Pavel
PavelIt takes my housemates a couple days to notice that the lights are out inside my head. I’m still eating. Still speaking although not much.
It wouldn’t be hard to argue that I was dead inside before I met Kayla. Now, there’s no doubt. I don’t allow myself to think. Or to feel. Or to do anything but the most mechanical of actions.
After I dropped Kayla off that night, I returned the rental car. Flew back to Chicago.
Found Ravil and told him I was staying. And then I went out on the roof to let the cold bite of an April night soak into my bones. Freezing all my organs exactly in place.
It’s not until Sasha asks me how the apartment building hunting is going that anything even moves in my chest.
Not that my heart flopping like a fish on land is anything worth celebrating.
“Th
