough, I saw that someone had sent me a message. I groaned. It hadn't been my idea in the first place to download the app. Mum had been worried that I'd have too hard a time finding a mate and thought that I would give technology a try. I followed her suggestion out of concern for my mother. I couldn't have her constantly worrying about me all her life. And, if this was a way to get some things off of her plate, then so be it. I tapped on the message, rolling my eyes at the text I found. Any wolves that had ever messaged me never really caught my eye. It was either my mate wasn't on this app, or it was something that I feared: I didn't have one. I sat back into the swing chair. Sighing at the fact that this could possibly be the last time that I would ever be at home. A part of me would miss it, really. The memories of growing up and running around the fields with Dane, mother's home cooking... But I really wanted to escape the ridicule I faced on a daily basis. Call me a coward, I didn't care. Running from my problems seemed to be the only solution. I grabbed the duffle bag I'd finished packing last night. I knew my family was out tending to their daily routines so I decided that this would be the perfect time to leave. I knew I didn't have a Wolf to protect me if things went awry, but I also knew that I could run and track and fight just as well as any other Wolf in human form. I couldn't stick around and become a burden, a spinster, so to speak. I placed my book into the duffle bag and zipped it up. I slung it over my shoulder and sauntered down the back porch stairs. I did see some wolves in the distance that were busy patrolling, but none ever glanced my way. I could literally walk straight by them and they wouldn't do anything to alert anyone of my leaving. And that was exactly what I did. On the edge of the compound was a thicket of trees and shrubbery. All I had to do was get through it to the other side where I would find the highway. I'd walk until I could hitchhike my way into town and pay for a bus ticket. I had made sure to raid my father's emergency money stash in his office. Three thousand dollars would do the trick until I could find my own apartment and job far away from here. The highway was quiet; not a vehicle in sight. I knew I would have to walk a while before I could ask for a ride from anyone. I came prepared with my favourite running shoes and a couple of water bottles. Crickets were chirping somewhere in the ditches while gophers were scurrying around to find their next meal. The wind blew my dark hair around my face, no doubt making knots that I'd struggle through later. And for the first time in a long while, I felt calm. I didn't have my father breathing down the back of my neck or my mother constantly worrying over me and treating me as though I was this fragile invalid. The sun beat down on my pale skin, warming me to the core with its caress. I smiled to myself, noting how crazy and reckless I was. I had just done something that was shamed in wolf culture. Something that, if caught, would force me to face serious consequences. I had gone rogue. And I had never been more content.